FAMILY VALUES
by Desktop Dragon
Summary: This story was originally the very short stories 'The Lost Baby' 'Growing Pains' 'Older and Wiser' and 'Three is the Magic Number' They were my very first tentative foray into the world of fan fiction, and I uploaded them to the site back between Sept 2013 & Jan 2014. It is about what I think happened next, a few years down the line after 'Freed' I DO NOT OWN FSOG OR ITS CHARACTERS
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: This story was originally the very short stories **_**'The Lost Baby' 'Growing Pains' 'Older and Wiser'**_** and '**_**Three is the Magic Number**_**' They were my very first tentative foray into the world of fan fiction, and I uploaded them to the site back between September 2013 & January 2014. **

**I now believe they would have been much better as a single story instead of several small ones, (but back then I believed quantity was better than quality!) so I have tried to rectify that and brought them all together as one story and given them a damn good edit. I can't do much about the pretty diabolical writing without sitting and rewriting the whole lot, which I don't have the time or inclination to do, so the main content and storylines remain the same, (just hopefully, now without all the typo's and errors) and as the storyline hasn't been altered there are numerous time jumps throughout the story.**

**This story now starts with the very short story I wrote called '**_**Three is the Magic Number'**_** and which was so short it didn't really qualify as a story and with hindsight, looking back now shouldn't have been posted as one. We join the Grey family where Ana is pregnant with her third child, Teddy is 4 and Phoebe is 2, '**_**The Lost Baby', 'Growing Pains' **_**and**_** 'Older**__**and Wiser'**_** follow on after it.**

**(For your information, I have kept the other FSOG stories I wrote around this time which all link in with these, namely: '**_**Blind Faith in You',**_** '**_**Christian'**_** and '**_**Goodnight My Love'**_** as separate entities.)**

**FAMILY VALUES**

CHAPTER 1

I look at the calendar on my desk and smile. We have now entered a new month, a very special month as far as I am concerned, today is the 1st May and that makes me smile in just over a weeks time it will be the 9th May a date which five years ago changed my life forever, when I fell into the office of the enigmatic multi billionaire Christian Grey, three months later I'd married him and then by the time our first wedding anniversary arrived, I had given him a son, then two years after that I gave him a daughter.

I unconsciously press a hand to my stomach, I have just discovered I am pregnant with my third child, my husband doesn't know yet but I am certain he will be thrilled we had discussed having another baby and actively started trying last month and as usual my husband's performance has been stellar and it didn't take long for me to fall pregnant. I snort at that thought, as if it was in any doubt that I would have difficulty conceiving, after all my virile husband managed to make me pregnant when I was taking birth control, so without any protection the results were inevitable.

I can't wait to tell him but I want the perfect moment as I think about that my phone rings and I smile, the ringtone tells me it is my husband calling and I quickly answer.

"Hi" I say as I picture my husband sitting behind his own desk at work.

"Hi baby," he replies with that soft seductive tone which never fails to reduce me to mush.

"What's up?" I ask wondering why he has called.

"Do I need a reason to call my wife?" he replies teasingly.

I giggle and I sense his smile down the phone.

"I love that sound" he whispers almost to himself, then I hear him clear his throat, "I want to take you away to New York for the weekend, not tomorrow, I am talking about next weekend, we'll fly out Saturday morning and return Sunday evening," he says decisively.

My mind quickly processes what he is saying and an idea takes root in my head, "Sure that would be nice, the children will love it" I say.

There is a silence for a moment and then he speaks again, "No, just us, my mother said she will take the children, I want some time alone with you," he says.

"Oh" I reply a little taken aback by that.

"Ana? You know they will be fine with Mom and dad" he says carefully.

"I know that" I reply and I realise this could work to my advantage although it's incredibly short notice, just over a week to plan what I want to do so I will need help but I know just the person who will be able to help me.

"Ok, sounds good," I say eventually after I have worked out my plan of action.

"Is everything alright Ana you sound preoccupied, you do want to go don't you, if you don't you only need to say?" he says carefully, the note of worry in his voice doesn't escape me and I rush to reassure him.

"I'm sorry Christian, you caught me as I was right in the middle of something, sorry, yes of course I want to go, I think that's a wonderful idea, just the two of us – it's just what we need" I say decisively.

"Good, that settled then, I'll let you get on, I'll pick up later baby" he says, I can hear the relief in his voice and I shake my head, after 5 years together he still is incredibly insecure at times.

"Yes, I'll see you later, sorry Christian but I need to get on" I say, "I love you" I quickly add.

"I love you too baby" he replies and I feel my stomach muscles clench and my heart leap at those words.

As soon as he hangs up, I fly into action. First of all I call Andrea, Christian's PA she will be able to point me in the right direction.

"Christian Grey's office, Andrea Parker speaking."

"Hi Andrea, it's Ana, I was wondering if you could help me?" I begin.

"Oh, hello Mrs Grey, how can I be of assistance?" Andrea replies, in her usual uber efficient way.

"I want to surprise Christian, and as you know he likes to be in complete control of everything, which makes surprising him rather difficult" I say and I swear I hear a small snigger at that.

"So... next Sunday I want to take him the Caribbean for a couple of days, he has arranged for us to go to New York for the weekend, and I was hoping you could help me extend it a bit and help me organise somewhere to stay and make sure his schedule is cleared to take in the extra day away as he will be out of the office on the Monday?" I pause and wait.

"No problem Mrs Grey, I can do that," she says and my mouth drops open in surprise, "You may want to speak to Ros to give her a heads up of your plan so when Mr Grey doesn't appear on Monday she can step in should anything important arise" she adds.

"Ok, thanks I'll do that" I say.

"Would you like me to put you through now?" Andrea asks.

"Yes thank you," I say and thank you for your help" I add.

"No problem Mrs Grey, I'll get the details sorted out and email you as soon as I have confirmation" she replies. "Right then I'm just transferring you now" the line goes quiet and some irritating music starts to play.

I wait and a moment then I hear a click.

"Ana, how the devil are you?" Ros's thick throaty voice makes me smile.

"Hi Ros, I'm good thanks, listen, I'm just giving you a heads up, I'm planning on taking Christian away next weekend, now he thinks he is the organising everything and he thinks he is taking me to New York, but I am planning to surprise him with a trip to the Caribbean, so that means he will be out of the office next Monday" I say.

I hear Ros laugh, "Well, good luck with that, you are a braver woman than me trying to get one over on Christian, but that's fine, thanks for telling me and I swear I won't breathe a word, but I have to be honest with you, I doubt you will be able to pull this off without him finding out, you know what he's like."

I do know and I know my chances of him not finding out are minimal but I am determined to try and so I laugh.

"Yes, but I am remaining positive" I say.

We talk a while longer and then I hang up, the next person I need to get on side is Taylor, if he gets wind of my plan it will certainly be game over as he will tell Christian as soon as he finds out so I quickly call him.

"Hello Mrs Grey is there a problem?" he says by way of greeting.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at that. Why does he always think the worst, I'm certain to some extent it is being with Christian who always thinks the worst and it has rubbed off on him.

"No Taylor, relax I need your help with something" I say.

"Oh?" he says, his demeanour shifting, he is clearly interested.

"I want to surprise Christian and I need your help, first of all by not telling him what I am planning and secondly by helping me implement those surprises," I say.

There is a brief silence before he replies and I am guessing he is trying to work out if agreeing to help me will cost him his job, this is confirmed for me when he does reply.

"Alright, what do you have in mind and will helping you cost me my job?" he asks warily.

I laugh, "No, it's nothing like that, Christian is planning on taking me to New York next weekend and I want to surprise him with a trip to the Caribbean, Andrea is organising that part for me, but I also have some news which I need to tell Christian, it's good news and I want to break it to him in a special way and that's where you come in" I say.

"Go on" he says and I now know instinctively that I have him on board.

"My idea was, you and Gail need a break, you work hard, so next weekend, you help me organise what I have in mind and then you take Gail and spend the weekend together in New York on me, so, what do you say?" I wait holding my breath while he considers this.

"It's my weekend to have Sophie next weekend so that could work out well" he says.

"Great!" I say, I quickly outline what I have in mind and after listening and asking a number of questions he said it was doable and that Gail would be more than happy to assist with implementing those plans and best of all he had agreed to keep Christian in the dark about it.

**oooOOOooo**

"Ana, will you please hurry up!" Christian shouts up the stairs to me, I am getting myself ready and I walk down the stairs quickly pushing our passports into my purse.

I inwardly smile at my husband's impatient tone as I see him with his hands on his hips glaring up at me.

"Keep your hair on Grey, I'm coming" I say facetiously and for good measure I roll my eyes at him.

I watch as Christian's eyebrows rise at my words and he looks at me intently. Those amazing grey eyes looking straight into me. I give him a wide smile and see his mouth twitch with reluctant amusement and I know immediately that his irritation at being kept waiting has now vanished.

"Well, are we going then?" I say quickly as I reach him.

Christian grasps my hand and we head outside. Grace is waiting with our children and she smiles at us and steps forward to hug Christian. As we reach her, he leans down and places a small kiss on her cheek.

"Have a good time darling," she says to him and I watch as he hugs her back and assures her that we will.

This seemingly normal gesture is still something which makes both Grace and me emotional as we witness it, my husband who for so long feared touch now willingly giving and receiving affection. I watch as Grace pulls herself together and then she turns to me, enfolding me into her arms and hugging me affectionately.

"You too Ana, you deserve this break just the two of you, and don't worry about the children they will be absolutely fine, Carrick and I will keep them fully entertained."

I thank her and turn my attention to the two small faces staring up at us, I kiss the head's of my two children and I tell them both to be good. I look at our son, as he nods and tells me he will. Teddy is now four years old and Christian's clone; he has Christian's unruly copper hair and his features. The only thing of me he seems to have inherited is my blue eyes. Standing at his side and holding his hand is our daughter Phoebe, she is two and at the moment is the epitome of the 'terrible twos' her tantrums are becoming legendary. As much as Teddy resembles Christian, Phoebe favours me in looks but she too has inherited Christian's beautiful copper coloured hair, not to mention his temper and ability to throw spectacular tantrums.

I know Grace and Carrick will take good care of them but I can't help but feel a pang of worry, essentially hoping that Phoebe behaves herself, and there also anxiety as I don't like being separated from my children, but Grace is right, we hardly ever get time on our own to kick back and relax, and so I am looking forward to having my husband all to myself for a few days. Christian and I need some alone time, just the two of us, I also have something important I need to tell him and this getaway is the perfect opportunity to do it.

Christian thinks we are only going to our apartment in New York for the weekend, but I have a number of little surprises planned for us which Taylor has helped me put together and which Andrea and Ros have helped me to implement. As I climb into the back of the SUV, I see Taylor is sitting in the driving seat waiting patiently and he looks at me in the rearview mirror.

"Is everything I asked for in place?" I ask and he gives me small smile and a nod.

"Yes, Mrs Grey" he replies politely.

I sigh, despite me constantly asking him to call me Ana he still insists on calling me Mrs Grey, but I suppose that is an improvement on ma'am, something which I put a stop to straight away.

"Thank you," I say sincerely and he glances at me once more.

"No problem" he replies kindly.

My attention turns to the door as Christian climbs in beside me, he looks excited and his eager expression reminds me of a small child filled with anticipation.

"Ready baby?" he says as he grasps my hand. I nod and give him a small smile, and then I get distracted by movement and I look past him and watch as Grace and Carrick pull away in their car with Teddy and Phoebe. My heart lurches as the car disappears and it must show on my face as I feel Christian pull me towards him and grip me tightly.

"You know they will be fine with mom and dad, and this isn't the first time we've left them" he says gently as he watches me carefully, I know he is trying to reassure me as I'm sure he can see by my expression that I am a little distressed about being separated from our children.

**oooOOOooo**

The GEH jet is speeding towards New York, and I can't wait any longer, I had originally planned on telling Christian my news when I had revealed my first surprise that I have in place after we arrive in New York, but I am also like an expectant child waiting for something and also like a small child I am bursting and can't keep my news to myself any longer. I have no concerns or reservations about his reaction to what I am going to tell him; in fact, I am certain he will be overjoyed.

I grasp Christians hand and lead him towards the sofa, and he looks at me questioningly, but allows himself to be lead.

"Come with me," I say simply.

"Is everything ok baby?" he asks.

"Everything is wonderful" I say with a bright smile, this seems to pacify him and he watches me carefully, a little suspiciously, and I am certain he is wondering what I am up to.

I realise I must look nervous, but it is actually the excitement I am feeling at this moment. Natalia appears with some food and drinks and lays it out for us, I thank her and she smiles at me then she disappears into a side cabin. This is it, I grip Christian's hand tightly and reach into my purse, pulling out an envelope I look at it briefly and then I wordlessly offer it to my husband. Christian frowns.

"What's this?" he asks as he takes it from me.

"Open it and find out," I say with a small smile.

I watch carefully as he opens it to reveal a small card, he glances at me confusion still evident in his eyes as he pulls it out of the envelope and opens it, his confusion disappears as realisation dawns on him as to what he is seeing and a huge smile fills his face. I look at him waiting for him to say something, his head whips up and he points at the card the joy and elation spilling from him.

"Does this mean...?" he begins and I nod.

He reaches for me and pulls me into his arms smothering me with kisses. I giggle and wrap my arms around him.

I look down at the scan picture I had taped inside the card which Christian is gripping tightly.

"Baby number 3 eh?" he says smiling down at me.

I shrug nonchalantly, "They say three _is _the magic number!" I reply with a grin.

"How long have you known this?" he asks after a moment.

"I've known for sure for only a few days, but I've had my suspicions for a while, and I did a pregnancy test and when that confirmed those suspicions, I arranged for an appointment with Dr Green and had my initial consultation and scan" I explain.

"Why didn't you tell me before now?" he asks staring intently at me then looking once more at the picture.

I can tell by his tone he is remembering his less than enthusiastic reaction when I told him I was pregnant with Ted, I know that still bothers him and I suspect he thinks I was reluctant to tell him because I was afraid of his reaction, but that isn't the case as he more than made up for the negativity he showed, when I became pregnant with Phoebe.

I debate whether or not to reassure him but I decide not to, I push it out my mind, I'm not going to bring it up, I'm not going to validate his unfounded worries in any way, so instead I just shrug again.

"I wanted it to be just us and to be special, and so when you suggested us going to New York for the weekend by ourselves, it seemed like the perfect time to tell you, I was going to wait until we got there but I just couldn't wait any longer."

Christian pulls me to him again, and then a wicked grin fills his face and he runs his hand suggestively around my breast, "Hmm... I will get to taste your breast milk again" he says and he licks his lower lip.

I smile at that, he has now dismissed his dark thoughts and predictably his mind has now ventured into the gutter! I push him away, shaking my head.

"God, you are so kinky," I say trying to sound stern and shocked but failing miserably. Christian laughs and pulls me closer, he is obviously ecstatic about the news he is going to be a father again this is confirmed when I see his hand gravitate to my stomach and he possessively holds me.

When we land in New York Taylor whisks us straight to our Fifth Avenue apartment, I love it here, as the view from the penthouse is fantastic. In fact I love New York period, the general hustle and bustle and the whole feel of the place. As I stand idly gazing out of the window, Christian comes behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"What do you want to do then Mrs Grey?" he asks seductively, kissing my neck and giving me no doubt about what he wants to do.

I spin around and wrap my arms around him. This is going to interesting if he didn't have any knowledge about what I was up to he will be suspicious when I tell him what I want to do, but I am hoping I can manage to convince him.

"Shopping," I say firmly.

He releases me and steps back staring at me in utter disbelief, yeah I was expecting that reaction as he knows I detest shopping and always have. I try and keep a straight face but inside I am panicking slightly hoping he doesn't get too suspicious by my odd and out of character request and ruin the surprise that I have planned.

"Shopping?" he asks, "Seriously?" he adds.

I nod enthusiastically, "I want us to go shopping – not just shopping but just you and me together, like we did on honeymoon, just wandering around the city and enjoying the sights and relaxing in each other's company, we rarely get to do that and it's just something I would like to do" I say hoping he buys my less than convincing explanation.

Christian stares at me a moment as if he is trying find a lie in what I am saying and then he slowly nods.

"Alright, if that's what you want then that's what we will do" he says and he pulls his phone out and makes the arrangements, totally oblivious to the fact the arrangements are already in place.

Soon we are walking around New York, Taylor is a discreet distance away and we are walking together with our arms around each other. I try not to make my intentions too obvious but I need to get Christian to my first surprise.

"Can we go to Central Park?" I ask innocently, whilst hoping that my plans to surprise Christian have been implemented.

"We can do whatever you want baby" Christian mutters and kisses me gently on my forehead, and we head into the park, I look back at Taylor who just smiles and nods discreetly, and as we turn a corner, I see one of the picnic tables laid out with food and Gail and Sophie are putting the finishing touches on it, I see Luke Sawyer hovering nearby, and he too smiles as we approach, Christian takes in the sight in front of him and he stops dead and looks dumbfounded, I urge him forward and he sits down, and stares at me questioningly.

"Thank you, Gail," I say and I reach for her and hug her tightly.

"It was my pleasure" Gail replies as she returns my hug, then I turn my attention to Sophie and I greet her with a warm hug.

"Hello, Ana," Sophie says in her quiet shy way.

"Right then," I say quickly taking charge, "are you going to go and take your husband now and spend some family time together?" I add looking up at Gail who laughs and nods in agreement.

I watch as Taylor walks up to her and wraps his arm around her.

"Thank you, Mrs Grey," he says and I wave my hand dismissively and then watch the three of them disappear.

I turn to Christian who is still staring at me with his mouth open.

"You arranged all this?" he says eventually.

I nod, I am feeling oddly smug and more than a little elated about managing to pull this off, it's not very often I manage to surprise my control freak husband.

"I did, I arranged it with Gail and Taylor, and he brought in Luke to protect us, while he has a well-earned rest. You see just as we needed to get away and spend some time together Taylor deserves time with his family too and it seemed like the perfect opportunity, Sawyer was more than happy to take over, and so everyone is happy" I say.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you" Christian says staring at me with such heat in his eyes that my stomach twists and I feel the familiar longing for him between my legs. I smile at him.

"You may have mentioned it occasionally" I add with a smirk, "Are you going to eat this food I organised?" I add gesturing to the table.

After our picnic, we dispose of all the mess and Christian smiles at me. "Shall we go for a walk around the park?" he suggests and he holds out his hand to me. I don't hesitate to take his hand and he leads me away.

The afternoon is lovely, we walk, talk and after we have had enough of Central Park we even do some touristy things, including going to the top of the Empire State building, it all feels so normal, ok we have Sawyer tailing us but I love times like this just me and Christian, I feel just like a normal woman out with her husband, rather than a billionaires wife living in a protective bubble, I look at Christian who smiles and kisses me gently on the lips.

We head to the elevator and make our way down, and I sigh contentedly, today has been absolutely perfect. As the doors open I look up and come face to face with someone who I never expected or wanted to see again in my life, I am suddenly terrified and I grip Christian's hand tightly and freeze.

Christian notices my reaction and he wraps his arm around me, his concern evident, "Ana, baby? What's wrong?" he asks.

I shake my head frantically unable to articulate anything. The man frowns at me and then realisation and recognition appear on his face and a sly grin spreads across his lips. Before he can say or do anything, my fight or flight instinct has kicked in and I am firmly going with flight. I yank myself free from Christian's grasp and I run, I need to get away, get somewhere safe, I start to run and I hear shouts and footsteps behind me.

"Ana stop" Christian demands as he eventually catches up with me and grabbing my arm pulls me towards him, "what the hell was all that about, who was he?" he demands panting slightly at the exertion and not to mention the panic which is evident in his eyes.

"Nobody important" I mutter, trying to regain some composure "Please, let's go," I add tugging Christian's arm gently and looking past him hoping that the man hasn't followed us.

Christian wraps his arms around me, "Ana, tell me, you are trembling, that man scared you who is he?"

I shake my head "It doesn't matter, can we please go home" I say practically begging Christian to move with me.

He sighs and nods, "ok, but you will tell me," he says tightly.

"Ok but not here, when we get home, when we are safe," I say.

Christian looks at Sawyer who frowns and looks back scanning the area, "it's ok Mrs Grey he's gone now" Sawyer says gently.

I nod, my heart is beating out of my chest I try and pull myself together and we walk swiftly back to our apartment.

As we are walking, my mind is racing, firstly the fear of seeing him again and then self-recrimination for my reaction, I know I have scared and confused Christian with my behaviour and he will demand I tell him who he is and why I reacted so badly, I know he won't let this go until he knows everything, and knowing that... I dread to think what will happen when I do tell him.

I try to pull myself together and stop the irrational thoughts now bombarding me, reminding me of the memories of that man, I think quickly, my mind is racing, I need to buy myself some time somehow, as we reach the apartment, I realise who I need to talk to - I want my dad, Ray's calm sensible and loving demeanour is what I need at this moment, not Christian's guaranteed overreaction, and I also know he will advise me what to do.

As we reach the door Christian relaxes slightly and I take my opportunity, I wrench my hand out of his grasp and run to towards the elevator slamming my hand on the button I get in and watch as the doors close on Christian and Sawyers astonished faces. I know I am behaving like a crazy person but the fear is just that big when it comes to…him.

I tap in the number for our apartment and wait to bring my breathing under control. I don't have long to do what I need to do, I need to talk to my dad before Christian arrives and demands I tell him what is going on and then it will be over reaction central, I find that slightly ironic as the reaction I have had can't be described as measured. The doors open and I run into our apartment and throw myself into our bathroom and lock the door, I sink to the floor and reach for my phone, and I dial and wait.

"Hello" comes the disembodied voice of my beloved stepfather, tears of relief start to pour down my cheeks at the sound of his calm voice and I immediately feel safe.

"Daddy" I sob trembling from head to foot, I start to feel nauseous and so I try and take a deep breath.

"Annie, is that you, Annie what's wrong, has Christian hurt you?" I hear the worry in father's voice and I immediately feel guilty.

"No, nothing like that, daddy ... I saw him today, I'm in New York and I saw him, he was here and he saw me after all these years, and he recognised me, it was him daddy... it was Stephen" I start sobbing again.

I hear Ray curse quietly under his breath and then he speaks to me, his voice firm. "Annie, listen to me, did Christian see your reaction when you saw him, did he see how frightened you were, was he with you?"

"Yes," I say in a small voice.

I hear my stepfather sigh, "Then you don't have any choice Annie, he will be worried and he will want to know what is going on, I can tell you are clearly upset just by your voice so I can just imagine what your reaction was when you saw him, if he saw you react badly to seeing that... man, then he will want to know why and he will want to know who he is."

I nod even though I know Ray can't see me, "but..." I argue.

"No Annie, you need to tell Christian, you have to, I know you don't want him to know what happened back then, but you have got to tell him about this, he has the money and resources to keep you safe, I did my best, I taught you to shoot and I taught you basic self-defence but he can do so much more" Ray says, and deep down I know he's right, but I'm just afraid of what Christian will do.

I decide to voice those concerns, "I can't, if I tell him everything he... he'll do something stupid, I can't lose him, he's my life, and what about the children, if I tell him everything he'll want to kill him" I lower my voice as I hear Christian outside the bathroom door.

"Daddy, I'm pregnant again, I need Christian now more than ever, and I can't risk him losing it" I stop and take another shuddering breath.

"Annie, listen to me, sweetheart, you've got to tell him, I'm certain more happened to you than you ever told me about but I am not going to pry but you need to tell Christian and tell him everything so he can protect you from him, I am going to phone him now and tell him to listen to you and not overreact" Ray says decisively.

"Daddy please" I beg, I know my dad is right, but I am scared of just how far Christian is going to overreact when I do confess why I was so afraid of that man, Ray is right I didn't tell him everything, nobody knows full extent of what he did or tried to do to me.

"Listen to me Annie, I am going to call Christian and talk to him and get him to promise me not to overreact ok, then I am going to tell him you are going to tell him everything, I will ring back in a couple of hours and if you haven't told him, Annie... well, I will" I hear the line go dead then almost immediately I hear Christian's phone. I manoeuvre myself to the door and pressing my ear to the door I listen.

"Grey" I hear Christian snap, I close my eyes he is agitated and obviously frantic at my out of character behaviour.

"Hello Ray, this isn't a good time, I... what!?... I see... no of course not... yes she is, of course, I am thrilled ... I see ... I just want to know Ray, she looked petrified when she laid eyes on that man, who is he?... I see ... well she'd better do... ok I won't ... you have my word... yes... no matter what she tells me... I promise you ... I understand... thank you Ray I appreciate that, goodbye Ray."

I hear Christian hang up, so I slowly I stand up and with trembling fingers I reach for the lock on the door, I open it and Christians head whips toward me, he drops his phone on the floor and strides towards me his arms open, I run into them and he holds me tightly.

"Talk to me Ana, please, and I promise I won't overreact or do anything stupid," he says.

He leads me to the sitting room, "Where's Luke?" I ask.

Christian frowns, "Outside why?"

"I want him to hear this, he is my close protection, he needs to know what he is facing should he try anything" I stop as Christians face hardens and his eyes turn to flint.

"Sawyer" he bellows and the door almost immediately opens.

"Sir?" Sawyer says as he pokes his head around the door, he looks at me and concern fills his face, god do I look that bad?

"Ana is going to tell me about that man and she wants you to be present," Christian says sharply.

Sawyer nods and shuts the door standing beside it.

"Sit down please Luke" I say, I take a shot look at Christian, he doesn't approve of me calling Sawyer by his first name but I have never taken any notice, this man is here to protect me with his life and the least I can do is call him by his first name.

Sawyer sits down on the edge of an armchair in the corner of the room; Christian turns to me and grasps my hand.

"Talk to me, please baby, what upset you so much?" he asks.

I take a deep breath, the tears have stopped and I look at Christian's concerned face I know I have to tell him.

"Number 3," I say shakily.

"What?" Christian replies looking confused.

I swallow hard and keeping my eyes fixed on Christian's I begin to speak.

"Husband number 3, Stephen Morton," I blurt out.

I pause and the anxiety fills me once more, and so I take a deep breath and I try and calm down before I continue to explain.

"That man I saw, he… it was Stephen Morton and he was my mom's ex-husband, the one we lived with when she left Ray when I went with her to live in Texas" I stop speaking, I am shaking as the memories which I have spent years blocking out of my mind come flooding back.

Christian pulls me to him, "What did he do to you Ana?" he asks me gently.

I shake my head, "Not me, mom, he hurt my mom," I start crying again, I know that I am not telling the whole truth and unfortunately so does Christian.

"Ana, I heard you talking to Ray on the telephone; I was listening to your conversation. Why would I lose it and kill him if it was your mother he hurt? Nothing against Carla, but you are the one I love. He did something to you and I want to know what it was, now, are you going to tell me or I do I have to call Carla and get it out of her?"

I cling to him, "No please don't, I'll tell you but you have to promise me you won't overreact, I couldn't bear it if you did something, you don't know what he's like he's... twisted, plus he would tell you things about me, things which could make you..." I stop I don't even want to go there I close my eyes.

When I open them again, Christian is staring at me incredulously, "Ana, do you seriously think I would leave you on the word of your mother's ex-husband? Do you think that little of me?" My heart sinks, he is hurt and that is the last thing I wanted.

I shake my head fervently, "No of course not; you see he is coming between us already, he does this without even being here". I try and pull away from him as I am getting agitated again, but Christian holds on to me to prevent me from removing myself from his side. Then I hear Sawyer cough, and I look up at him.

"Mrs Grey, excuse me, but you need to tell us, we can inform Welch and have him followed so he doesn't come anywhere near you, but to adequately protect you, we need to know what this man is capable of," he says kindly.

I nod my head, I know he is right, I know I have to tell Christian everything; I have to tell him what he did to my mother and what he did to me, I stand up and start pacing around the room. This is so hard as I didn't ever expect to see him again. My emotions and thought patterns are scrambled as it is, with the pregnancy hormones flowing through me; I pause my line of thought and unconsciously caress my stomach.

Christian notices this immediately and I see the fear in his eyes.

"Ana are you ok?" he says anxiously, I nod and I seem him visibly calm down a little. "Ana tell me, it's not good for you to be this upset, not in your condition, you need to tell me so I can take care of it."

He pauses and places his hand on my stomach and caresses it gently.

"Ok" I say in a small voice, suddenly realising that I have to do this it's not only me, I need to protect my family from that man.

The thought of Stephen Morton getting near my children suddenly brings clarity to everything and I look up at Christian, I take a deep breath and in a stronger more determined voice, I add, "I'll tell you everything".

Christian looks relieved at this and I turn towards him and then I glance at Sawyer, my loyal bodyguard who is stoically trying not to look worried. I feel awful that I have caused all this trouble, but when I laid eyes on... him; I panicked, I overreacted and was transported back to being the 14-year-old who was stuck in a toxic dangerous situation. Christian shuffles closer and wraps his arms around me and encourages me to lean back on to him.

"Take your time, and tell me however you want to," Christian says reassuringly.

I nod and I start to relax, I close my eyes and I begin to talk.

"Mom met Steve... husband number 3 and left Ray for him; they hadn't been getting on for a while, they had drifted apart and Steve turned her head. He was everything that Ray wasn't but I didn't like him, he always set off warnings in me... the same sort of warnings that I got with Jack," I feel Christian stiffen slightly at that but I ignore it and carry on.

"Mom and Ray divorced and Steve got a job in Texas and persuaded mom to move there, but he wasn't happy when I went with them. He assumed Ray was my real dad because my surname was Steele and he thought I would stay behind in Montesano with him. He didn't want a teenager hanging around, and to be honest with you, I didn't really want to go to Texas but I felt I had to; someone had to take care of mom. She was head over heels in love with him and... well, you know my mom. She has always been a bit dizzy, not a lot of common sense there... bless her," I stop speaking and swallow hard, and then I start smiling suddenly, as I think about my mom.

"Anyway, we went and as soon as we got to Texas, Steve started showing his true colours. I discovered, quite by accident, that he was a drug dealer. This was why he always seemed to have a lot of money to splash around. He bought my mom and he tried to buy me but I didn't fall for it, I have never been one for material stuff and money just doesn't interest me". I hear Christian stifle a small snort of laughter at that comment.

"I know that baby, go on..." he says.

"As I say, I found out he was a drug dealer. I followed him once and saw what he was doing, he also took drugs and he drank... heavily. I'd always known he liked to drink, the red flags were all there, but my mom just closed her eyes to them until it was too late. I tried to tell her, but she said I must be mistaken because he wasn't like that. Then he started cheating on mom as well, I came home from school early once – I was sick, and I caught him with a woman who wasn't my mom, they were both naked and well, it was obvious what they were doing, that was when he started..." I pause and shake my head.

"Go on baby you are doing so well, tell me what he did," Christian urges.

"He said it wasn't what it looked like; even though they were both naked and he was on top of her on the living room floor, he tried to be nice to start with but I didn't believe him, so he hit me and he got me by the throat up against the door, and he told me if I breathed a word to my mom he'd make me sorry." I pause and I feel Christian's grip on me tighten.

I look up and see a muscle in his jaw twitching. He is trying to control his temper at what he just heard.

"Then he lost his job, and that's when it all went downhill. He started drinking really heavily, even worse than before and he'd come home drunk, and he hit my mom a few times, I think he was taking drugs as well. I tried to talk to her, tell her – make her see sense, but he was always so sorry and loving when he wasn't drunk that she forgave him. I caught him again with another woman and I told him I was going to tell my mom, so he broke my arm and three ribs."

I feel Christian stiffen again and I can hear his breathing getting more rapid and nosier with anger he is clearly feeling and so I stop speaking.

"If you are getting angry I will stop, I haven't told you the worst yet and you are already starting to lose it" I say firmly.

"I'm sorry baby, go on," he says in a choked voice.

I feel him loosen his grip on me as he fights to control himself, and I take a deep breath.

"I said I fell down the stairs, mom believed it as... well, you know how clumsy I am. He said he was so sorry, and he said he was scared that he would lose my mom and he told me that he was sorry he lost his temper and that he didn't mean it. He said everything that had happened would be our little secret and he said that everything would be fine. He said he would stop seeing other women and to his credit, he did, for a while. I thought things were going to get better, but I was wrong" I pause again.

This is the part that not even Ray knows about, I knew I couldn't tell him after the way he reacted when I told him about the physical abuse, this is the part I have kept to myself for so many years.

"I started seeing Bradley from school, we were just friends but I liked him and he liked me but it was innocent. We were both shy and then one day Bradley made a move and he kissed me." I feel Christian stiffen again and this time I want to roll my eyes at him.

I ignore his reaction and continue. "Then one night… Stephen came home, he had been drinking and he caught us making out and he threw Bradley out, and he told him never to come back. I was mortified, but when he came back from throwing him out he smiled at me and he came right up to me and… he then he told me how horny it had made him seeing me kissing Bradley and... that... he... he wanted me."

Christian leaps to his feet unable to control himself any longer, his hands raking through his hair.

"Christian, please!" I reach for him, and grasping his hand tightly I try and bring him back to me.

"Christian, remember that I was a virgin when you met me" I say desperately, and then I blush furiously as I see Sawyer shift uncomfortably in his seat, but it has the desired effect as Christian sighs and sits down again.

"I'm sorry baby, go on, you are doing so well," he says.

He wraps his arms around me tightly again and he buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply, and I can tell that he is trying so hard to control his anger and to not overreact to information, which anyone would overreact to and I love him so much at this moment for it. I place my hands over his and I continue.

"He started making sexual advances towards me, saying what he wanted to do to me, he knew I was a virgin and he said he liked virgins, he said that's all I had going for me as I didn't have any other assets. He said I was fat and ugly, and he had said that a few times to me and he told me that I was lucky and I should be thankful that he was showing an interest in me as nobody else would. He tried to touch me a few times, so I tried to keep out of his way. I went to visit Ray and he saw something was wrong and so in the end I told him about the physical abuse, but I didn't tell him everything. Even from what I did tell him he wanted to come down to Texas, but he would have done something stupid, so I begged him not to. I told him I needed him and that I didn't want him to go to prison for killing Stephen.

Ray said I had to get away, I wanted to but I told him I had to plan it and do it properly and we also had to save the money up for me to leave, so while I was with him he taught me self-defence, he had taught me some before and he just expanded on it, and he also refreshed my knowledge of firearms – Steve kept a gun, and I knew where it was and so if the worst came to the worst, I wanted to know well... you know..."

I stop and the silence is closing in on me, Sawyer is staring at me and Christian is sitting stiffly, the tension coming from him in waves. He hates guns and always has done, but I have always been comfortable around them and we so have always agreed to differ on our views.

"I went back to Texas, and mom was a mess because he'd used her as a punching bag while I had been gone, and I told her what he had done to me, physically, I told her how he had broken my arm and ribs. She started to realise I was right about him and that she needed to get away."

I lick my lips as my mouth is getting dry and Christian notices this and he immediately stands up and goes to fetch me a bottle of water. When he returns I take it gratefully, and after taking a long drink I take another deep breath.

"She came to her senses and started saving money, squirrelling it away, she wanted to get me out of there first and then she said she'd leave. I told her Ray knew and wanted to help, she rang him and she broke down on the phone to him and told him everything. It was horrific what Stephen had done to her, Ray offered to help her get away as well but she refused, I think she felt bad after the way she had left him. I think she realised she still loved him deep down, and she didn't want to be beholding to him." I pause and shake my head as the memories threaten to overwhelm me and I take another drink of my water.

"Steve came back that night when I was home, he was drunk, mom had gone out she had a job as a waitress at a roadhouse and so it was just me and him, he came on to me, telling me how much he had missed me. I told him to leave me alone. When I did that he got angry, he told me again I was fat and nobody else would ever want me or love me, and he said I was lucky that he wanted me and that nobody in their right minds would look twice at a girl like me. He said he was doing me a favour by showing an interest in me. He tried to touch me so I got up and ran into my room and locked the door."

"I phoned Ray and immediately he wired some money down into my bank account. I told mom Steve had tried to hit me again and that Ray had sent some money to get me out, and it was at that point she gave me all the money she had been saving, so that along with what Ray had sent me, I had enough to get myself away, but I knew it would mean leaving my mom there for longer as she had given me everything she had to get me away first."

I start to cry as I remember the guilt I felt at abandoning my mother.

"Don't cry baby" Christian says quietly, and I feel him kiss my head lovingly.

"I had managed to book myself on to a flight the next evening and Ray was going to meet me at SeaTac. The next day was the worst, he found out I was going, mom had gone to work again, she had to and we had said our goodbyes as she knew I'd be gone when she got home, she had to go to work because she needed to work even more now that she had given me everything, plus we didn't want to arouse his suspicions.

Anyway, I was in my room getting my final bits together, when he came in and caught me and realised what I was doing. He threw me on the bed, he locked the door and undressed and started masturbating, he said I was going to give him what he wanted before I went. I tried to stay calm and I remembered the self-defence that Ray had taught me so I pretended I was going cooperate, he was so pleased. He had me pinned to the bed and he started touching me, but I... I did to him the same as I did to Jack, I got away and grabbed my bag and hit him over the head with it, and let myself out, I ran to a neighbour and she let me in and hid me, she had heard things and had put two and two together. She told me she thought he had done more than punch my mother while I was away, as she had heard her screaming and she had called the cops, but he had made them believe nothing was wrong and that he was watching a horror film, and those were the screams the neighbour had heard and he apologised for having it too loud".

I shake my head at that, and the fact the cops believed him.

I stop and look up at Christian who has that damned impassive look on his face, but I can feel the rage coming off him in waves.

"After I heard that, I wanted to go back as I didn't want to leave her there, but my neighbour assured me she would take care of my mom and let her know she had a safe place for her to run to. He came to find me, he banged on the door and she spoke to him. He asked if she had seen me and she said that she hadn't seen me and that she would let him know straight away if she did. She hid me in her home and then drove me to the airport, I hid in the back of her car down on the floor in the back with a blanket over me, and thanks to her I got away. I called mom when I was safe with Ray",

"What was that woman's name?" Christian asks mildly.

I smile, "Angie" I reply.

"I didn't know her surname I just knew her as Angie," I say.

Christian nods and I have a feeling he will be tracking this woman down and rewarding her for helping me escape. I refocus on my story and tell the final part.

"My mom got the brunt of his anger that night when she got home from work, Ray sent her as much as he could and a couple of months later she managed to finally get away herself. She never pressed any charges against him in return for a quick divorce, then she went to Vegas, met Bob, who looked after her, I was with Ray and the rest you know. But just for the record, you are the first person I have told. Mom and Ray know bits but they don't know the full extent of what happened and I want to keep it that way, neither of them know anything about the sexual abuse."

I stop speaking, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I look at Christian, he is raking his hands through his hair, and then he pulls me to him and kisses me.

"God you are so brave," he whispers.

I look at Sawyer, "now you know what you are dealing with, and I assure you there is no depths he won't sink to, I hate him."

As I say that, the tears start to form in my eyes again.

"Don't worry Mrs Grey we won't let him hurt you" Sawyer stands and pulls out his phone and makes a call, "T I think you need to come back, we have a situation" he says a moment later.

"No, please don't disturb them" I protest.

Luke shakes his head adamantly, "No Mrs Grey, Taylor will want to help and he needs to be briefed on this."

Sawyer then looks at Christian for orders on what to do next.

"Thank you Luke, when Taylor arrives inform me and we will brief him together and in the meantime inform Welch, I'm staying with Ana."

He pulls me into his lap and I cling to him.

Sawyer leaves and Christian turns to me, "I won't let him hurt you again" he says firmly and he plants a kiss on my head.

I nod, "Thank you, he did other things but it was all much of the same, lots of mental abuse and physical abuse... and he tried sexual abuse a few times but I always locked myself in my bedroom out of the way, but what I have told you is basically the jist of it.

Christian holds me close and rocks me gently like a small child, "He won't hurt you again" he says again, and this time it is with a grim finality.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

The next morning I awaken to find Christian sitting beside me with a mug of tea in his hand, and he offers it to me with a cautious smile. I return the smile and drink it eagerly.

"Mmm" I moan as I close my eyes after taking a gulp; Christian knows exactly how I like it.

I am determined not to talk or even think about everything that happened last night, I'm not going to bring it up, unless Christian does. I just want to forget I ever saw that man and focus on positive things now, and at the forefront of my mind is to enjoy the surprise I have planned for today.

"Good morning baby, what would you like to do today?" he asks, "it's our last day before we head to the airport to go home; so whatever you want to do, it's yours," he adds with an emphatic swipe of his hand.

"Well, actually, I have planned a surprise for you today," I say with a grin.

I can't believe I have actually managed to pull this off as he really has no idea at all what we are doing today and I see the shock appearing on his face as I say that.

"Really, and what would that be?" he asks as he raises his eyebrows.

I lean over and reach for my purse and pull out our passports, and show them to Christian, he looks at them and then at me questioningly.

"What are you up to?" he says.

I smile smugly at him, "You are not the only one who can plan surprises Christian; before we left Seattle, I arranged for us not to stay here in New York, but to fly on to the Caribbean for the rest of the time we are away, and to stay a little longer than was originally planned. I spoke to Andrea and Ros and they helped me reorganise your workload to accommodate the time away and Stephan should be waiting for us at the airport this morning," I say with a distinct sense of triumph that I have managed to achieve this.

"I see, sneaky aren't you?" Christian says with a grin as he crawls towards me, he lifts the mug from my hands and lowers himself down on top of me, and I can feel his arousal against me and it makes me want him desperately.

"Well, before we implement your plans for today I have a few of my own that I want to indulge in," he says.

I reach down and brazenly cup his penis and stoke it, as I do so he takes in a sharp breath.

"That's fine by me," I say and I watch as Christian closes his eyes and thrusts shamelessly into my hand.

After a number of very satisfying orgasms, I get up and go to the shower on rather shaky legs and Christian joins me. I can't help but notice he is very quiet, almost withdrawn now as we wash each other, and he is making no further sexual overtures towards me. I know we have just made love... twice, but that doesn't normally prevent him from wanting more, and he now seems to have something on his mind. Sometimes I can't keep up with his monumental mood swings.

"Are you ok?" I ask gently, as I carefully run my hands over his chest, once again marvelling how he not only tolerates but revels in my touch.

He smiles at me, "I'm sorry baby, I'm fine but I was just thinking about what you told me last night, Ana you were so brave, you were what?... 14/15 years old and had to go through that, you are amazing... and then..." he stops and stares at me, and starts stroking my arms anxiously.

"With all those bad memories you had, I could have scared you and traumatised you for life, yet you agreed to be my sub... not that we got very far with that," he says as he wraps his arms around me.

I think carefully, it's something which has always made me wonder in a way, with my experiences and memories of violence and abuse, why I was so willing to give myself to Christian, when I had purposely shied away from other men who made it clear they wanted me. I look up at him and all the thoughts and feelings I have always had about him come tumbling out of my mouth.

"Christian, I felt something the first time I met you, it was some kind of connection. It was like an electric charge went through me when we touched when you took my hand and picked me up after I fell into your office, and again when we shook hands and you helped me on with my coat and when I looked into your eyes, I can't explain what it was, I don't even know what it was, all I can describe it is... I felt _something. _You did something to me and by the time you took me to Escala in Charlie Tango I was ready to give myself to you. I won't lie, you intimidated me and I was a little afraid of you, but, something was there that made me want to stay, something instinctual that drew me to you. The only time I did get flashbacks and became really afraid was when..." I stop and shake my head.

"When you left me" he finishes a bleak look appearing in his eyes, "after I hit you with the belt" he adds and I nod, but don't say anything. Christian squeezes me to him tightly and we stand in silence under the gushing water.

Christian pulls me closer as though he is afraid I am going to disappear again if he lets me go and he speaks again.

"Then there are all the other appalling ways I have behaved towards you at times since you have been with me" he stops and shakes his head, I see the shame and self-recrimination rapidly evolving into self-loathing and I grip him to me tightly trying to bring him back to me.

Eventually, he speaks again, "Since you came into my life you have helped me exorcise my demons when all the while you had plenty of your own and despite everything I have done, you have never lost your faith in me," he says.

I shake my head, "My memories and experiences were nothing compared to what you went through, remember you were just a small helpless toddler at the complete mercy of the adults who were supposed to take care of you, whereas I was a teenager and able to help myself to certain degree. I managed to protect myself and get out; you didn't have that as you were just too young."

I watch as Christian thinks about that and then nods again. Then he reaches for me and stares at me, and when he speaks it's in the no-nonsense CEO tone he uses when he is taking control.

"You were petrified yesterday when you saw him, I have never seen you so hysterical, you just don't behave like that normally, so I had no idea what to do for the best. I do now though, now I know everything I will make sure he never hurts you again Ana, you have my promise on that. Welch is digging up everything he can on him so we can keep tabs on him, and we have put in place restraining orders in case he does try anything, I want you to know you are safe."

I smile, and touch his chest, running my finger over his heart I trace the mass of small scars and then I lean down and press a kiss to each one. Christian is doing what he always does, he is taking control and protecting me, I look up at him and the love in his eyes almost takes my breath away he has his arms secured tightly around me and leans down and kisses my head.

I want to lighten the atmosphere between us, so I gently push away from him and pat his arm.

"Come on I want to get to the Caribbean I have never been there," I say. Christian grins at me and we finish off in the shower before going to get dressed.

I show Christian the resort I picked and he looks impressed, he looks at me carefully, I can see he wants to ask something so I wait for him to speak.

"Why did you do all this baby?" he asks after a moment of silence.

I shrug, "It's our anniversary," I say with a grin.

Christian frowns and shakes his head, "No it's not, we got married in August" he retorts.

I laugh at that and shake my head; "It's our anniversary" I insist, "the anniversary of the day I fell into your office... the day we first met," I say quietly.

Christian quickly looks up at the calendar and smiles.

"So it is, the first day I started to live," he says and he reaches for me and gently runs his hand through my hair. I lean my head into his hand and close my eyes and the next thing I know I feel his lips gently brush mine.

**oooOOOooo**

We land in the Caribbean and as we leave the confines of the air-conditioned plane the warmth hits us. We climb into a waiting car which had been organised for us and Sawyer drives us to the resort. Taylor has gone back to be with Gail and Sophie and to resume his well-earned break. I felt guilty that he had broken into that to return and be briefed about the events which happened in New York. He tried to reassure me that I hadn't ruined his break and his time with Gail and that she understood that he needed to be on the ground and involved with the briefings after my revelations about Stephen and what he was capable of.

When we arrive at the hotel we are welcomed by the manager who falls over himself to assist us, he is clearly delighted to have _the_ Christian Grey in his hotel. He shows us to our suite personally and he behaves quite irritatingly over solicitous. Eventually after much simpering and hand-wringing and assuring us repeatedly of his best intentions he seems to finally take the hint that he can go and leaves us alone.

"Thank god for that" I mutter as the door to the suite finally closes, Christian snorts and looks around the room.

"This is wonderful, baby," he says as he takes everything in.

I couldn't agree more with him, it is really nice, much nicer than I was anticipating but not over the top. I wander over to the balcony and stare out over the beautiful view of the beach and the sea, we have our own private section of beach and it looks so peaceful and inviting. Christian comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"So Mrs Grey now you have me here what are you going to do with me?" he asks, kissing my neck sensuously and he pulls me back against him and I feel the evidence of what he wants to do.

"I'd like to go out there on to the beach, it's our own private beach, nobody but us" I turn in his arms, "Just you and me," I add with more than a hint of what I would like to do out there.

Christian grins at me and shakes his head, "I've said it before and I'll say it again, I have created a monster, you are insatiable!"

He presses himself against me and my eyebrows rise at his words and I reach down between us and touch him. He moans and thrusts his hips towards me, pushing himself into my hand.

"I'm insatiable? I think that's a bit rich coming from you!" I retort.

Moments later we are on the bed and I am beneath him, and we didn't get to the beach that first afternoon.

**oooOOOooo**

We have a wonderful time in the Caribbean, this was just what we needed, just the two of us recharging our batteries. I phone home a few times and Grace assures me all is well, the children are fine and having the time of their lives, and we speak to them via Skype on a couple of occasions.

I have enjoyed myself so much and relaxed so much that I have almost forgotten the incident in New York with Stephen Morton, that is until the last night. I am busy packing and I'm feeling slightly sad as we are heading home in the morning. Christian is lounging on the bed with his laptop just keeping track of things at GEH when his phone rings. He glances at it and then answers in his usual abrupt manner.

"Grey" he snaps in his most clipped tone.

Almost immediately he is sitting bolt upright and he looks at me which immediately sets me on full alert.

"When? ... Yes, 24/7... we are going home tomorrow; Stephan should be arriving first thing in the morning...Taylor?...Is he?... yes... right... I'll tell her, thank you" he kills the call and pushes his phone back into his pocket; he looks at me I can see he is working out something in his mind. He holds his arms open and I don't hesitate to walk towards him, he pulls me down on to his lap.

"Ana, that was Welch, Morton has been seen in Seattle, he has been scoping out Grey Publishing, and Grey House... he was also seen near Escala."

He is watching me closely as he tells me this.

"The children" I gasp, suddenly terrified again.

Christian runs his hand up and down my back, "It's ok baby, listen to me, the children are safe they are with my mother and the team are fully aware of this development. Ryan is on full alert, Prescott is on close protection for the children, my parents have been informed and are on full alert and Taylor is on his way back there as we speak. Welch has Morton under surveillance, so he can't get anywhere near us; I promise you, you are safe baby, and so are the children, ok?"

I nod, but instinctively I know that Christian isn't telling me something, protection and security has just quadrupled for our children and yet all we have is Sawyer. I know that he is more than capable of taking care of us, but something doesn't seem to fit, as I open my mouth to say something there is a knock at the door, so I quickly swallow my words as Christian calls for whoever it is to come in.

"Yes" Christian calls.

Sawyer pokes his head around the door; "Sir, Tony Wiseman and Patrick Dawes will be here in the morning for the added security."

As I listen I realise that explains everything, I watch as Christian acknowledges Luke with his usual briskness.

"Thank you Sawyer" he says, Luke nods and goes to leave.

"Luke?" I call.

Sawyer freezes and then and looks at me "yes Ma'am" he says.

"Is this all because of Stephen?" I ask in a small voice.

Sawyer glances at Christian, before he answers me, "Yes Ma'am" he says.

"Will that be all?" he adds looking at Christian once more.

Christian nods and dismisses him, he folds me into his arms, I realise immediately he has more to tell me.

"Welch has discovered he has been following you for a while, he got Barney to hack into his PC and he found some information which suggests he has been following you since before we married and you started appearing in the public eye".

I am horrified at this revelation, "Oh my god, it's Jack Hyde all over again" and with that information and my already out of control pregnancy hormones, I start to cry.

Christian pulls me closer to him, "Don't worry baby, we will find out what he wants and I will crush him he won't hurt you or our children, he places his hand protectively on my stomach as he says this.

**oooOOOooo**

We arrive back in Seattle complete with the added security, after being introduced to the two new operatives this morning, I felt slightly intimidated by the two muscular hulks that stood with Luke. They both have military backgrounds and like Luke and Taylor they have that 'look' about them and the way they hold themselves screams military discipline.

When we arrive we are greeted by a stern looking Taylor, but he gives me a reassuring smile when he greets me. Christian disappears into his study and I go in search of Grace. She had brought the children back home today as our home security is far superior to that of Grace and Carricks home. It's late and the children are asleep, I go and watch them sleeping peacefully in their beds, Grace is with me, and she wraps her arm around my shoulders.

"By the way, Christian told me about the baby, congratulations, " she says with a smile.

"Thank you," I say and my hand instinctively moves to my stomach. "Have they been good?" I ask looking down at Phoebe, who at this moment looks like an angel, but it's amazing what sleep can do. Grace smiles and nods.

"They have both been absolutely fine, we kept them busy throughout the day and as a result, they only seemed to miss you both at bedtime. Teddy wanted Christian to read him his story, and Phoebe wanted you a couple of times, but Carrick and I seemed to make good substitutes".

"Thank you for doing this," I say again, "It was just what we needed, a break away from everything, just the two of us" I touch my stomach again "Or should I say the three of us now".

"It was our pleasure" Grace insists "We loved every moment of it; Elliot and Kate came around and brought Ava, and you know what Elliot is like when he and Teddy get together. Kate said it was hard to tell who the actual four-year-old was!"

Carrick appears and I give him a hug, "Thank you, for everything" I say.

"No problem, I am going to go to bed now and then we will head home in the morning," Carrick says he kisses Grace's cheek and moves away.

"Good night Carrick", I say as he leaves. I look at Grace and she tries to stifle a yawn.

"Go to bed Grace", I say firmly, she smiles and then kisses my cheek.

"You know I think I will, goodnight Ana dear", she says and she leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I go downstairs and I decide to call my mother, I pick up my phone and then hesitate, I look at my watch, it's late but this is important. Our relationship is much better now, we still have times where she exasperates me, where she still makes me feel like second best and where I question whether or not I was burden to her, but generally speaking, since I married Christian our relationship has improved.

I remember the time shortly after I had Teddy when everything came to a head; we'd had a massive showdown because, once again she had been a no-show for something important in my life and I had just snapped. Whereas I had just accepted and made excuses for her less than exemplary maternal behaviour in the past, now I had a child of my own and my own maternal instincts were establishing themselves, I had finally realised that it just wasn't acceptable. I had realised that I would never behave towards Teddy how my mother had continually behaved towards me.

It had all been pretty horrific and messy, I'd ended up slamming the phone down on her and telling her I wanted nothing more to do with her. It had been Christian who had organised a reunion, unbeknown to me he had taken it upon himself to fly out to Georgia and bring my mother back with him to Seattle. He had then arranged for her to see John and he had taken me to that session and my mother had had a complete breakdown and she told me everything that had happened to her throughout her life, things which I never knew but explained everything. We talked everything through and eventually she even agreed to continue with the therapy so Christian arranged for her to see John via Skype and I think it really helped her, she still has her moments where she can be cruel where she doesn't think before she speaks and she can still be very selfish but I have accepted that as part of who she is.

I dial her number and wait. Eventually after a few rings I hear my mother's familiar voice.

"Hello," she says.

"Mom," I say.

"Ana are you ok, why are you phoning so late, nothing is wrong is it?" she sounds anxious.

I swallow hard and then take a deep breath, "Mom, I saw him, in New York the other day," I say my voice trembling. There is a momentary silence and then she speaks.

"Yes I know, Ray called me," she says.

The surprise at that statement is quickly replaced with anger, this is what I mean, she knew about what had happened in New York, she knew I was upset and afraid and yet she didn't think to call to see how I was, and to find out how it had affected me seeing him again. I'm sure Ray had probably told her how upset I was when I had called him. I sigh and shake my head.

"It scared me, Mom," I say.

"I'm sure it did darling, but I'm also sure Christian will take care of things," she says flippantly.

I can't believe what I am hearing; she has totally offloaded any responsibility on to Christian.

"Mom don't you care? He is looking for me, don't you care he has been stalking me?" I stop talking before I start to lose it.

"Of course I care, Ana, I'm your mother, but what do you expect me to do? I am here in Georgia and you are with Christian who is more than capable of taking care of you" I stare at the phone.

"Don't you remember what he did to you?" I spit.

"Yes I do Ana, and I try to forget it but I can't, I made some bad decisions, I put you in danger and I'm sorry for that, I can't tell you how sorry I am; but you have to remember this was over 10 years ago, now I thought he was out of our lives for good, but then you went and married..." she stops and there is a brief silence before she speaks again, "Look its late I have to go" she says.

"Yes, that is probably for the best, goodnight mom," I say haughtily and I hang up as the tears start streaming down my face. Oh my god, my mother blames me for his reappearance, she almost said it before she stopped herself, 'but then you married' I'm sure she was going to say you married a billionaire and got the public notoriety of doing that, and she is right, Christian was a notoriously private person and was never seen with anyone in public and then suddenly I came into his life and about five minutes after we met we were married, my humble background was the immediate focus for the media who splashed it all over the papers. I throw my phone down and I start to sob.

"Ana? Ana baby what's wrong?" Christian's anxious voice comes to me and I turn to see him striding towards me.

"Oh Christian" I gasp and I fall into his arms and weep uncontrollably. I tell him about my conversation with my mother and tell him what she said; he rocks me gently but doesn't say a word.

The next morning we are awakened by two whirlwinds leaping on us, I open my eyes to see Teddy and Phoebe's smiling faces, staring down at us, Ted is bouncing up and down on Christian trying to get him to wake up, I know he is awake, there is no way he wouldn't be considering what Teddy is doing to him but I can see him smiling, he is teasing Teddy and he is pretending he is still asleep.

"Wake up daddy!" Ted shouts as he pounds Christians back with his small fists.

Suddenly Christian lurches to his side and lets out a roar which makes Teddy jump with surprise and then squeal with delight and as Teddy gets even more hyped up Christian reaches out and grabs him tickling him mercilessly. Ted shrieks with laughter and he is squirming so violently he nearly knocks Phoebe off the bed.

"Daddy!" Ted says sternly, I can't help but laugh as the way he said that sounded so like his father.

Christian who has now ceased his tickling looks at Phoebe and she cautiously moves towards him, Ted watches as Christian pulls her to him and hugs her tightly, and presses a small kiss on her forehead.

"Hello princess how are you, were you a good girl for Grandma and Granddad?" he asks.

Phoebe nods and smiles widely.

"I was a good boy" Ted shouts wanting to be a part of this conversation.

Christian laughs loudly and pulls Teddy towards him "I should think so too" he says.

There is a knock at the door and Grace appears, "come on you two, let mommy and daddy get up, shall we have some pancakes for breakfast?"

"PANCAKES!" Teddy squeals and leaps off the bed towards Grace. Phoebe struggles to clamber off and Christian gently lowers her to the floor and she also runs off without a backward glance.

"Nice to see that they think pancakes are more important," Christian says wryly as he sits up.

We quickly shower and get dressed and then we head down to the kitchen, we see Grace helping Gail with the pancakes while being watched by two eager faces.

Good morning Mr Grey, Mrs Grey what would you like for breakfast? "Gail asks smiling at us.

I look at her, and ignoring her question completely I rush to apologise for ruining her break away with Taylor.

"Gail I am so sorry I spoilt your break" I say.

Gail smiles and waves her hand dismissively "Think nothing of it; actually, we had seen everything we wanted to in New York and we were ready to leave".

I nod, I do feel slightly better to hear that, then a sudden thought occurs to me and I look around.

"Where's Sophie?" I ask.

"When we landed back in Seattle Jason took her back to her mother on route back here," Gail says. "Now what can I get you both?" she adds.

After breakfast, Grace and Carrick leave for home, and after many hugs and kisses and words of thanks they finally manage to get away and we watch them drive off. Christian wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me back into the house. I suddenly feel very ill; a wave of nausea overwhelms me and I pull away and run to the nearest bathroom. As I am depositing my breakfast into the toilet I hear Christian coming in behind me, he bends and lifts my hair out of the way and he gently strokes my back with his free hand as I continue to vomit.

"The joys of morning sickness" I gasp as I finally stand up.

Christian frowns at me, "Are you ok now?" he asks.

I nod, and I roll my eyes at him, "Christian, this is the third time I have been through this, I know what to expect".

Christian has decided to work from home today and is not impressed that I have decided that I am going into the office. He glares at me as I gather up all my things, I still feel a little queasy and it must show on my face as he is watching me carefully.

"Ana are you really well enough to be going in to work?" he asks.

I sigh and put my hands on my hips, "Christian, please" I say in an exasperated tone.

"But" he argues.

I hold up my hand to silence him and I watch as he closes his mouth.

"Christian, I am pregnant, not ill and I have done this before – twice. I am capable of going to work, and besides, I have a meeting I have to attend regarding the North West Literary Awards. We have 3 authors nominated and we have things to organise, and I also have a meeting with Boyce. I need to know how his latest novel is coming on as he was struggling the last time I spoke to him".

Christian raises his hands in defeat, "Fine" he says curtly.

I walk over and wrapping my arm around him I press a kiss to head. I know he worries about me, and that worry causes him to be overbearing and over protective at times but I wouldn't have him any other way.

"Just keep Luke close and call me immediately if you need me" he says an then he looks up and pulling my head towards him he kisses me on the lips I return the kiss and it immediately deepens and he pulls me to him, bringing me down on to his lap. Eventually, I pull away and gaze down at him.

"Have fun, I'm sure Ted and Phoebe will keep you on your toes and prevent you from getting too much done," I say with a grin.

I plant another kiss on his cheek and turn and leave, Sawyer is waiting by the door and we head off to the office.

As I arrive I am greeted by Hannah, "Good morning Ana" she says as I breeze in.

"Good morning," I say with a smile, and as I sit down at my desk I glance at my in-tray, it isn't as bad as I expected it to be, but there are still a large number of items in it.

Hannah quickly goes through the schedule for today and I make a start on the pile of papers looking at me from my desk.

I don't look up again until Hannah appears telling me Boyce has arrived, he comes in and we have a very productive meeting where he assures me he has got over his writers block, and that the first draft of the manuscript for his latest novel, will be with me by the end of the week. Lunchtime comes and goes and I attend the meeting about the awards, I am surprised to note that it is nearly 4.30 when my attention is taken by my phone ringing.

"Hello," I say with a smile.

I know it is Christian before I even pick up my phone, as my ringtone '_Your love is king_' which I have only for Christian always alerts me when my husband is calling me.

"Ana, how are you baby?" he says seductively down the phone.

"Very busy" I reply.

"I just thought I'd let you know I am at Grey House, I couldn't get anything done at home, I spent the morning with the children and then after lunch I decided to head over to the office".

"Ok," I say simply.

I had expected that to happen and it doesn't surprise me, he must be busy after taking longer than he anticipated off work, I had arranged everything with Ros and Andrea beforehand when I had planned our surprise trip to the Caribbean but Christian does like to have control over everything.

"Will you be home at the normal time?" I ask.

"I think so" he replies, "How about you?"

"I'm not sure yet," I say, and I glance at my in tray once more which is now significantly emptier.

"I have just about caught up on everything, it wasn't as horrific as I was anticipating but there was still quite a bit to do, and I have a couple of things I need to get done, plus I have a new project I want to make a start on today before I leave".

"Ok baby, I'll see you later then," he says "Don't work too hard" he adds in that voice which offers so much promise, and I feel the familiar pull and clench of my stomach muscles. I smile goofily as I say goodbye and hang up.

The next time I look up it is nearly 6:30 and Sawyer is waiting patiently as I emerge from my office. I immediately launch into a mass of apology.

"I am so sorry, I lost all track of time," I say as I walk towards him. He smiles at me.

"Mr Grey has called me a couple of times, I will let Taylor know we are on our way home" he says.

I groan and check my phone, I had put it on silent so I wasn't disturbed and I find 13 missed calls, 4 emails and 2 texts, I quickly call Christian and he picks up on the first ring.

"Hi" I murmur quietly and wait for the explosion.

"What's happened are you alright? Where have you been and why didn't you answer my calls?" Christian's anxious voice comes over loud and clear.

I take a deep breath and try to pacify my frantic husband, "I'm so sorry, I got carried away with what I was doing, and I put my phone on silent so I wasn't disturbed therefore I didn't hear when you were calling, I'm sorry, but I'm surprised you didn't come and find me."

"I thought about it a few times when you didn't answer" he snaps, "but I called Sawyer and he assured me you were in your office working hard and I didn't want to disturb your work."

I can tell by the tone of his voice he is now hurt that I didn't answer his calls. In that short call, I had detected overwhelming fear and anxiety, then anger and irritation and finally hurt.

"I am on my way home now," I say trying to placate him as we are walking towards the car.

I hang up as we reach the car by which point I think I have just about calmed him down. As we are leaving the parking lot I glance out of the window and go cold as I see a familiar figure hanging around near the entrance to Grey publishing; I didn't notice him before, because I was too busy focussing on my call to Christian.

"Look Luke" I whisper and Sawyer's head whips around to where I am pointing, he slows the car and nods at me.

"I'll tell T, but don't worry Mrs Grey, I won't let him near you," he says confidently, then I hear him informing Taylor about the fact Stephen Morton was lurking outside.

When I arrive at home, Christian is waiting for me, he practically pulls me out of the car and wraps me tightly in his arms. I am momentary stunned by this reaction as I thought I'd managed to calm him down but then I realise that Taylor has probably told him about Morton.

"Hey I'm fine" I assure him as he leads me into the house. Ted and Phoebe charge at me as soon as I come in, and I drop my briefcase on the floor and hug them both tightly. I sit down on the sofa and as I do so Gail appears.

"Dinner in 10?" she asks politely, I smile and nod.

"Thank you, Gail, I'm starving," I say gratefully.

I quickly go and change and return just as Gail is about to dish up.

Christian is very quiet throughout dinner, I glance at him a few times and he just looks at me with that damned maddening impassive expression which doesn't tell me anything but still manages to make me uneasy. The quietness lasts all evening and after we have put the children to bed I can't stand it anymore, I turn to Christian my hands on my hips and my eyebrows raised questioningly.

"Ok spit it out," I say "What's eating at you?"

"I had a phone call today," he mutters quietly, too quietly.

"Oh yes, who from?" I ask, wondering where this is going.

"Morton called me, he rang to ask me if he knew what a little whore I had married, he told me how you came on to him, and then when he turned you down, you ran away and broke your mother's heart. He went on to say it was your behaviour that eventually broke them up, he told me how you'd tried to pleasure him, and he asked me how it felt knowing I had married a cheap trailer trash whore."

I feel lightheaded and I can hear the blood roaring in my ears, I reach out and grasp a chair to stop myself from falling over. I feel sick and the panic inside me that Christian listened to him and believed him is too much for me.

"Did you believe him?" I ask quietly, and the look of shock and disgust I see on Christian's face reassures me a little.

"Of course I didn't believe him, the man is twisted and delusional" Christian snaps. "But that is what makes him dangerous, do not put your phone on silent again, I was beside myself when you didn't reply to my calls."

Everything suddenly becomes crystal clear, and I realise how selfish I had been, Morton had rung Christian and played with his mind and then when he couldn't reach me afterwards, it had set off all his old insecurities. I feel myself relax and I step forward and walk into his arms.

"I am so sorry," I say sincerely as I hold him to me, "I didn't think," I feel Christian's hold on me increase until I can barely breathe.

"When Sawyer informed us you had seen him outside Grey Publishing it nearly finished me completely, Taylor had to stop me from coming to get you".

He stops and buries his nose in my hair. I gently stroke his back soothing him.

"I am so sorry Christian, I won't do it again," I say.

I feel the tension in him gradually ease away. We sit down and I tell him about my day and the exciting new projects I am planning and the work which kept me away from him so long, he listens carefully and looks at me with obvious pride.

"That all sounds brilliant, I hope it all works out, just don't shut me out when you are empire building ok?"

I snuggle close to him, "I won't... I promise," I say.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

_Three months later..._

Three months have passed and things have been quiet, a little too quiet. There have been no more sightings of Steve Morton, and no more calls from him, it's like he has dropped off the face of the earth and you would think as a result of that I would start to relax more, but I haven't, not really, as I am always waiting for him to turn up again.

Christian and I are on our way to the hospital to see Dr Green for my check up and scan, we are both excited as today we will be discovering the sex of our child, Christian grips my hand tightly and he is bristling with excitement and anticipation as we enter the small office.

Everything has been going according to plan and it has been a textbook pregnancy, so far. Dr Green proceeds with the examination. I am proclaimed to be in rude health, my blood pressure is normal and my weight gain is good. Everything looks as it should be and we watch the screen eagerly as she takes measurements and does all the usual checks. I am surprised at how much the baby has grown since the last time we saw it and I wonder idly if we will be able to see today if we are having a boy or a girl.

Finally, she turns to us, "Everything is looking good, now do you want to know the sex of the baby today?" she asks.

We nod enthusiastically and wait with baited breath.

Dr Green peers at the screen and then freezes it pointing at the tiny figure.

"Baby Grey has been very co-operative and has showed me exactly what I need to see." She pauses and smiles at us, "congratulations you are having a little girl," she says kindly.

Christian beams his full 100-megawatt smile and he hugs me tightly, I am thrilled. I had secretly thought it might be a girl, as the pregnancy was so similar to when I was carrying Phoebe, with the same cravings and sickness pattern. But I didn't want to say anything in case I was totally wrong. Dr Green prints off some pictures for us and I watch Christian stare at the photo in his hand. He has also paid for a DVD of the scan which will go with the growing collection of scan DVD's we already have.

As we leave the hospital, Taylor looks up and Christian beams at him.

"Another girl" he says as he opens the car door for me.

"Congratulations Sir" Taylor replies, and then he looks kindly at me, "congratulations Mrs Grey" he adds.

Christian clambers in beside me and Taylor slides into the driving seat. We are both going back to work, and Christian drops me off first, he opens the car door and holds out his hand to me as I clamber out, but before I can let go and move past him he pulls me to him and places his hand on my small bump and kisses me passionately.

"See you later," I say with a grin.

I spot Sawyer waiting for me just inside the doorway of Grey Publishing, and as I walk across the pavement my thoughts are filled with babies. When I reach him he holds open the door for me and I smile at him.

"Thank you," I say and he nods in acknowledgement, I pause and lean closer before whispering 'It's a girl' in his ear.

He returns my smile with one of his own, "Congratulations Mrs Grey" he says politely.

When I reach my office I call Kate and Ray, Christian had said he would call Grace and Carrick, I debate calling my mother as we haven't spoken since that evening, so I decide to be the bigger person and make the call. It suddenly occurs to me that unless Ray has told her, she doesn't even know I am pregnant again, as I didn't get round to mentioning it that night.

I take a deep breath and wait for the call to connect.

"Hello" My heart lurches slightly as I hear the familiar voice of my mom.

"Mom it's me," I say quietly.

"Hello Ana, are you alright?" she asks.

"I am... I just called to let you know... I'm pregnant again and we are having a little girl" I stop and wait for her response to that.

"I wondered when you would tell me," she says in a hurt tone. "I had to find out from Ray when he called me to berate me for that call, the last time we spoke when you told me you saw Steve."

I am shocked, I had told Ray about the call with my mother and how it had ended but never in a million years did I expect him to call my mother about it, that was so out of character for him. Warm thoughts of how much he must love me race through me and before I can stop myself the words are tumbling out of my mouth.

"Well at least he cares about my feelings" I say and then I stop, immediately horrified at my brain-mouth malfunction.

My mother doesn't answer immediately and there is an awkward silence for a few moments and when she does answer her response doesn't reassure me one bit.

"Ana, I care, I love you, I am your mother I have to care, it comes with the job" she insists defensively.

I stare at the phone not quite believing what I am hearing as the way she is talking she makes it sound like a chore rather than a natural unconditional thing.

"I just wish your father was here, he would know what to do, he thought you were beautiful, he held you in his arms... and then he died and I was left on my own with you," I hear her sniff and I roll my eyes, she always does this.

My patience starts to wilt, "Well, I am sorry I ruined your life" I snap and I kill the call without another word.

Tears start to form in my eyes and I brush them away furiously. I throw my phone on the table and grab a pile of papers and set to work. I can't concentrate, and I want to talk to someone about my mother, I consider calling Christian but then I realise I need to talk to someone who knows her as well as I do so I pick up my phone again and I call Ray.

"Hi daddy," I say as he picks up, "Would you like to have lunch with me, I'd like to have a bit of a chat with you, if you don't mind?" I ask and then I wait for his response, almost holding my breath hoping he will agree.

"Sure Annie, is everything ok, this is twice in one day you have called me?" he asks.

"Yes I'm fine… No, not really... well... I spoke to mom" I say.

I hear a deep sigh, "I see" he says after a moment.

Ray doesn't say much but the way he said 'I see' spoke volumes. "Shall I come to your work and fetch you?" he asks.

"If that's good for you, but I can come to you if it's easier?" I say anxiously.

"It's ok Annie, I would like to see your work, if that's ok, as I have never been there and Christian talks so proudly of it and how well you are doing when I speak to him, so I think it's about time I saw it for myself" he says.

That comment surprises me and I wonder how often Christian calls my dad and talks to him.

"Then I will meet you here, and I will enjoy showing you around," I say. "What time?" I ask.

"About 12:30, does that sound ok?" Ray replies casually.

I glance at my watch and quickly check my calendar, "Yes that would be great, see you then daddy" I say.

"See you soon Annie" Ray replies and then he is gone. I return to my work feeling much more settled and I find the concentration I need to focus on my work. The next thing I know Clare is calling up and telling me Ray has arrived, I look at my watch and it's nearly 1 pm. I am surprised as I didn't realise it was that late and I quickly assure her I am on my way down, I finish what I am doing and then run down and meet him.

"Hi daddy," I say excitedly and I give him a kiss on his cheek, I smile as he looks a little embarrassed as I wrap my arms around him.

"Sorry I'm late Annie, traffic was bad," he says as he awkwardly returns my hug.

I wave my hand dismissively and then I excitedly show him around, it gives me a huge thrill to show my father my little empire. I introduce him to Clare who beams at him, and then I introduce him to the rest of the team. He doesn't say a word as I show him around the building, I take him to the project room and show him all the different things we have going on.

"I am so proud of you Annie, you have a good head on your shoulders, and you have made such a success of your life, I am proud to be able to see what you've done."

I swallow hard, tears forming and I hug Ray tightly, he is my rock and always will be, this man who has been my source of stability and constant reassurance in my life. As I go to say something my stomach growls loudly and I can't help but giggle.

"I think that is our cue to go and get something to eat," I say as I pat my stomach gently.

We head out to my favourite deli with Sawyer walking a discreet distance behind us.

"Doesn't that drive you nuts?" Ray asks quietly.

"What?" I ask confused, wondering what he is referring to.

"Him, following you all the while," he says nodding back towards Sawyer.

I smile, "To be honest with you, I forget he is there most of the time now, it did bother me in the beginning especially when Christian was being so... suffocating, I wasn't used to it, but I accept it now, I realise that it comes with the territory, he is there to protect me and its kind of comforting to know he is there if I need him" I say.

We sit down in the deli, taking a seat inside near the window, and as I pull out my wallet Ray places his hand on top of mine and insists on paying.

"I know you can afford it", he says with a wry smile "but I'd like to treat my girl, ok?" he says in a tone which tells me not to argue. I accept gracefully and when he returns we sit eating in a companionable silence.

"Ok Annie, tell your old man what's happened, what has Carla done now?" he says eventually.

I sigh and tell him about my call to my mom, he listens without saying a word and lets me get it all out and when he is certain I have finished he simply shakes his head.

"Christian told me what she said before, when you told her about seeing Morton, I don't understand that woman, I thought she'd worked everything out that was going on in her head after Christian paid for her to have therapy and everything, but she still behaves so badly at times. She loves you Annie, don't ever doubt it; it's just, I don't know she just never seemed to grow up, she is still as erratic as she was when I first met her, and I have no idea what she is thinking half the time."

He pauses, "It was hard being married to her, I was always playing second fiddle to a ghost, she sanctified Frank to the point it got ridiculous," Ray shakes his head at the memory.

"Did you know my biological father?" I ask, this is something I had always wondered but never plucked up the courage to actually ask, but now seems to be the perfect opportunity to ask that very question.

Ray nods, "I did, he was my buddy in my unit when we were both in the army, he knew Jose's dad as well, I was there the day he died, it was a fluke, a complete freak accident, we were on a training exercise, on the obstacle course and there was an accident, nobody could have predicted what happened, any other time he would have walked away with nothing more hurt than his pride, did your mom ever tell you how he died?" he asks looking at me carefully.

I shake my head and Ray sighs, I watch him carefully as he recalls that day, "We were on the obstacle course, he slipped and as he fell, he hit his head and it caught something that was sticking up – must have been a nail or something, anyway, it hit him in the temple, and penetrated his skull he was dead before he hit the ground, it was all so quick and as I say freakish". He stares into space remembering.

He comes to, smiles at me and reaches for my hand, "he was a good man, a very good man but he wasn't the arch angel your mother made him out to be, knowing him as I did, and her as I do, I would doubt very much that they would've lasted the distance, they were both so young and stupid really, neither of them had any common sense."

He stops and shakes his head sadly.

"Did you really just marry her because of me?" I ask quietly, and I look down at my fingers as I ask this.

Ray nods, "You were the best thing that happened to her, but she was in such a bad place she just couldn't see it at the time and if I hadn't stepped in they would have taken you away from her, I couldn't let that happen to either of you. She came around eventually and had to grow up a bit when she had you to take care of," he pauses and takes a sip of his drink.

"She was a good mother when she tried, we muddled along ok, she had these stupid air brained schemes but I kept her grounded. But then she met Steve who had equally crazy ideas and it was just toxic. I could see what it was going to be like, I never trusted him from the start, but what could I do? I knew she only married me out of convenience, she wanted a father for you and a bit of security, someone to take care of her, then when she met Steve and he started making wild promises and offering her everything she had ever dreamed of, she thought it was like all her Christmases had come at once".

I grip his hand tightly and he smiles sadly at me.

"She said she would always love you, when you had that car accident and were in a coma she said she loved you and always would and that you just drifted apart," I say.

I am trying to let him know my mother wasn't the mercenary woman that she sounds from his recollections.

He nods but doesn't seem convinced, "Yes I suppose so; she thought she loved me, but she always followed her heart instead of her head, she's the sort of person who just needs someone to take care of her, you and I did that for years, and now Bob has the job, I don't blame her for anything, we are better as friends".

"Do you think she blames me for marrying Christian and becoming recognisable and bringing Stephen back into our lives?" I ask.

Ray shakes his head firmly "no way, the only thing she is, is envious of you. When I told her about him – Christian that is, after I met him at your graduation; which incidentally I have never forgiven her for missing. Bob would have been fine being left for a few days, she should have been there" he pauses and takes a breath and then gets back on track.

"Anyway, back to the point, when I told her you were dating Christian and who he was she was practically marrying you off to him, then when you did marry and marry so soon - and it was quickly Annie, she seemed to do an about turn and wonder if you were doing the right thing. Then she has seen how Christian loves you and has the resources to _really_ take care of you and I honestly think she is jealous that you... fell on your feet while she has struggled all her life" he pauses again and looks at me intently.

"But that's her problem Annie and you shouldn't take this to heart, she is a complicated woman, besides he – Morton hasn't bothered with her, it's you he is sniffing around, I presume that's because of Christian, which makes you a better meal ticket and I suspect that probably upsets her as well, in a perverse sort of way".

He stops talking, takes another drink and then he squeezes my hand.

"Annie, you have made me so proud because you are a remarkable woman. Christian is lucky to have you; look at what you have achieved, you have two beautiful children and another one on the way, you own your own company and you are doing a job you love, your life is a complete success and even though she is your mother she is envious of you and what you have achieved, because you point out and highlight all her failings in life and all her bad decisions and she doesn't like it. That is why she stays away and only visits when Christian practically forces her to do so, but to be fair she has been better since you cleared the air that time and she told you everything. I'm sorry Annie I shouldn't talk about your mom like this, she is a good woman in her own way, but she just hasn't grown up and taken responsibility for herself."

"I love you, daddy," I say sincerely. I feel him squeeze my hand affectionately and he smiles at me, as I look at him I see the love he has for me shining brightly in his eyes.

"Well, that's good because I love you too Annie, and you are the best daughter any man could wish for," he says simply.

My attention is taken by movement behind Ray and I look up, I am surprised to see Christian is walking towards us. It must show on my face as Ray looks around and immediately stands to offer his hand in greeting to Christian.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" I ask, as he bends to kiss my cheek.

"I went over to Grey Publishing to surprise my wife and to take her out to lunch and I was told she had already gone and left the building with another man," he says with a grin as he nods at Ray and shakes his hand warmly.

"So, I thought I'd come and join you, that's ok isn't it?"

Ray nods and he retakes his seat once more, "Of course it is son" he says warmly.

Christian also sits down and I tell him of my conversation with my mother, he shakes his head I can see he is trying to work out what to say, and Ray looks across at him.

"I know, she leaves you speechless, doesn't she" he says wryly.

He turns to me, "I'm sorry I dropped you in it, Annie, I thought she knew you were pregnant again."

I shake my head, "No, that one's down to me I never got around to mentioning it that night and then I forgot I hadn't said anything until today" I say.

I am anxious to exonerate Ray from any of the blame he might be feeling.

"Perhaps..." Christian says thoughtfully, "if she hadn't reacted how she did that night you would have told her then" he stops and looks at me his eyebrows raised.

I sigh, "She's my mom and I love her but she drives me mad".

All too soon my break is over, Ray leaves and kisses my cheek and shakes Christian's hand before he heads off to his car. Christian escorts me back to work and he comes into my office with me. It always amuses me, and never ceases to amaze me the flurry of activity when he walks in. I am, on paper, technically the owner of this company and I do it and do it well, yet he is always the one who creates the impression.

I feel there is more to his sudden appearance at lunch and his accompanying me back today. He closes the door and sits in the seat in front of my desk.

"What's wrong Christian?" I ask bluntly.

I sit down and look at him questioningly, I am letting him know I realise there is something amiss, and that I want to know what it is, we have long since passed the time where he kept things from me for my own protection, we share everything now. There are no secrets between us, but sometimes I do have to encourage him to share.

"Welch called, as you know Morton has disappeared off the radar, we don't know where he is or what he is doing, which to be honest is worrying me, and has been for a while, but now we can't find any trace of him, anywhere, he is leaving no footprint and in this day and age that really can't be done, so that in itself is making me suspicious and I wanted to tell you so you can be aware that, although nothing has happened, and I hope it doesn't, but you need to keep your guard up and be vigilant" he says looking at me carefully, and I know that he is waiting for my reaction.

I nod soberly as my heart drops at this news, "I wish people would just leave us alone" I sigh.

Christian stands and walks towards me, and pulls me up into his arms, "I know baby, there will always be some crackpot out there, but we are lucky we have the team we do around us".

I feel the need to be with him, and I suddenly just don't want to be here, "Take me home Christian" I whisper in his ear, he smiles at me a regretful look in his eyes.

"I wish I could baby, in fact at this moment I want to do nothing more than take you home and bury myself inside you, but I have an appointment in half an hour and I can't blow it off, its important" he stops and apologetically kisses my forehead.

"Ok," I say, as I push away from him, "You'd better be going then" I add, not wanting to let him go.

He nods at me and kisses me gently on the lips before striding out the door without a backward glance. I sit down in my seat and start working again. I am engrossed in my work until I get a call from the front desk; I glance at my clock I can't believe it it's nearly time to go home.

I answer the call, its Clare informing me Christian has arrived and is on his way up, I quickly close down my computer and finish off the final bits of what I am doing as he opens my door.

"Hey baby, are you nearly finished?" he asks.

I nod "I am" I pick up my phone and walk towards him. As we leave the building I see a shadowy figure across the street, just watching us, I think that I recognise him and I freeze.

"What is it, baby?" Christian asks as he notes my reaction.

"Over there" I nod across the road, but there is nobody there now, "I thought I saw something, I am so paranoid now I am seeing Morton everywhere," I say. Christian immediately wraps his arm around me and looks where I am nodding.

"I don't see anything, but come on baby, let's go home," he says.

The ride home is a silent one, I am feeling anxious and I don't like it, I wish I knew where Morton was and what he was doing, I just want him out of our lives I had gotten over the events of what he did and tried to do to me when I was a child and thought he was part of my past but now with his reappearance and subsequent disappearance again it brings into sharp relief the lengths nut jobs will go to, to try and harm us, just because my husband has made such a success of his life and his business and become a very rich man. Why do some people in society think its ok to do things like that?

"What are you thinking about, baby, you look deep in thought?" Christian pulls me from my melancholy thoughts.

"Nothing important," I say and smile at him, I rest my head on his shoulder and he kisses my forehead.

**oooOOOooo**

As the weeks pass, I relax again, and turn my attention back to my pregnancy, I have organised the nursery and I have everything ready for the new arrival. Christian wanted to buy all new things and was astonished that I wanted to re-use all the newborn baby things from Phoebe.

"Christian, it's just a waste of money," I say as I look at the huge pile of baby clothes on the bed, "Phoebe didn't wear half of this stuff, a lot of it is brand new, why buy more when we have all this?" I say as I gesture to the bed.

Christian finally accepts my point and helps me go through it, but he insists that anything Phoebe actually wore won't be kept, as his daughter wasn't wearing hand me downs. I give him that and even after discarding all the clothes Phoebe wore, even though sometimes it was probably only once, we still have more than enough things for our latest child.

"Have you had any thoughts on names yet?" I ask as we put all the clothes we are keeping back into the drawers and closet, "I have been talking to Kate, and she mentioned a name which I really like" I add.

"No, but I'd like her to have Grace as her middle name, after all Phoebe has Carla as hers," he says as he hands me another pile of baby clothes.

"Ok, well the name I have in mind goes really nicely with Grace," I say.

"What's that then?" he asks.

"Isobel," I say looking up at him hopefully.

"Isobel? Hmm ... Isobel Grace Grey" Christian nods, "Yes I like that" he says firmly.

"Ooh," I say suddenly and touch my stomach, Christian is immediately beside me and panicking slightly.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"Nothing, Isobel is just moving around at the moment, she has just started so she must like her name" I say with a small giggle and then gasp as I get a solid kick, I quickly grasp Christian's hand and place it on my stomach, and as he feels our daughter moving around, a huge smile creeps across his face and his eyes are firmly fixed on my bump.

"You know it never ceases to amaze me when I feel our babies moving around inside you," he says with wonder in his tone of voice. He crouches and lifting up my shirt he places a small kiss on my bump. He laughs as he gets either a punch or a kick in the mouth just as he does it and he then places his hand protectively over my bump and strokes it lovingly.

I stare at him, he is such a good father as I knew he would be, he has so much love to give, he is strict and sets boundaries but he is also fun and loving and our children want for nothing.

I wouldn't have my life any other way and I marvel at just how much it has changed in a relatively short amount of time. I would still be paying off my student loans now if I hadn't married Christian. I think back to my childhood and then I think of Christian's early life and I shiver, our children will never know what it is like to struggle and be poor. Not that I ever experienced the levels of poverty Christian did when he was a small child. Christian is determined that although our children will experience the best of what life has to offer, they will also be taught the value of money, and that although they are wealthy and privileged, that wealth and privilege doesn't make them entitled and it comes with great responsibility.

"Christian" I say urgently, as an overwhelming urge consumes me, I want him and I want him badly, and I want him now.

My pregnancy hormones are messing with my sex drive like they did when I was pregnant with Teddy and Phoebe, and once again I am thankful I have a highly motivated sexual husband, as during pregnancy I am more than able to match his own urges and demands with my own, so much so that I can say, hand on heart, that I have worn out Christian Grey on a couple of previous occasions.

His head swings up to mine, his eyes heat, at the way I said his name. He knows what I want and he is immediately willing to provide it. He rises gracefully to his feet and places a small chaste kiss on my lips I wrap my arms around him and his hands wander up to my breasts.

"You want me baby?" he asks his voice now hoarse with lust.

I nod, "Yes" I whisper back and I pull him closer and reach for him and stroke him to emphasise my point.

That is all the invitation he needs and soon we are both naked and desperate for each other, his hands and mouth are all over me, I am bombarded with sensation as he methodically moves his way over me, touching, kissing and loving me. I respond by arching my back and moaning loudly and he smiles, he lies me down carefully on the bed, pulling me to the edge so he won't have to lay on top of me, and he pushes a pillow under my hips raising me a little.

"Are you comfortable baby?" he asks, and I nod and I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer, he reaches between us and takes himself in hand and carefully enters me, so slowly, all the time watching my face and not taking his eyes from mine.

"Ok?" he mutters as he continues to push himself inside me.

"Yes" I gasp I want him badly, and I urge him closer.

"Please Christian I'm not made of glass," I say try to pull him closer, he shakes his head and continues to move slowly and carefully.

"Please Christian" I beg.

He stops and unexpectedly pulls out, I gasp at the loss of him then the next thing I know he is on the bed and I am straddling him, he lowers me on to him and I have control, he grasps my hips to steady my rhythm, as I am now nearly mindless with want, and we are soon lost in each other.

**oooOOOooo**

I am now 8 months pregnant and ready to go on maternity leave, Christian has been nagging at me for some time to finish work until our after our daughter has been born.

He has been so jumpy recently, after a considerable time of no activity and a somewhat ominous silence, Stephen Morton has made another reappearance, and he has upped his game, as since he resurfaced he has been calling Christian regularly and he has been playing mind games with him.

I am drawn from my work by the memory I will never forget a couple of weeks previously, the day I came home from work and found Christian weeping in his office.

_I walked in the door and called out, when I got no reply I went in search of my husband, I was beginning to worry when Taylor came to me with a concerned look on his face._

_"Mrs Grey, Mr Grey is in his office," he says quietly._

_"Why are you whispering Taylor?" I ask, panic rising inside me._

_"Mr Grey... appears to be a little upset," Taylor says, he is clearly uncomfortable and doesn't know what to do, I drop my bag and rush to Christians office and enter without knocking._

_The sight that greets me will live with me forever, Christian with his head on his hands on the desk quietly weeping. I rush to him and wrap my arms around him._

_"Christian, what's happened?" I ask._

_I have never seen him like this before, he looks up at me and he looks like the little lost boy I knew when we were first together, it's a look I haven't seen for years._

_"Christian talk to me" I demand._

_He doesn't say word, but he pulls me onto his lap and holds me close and buries his nose in my hair._

_"Christian please, talk to me" I beg._

_"Morton has been calling me," he says._

_I go cold at those words, he resurfaced a while ago and since he did so, he has been focussing his attention on Christian, trying to undermine our relationship by filling his head with lies._

_"What's he done now?" I sigh, and wait for Christian to speak._

_"He sent me these," Christian opens his drawer and pulls out an envelope inside are a handful of photographs. _

_I take the envelope and I look inside and I immediately wish I hadn't done so because I feel sick, they are photographs of me when I was a child living in Texas with Stephen and my mom, they are clearly photo's of me taken without my knowledge. Photographs of me undressing for showers or getting ready for bed, photos of me sleeping and a couple which have obviously been done on a timer, where Morton himself is in the pictures, I am fast asleep in bed and he is lying beside me naked masturbating and he is touching me. I stare in utter disbelief at the photos, then panic surges through me and I look up at Christian._

_"I didn't know anything about this," I say "I didn't know he was this twisted," I say. I feel dirty just looking at some of these photographs, seeing what he did while I was unaware._

_"I know that baby, he said you had posed for him and let him photograph you, but it's obvious you are completely unaware of all this"._

_"What else has he done?" I ask, as I drop the photos I am holding back on to the desk._

_"He called me, he asked me how I felt at becoming a father again, he asked me if I was sure it was my baby, he told me you were such a whore how could I be sure any of our children were mine."_

_I stare at him in total shock at this, surely he knows our children are his you only have to look at them, as he is stamped all over them, especially Teddy. The anxiety I am feeling increases at this. _

_"Christian, you know our children are yours, Ted is a practically carbon copy of you, the only thing of mine he has are my blue eyes, we know Phoebe is yours because we planned her and she was conceived in Aspen, I have never cheated on you Christian, you are the only man I have ever slept with," I say and I inwardly cringe as my voice is rising with panic._

_He ignores my words and continues to speak, "He told me the reason he has come back into your life now is because..." he stops and pulls me closer, "because he is the father of this baby" he puts his hand on my stomach._

_"NO" I scream and leap to my feet, "Christian, please tell me you don't believe him, because its not true I love you, you are the only man who has ever made love to me, please tell me you believe me? I couldn't bear it if you didn't trust me" I stop and the tears are coursing down my cheeks and I stare at Christian in disbelief. Does he really believe any of this?_

_The look of horror on my face shakes him free of whatever it was that was gripping his mind, he stands and holds me tightly._

_"Of course I don't believe him, you are my wife and I love you and I trust you, I know I am the only man who has ever had you, of course I know I am the father to our children, but he just kept talking and talking and he got into my head, I should have hung up, I don't know why I didn't, Christ Ana, I know this baby is mine, just as I know Ted and Phoebe are, he is trying to split us up Ana and I can't bear the thought of anyone coming between us, I can't lose you."_

_I have never seen Christian so lost in a long while, I urge him to sit down, and turn to leave, "where are you going?" he asks, fear evident in his eyes and voice._

_"I need a drink" I lie and he nods at me. _

_I leave the room and fetch a glass of water and call John Flynn, I outline quickly what has happened, and how worried I am, he tells me he has finished seeing patients for the day and was just about to go home, so he tells me that he will come here and see Christian now, and he assures me as soon as he hangs up he will be on his way. About 15 minutes later he arrives looking very worried. _

_"Thank you so much for coming, John, I'm worried," I say._

_"No problem Ana, lead the way," John says kindly._

_I lead him to Christians study, and Christian looks up and frowns._

_"John what are you doing here?" he asks as he stands and greets John, by holding out his hand._

_"Ana called me Christian, because she is worried about you," he pauses by a chair, "May I sit down?" he asks._

_Christian nods and looks at me, I move towards him and I slide on to his knee and he wraps his arms around me and holds on to me like I am a life raft._

_"Why don't you tell me what has been happening? I am a little concerned that this is the first I have heard about all this, so why don't you tell me what has happened, from the beginning, and how it's making you feel Christian?" Flynn asks gently._

_"Do you want me to go, and give you some privacy?" I ask as I try and stand up._

_"No," Christian says sharply, clinging even tighter to me. He sighs and shows Flynn the photographs and tells him everything that Morton has done and said. I blush as Flynn looks at the photographs._

_"I had no idea about these" I insist._

_Flynn looks up at me, I see him nods and he smiles at me, and I realise he is reassuring me that he understands that._

_"Do you believe this man Christian?" he asks._

_"Of course I don't" he snaps._

_"Then, why are you so upset?" Flynn asks patiently._

_"Because, this twisted pervert has come into our lives and he is trying to come between us and drive a wedge between us, he is obsessed with her, she was a child for god's sake, and look what he was doing..." _

_He stops and horror and revulsion fills his face, he pushes me off his knee and starts pacing the room and gripping his hair._

_I look at Flynn urging him to do something, and then with a rush of understanding and clarity it hits me, why he is so upset, why he is so lost. He is drawing parallels with himself and the relationship he had with Elena, he was a teenage boy seduced by an older woman and he went along with it and she tried repeatedly to come between us. _

_Since we had the children he has known that the relationship he had with Elena was wrong, but this has come and slapped him in the face, and all his old self-hatred and revulsion has reappeared because he willingly participated, whereas I ran away._

_"Christian stop it" I say firmly. _

_He turns and stares at me, "Stop it, now this moment" I say._

_I grab the photographs, "You need to tell Welch about this, what if he tries to sell them to the tabloids or something? You need to get an injunction or something in place" I am thinking fast, I want him to be focussed on doing something, so he can regain his sense of control. He watches me and thinks about what I have said and to my great relief, it appears to work. _

_He picks up his phone and calls Welch and quickly outlines what has happened, Welch assures him that he will get right on it. _

_I see Christian's demeanour subtly change as he begins to fight back and come out of the dark place he had retreated to. I look at Flynn and smile, he nods at me, he realises what I am doing. I am helping to bring my husband back. When he finishes the call with Welch, he looks at me and then at Flynn._

_"It reminded me of my relationship with Elena, there were parallels there" he mutters, "But I went along with it, I thought she helped me" he adds in a disgusted tone._

"_Ok, I'll let you talk this through with John, I'm going to find Gail and find out how long dinner is going to be" I say._

_I wrap my arms around him "Talk to John, and tell him everything," I say firmly. _

_He turns his head and looks at me resolve and determination filling his face and he nods, before lifting his arm and reaching behind my head and pulling me close for a kiss._

"_I love you baby" he whispers and I smile._

"_I love you too... now talk!" I say._

_As I pull away I touch his face, "Yes there are similarities, both Morton and Elena are twisted perverted people, who prey on others for their kicks, yes we were both young around the same age, when we were prayed upon, but that is where the similarities end, I was a well adjusted teenager who stood up for herself and got out, you were a mixed up kid with severe issues stemming from a horrific childhood. You were lost and crying out to be understood and she took advantage of that. He has come back now, because he thinks he can make some money and cause trouble doing it, we have to stop him Christian, we have to show him how strong we are, how much we love each other and how much we mean to each other, so talk to John and get this all straight in your head". _

_I glance at John who is nodding enthusiastically at me._

_"Very well said Ana, I couldn't have put it better myself," he says smiling kindly at me... _

I am pulled from my memories and brought back to the present moment in my office with my pile of work in front of me by my phone ringing, which I quickly answer.

"Ana" Christians voice purrs at me. I smile immediately as I hear him.

"Hello you, I was just thinking about you" I say.

"Hmmm, that's what I like to hear" he murmurs seductively,

I laugh, "what do you want; I am trying to work here?" I ask, trying to sound stern and failing miserably.

"Welch called, he has injunctions in place so those photographs cannot be sold or published, Barney has hacked into Morton's computer and deleted all the copies he has on there, obviously there are the original hard copies, and Welch says he will keep his eyes open for anything happening with those, but for the time being you are safe."

"Oh thank god," I say with relief, "Please thank Welch and Barney for me" I add.

"Will do, anyway thought you'd like to know that, but I have got to go now, laters baby!"

"Laters" I say and he is gone, I return to my work. I am not disturbed again until about half an hour later, when my office door opens.

"Hello Ana," I go cold at the voice and look up in shock, how the hell did he manage to get in here? This has worried me, I am wondering how Stephen has managed to infiltrate our normally cast-iron security.

He stands smirking, delighted that his plan appears to have worked, little does he know that there is CCTV camera's recording everything that is said and done in here, as Christian insisted on it.

"What do you want?" I ask my arms folded and keeping away from him.

"Anastasia, that is no way to talk to your stepfather," he says leering at me.

I snort derisively at him, "You are not my stepfather, you are the piece of shit who physically and emotionally abused me and tried to sexually abuse me when I was 14 years old, and also the piece of shit who raped my mother and used her as a punching bag" I say with more confidence than I am feeling. As I stop talking and realise that I am shaking slightly so I try and control my rising anxiety.

I am shocked when he cuts to the chase immediately, he moves towards me and he unzips his trousers and starts stroking himself.

"Now I have found you again, I am going to get from you what you refused to give me last time, you were a naughty girl Anastasia, but now you are a grown woman and hopefully you will have learnt a few manners and will be nicer to me this time".

I glance down at his erection and I feel physically sick, I move away from him, but move so I am positioned right underneath the CCTV camera to get the best and clearest recording. As I move, his eyes move to my stomach, and he stares at my bump, and my hand instinctively moves to protect my baby.

He steps forward and reaches to grab me I thrust my hands out and grip his shoulders but he is so strong he grabs, again and again, I scream out in panic as he pins me to the wall, and is blindly trying to pull at my skirt and force himself between my legs, thankfully he can't get close enough because of my bump and I wildly scratch and bite and pull hair and I try to bring my knee up, but I am awkward and clumsy because I am so pregnant. He pushes one hand over my mouth as I scream again and I bite him as hard as I can, he yanks his hand away and punches me square in the face, I see stars but continue to fight back.

Suddenly, I hear a roar of anger and everything goes into slow motion as I feel him being yanked off me, and thrown across the room, I look and Christian has him up against the wall and is beating him senseless, Taylor pulls him off and whispers in his ear, he immediately lets go and Taylor and Sawyer haul him away.

I have sunk to my knees, and am sobbing in a trembling mess on the floor, Christian crouches beside me and gently touches my arm, I jump violently and he makes soothing sounds and strokes my hair away from my face.

I look up and through the tears I see his anxious face. I reach up and he stands with me in his arms and carries me from the room. Sawyer appears and wraps a blanket around me; everyone is staring open-mouthed as Christian strides out of the building with me in his arms and takes me to the hospital.

I am lying in a hospital bed, Dr Green has done every test imaginable and everything is fine, I have a splitting headache and my eye is very tender, I am reliably informed that I will have a superb shiner. Christian sits beside me gripping my hand; Taylor called to say the police have charged Morton with attempted rape and assault, not to mention the violation of a restraining order.

"How did he manage to get through?" I whisper hoarsely to Christian who looks at me and shakes his head. He hasn't said a word to me since we left the office. I know he is furious about this and I fear for Luke's job.

Christian swallows, "He took the opportunity, he had obviously been watching and saw the perfect moment, and he went for it. Sawyer was on a comfort break and Clare was dealing with a courier, and was distracted and he managed to sneak in past her" he says bitterly.

"That wasn't her fault, or Luke's," I say immediately, noting the tone of his voice and I don't want either of them to lose their jobs.

It had been made worse as Hannah wasn't there either as she had taken half a day for a dentist appointment. He knew if he could get past reception he would have a clear run.

"I know that," he says after a moment, "but moving forward, Clare won't be the sole receptionist and there will be more security" he adds.

"I don't think that's..." I begin but Christian cuts me off.

"You and our daughter were put at risk," he spits, he is very angry but controlling it well.

"I'm sorry" I whisper, as I think he is angry with me.

He kisses my hand and strokes my cheek, "I'm not angry with you baby, I angry with myself that I didn't put in place adequate protection for you," he says.

"Christian don't" I say, trying to placate him but it seems to only anger him even more.

"What would you have done if he had raped you?" Christian snaps, "that is what he was trying to do, you do realise that don't you? I failed you because I failed to prevent that from happening," he says pointing at himself.

"Yes Christian I do", I snap "that is what he tried to do to me when I was 14 years old, I fought him off then and I did the same thing again this time, this is not your fault."

"You weren't eight months pregnant with my child then" Christian hisses, "He could have done anything and I failed to adequately protect you".

"But he didn't" I say trying to reason with him, but I can see his point, how bad it could have been and I can also see how he is beating himself up about it as well.

"If anything serious had happened to you and our daughter," he says in a more gentle tone.

"I know, but it was nobody's fault so stop blaming yourself" I say.

Christian wraps his arms around me, "I failed to protect you," he repeats again bleakly.

"No you didn't," I say firmly, "You need to focus on the positives, he is caught now, his own actions have resulted in him finally getting caught, he is no longer a threat, which he always would have been, had he not managed to get through today, just think, if he hadn't and maybe come back another time - or god forbid maybe gotten hold of Phoebe or Ted, it doesn't bear thinking about".

I see Christian consider this and he nods but remains silent.

After numerous more tests we are eventually discharged from hospital, and after a silent drive home I am sitting while Christian is hovering and fussing. Grace is also here, after Christian called her to come and sit with the children while he was with me at the hospital.

Christian reaches for his phone which starts buzzing, he answers it and smiles as he listens carefully, then eventually he says "That is very good news, thank you very much detective, yes I will tell her" and he hangs up.

"That was detective Clark they have searched Morton's apartment and found all the photographs he took of you when you were a child, they have also found compelling evidence there which points to him being totally obsessed about you, he said the amount of stuff we have on him should put him away" he stops and looks at me gravely "he also said, normally when they find this much evidence of obsession, its already too late."

I stare at him, and take a deep breath, I had no idea, to me from my perspective it all seemed to happen so quickly, in a matter of months, but it appears he has been following me for years even before I married Christian, and I only found out when I saw him that day in New York.

As I am sitting thinking this my phone rings, "Hello" I say.

"Ana are you alright, Christian called me?" I sigh, as I realise it's my mother.

"I'm fine" I say shortly, I wait for her to speak.

"Are you there?" she asks.

"I'm here," I say.

"Ana please don't be angry with me, Christian has told me everything, I am so proud of you standing up to him the way you did, you were always much stronger than I was" she stops and I hear her crying.

"Oh, mom don't cry," I say I look at Christian, who is now rolling his eyes.

"Please mom stop it" I say, "I'm fine, the baby is fine, and that asshole has been put away and is out of our lives for good"

"I know, but if anything had happened to you, I would never have forgiven myself" she whines.

"Mom stop it, nothing happened, and it's over, finished" I snap losing patience. "Look I have to go, now," I say, "Thanks for calling me it was good to hear from you."

"Alright I'll let you go, you will let me know when the baby arrives won't you?" she asks.

"Yes mom, of course I will, you will be one of the first to know" I say.

I kill the call and shake my head. I have barely hung up when my phone rings again.

"Hello" I say.

"What the hell has happened Annie, that pervert could have killed you?" my normally placid and calm father is shouting down the phone at me, I move the phone away from my ear and Christian turns to look, he can hear Ray and so can Grace who is looking somewhat shocked at my stepfathers outburst which can clearly be heard.

"Daddy please, I'm alright, nothing happened, and everything he tried to do is on CCTV so there is no argument it will stand up in court" I stop talking as Ray continues with his tirade.

"That's not the point Annie you are eight months pregnant for god's sake, where the hell was your protection, I thought you said he was always there, he wasn't damn well there for you then?"

This accusation levelled at Luke angers me and I raise my voice significantly, "Hey calm down dad, Luke was on a comfort break, he's entitled to have a pee!" I say, then I calm down and continue to speak in a calmer tone, "While Luke was in the bathroom, Morton sneaked past Clare who was dealing with something else, but Christian is implementing changes to ensure nothing like that happens again, it's all sorted daddy so please don't get upset" I beg.

"Oh Annie, if anything had happened to you or the baby" my father says quietly.

"But it didn't, I'm fine and so is the baby," I say firmly.

"As long as you are alright" he says finally.

"I am, honestly daddy" I say.

"Ok, I'll let you get some rest, bye Annie" he says.

"Bye daddy" I say and hang up.

Grace is sitting with her mouth open, "I never thought I'd see the day that Ray lost his temper, he always seems so mild-mannered, I could hear him shouting at you from here" she says.

"He has his moments" I say dryly.

Grace stands to leave, "I'll be getting back, now you are home and safe" she says quietly.

Christian stares at her, "Thanks for coming mom" he says he kisses her on the cheek.

"Good night darling" she says as she kisses him, "Goodnight Ana, get some rest" she says as she pats my shoulder.

"Goodnight Grace and thank you" I say.

When Christian returns he sits down beside me and wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Why did you phone my mom?" I ask.

Christian shrugs, "I don't know, I don't like to see you two at odds, I know Carla is a bit scatterbrained but I know deep down you love her and well, I just wanted to help" he says quietly.

"Thank you" I reply and I don't say any more as there is nothing else needed to say.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

_One week later..._

We are sitting together in our living room, the children are in bed and I am lying tucked under Christian's arm with a book, we are listening to music, he is not really paying attention though as he is reading some contracts and checking the details. I yawn and place my book down; he turns and looks at me as I gently remove myself from under his arm.

"I'm going to bed; I am finishing work tomorrow, until after the baby is born so I want to be there early to get everything in place and in order for the handover," I explain.

Christian beams at me, he has been waiting for this news for weeks now, and since the incident with Morton a week ago he has been nagging me to go on maternity leave.

"Ok, goodnight baby," he says and kisses my cheek. "I won't be long I just need to finish this".

I go upstairs and look in on my sleeping children, I smile as I watch them sound asleep in their beds, and then I head to my own. I sort myself out and after brushing my teeth I crawl into bed and it is a testament to how tired that I am asleep in seconds and don't even notice when Christian comes to bed.

When I awaken the next morning, I look at the clock and it is nearly 7 am, I can hear Christian is in the shower and I climb out of bed and I go and join him.

"Good morning beautiful," he says as I step in beside him.

"Hmm," I say, as I'm still half asleep.

Christian laughs and turns me away from him and starts soaping my back and shoulders, I groan with pleasure as his hands move over me, he moves them around and touches my breasts and my now huge stomach and then he starts planting small kisses on my neck and shoulder. I turn to face him and reach down for him and I smile, as I expected he is like stone, I caress him gently from root to tip and he hisses through his teeth at my touch, I grip his arms and wobbling a little, I lower myself down on to my knees and take him in my mouth, I love doing this to him, watching how he comes apart. I look up and see the pleasure on his face, he holds my head and thrusts gently into my mouth, I reach for him with my hands but he catches them.

"No," he says, and I obediently remove my hands from his grasp. I would normally place them behind my back but with my huge stomach I need help to balance and so instead I grip his hips to steady myself, I feel him getting more and more excited.

"Ana, I am going to come now, if you don't want me to come in your mouth move now," he says desperately.

I stay where I am and I feel him come in my mouth, I swallow instinctively and wipe my mouth, Christian hauls me to my feet and kisses me fiercely.

"I can taste me in your mouth," he says.

We leave the shower and I brush my teeth, Christian dries me and leads me to the bedroom, he lies down between my legs and starts kissing me, his tongue starts exploring and feel good, I moan as his tongue caresses me and pushes inside me. As I get more and more excited, Christian pulls me to the edge of the bed, and turning me lifts me on to his lap, and on to his waiting erection, him taking me from behind or me on top of him like I am at the moment are really the only ways we can make love now with my stomach as huge as it is, I gasp as he enters me and he pauses.

"Alright?" he asks warily.

I nod "Oh god yes," I say, I start to move and he thrusts into me he keeps going and I feel myself building.

"Come for me, give it up for me Ana" he whispers in my ear and obediently I orgasm around him shaking and crying out his name, a couple more thrusts and he finds his release, he drops his head on to my shoulder and sighs.

"We have to shower again now" I whisper with a giggle.

"Worth it though," he says as he plants a small kiss on my neck.

After breakfast I am feeling funny, I feel on edge, which is not an emotion I normally feel after sex I don't say anything, and put it down to the fact today is my last day, and I need to make sure everything is sorted and in place, before I leave.

I go to work and get engrossed in what I am doing, but by lunchtime, I am feeling really quite strange, my back is aching and so are the tops of my legs. I decide to have a walk around and it eases and I get back to work. I have finally finished and briefed everyone and by 5:30 I am saying my goodbyes. Everyone is gathered and wishing me luck as I leave Grey Publishing until after Isobel is born. I still have a nagging pain in my back but think nothing of it.

After dinner Christian is looking at me closely "Are you alright Ana?" he asks.

I nod, "yes I have just felt a little bit off today", I say.

He comes and sits beside me, and he touches my head, when he is satisfied I am not running a fever, he plants a small kiss on my cheek. Ted and Phoebe disturb our thoughts as they charge into the room.

We spend the evening playing with our children, it all feels so normal, I am grateful for times like this – the small pleasures in life which are miles away from the world I fell into when I married Christian Grey, not that would trade any of it for a second.

I have got used to being rich, although I am still much more thrifty and prudent than Christian, I still generally refuse to buy anything that isn't really needed, and if I do want something a little extravagant which is just for me or something impulsive, I always run it past Christian first. I smile at the many memories I have of his exasperated look and him saying 'Ana if you want it, buy it, you don't need my permission, it is ok to want something, just get it'.

I remember the time when I was pregnant with Ted and I went shopping in Wal-Mart, I got snapped by the paps and it was splashed all over the tabloids. I learnt quickly that I wouldn't be shopping in Wal-Mart again. Now look at me, I look at my beloved husband playing with our children and I touch my stomach, another one will soon be joining them.

Christian pulls me from thoughts, literally, as he helps me to my feet, I notice Phoebe has fallen asleep, and I watch as Christian lifts her gently and carries her upstairs, I grasp Ted's hand, but he is a little more reluctant to go to bed, but I can see by the look in his eyes and if he doesn't go now he will get really cranky.

Christian baths Ted and as I help him into bed and kiss his cheek he smiles at me.

"Goodnight Mommy," he says I smile back at him.

"Goodnight little man," I say.

I glance at Christian who has settled himself into the seat beside me ready to read his usual bedtime story so I leave them to it.

Later, we are getting ready for bed Christian is in the bathroom and I am in bed waiting for him when suddenly a pain shoots across my stomach and everything tightens in a vice-like grip, I gasp and cry out, Christian is beside me in seconds.

"What is it?" he asks looking terrified.

I fling back the bed covers and stand and as I do so a gush of water comes from between my legs, Christian jumps back and curses as he stares in horror.

"I think its time," I say as another pain grips me. I am feeling the urge to push and the pressure is immense.

Christian is calling out for Taylor and pulling on his jeans, he grabs his t-shirt and his phone. Taylor appears and quickly takes charge, and sends Sawyer to fetch my case, Gail appears and I apologise profusely for the mess I have made, she smiles and assures me everything is fine, I look around for Christian and see he is on the phone to Dr Green.

"How often are the contractions coming?" he asks me.

"It's constant and I want to push and I feel like I need the toilet, the pressure is incredible" I gasp.

Christian relays this information to Dr Green and then horror creeps across his face.

"Ana baby, don't push," he says frantically.

He sweeps me up into his arms and strides outside when we reach the car he deposits me into it and then climbs in after me.

"Step on it Taylor, or we will be delivering this baby" he says tightly.

Taylor speeds us to the hospital, normally when he drives like a bat out of hell I am afraid for my life, but this time I don't even notice, the pain is intense and the contractions are constant and crippling and the urge to push is becoming irresistible.

"Christian, I have to push" I shout, gripping his hand.

I look into his face; he still has Dr Green on the line and he is relaying everything that is happening.

"She says she has to push, what do I do?" he asks helplessly, I see the fear on his face. He listens carefully and then he puts Dr Green on speaker and places his phone down, her calm voice is fills the car.

"Mr Grey, you need to examine Ana and see how close the baby is to being born."

He looks at me almost apologetically and I nod and I unbuckle my seatbelt and shuffle around, with shaking hands he removes my panties, I glance at Taylor who is stoically staring at the road ahead. But this is no time to be embarrassed and I get the overwhelming urge to push again.

"Christ, I can see the baby's head," Christian gasps, "What do I do?"

"Don't panic Mr Grey, how far are you from the hospital?"

"Erm..." Christian says as he looks frantically out of the window.

"We are nearly there Sir, I can see the hospital now," Taylor says calmly.

"Christian" I gasp as I can't help but push again.

"Fuck she's coming now" Christian gasps, "Please baby hang on, we are nearly there" he pleads staring down at me and gripping my hand.

"Don't panic Mr Grey I can see your car," Dr Green says, "Can your driver see me?" she adds.

"I see her" Taylor replies shortly and seconds later he screeches to a halt.

Christian leaps out of the car and wraps the blanket around me to protect my modesty and lifts me from the car on to the waiting gurney and we are rushed into the hospital, we don't even have time to make it to the delivery room and Dr Green ushers us into a small side room just inside the main doors. Once they are closed she quickly examines me.

"Ok Mrs Grey, you are going to get your wish and give birth naturally, the head is crowning and you need to push" Dr Green says calmly.

I nod at her and grasp Christian's hand.

"Is this safe?" Christian replies, he is beside himself, as I reach for his hand he turns and looks at me and I see him push down his panic and fear as he closes his eyes momentarily and takes a deep breath and when he opens them again he focuses solely on supporting me.

"It'll be ok baby, I'm right here," he says, his voice is shaking and the fear in his eyes is terrible, but right now I have more important things to think about.

"Christian, help me" I gasp, "help me, support me while I push our baby out" I look him in the eye and grip his hand tightly, he nods at me his focus coming back and I see it pushing his fear away.

"You can do this Ana," he says quietly, he wraps his other arm around me.

"Ok Ana its show time, when you get the urge to push go for it and push into your bottom," Dr Green says.

I push and after only two pushes and a surge of red-hot pain which feels like its ripping me in two, Dr Green says in a calm voice "the head is out now, once we get the baby's shoulders out the hard part is over, I want you to push again..." I do so and another horrendous pain surges through me and I cry out as I grip Christian's hand tightly."

I vaguely hear Dr Green issuing instructions and I do my best to concentrate and follow them and moments later an angry cry pierces the air.

"Here is baby Grey number 3," Dr Green says with a smile as she holds up my wriggling screaming daughter.

"Congratulations, that was a textbook delivery albeit a little bit quick, it seems that your daughter was in a hurry to meet you".

She looks at her watch, "9:23 pm" she says, "We need to remember that, and we need to get you both up to delivery to finish off now ok?"

Christian nods, he is in a daze, he grips my hand and stares at our daughter who has been placed in my arms, she is still attached to the cord and placenta which has just been delivered safely. As we leave the side room and race towards the delivery rooms people stare in surprise.

When we arrive there is a team waiting for us, Christian cuts the cord and they take the baby from me, I sink back with exhaustion, but pleased that I have finally delivered a baby myself and quite proud of the fact I did it naturally without any pain relief. All the checks are done as Christian watches anxiously, and then our daughter is placed in his arms, he looks at her with tears in his eyes.

"Hello Isobel," he whispers and kisses her gently on the forehead he turns to me and leaning over kisses me gently too, "She is beautiful, like her mother" he adds staring at the bundle in his arms.

**oooOOOooo**

"Mr Grey, everything is absolutely fine, your wife is well and your daughter is healthy, this is your third child, so there is absolutely no reason to keep them here and Mrs Grey has expressed a desire to go home."

Dr Green sounds irritable and is rapidly losing patience with Christian.

"Christian please, everything is fine" I plead.

"But you nearly gave birth the back of the car, and you ended up in a side room" he rants.

"Yes I did, and everything was fine in the end," I say patiently.

"Mr Grey quick labours are the safest kind" Dr Green puts in.

Christian is pacing around the room, his hands in his hair; I just want to go home and I lose my patience with him. So I put my coat on and grab the car seat containing my daughter and the small overnight bag and as I stalk past him towards the door. Taylor holds his hand out for the bag and I hand it to him, I glare at the orderly with a wheelchair and walk straight past him with Taylor following in my wake.

"You do know Mr Grey is not going to like this," Taylor says to me quietly.

I turn to face him, "I know" I say dismissively.

I am totally unconcerned about the tantrum I know Christian is going to throw over this, everything is fine and I just want to go home.

"Please take me and my daughter home" I add, and I swear I see a small smile appear on Taylor's lips.

"Very good Mrs Grey," he says as he leads me out of a side door.

I am just settling myself in the car, I have strapped the car seat in and I have a protective hand on my daughter, as she quietly sleeps, when door next to me is wrenched open and Christian slides in beside me and he is angry... very angry.

He opens his mouth to speak and I hold up my hand to stop him.

"Don't start," I say quietly but firmly.

He opens his mouth to speak again and I glare at him. "I said don't start, firstly our daughter is asleep and if you start ranting again you will wake her, secondly, I want to get home to see my two other children, I am perfectly fine, and everything is good and thirdly I have three children and a husband, not four children, so please stop acting like a child."

I continue to glare at him almost daring him to say anything.

I watch as a smile twitches reluctantly at his lips, and I see the tension falling from him, he wraps his arm around me and kisses me gently.

"I'm sorry, baby," he says quietly, "you know I worry about you, everything happened so fast last night, coming out the next morning it just didn't seem long enough".

"But everything is fine" I insist.

When we arrive back home, Gail comes over and peers into the car seat, "Oh isn't she beautiful, congratulation to you both."

Christian beams at her words, he is enjoying being the proud father even if he is a ranting over protective ass. Sawyer and Ryan appear eager to have a little peep at the baby and both offer their congratulations. I find it amusing as I watch them and Taylor cooing over the baby, three grown hulking men who are all lethal; behaving like a bunch of softies. The door opens and Ted comes running in closely followed by Phoebe. I hold open my arms and they run into them.

"Mrs Taylor said the baby is here," Ted says.

"She is" I reply, "Daddy is holding her in her car seat" I add and point towards Christian.

Ted and Phoebe look across at Christian who is still surrounded by the security detail, still cooing over Isobel and they move closer and as they do so Taylor looks up.

"Come on back to work," he says sternly and immediately Sawyer and Ryan move reluctantly away.

Taylor also disappears into his office. I watch Christian set down the car seat and pulls out his daughter and then he sits with her in his arms, immediately Ted and Phoebe rush over.

"Carefully," Christian warns as they charge towards him.

"She's so little," Ted says.

"She's pretty" Phoebe adds.

They stare at their sister, but as all she doing is sleeping they soon lose interest and go to find Gail to get some breakfast.

"Should she be sleeping this much?" Christian asks anxiously.

I smile at him, "I just changed her and fed her before you and Taylor arrived, so yes she is clean and full so she will sleep. Come on Christian we have been through this before, twice before, surely you know the routine by now," I grin at him but he still looks worried.

I know what this is about though, he is still slightly traumatised by the events of last night, and I also think Taylor is a little more shaken by it than he is letting on as well, as it was cutting it a little too close for comfort, I had barely got in the hospital before she was born.

I stand and as I walk past Christian who is still fussing over Isobel I place a kiss on his forehead. I go into the other room and call Dr Flynn as I don't want Christian fretting during what should be a happy time.

"Hello, John Flynn speaking " he says amiably.

"Dr Flynn, its Ana, Ana Grey," I say quietly.

"Ana, how are you, my dear?" Flynn's kind voice comes to me.

"I'm fine, look I was hoping if you could see Christian today at some point?" I ask.

"Why, what's happened?" he asks immediately worried.

"I gave birth last night, we had a little girl, and it was all a little bit too close for comfort, as she was very nearly born in the car on the way to the hospital. So Christian, as you can imagine didn't handle things very well. But we made it and everything was ok until this morning when I was discharged, Christian had a bit of a tantrum in the hospital about it, and he is still fretting now, because he is over-thinking everything that happened, he keeps thinking something terrible could have happened and therefore is still going to happen and so basically he is not enjoying the fact he is sitting at home with his wife and new baby."

I stop speaking and I hear John sigh.

"Don't worry Ana, I'll drop by today, oh and congratulations," Dr Flynn says kindly.

"Thank you," I say gratefully and hang up.

I go into the kitchen and get myself a cup of tea and return to the lounge Christian looks up at me.

"Have you eaten?" he asks and I inwardly smile, even though he is fretting endlessly about the birth he also manages to remember his other neurosis about my eating habits. I immediately feel bad for thinking that way and decide to let it go.

"I have, I had something before I left the hospital," I say.

He nods satisfied. "The children are having breakfast at the moment" I add before he starts worrying about them.

I pick up my phone and call my father and my mother.

"Hello" I hear the sound of Ray's voice and I automatically smile.

"Hi daddy," I say.

"Annie, congratulations, Christian called me last night, he said it was a close run thing is everything ok?" he asks.

"Yes daddy everything is absolutely fine, in fact, I am home," I say confidently.

"I see, well I guess I will come over soon and see my new Grandbaby?" he says.

"You come anytime you want to daddy," I say warmly.

"Ok Annie, does your mother know?" he asks.

"I don't know, I am about to call her," I say, I look at Christian who nods, "I think Christian called her last night" I quickly add.

"I'll let you get on with that then, see you soon," Ray says, I say my goodbyes and he is gone. I call my mother.

"Hi mom," I say tentatively.

"Oh Ana are you alright? Christian called last night to say you had had the baby" she gushes.

"Yes mom I'm fine I'm home now," I say.

"Oh I wish your father was here to see his new grandchild" she starts to cry, I roll my eyes.

"Mom stop it," I say.

"I'm sorry Ana, so, another baby, you will have to come down and see us soon," she says hesitantly.

"I will mom," I say, "listen I have to go now" I add, as I want to get off the phone.

"Bye Ana" she says and with that she is gone.

"Let me guess Carla cried and said she wished your dad was here to see the baby" Christian says his eyebrows raised.

I laugh, "She's that predictable!" I say.

Before I can say another thing my phone buzzes, so I glance at the screen and see its Kate and I quickly answer it.

"Hello," I say.

"Ana are you alright? Grace called Elliott last night to say Christian had called saying you had, had the baby but something had happened?" Kate sounds worried.

"I'm fine, I'm home now, it was a bit of a rush at the end, I nearly gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital," I say with a giggle, I look at Christian and he is frowning.

"Oh my god Ana, I bet Christian nearly exploded at that didn't he?" Kate says amusement in her voice.

"Yes," I say.

"I'm guessing he is there, am I right?" she says.

"Yes," I say again.

"Ok, say no more, can I come and see you both later?" she asks.

"Sure, of course you can" I say and with that, she is gone. As she hangs up Taylor walks in, "Dr Flynn is here sir" he says.

Christian frowns, "Flynn?" he says looking confused.

"I called him," I say and before Christian can respond to that, I turn my attention to Taylor, "Thank you, Taylor, show him in," I say firmly.

I wait and then I stand and greet Dr Flynn as he enters the room.

"Ana, you look wonderful," he says.

"Thank you," I say blushing.

Dr Flynn walks over to Christian who releases a hand and shakes his hand warmly.

"Congratulations Christian, you have no idea how gratifying it is to see you sitting here like this with your daughter."

I watch as John Flynn looks down at Isobel, "She is beautiful Christian," he says with a smile. I see Christian visibly glow with pride at his words.

"Thank you, John, why did you call?" he asks.

"May I sit down Christian?" he says, Christian nods and Flynn sits beside him. "Ana called me, she was concerned about how you handled last nights events and how it is making you behave today, would you like to talk about it?" he asks gently.

Christian looks up and after giving me a brief glance he slowly nods, I stand and go over to him and take our daughter from his arms.

"Why don't you take Dr Flynn to your study Christian?" I say.

Christian stands and leads him away. I stand to watch Christian leave with Flynn, I am holding our baby and as he goes he suddenly turns back.

"Ana, will you join us please baby?" I nod and set off after him.

We go into Christians study and I shut the door quietly.

Christian gestures to a seat and Flynn sits and takes out his notepad and pen, it always amuses me that he still uses paper and pens when there is so much technology out there now. Most doctors I have noticed use tablets but Flynn still likes the old-fashioned approach.

I carefully sit on the sofa and Christian sits beside me, he takes his sleeping daughter from my arms and gazes down at her.

"I was so afraid," he says quietly as he looks down at Isobel.

"Why is that Christian?" Flynn asks gently.

"I was out of control, I couldn't do anything, and I had no idea how to fix things. Ana was in pain and she needed medical help, our baby was coming right there and then and she needed a qualified professional and all they both had was me. Dr Green was on the phone talking me through everything telling me what to do, but I was terrified that I would do something wrong and put either Ana or the baby in danger, I could have lost them both John, if it wasn't for Taylor driving like a maniac we would never have got there in time, and even then we only just managed it. We didn't even make it to the delivery rooms, we were taking into a side consulting room and there was nothing in there, nothing to use if something had happened, what if something had gone wrong? They could have both died." he stops and closes his eyes, he is shaking his head sadly and I realise in a rush this really has upset him.

John touches his arm gently, "But they didn't Christian, everything is fine and you are sitting here holding your daughter with your wife at your side and everything is wonderful," he says with a smile.

"I failed them both" Christian says quietly ignoring everything that John has just said.

"How?" Flynn asks.

"Ana needed me, our daughter needed me, they needed me to be calm and do what had to be done, and I fell apart, I couldn't be what Ana needed, I failed them."

I can't control myself any longer, I reach over and touch Christians arm.

"Christian you didn't fail us at all, you were afraid, any man put in that situation would have been afraid, but when we got into that room you were wonderful, I was scared too, I had no pain relief and it was the first time I had given birth naturally, and you were there for me, you helped me by supporting me as I gave birth to our daughter, you supported me and you were wonderful" I say.

Christian turns and looks at me, he has a sceptical look on his face, so I smile reassuringly at him and nod.

"This morning knocked me for six, I was expecting Ana to be staying in hospital for a bit longer, but when she was discharged it seemed too soon, I was afraid again, afraid that it was too soon, and something terrible would happen, and I would fail them again" Christian adds.

"Christian why are you so convinced you have failed them when Ana had told you categorically that you were a great support to her?" Flynn asks.

"Because I didn't have full control over the situation, I had no idea what to do," he says simply.

There it is, this is the crux of the problem; Christian wasn't in full and complete control.

"Christian you can't control everything we have talked about this, we all know about your control issues but there are times when thing just happen, things which you cannot have complete domination over, babies and natural childbirth is one of them, they come when they are ready and at the speed, they want to. From what you have said and from Ana has said, you behaved in a completely normal way, you were worried for your wife, as things proceeded quicker than was anticipated, you listened to Dr Green and did everything she told you to do, and when Ana needed you most, you were there to support her and help her through the birth. You did everything that was expected of you and you did it well."

Flynn stops and looks carefully at Christian's sceptical reaction.

He takes a deep breath and continues to try and reassure Christian and convince him that he did nothing wrong.

"This morning the doctor felt it was alright for Ana to come home, she is the professional and she would not have made that decision if there had been any question of it not being the right thing to do, just because things happened so quickly and you had no say in how fast it happened doesn't mean you failed, think of it more like you delegated," Flynn grins.

Christians head whips up and he stares at Flynn, this is Christian's language, the language of the business world, I like Flynn's angle, Dr Green decided I was fine to go home, it was her decision to make, not Christians and he is trying to make Christian see that.

"I was just so afraid I was going to lose them both if anything had happened I..." he stops.

"But it didn't," I say "We got there in time and everything was fine, you have the evidence of that lying sleeping in your arms," I say pointing at Isobel.

Christian gently strokes his daughters head and smiles.

"Everything worked out fine," he says eventually and I sigh with relief that he is finally accepting that.

Flynn nods at him, "it did Christian, you did what had to be done, you and Taylor got Ana to the hospital in time, admittedly it was close, but you did it, you supported your wife through childbirth and you are now at home holding your beautiful daughter, I would say you didn't fail you did everything right, and just because you weren't the one to call the shots doesn't detract from that success."

Christian nods, he looks calm now I touch his hand he looks at me "You did good, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there" I say and smile at him.

He nods and I see the tension, panic and worry disappear from around his eyes.

Flynn stands "I think my work here is done," he says, Christian gracefully rises and offers his hand out.

"Thank you, John," he says.

"No problem" Flynn replies.

We show Flynn out and as we shut the door Christian turns to me, "I'm sorry, baby," he says.

"Don't be sorry, everything is fine," I say.

Christian spends the day playing with Ted and Phoebe and watching over Isobel. I leave him to it and go in search of Taylor. I find him in his office, he stands as soon as I enter the room.

"Mrs Grey can I help you?" he asks.

"I just wanted to thank you for getting us to the hospital in time last night," I say quietly.

"No problem ma'am, although I have to say I was worried there for a moment or two, I thought I would have to pull over and help Mr Grey deliver the baby" he smiles.

"You have delivered a baby before?" I ask.

He nods, "when I was in the military, we were on patrol and we came across a young woman in labour we took her the nearest hospital, but the baby was born before we could get there, I delivered her baby myself" he stops, and stares into space as though he is remembering and then he jerks back to the present, "is that all ma'am?" he asks.

I realise I am being dismissed, "Yes Taylor, I just wanted to say thank you," I say.

"No problem ma'am all part of the job," he says.

Kate and Elliot come to visit and so does Grace and Carrick, they all coo over Isobel and Christian visibly glows with pride. We get a phone call from Mia who is distraught that she is away and unable to see her new niece and demands Christian takes photographs and sends them to her immediately, he does as she asks, it makes me smile, nobody has as much influence over Christian than Mia, except maybe his children, all of them manage to twist him around their little fingers, when they ask he is putty in their hands.

Later that evening I stand watching my husband with his children, he has bathed Ted, read him a story and put him to bed and he is now helping Phoebe into her nightdress and as she clambers into her bed she holds up her arms and he hugs her tightly, I come over and kiss her goodnight as Christian settles himself to read her, her story. He hardly starts as she closes her eyes and is sound asleep. He smiles at me and then wanders into our bedroom, and I watch him gazing at Isobel asleep in her crib.

He is such a good father. When he is satisfied all three children are alright, he walks over to me.

"Now Mrs Grey," he says as he takes me in his arms, "you should be in bed asleep too, you need your rest, for when our daughter decides she is hungry in the night".

He is right of course, I need to sleep while Izzy does.

"Are you ok with things now?" I ask him gently.

He nods at me, "Yes... I have to say natural childbirth is a truly magical experience and I'm glad I got to experience it with you".

"On the third attempt," I mutter.

Christian kisses my forehead, "Well you know what they say... three is the magic number!"


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

_Two years later..._

"Well, Mrs Grey, it seems congratulations are in order again!" Dr Green is peering at the now familiar blue coloured stick and she smiles warmly at me.

I am thrilled, of course, and I know Christian will be ecstatic when I tell him, but that instinctual joy is also tinged with something else, this is baby number four; my mind immediately goes back to the day when I discovered I was pregnant with our son Teddy and Christian's subsequent monumental overreaction to the news. His fear and his lack of belief that he could possibly be any sort of father. My mind then flits forward to the complete about turn and his polar opposite reaction when I discovered I was pregnant with Phoebe, the unadulterated joy and happiness that radiated from him as he received the news that he was to be a father again.

Since then, I have given him a third child, another daughter, Isobel Grace who is now 2 years old. I have roughly been giving birth every two years since Teddy, who is now a precocious six years old. I love all my children dearly and would not be without any of them and I am happy about this but I realise what that other emotion is that I am feeling, I've had enough of being pregnant, and I am now seriously thinking this is going to be the last, I don't want to do it again. I feel I have done my fair share of keeping the human race going. I smile to myself, I am pleased but I can't help thinking a small thought of oh no not again, I dismiss my negative thoughts immediately, this is good news, happy news, Christian is going to be thrilled. I take the now familiar leaflets and vitamins, and an appointment for an ultrasound scan and leave Dr Greens office.

I reach the car and Sawyer looks up and smiles warmly at me, I return his smile as I clamber into the back of the car and pull out my phone to call Christian, he answers on the first ring.

"Hi," he says, "Well?" he adds with a tone which says to me tell me now.

"Hi" I reply, "yes, as we suspected I am pregnant" I add.

I sense his beaming smile down the phone. I hadn't been totally sure on this occasion, as the home pregnancy test I had taken had said no, but my own experience in the matter after going through three previous pregnancies and the symptoms I had been experiencing had said otherwise, so I had booked myself in with Dr Green to find out for sure.

"Oh baby," he says with his voice cracking with emotion. "Where are you now, and have you eaten?" he adds.

I roll my eyes and sigh "I'm in the car, Sawyer is driving me back to work, I have a meeting with Boyce about his latest novel and we are having a working lunch, OK?" I wait for Christian's reply.

"OK" he says, seemingly pacified by my response, "I know when you are rolling your eyes at me, and take it easy baby and make sure you get enough to eat at your working lunch," he adds in his no-nonsense tone, there is a pause before he says "I have to go now baby, see you later".

"I love you," I say to him and hear his sharp intake of breath.

"I love you too baby... with all my heart," he says in that voice which makes me melt inside.

**oooOOOooo**

I am feeling completely exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open as Sawyer drives me home, I glance at the bouquet of beautiful white roses which is beside me in the car, they had arrived at the office, mid-afternoon, and I knew straight away who they were from, before I even looked at the card.

I take the card from my purse and read it again.

_Ana,_  
_Once again you have made me the happiest man alive, _  
_you and our children are my life,_  
_Thank you, C xxx_

I smile and run my finger over the words, I recognise my husband's writing, and he wrote this personally. As we turn into our driveway, my mind wanders again and as I get out of the car Taylor pulls up in the other SUV and Christian leaps out, grabs me in his arms and holds me close to him, he buries his nose in my hair and I run my hands through his and as he lifts his head up and smiles at me I plant a soft kiss on his lips.

It sometimes amuses me, his near desperation for me, anyone would think he hadn't seen me for a month the way he behaves after just a few hours of separation on a workday, but the deep seated reasons for the way he behaves are no joke.

He and Taylor normally pick me up from work, but today he'd had an important meeting in Portland so we came home separately.

We are interrupted by squeals and shouts as Teddy and Phoebe charge towards us and Isobel stands at the front door watching as Christian lifts Phoebe up in his arms and ruffles Teddy's hair.

As we get closer, Isobel lifts her arms up, she is almost beside herself with excitement and shouts 'daddy up!' Christian grins down at her and after placing Phoebe carefully back on her feet swings his youngest daughter up in the air and hugs her tightly. She giggles and flings her arms around his neck. I watch smiling to myself, Christian is a wonderful father and all our children adore him.

"Hi, Gail," I say, as we walk into our huge kitchen.

"Hello Mrs Grey" she replies and looks questioningly at me, I smile and give her a little nod, she returns my smile, with a huge one of her own.

"Oh lovely, congratulations to you both" she adds, with total sincerity.

Christian grins smugly looking like the cat that got the cream, "thanks, Gail" he says.

After a delicious Chicken Stew, I am really having difficulty staying awake, I don't remember ever being this tired with my other pregnancies, I was tired, but tonight I feel totally drained. Christian looks hard at me, the anxiety clear in his eyes.

"What's wrong Ana?" he asks.

"Nothing, I'm just tired" I reply.

I suddenly remember my scan appointment, it is 2 days from now, "Oh, by the way, I have a date for my first scan the day after tomorrow at 10 am" I say.

"I'll clear my schedule" Christian replies reaching for his phone, he pushes a speed dial button and waits, "Andrea, clear my schedule on Thursday morning until lunchtime... yes... that can wait... no... That can wait too, that's fine, thank you Andrea, goodnight," he tosses his phone on to the table and pulls me into his arms.

After the children are all in bed, I go to the library and try to read through some manuscripts, but all the words are running into one another and in the end I give it up. I leave and go to look for Christian and find him in his office, he turns and smiles at me as I stand in the doorway.

"I'm going to bed, I feel so tired," I say.

Christian frowns at me but nods, and then he comes towards me and folds me in his arms and places his hand on my stomach, and plants a small kiss on my nose.

"Okay," he says, "you do look very tired, and you are also very pale, do you feel ok?" he adds, searching my face.

"Yes I'm fine, but I am feeling a bit sick, so I guess the morning sickness is starting," I reply as I remember how I had morning sickness in the evenings with Phoebe. I touch his cheek with my fingers and he leans into my touch and kisses me again.

"Go on, go to bed, and sleep," he says "Get your rest" he adds and releases me, still looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"Are you coming?" I ask.

"Not yet baby" he replies, "I have something I need to finish first, and as much as I would like to come to bed with you, you are tired and need to sleep"

I turn and leave his study and make my way to bed, with a wave of nausea sweeping over me.

The next morning, I lie in bed feeling like I have been run over by a bus, I have been up most of the night throwing up, I am bone tired and I just want to stay in bed, I have never had morning sickness this bad before, Christian is by my side, the worry and tension is radiating off him in waves, he holds my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles.

"You are not going to work today" he states firmly, I sigh and heave myself to a sitting position.

"Christian I am not an invalid, I am pregnant, alright I admit that I haven't had morning sickness this bad before, but it will pass and I have too much to do at work to be taking time off, I won't be in tomorrow morning, so I have to go today".

I look up into his worried face. He sighs and shakes his head.

"If you feel at all unwell, you will come home instantly - Sawyer will stay with you, and I'm not having any argument about it," he says glaring me, he is almost daring me to argue with him. I feel so wretched that I don't have it in me to argue so I touch his face and smile.

"Alright" I concede and he visibly relaxes.

I try and force some breakfast down me, but as we travel to work I begin to wish I hadn't bothered, my stomach is churning and I really want to throw up, I arrive and head straight for the restroom where I deposit my breakfast into the toilet. I steady myself against the wall of the cubicle and take a deep breath, I still feel sick and I really am beginning to wish I had stayed at home. I give myself a mental shake, I'm pregnant, I've done this three times previously, I just need to try and pull myself together. I take a deep breath and steadily make my way to my office.

By about 11 am I am expecting to feel better, but I really don't, I just feel nauseous all the time and I am afraid to eat anything in case I bring it back. I struggle on until after lunchtime but after yet another rush to the restroom after eating my lunch I finally decide to throw in the towel. I make my way to the reception, where Sawyer leaps to his feet and he looks concerned; do I really look that bad?

"I want to go home" I mutter, inwardly cringing at how pathetic I sound, but Sawyer just smiles kindly at me,

"Sure" he replies, "Just wait here while I..." he doesn't finish his sentence, because everything is spinning, I am feeling light headed and really sick. I feel Sawyer grab me as my legs give way and he sits me down. I am vaguely aware of what's going on around me but I just feel so ill, as I try and focus I hear Sawyer on his phone.

"T, I am taking Mrs Grey to the hospital she is really sick... yes... no she's conscious now... I'll meet you both there".

I feel him gently shake my arm, "Mrs Grey, can you hear me I am going to take you to the hospital" I nod not caring what happens as I just feel too ill.

The journey to the hospital doesn't take long; I am curled up in the back of the SUV and I am talking to Christian on my phone. It seemed like Sawyer had barely hung up when my phone started to ring. It was Christian of course, and predictably he was beside himself, he assured me that he had dropped everything and was on his way and would meet us at the hospital, I thought that would be all, but here I am still talking to him, on route. But it's helping me and is oddly comforting talking to Christian as while I am trying to reassure him it's taking my mind off the nausea threatening to consume me.

The car pulls up at the hospital and before it's even stopped, the door is opening and Christian is leaning inside towards me. I give him a weak smile.

"Hi" I murmur, before pushing him out of the way and promptly throwing up once again outside the car. Christian stares at me, totally speechless but with obvious concern.

I grab Christian's hand as I try to get out of the car, but my legs feel like jelly and they just give way, Christian reacts immediately and he grabs me before I hit the ground and lifts me effortlessly into his arms, and strides towards the doors. I feel so weak and ill I don't protest about him carrying me and I lean my head into his neck and close my eyes.

"I've got you," he says to me his voice thick with worry as he holds me close.

Dr Green is waiting for us and her mouth drops open when she sees me, I am whisked straight to a private room and given a bowl, I smile weakly and try and mutter a word of thanks, but it is lost as I lean forward and throw up yet again, I sense someone taking the bowl away but I just want to go to sleep.

After what seems like hours of various tests, and an unbelievable amount of vomiting we know why I am feeling and being so ill. Twins! We sit and stare at the little ultrasound picture on the screen two separate little blobs, plus I am further along than I realised, Dr Green estimates about 8/10 weeks. I am trying to get my head around this, twins. But it accounts for the fact why my clothes are feeling more than a little tight already. I glance at Christian who appears to be totally dumbfounded, his eyes are fixed on the two little blurry figures on the screen.

"This why you have been so ill Mrs Grey, extreme morning sickness or to give it its correct title - Hyperemesis Gravidarum is very common with twins, but I assure you it will pass with time, but for now we are going to keep you in overnight under observation, you are severely dehydrated from the vomiting, which isn't helping matters and we need to sort that out before we even think about discharging you".

"But why is it only starting now, if I am further along than I thought, morning sickness was one of the first symptoms I had with Phoebe and Isobel?" I ask.

Dr Green shakes her head, "Every pregnancy is different, some women don't suffer at all, some suffer throughout, some don't start with the nausea until later on, everyone is different, you were fine until last night, it's just one of those things" she says.

Two days later the sickness is finally under control and I am well enough to go home, and I cannot wait to see my children again, Christian has been brilliant, he has split his time with me and with our children making sure he was there to put them to bed and to read them their bedtime stories as he always does.

Christian is quiet as we make our way home from the hospital, as soon as I saw him this morning I knew something was amiss.

"Christian what's worrying you?" I ask squeezing his hand, he is lost in thought somewhere and I want him to tell me what's bothering him.

"Welch phoned me last night..." he pauses and looks at me hesitating mid-sentence.

"And..." I reply urging him to tell me what has happened.

"Jack Hyde has been released from prison, early parole for good behaviour" his tone is bitter and sarcastic, and I shiver as memories of that horrible day 7 years ago when I shot Jack. Christian folds me into his arms, and kisses my head.

"Don't worry baby, that fucker will not hurt you, Welch is having him watched, and he has a restraining order on him, he can't come anywhere near any of us, but you need to know that security will be stepped up now he is back on the streets, but if he puts one foot out of place he will be sorry".

I nod in silent acceptance of this inevitability.

We arrive home and we are immediately welcomed by Phoebe and Isobel, who both hug me tightly.

"Mommy, back!" Isobel squeals in delight jumping up and down, I pick her up and hug her tightly, before she spots Christian and immediately holds her arms out to him. I pass her over and then crouch to give Phoebe a hug.

"Why did you go?" she asks me staring up at me with Grey eyes just like her fathers, she favours me in looks but her hair and eye colour are all Christian.

"I was feeling sick and had to see a doctor" I explain as simply as I can "When Ted comes home from school, daddy and I have something to tell you all". Phoebe is satisfied with that answer and runs to Christian and flings her arms around his leg. 

Just at that moment, the door burst open and Ted comes running in closely followed by Ryan who has collected him from school. His face lights up as he sees me and he rushes to me, smiling widely.

"Hello, baby boy," I say as he rushes into my arms.

"Hello mommy – do you feel better now?" he asks me, I am surprised at his question and look at Christian before smiling back at him.

"Yes darling, I am thank you" I reply.

Satisfied by the fact both parents are back at home and everything is back to normal our children disappear out of the room leaving Christian and I alone.

"How did Ted know?" I ask Christian.

"He overheard me talking to mom last night, when I came home to put them to bed," he explains. "Mom has been coming and spending time with them in the evening while I was at the hospital to give Gail a break", he adds.

Just at that moment Gail walks in and I turn to her and embrace her warmly, she seems surprised by my actions.

"Thank you for taking care of my children," I say.

"It's my pleasure Mrs Grey and there is no need to thank me as you know I love to do it. How are you feeling now?" She looks at me carefully, as though she is assessing me.

I smile "Much better thank you" I say politely.

Just as I am thinking things can return to normal, I see Ryan hovering around in the doorway looking serious.

"Erm, welcome home Mrs Grey," he says "Could I have a word please Mr Grey, sir" he adds and although I try and tell myself everything is fine I can't help but think he seems rather nervous about something.

Christian frowns and leads Ryan into his study, moments later I hear him bellowing down the phone to Welch.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING THAT FUCKER WATCHED!" I freeze and glance at Gail who discreetly leaves the room.

"THEN TELL ME, HOW THE HELL DID HE MANAGE TO GET TO MY SONS SCHOOL!?... IF YOU LET ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPEN AGAIN YOU ARE FIRED DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! ..."

I go cold, and without waiting to be asked I walk into Christians office, he is standing with his back to me running his hand through his hair, he spins on the spot and glares at me, his face softens as soon as he sees that it is me and in a more measured tone says, "Yes... 24/7 from today" then he hangs up and throws his phone on the desk.

"What's happened?" I ask, and I realise that was a stupid question as soon as the words leave my mouth, as I have already heard the answer when Christian was shouting.

"When Ryan picked Ted up from school, Hyde was hanging around the gate watching, and he approached Ted, but thankfully Ryan got to him first" Christian says.

He is pacing and running his hands through his hair, as this has understandably wound him up.

I am shocked and immediately terrified, Jack still wants revenge not only for the fact Christian was adopted by Grace and Carrick instead of him, but also for what I did too when I shot him. I run to Christian and put my arms around him. He buries his nose in my hair and gently kisses my head.

"Don't worry baby" he says "I won't let that fucker hurt any of you."

**oooOOOooo**

We are sitting in our lounge, with our children, who are all in their pyjamas ready for bed, Christian is now calm after his earlier outburst and I am just feeling nauseous again after yet another bout of vomiting.

Ted and Phoebe are sitting quietly, looking expectantly at Christian while Isobel is playing happily on his lap.

"We have some news for you, mommy is going to have another baby, but this time she is going to have twins!" he says to them.

Ted looks less than enthusiastic about the news; Phoebe looks excited but also a little confused.

"Mommy, what're twins?" she asks, looking at me.

"Two babies at once," Ted says before I can answer.

"There are twins in my class, they look exactly the same" he adds.

I smile at Ted, "That's right Ted, sometimes though they can look different, they are called Fraternal Twins but sometimes twins can be the same and then they are called identical twins".

Ted smiles weakly and climbs off the sofa, "Daddy will you read me a story please, I'm going to bed?"

"Sure" Christian replies, he glances at me with a worried look on his face, and then he follows his son out of the room.

When he returns he is smiling. "Poor Ted," he says "He doesn't want another sister he wants you to have a boy so he will have a brother, but he's now worried that if its twin boys they will only play with each other – as apparently that is what the twins in his class are like, they don't interact with the other children and only play with each other."

I giggle, "Oh bless him" I reply, and then I sigh, and broach a subject I have been wondering about for a few days now.

"Christian... after this time, I really don't want any more children, I... what I mean is... erm..." I stop and gaze up at him, and he smiles.

"Don't worry baby, I understand what you are saying and that's fine after all I think we have more than done our fair share of keeping the human race going, don't worry about it, I'll take care of it."

He kisses me and as we kiss the deep stirrings of desire awake inside me only to be quelled my another wave of nausea, I push Christian away and run to the bathroom, he follows me and holds my hair while I vomit again.

**oooOOOooo**

Things continue like this for a few weeks, security is tight, Ryan is continually assigned to Ted, while Prescott is stationed at home with Gail and the girls. I am working from home for the time being so Sawyer is also a fixture around the house. Thankfully, there have been no further sightings of Jack, but it makes me feel a little uneasy knowing he is out there somewhere. It seems quiet at the moment and for that I am thankful, also finally I am beginning to feel better and the constant sickness has started to subside to something more manageable.

Gail is in the kitchen preparing some of her delicious Bolognese sauce and for the first time in ages I feel my mouth water when I smell it, I sit at the breakfast counter and watch her.

"Gail that smells delicious, I don't suppose I could have some now can I - with some bread?" I ask eagerly.

Gail beams at me, "Of course Mrs Grey I will dish some up for you, I must say you have been looking much better these last few days."

"I am thank you, I think I have finally turned the corner" I run my hand across my swelling stomach "I can't believe how big I am getting already, I know there are two in there but two what... baby elephants!?" We both laugh but my laughter comes to an abrupt end as I pause as I feel a twinge, and I let out a small gasp.

"Are you ok?" Gail asks immediately.

I wait and nothing else happens and I smile at her, "Yes I'm fine, just a twinge" I say and I focus my attention and tuck into the bowl of Bolognese in front of me.

The next day I am sitting in my office at work, Christian has called twice and emailed me checking up on me and establishing all is well after I had mentioned my odd pain yesterday and I am happy to report to him that all _is_ well today as I haven't had any further pains other than a slight tightening sensation this morning as I climbed out of the shower.

I go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea, while humming quietly to myself, suddenly pain radiates around my stomach and I drop my cup and it smashes on the floor – I know this pain, but its too soon, far too soon, I am only 24 weeks, I sit down taking deep breaths as Hannah comes running in, closely followed by Sawyer, both alerted by the sound of the cup smashing.

"Ana are you ok?" she asks looking at me.

I glance up and in between the sharp pains I look pleadingly at Sawyer and murmur one word.

"Christian" I say.

His response is immediate, he nods and he dials Christian's number.

"Sir, I think you need to come to Grey Publishing now, its Mrs Grey, I think she has gone into labour... yes sir..."

He holds out his phone to me, "Mrs Grey, Mr Grey wants to speak to you" he says kindly, I nod and take the phone from him.

"Thank you, Luke," I say.

I focus my attention on the phone, all I want is my husband here with me and that is evident when I speak. "Christian, I need you, it's too soon" I gasp as another pain grips me .

"I am on my way baby I will be with you in about 15 minutes" I can tell from his voice that he is running, I try and relax and as I do so I feel suddenly very wet".

"I think you had better hurry, I think my waters have just broken," I say.

"Shit, it's too soon!" he mutters, repeating my earlier words and then in a louder voice he adds "I am getting in the car now."

I sit with my eyes shut counting the contractions and breathing when the door bursts open and Christian is there, he is on his knees beside me, as he helps me to my feet he blanches as does Hannah and Sawyer. I look round, and I see it isn't water on the chair its blood. Christian carefully lifts me into his arms and before I know it we are on our way to the hospital.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting in the hospital bed feeling a mixture of emotions, guilt, extreme sorrow and grief and also anger, why did this happen? I want answers, why did this have to happen, what did I do wrong to cause this?

Christian is at my side he is clutching my hand, as tears start to pour down my cheeks. I have miscarried one of my babies – it was a little boy, I had held him in my hand and he was so small, so perfect but just tiny, too tiny to survive. Christian and I had said goodbye to him and Christian had assured me that we would give him a proper burial and that he would not be forgotten.

I touch my stomach and I get some small comfort from the fact that my other baby, also a boy is hanging in there, and at this moment in time is doing ok. It seems the placenta had somehow come detached and that was it game over. Fortunately, they each had their own placenta which means my other baby boy is safe for now. I have been told that I am on strict bed rest and I absentmindedly run my hand over my stomach once more.

I glance at Christian "I'm sorry" I whisper.

He looks at me and I see the pain and grief in his eyes but he reaches for me and pulls me close.

"Hey don't be silly, it wasn't your fault" he says, he is gutted I can tell by his demeanour but he is trying to be strong for me.

I have no idea how long we sit like that Christian just holding me and me holding him in complete silence. We are distracted as the door opens and we look round to see who it is. I watch as Grace comes in, she puts her hand on Christians shoulder and he reaches up with his and touches it then she leans over and gently hugs me.

"Oh Ana I am so sorry," she says.

Her words are my undoing and I sob uncontrollably. Grace doesn't hesitate and she sits beside me and folds me into her arms and she rocks me like a child as I unload my grief on to her and as I do so my mind goes back to earlier where I held my tiny baby son.

"We saw him and we said goodbye to him and we are going to give him a proper burial" I stammer between the sobs. Grace nods, gently stroking my hair.

I push away from her suddenly and she immediately releases me, "I like the name Matthew, he deserves a name he was our son, I want to call him Matthew," I say firmly.

I look at Christian, "Do you like the name Matthew?" I ask and Christian offers a weak forced smile and he nods.

"Yes baby, Matthew is a lovely name, I love it." he whispers, and I hear his voice crack with emotion as he says it.

Grace smiles awkwardly, I am certain she isn't sure what to say "That's a lovely name" she says eventually.

I look at Christian again, he is quiet – too quiet, and as I look at him I see the tears in his eyes, his eyes are glistening and he keeps blinking rapidly trying to hide his grief, then he sees me watching him and as our eyes meet and we both move at the same time, both needing the other for comfort and reassurance and as we move, our bodies crash together and the moment they touch it's as if a dam has burst and we are holding on each other as if our lives depend on it, both of us totally inconsolable in our loss as we both let out anguished cries of grief, I hear Christian let out an angry 'why?' and I grip him tightly as that word has been continually circling around in my head. We cry floods of tears on to each other and Christian has now given up all pretence of being stoic and strong for me and seeing him in this raw state oddly gives me strength and comfort, as seeing his distress doesn't make me feel so alone in my own grief as I know from seeing him losing his control that I am not feeling this crippling pain and grief alone. We just continue to hold each other and cry and as we do so we don't even notice as Grace slips quietly from the room.

**oooOOOooo**

_One month later..._

A month later and I still feel numb, I am also feeling guilty for having had negative thoughts about my precious babies when I first became pregnant and again when I discovered it was twins. I feel guilty for when I told Christian I wanted no more children, and I feel that I am being punished for my negativity. There also seems to be a rational voice in there telling me I'm being silly and it was nature's way and nobody's fault. The trouble is I am not really listening to it, I have become an island going through the motions of life but not really being a part of it.

Christian is doing his best to take care of me, but I know he is at a loss, and he feels as bad as I do, we are both taking it one day at a time, and focussing on the fact at least we still have one baby. Under normal circumstances I would be going stir crazy and fighting against the strict induced rest programme I have been given, but I am religiously obeying it, I couldn't bear to go through anything like that again, I will do whatever it takes, whatever I have to do to keep my surviving baby safe until its time for him to be born.

I am sitting on the sofa, going through a pile of paperwork I have been sent, when Ted comes in from school, he comes over and gives me a hug.

"Hello, baby boy!" I say folding him into my arms.

Ted looks at me, with those blue eyes so like mine, he looks troubled.

"What's wrong darling?" I ask him, he climbs up onto the sofa next to me and leans against me.

"Mommy is it my fault Matthew died?" he asks me, my heart twists in shock at his words, oh my poor little man, I have been so wrapped up in my own grief I have failed to see that my son has been struggling too.

But why on earth would he think that it's his fault?

"Oh Ted, sweetheart, don't ever think that, but why would you? It was just an accident, Matthew wasn't meant to be born, it was just how things happen sometimes".

I am mortified that my little boy feels guilty about this and I will him to tell me what makes him believe such a thing.

Ted snuggles closer.

"It's just... you know that night when daddy told us you were having another baby and that it was twins, well I told him I didn't want another sister, I mean I love Pheebs and Izzy but I can't really play with them like I do with my friends at school... because... well, because they are girls and I was worried because the twins in my class they don't play with anyone else, so I didn't want you to have twins... and... and now you're not."

He stops speaking and puts his head down.

My heart feels like it's being torn in two, oh my precious boy, so traumatised and I have been too wrapped up in myself to notice. I pull him close and reassure him the best I can that it had nothing to do with what he thought and said.

I pull him closer and gently stroke his hair, I lift his chin so he is looking me straight in the eye and take a deep breath, how the hell do I explain this to a six-year-old? In the end I think honesty is best, and hopefully put in a way he can understand.

"Listen Ted, I know you are very young and probably don't understand what's going on but you are a very clever boy so I am going to explain it to you the best I can, you are NOT to blame, just because you thought what you did and said what you did, doesn't make things happen. What really happened was mommy's tummy couldn't cope with having two babies in there at the same time, and something went wrong, that's all, so it's nobody's fault ok?!"

Ted looks me in the eye, relaxes and smiles, and with that reassurance, he is satisfied, and he jumps down and runs to his room. I watch him go and I am amazed how resilient kids are.

Now I have the added guilt that I let my son suffer for so long; perhaps I should start taking my own advice. I think about what I have just told him, it's nobody's fault, but why can't I believe that as easily as Ted has done?

I look up pulled from my thoughts and I see Christian is standing quietly in the doorway, he smiles at me.

"I came home early, I was listening to what you said to Ted, I didn't come in until he had gone, as I didn't want to disturb the moment, I didn't realise he felt so bad," he says with a frown.

In a few short strides he is beside me on the sofa and pulls me into his arms, he puts his hand on my stomach and gently caresses my bump.

I close my eyes and silence washes over us for a few moments and then Christian speaks.

"I think we should start taking that advice you gave to Ted, it was nobody's fault" he presses his forehead against mine and plants a sweet kiss on my nose.

Tears well in my eyes and for the first time since we lost Matthew I fight it, and at that moment I start to feel a tiny bit better, it will take a long time until I accept that it wasn't something I did, but at least now I am starting the healing process, I have to, I have three children who need me and then one who I have to keep safe until its time for him to be born. I have to stop wallowing in my own self-pity.

I take a big sniff and smile at Christian; I have an idea which I think will do us all the world of good, we need a change of scenery. I have already run it past Dr Green and she has no objections to my plan and she thinks it will help, she has given me all the information I need should something happen but she assured me that as long as I continue to take it easy there was no reason why we can't do what I am about to suggest.

"Christian, it's the weekend now, can we go somewhere, get a change of scenery just the six of us?" I touch my stomach as I say that.

"Where do you want to go, baby?" Christian asks.

"I thought we could perhaps spend the weekend in Aspen, you could take Ted fishing and we could just ...you know..."

"That, my darling, is a fantastic idea, but is it safe for you to fly?" Christian asks warily.

I nod and tell him that I have already cleared it with Dr Green.

Christian beams at me upon hearing that and leaps to his feet and fishes his phone from his pocket, he dials a number and waits.

"Stephan, I need you and Beighley fly us to Aspen tomorrow, I know its short notice... thank you... 10 am from Sea Tac... yes, thanks again" he looks at me and smiles "Sorted!" I stand and fling my arms around him and kiss him soundly, the kiss deepens but then he pushes me away.

"No Ana I can't, I am so desperate to make love to you but you know we can't... not yet" he places his hand on my stomach again.

I am 34 weeks pregnant now not much longer to wait, I am amazed and marvel how much self-control Christian has over his body, but I have noticed he has been working out twice as much as he did before I had my miscarriage. It must be torture for him, I haven't even given our sex life any thought these past months I just haven't wanted to know and Christian has just accepted that.

He looks at me, and I know he is going to say something "I have made an appointment with Dr Harrison, he was recommended by Dr Green" he says watching for my reaction, I am afraid.

"Why Christian, what's wrong?" I am panicking now.

"I am going to have a vasectomy, I can't risk putting you through this again," he pulls me close again, "You and the children are my life Ana, and this miscarriage nearly destroyed you, it has affected Ted, I won't let it happen again".

Tears are in his eyes, and I can see that he blames himself as much I blame myself, but in a different way.

"Christian, have you talked to Flynn about any of this?" I ask.

He nods at me; I had refused to talk to Dr Flynn despite Christians pleading. I needed to work things out in my own head. I reach out and touch my beloved husbands face.

"Thank you" I whisper, "But you have nothing to feel guilty about, it's not your fault."

I pause and smile at the irony of what I am about to say, "It just happened, its nobody's fault".

Christian gives me his beautiful shy smile, "We will get past this" he says, "we will never forget Matthew, nor will we want to, but we will get past it... eventually."

I try to lighten the mood between us, and I know just the thing, I call the children.

"Phoebe, Teddy can you both come down here a moment, just as I shout, the door swings open and Isobel comes charging into the room.

"DADDY" she shrieks as soon as she lays eyes on Christian, I move to avoid being trampled in the stampede and laugh as she flings herself at Christian. She is truly a daddy's girl, all our children adore Christian but there seems to be something special between Christian and Isobel, she worships him.

"Hello my darling girl" Christian lifts Isobel into his arms and she flings her small arms around his neck and kisses him soundly on the cheek. Christian laughs just then Ted and Phoebe arrive, I search Ted's face but he now looks carefree and happy, and seeing that makes me feel so relieved.

"Hi, gang!" Christian smiles and they both run to him and hug him tightly, I lean across and we all stand in one huge group hug and it feels so good.

"Listen, I have something to tell you," he says.

Christian untangles himself from the children and pulling me closer he sits down on the sofa and as soon as he is sitting down Isobel jumps straight into his lap and clings to him like a limpet.

"We are all going to Aspen for the weekend; does that sound like a good idea?" he says looking at the three small faces in front of him.

Phoebe and Ted's faces light up like Christmas, and they cheer loudly, while Izzy bounces on Christians lap clapping her hands.

"I think that's a unanimous yes" I say with an amused look at my children.

I turn my attention to Christian who is smiling at my reaction.

"I think it will do you the power of good, this is the first time I have seen you smile properly in the last few months, it will be good for us all," he says and he holds me close and kisses me gently.

As he pulls away I notice we are now alone, Isobel, Teddy and Phoebe have all vanished and Christian takes advantage of that and pulls me into his lap as he does so we hear a distant cry.

"DADDY!" The voices from upstairs disturb our moment, and I can't help but giggle.

"Oh I so love that sound, and I haven't heard it for so long," he says and he leans in for another kiss.

"I think you are wanted, daddy!" I say, as I hear what sounds like a herd of elephants thundering down the stairs.

Christian releases me and leaves the room. I follow and there are Ted and Phoebe standing with their cases packed, Christian gently takes them from them and opens them and he laughs loudly.

"Erm, I think you are going to need a bit more than your dolly sweetheart," he says to Phoebe.

He looks inside Ted's, "and I think we might need to rearrange yours as well".

"Now daddy, let's do it now!" Phoebe squeals pulling Christian towards the stairs, Christian laughs again and allows himself to be dragged upstairs. Gail appears smiling, watching as Christian is led away.

"I think I'll go and help too," she says.

I nod in agreement and follow her upstairs.

**oooOOOooo**

I am standing silently watching my children beside themselves with excitement, they are helping (in the loosest sense of the word) Taylor load the bags into the car. It always makes me stop and think that my children want for nothing, they are 6, 4 and 2 and they are all seasoned travellers by plane, helicopter and boat, at that age I hadn't even been on a plane for the first time!

Izzy is running around bursting with excitement, "Daddy plane, daddy plane, daddy plane" she keeps repeating over and over, Christian strides out and whips her up in his arms.

"Daddy plane!" she says to him and he laughs freely.

"Well, we have to go in the car first," he says as he reaches in and fastens her into her car seat. Ted and Phoebe clamber into their seats and Christian and I take our places in the car.

"DADDY PLANE, LOOK" Izzy squeals as we drive on to the tarmac at Sea-Tac, awaiting us is Christians GEH jet.

She wriggles and struggles as Christian unfastens her and lifts her into his arms. Ted and Phoebe are already halfway up the steps closely followed by Taylor who is carrying the bags.

A car pulls up behind ours and I glance over, and see it's Sawyer and Ryan. I am not upset by this I knew it would happen, and I understand, since losing Matthew I have a greater empathy for Christians pathological over-protectiveness, and with Jack still out there somewhere, I am just happy we are so well protected. I walk slowly towards the steps of the plane and steadily climb up them.

"Mrs Grey, you are looking well," Stephan says politely as he smiles and shakes my hand, I return the smile and thank him quietly.

Christian follows me in and shakes Stephan by the hand, "thanks for doing this" he says.

Izzy puts out her small hand to Stephan copying her father "fank you" she says with a serious look on her face, Stephan smiles and gently shakes Izzy's small hand.

"You are very welcome Isobel," he says, everyone laughs. I hear a familiar laugh and swing round to the seats behind me, it can't be, sitting in front of me is my beloved stepfather.

"DADDY" I squeal, happy tears immediately streaming down my cheeks, "What, When?" I stammer as I lurch towards him.

"Hey Annie, Christian phoned me last night, invited me to come fishing, now you know that's an offer I can't refuse!" my stepfather stands and hugs me in a rare show of affection. I sit beside him holding his hand.

"Oh dad, it's so good to see you," I say as the tears continue to fall.

I haven't spoken to him since I lost Matthew, I haven't spoken to anyone really but I know he has been in contact with Christian, but he has left me the space and time to think things out for myself, I am so glad he is here as I finally feel ready to talk to him about everything that has happened.

Izzy sees my father and immediately leans towards him, "Gamdad" she squeals.

Christian steps forward and lowers Izzy onto Ray's lap.

"Hello munchkin!" my father says as he bounces her on his knee, Phoebe comes up behind my father and puts her arms around his neck, and Ted is sitting on the other side of him, with his small hand on his arm.

I know my father finds all this attention a bit overwhelming but he doesn't show it, as he adores his grandchildren.

Before we know it we are landing in Aspen, the flight has gone well and despite Christian watching me like a hawk throughout the journey, I am feeling good. I was right, this is exactly what we all need and for the first time in what seems like forever I don't feel as though I am walking around in a fog and I am actually looking forward to this.

I am sitting quietly in the lounge, reading. Phoebe is in the kitchen with Carmella baking a cake for tea. Izzy is playing with my father outside, on the swing that Christian and Elliot built, and Christian and Ted have gone fishing. I was surprised my father didn't go with them, but he assured me he would be joining them later. I think this was Christian's idea, he wanted some time alone with Ted and he wanted to make sure I wasn't left alone – just in case.

I put my book down and my mind starts wandering back in time to the births of my children, Ted's birth, the emergency caesarean, Phoebe the calmer elective caesarean. Izzy had to be different of course, we had a planned elective caesarean booked but Izzy had decided she couldn't wait. I still remember the panic as Christian and Taylor drove me to the hospital in the dead of night after my waters had broken, by the time we got there Izzy was nearly here and it was too late for a caesarean in fact it has been so close I'd nearly had her in the car on route to the hospital, as it was I only just managed to get inside before she'd been born. I had finally managed to deliver a baby myself. I smile at least I managed to give birth naturally once, my thoughts darken as I remember Matthew, he had been delivered naturally, I shake my head determined not to go in that direction. 

My thoughts are disturbed by my son running in and he is full of excitement.

"Mommy I caught a fish," he says proudly, "come and see!"

He grabs my hand and pulls, I get up and follow him out.

"Oh wow! You caught that Ted, well done" I say as I look at the large fish in the back of the truck, I glance at Christian who is beaming with pride at his son.

My father appears around the corner with Izzy in his arms.

"Granddad look at what I caught," Ted says running to my father, Ray walks towards the truck and looks in.

"Well done Ted, that's a beauty; shall we go again later and see if we can catch another one?"

Ted nods enthusiastically, "daddy didn't catch one so we have to go again so he can get one too".

We all laugh at that totally serious remark and I glance at Christian who shakes his head.

The day passes too quickly and it has been a real tonic for us all, I have managed to get to talk to my father about everything that has happened and it has made me feel a lot better about things. I still blame myself, I think it will take a long time for that feeling to go, if ever, but now I am starting to feel happier about things.

Christian and Ted have spent some quality father and son time together, which I know did them both good, Christian never did catch a fish, my father caught three and Ted, well, his one seemed to get bigger every time he talked about it!

I am watching my family sitting around the table as we wait for tea; we are heading back to Seattle tomorrow. Carmella and Phoebe come in together and Phoebe is carrying the cake she and Carmella made and she proudly places it on the table.

"Look what I made," she says "it's chocolate" she adds and glances at Christian, "because chocolate cake is your favourite daddy".

"And mine!" Ted calls out.

Christian immediately gives Phoebe a massive smile and envelopes her in a bear hug, thanking her for the cake.

We all look at the very over-decorated cake, Phoebe has gone mad with the frosting and sprinkles. Christian fetches his camera and takes a photograph of the cake, and then Carmella puts the plate into Phoebe's hands and Christian takes another photo.

"There," he says "I now have a photo of Ted with his fish and Phoebe with her cake, what clever children I have!"

"I think we had better have some of this cake," I say.

"Ooh, cake!" Izzy says and we all laugh.

**oooOOOooo**

All too soon we are back in Seattle. Sawyer has taken my father home and as we are driving home we drive past Escala and I idly gaze out of the window, suddenly I freeze, as I see Jack Hyde. I place my hand on Christian's arm as I see the familiar figure idly watching the building.

"Christian look," I whisper, seeing him lurking reminds me of the time when Stephen Morton was hassling us and I caught sight of him creeping around in the shadows outside properties belonging to us.

Christian swings his head around to where I am pointing and scowls, he fishes out his phone and dials a number and he looks livid.

"Welch, Hyde is outside Escala, what are you going to do about it?" he hisses into the phone, I shudder at his tone; I know he is trying to keep his temper in check and his voice even to avoid waking our children who are sleeping peacefully in their seats.

He listens, "Right... well as long as you are... goodnight" he hangs up.

He turns to me, "Its ok baby, Welch knows he is there and he is being watched, he won't get anywhere near us." 

I nod but I am worried now, I just can't help it.

We arrive home, and the children are put to bed, I am sitting on the sofa, absentmindedly caressing my bump as Christian walks in on me, and frowns, he sits down beside me.

"What's wrong Ana? Don't let that fucker spoil our wonderful weekend."

I turn and look at him and smile, "No, it was just a shock seeing him again after all this time, that's all."

Christian nods, "I'm sure it was, but don't worry, I will keep you and this little one safe!" and he pulls me into his arms and kisses my forehead, and places his hand over mine on my stomach.

I try to change the subject. "What did you and Ted talk about while you were fishing yesterday?" I ask casually.

Christian smiles, "That son of ours has an old head on his shoulders, some of the things he comes out with."

I look at Christian, willing him to tell me more. He looks at me debating whether or not to tell me.

"He asked me if I was sad Matthew had died" he whispers.

I take a sharp breath in as I hear that, "What did you say?" I reply hardly daring to breathe.

"I told him that of course I was, and do you know what he said to me, he repeated to me what you had told him, that it was nobody's fault, it just happened".

I swallow hard, tears welling up in my eyes.

"He then said he was glad you were having a boy and get this - he said he would teach him to fish," he says this so indignantly that I can't help but smile and I let out an involuntary snort of laughter.

"Well the results speak for themselves, you didn't catch anything and he did so..." I shrug and laugh, at the look on Christians face. He pulls me close and we dissolve into a fit of giggles.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

It is 3:20 in the morning, it is dark and I am in pain. I am lying in bed terrified of looking as I don't think I could bear it if the wet feeling I have is blood. I am due to go to the hospital in 3 days time for a caesarean and I am hoping against hope that what I am feeling is our baby boy and that he has decided he wants to be born naturally.

I lean over and nudge Christian; he rolls over and puts his arm around me.

"Christian" I whisper, trying to keep my rising panic under control.

Christian wakes and puts on the lamp he looks at me with eyes full of concern, "What wrong?" he asks, now fully awake.

I can't stop the tears from falling, "I am in pain, and I am hoping my waters have just broken because I feel wet" I whisper unable to stop my lip from trembling.

"Oh baby, I've got you," Christian says tenderly as he wraps his arm around me, "come here, let me look," he says.

I screw my eyes tight and hold my breath. I can feel his anxiety rippling off him as I cling to him. Then I wait as Christian gently pulls the covers back and lifts me, I feel his smile against my cheek, he kisses me and murmurs in my ear "I think our son is ready to meet us, Mrs Grey".

I let out a deep breath and cling tighter to Christian, as the tears refuse to stop falling.

Within 10 minutes we are both dressed and I am in the car, Christian is issuing rapid instructions to Gail, Ryan, Prescott and Sawyer while I patiently wait in the car. Taylor glances at me through the rearview mirror.

"Are you ok Mrs Grey?" he asks nervously.

I think he remembers how close it was with Izzy and how close we came to delivering her in the back of the car. I smile which turns into a grimace as another pain consumes me. All I can manage is a nod. Christian opens the car door and slides in beside me grasping my hand and putting his arm around me.

"Ready sir?" Taylor asks from the front.

"Yes, we are ready" Christian replies.

With that Taylor swiftly starts our journey to the hospital. When we arrive, my contractions are coming thick and fast, Christian carries me into the hospital, my mind immediately returns to the last time he did this, when I lost Matthew and I try to block it out of my mind.

Dr Green is waiting, and smiling kindly at us, after a swift examination she tells us that it's not too late for a caesarean if we still want to go ahead. Christian looks at me, I know this is what he wants, as he prefers the controlled situation of a caesarean, his fear and panic was almost unbearable during Izzy's birth, so despite my longing for one final natural birth I nod in agreement and we are swiftly taken up to the OR.

Christian kept his word and went for a vasectomy after we returned from Aspen. Now fully recovered he sits with me clasping my hand. As Dr Green takes a final examination before the anaesthetist prepares the epidural, she gasps in surprise; in the short time it took us to get to the OR it seemed my son had strapped on a jetpack and was now halfway down the birth canal. It is too late for an epidural or caesarean and so the anaesthetist leaves the room.

"Ok Mrs Grey it seems like your son has decided against a caesarean birth, I have never seen anything happen so quickly, right then this is not the most orthodox of delivery rooms but as I recall the last time we didn't actually make it to the delivery suite so as we don't have time to move you now, like last time we are going to have to improve and this will have to do".

Christian is watching and holding my hand as I start to push. Once again he is wracked with anxiety, I can tell by the look on his face, although he is desperately trying to hide it.

"That's it baby, good girl, you are doing so well," he says.

I get another contraction and I push for all I am worth, whilst squeezing Christian's hand.

"One more push Mrs Grey and we will have the head out," Dr Green says in her usual calm no-nonsense manner.

Another pain tightens like a belt around my stomach and I push again, after a couple more pushes I hear an angry cry, and tears of joy and relief pour down my cheeks and I glance down and see Christian cutting the cord with a slightly shaky hand and Dr Green lifting my son towards me. I hold out my arms and gather the crying, wriggling little bundle into my arms. I gaze up at Christian who is looking at me with tears in his eyes.

"Hey now," I whisper to the screwed up little face, now blinking at me.

Christian leans down and strokes his head, "He is perfect Ana, just perfect!"

"Do you want to say hi to your daddy?" I offer our son to Christian who takes him in his arms and plants a small kiss on his forehead.

After all the necessary checks are completed we are soon moved to a side room, and Christian calls everyone to let them know, and then we sit quietly gazing at our little boy.

"What are we going to name him?" Christian asks.

"I don't know" I reply.

I hadn't dared think about a name in case anything went wrong, and refused to even consider thinking about it and now our little boy is here in our arms, I am still having trouble believing it.

**oooOOOooo**

We are back at home and Gail is fussing around me, Christian is being the doting father, and the children are just captivated. Izzy keeps going to the crib and pointing at the sleeping baby and saying "baby".

Ted looks at his new little brother who is at this moment sleeping peacefully in my arms and he smiles at me.

"What's his name?" he asks.

"I don't know, we haven't decided yet" I reply.

Ted looks at me and says "I like the name Alexander, mom how did you pick my name?"

I smile at him, "That's a lovely name, Ted, as for you, well you were named after two very special people, as you know your full name is Theodore Raymond, Theodore is what your great grandfathers name was, he was Grandma Grace's daddy, and daddy's granddad and Raymond is my daddy's name."

"What about Izzy and Pheebs?" he asks as he sits down beside me.

"Well your daddy picked Phoebe, because it was just a name he liked and so did I, her middle name is Carla, which is my mommy's name – you know Grandma Carla, and as for Isobel well, your Aunt Kate mentioned that name and I really liked it, and her middle name is Grace after Grandma Grace – daddy's mommy".

I stop, there is another name, and I hope Ted doesn't ask about that one. He looks at me, and then mutters "What about Matthew?"

I take a deep breath and swallow, "I… I picked that – it was just a name I liked" I stop take a deep breath and continue "It was a sad time, but he was part of our family and so we chose a name for him, his full name was Matthew David" I liked Matthew and then daddy picked David".

Ted nods, he looks up and Christian has appeared and is standing beside the sofa, he sits down beside me and I smile a little too brightly at him.

"Ted has suggested a lovely name for his brother I really like it so I think we should go with it," I say.

"You have?" he replies looking expectantly at Ted.

Ted nods enthusiastically "I like the name Alexander," he says with a hopeful look on his face.

"Alexander, yes I like that too" Christian replies and ruffles his sons copper hair "Good work Ted that's a lovely name".

I suddenly have a wave of inspiration, "I have the perfect middle name for him" I say quietly.

Christian puts his arm around me and looks from the sleeping baby in my arms to me and smiles, "and what would that be?"

"Christian" I whisper.

Christian blanches and he leans back, oh dear seeing this reaction I realise immediately that this could go either way, I wait and let him consider it for a moment, but Ted distracts me as he gets up happy that his choice of name has been picked and then he runs to find Gail to tell her that he has picked his baby brothers name. I return my attention to Christian who is watching him go, and he hasn't said a word yet.

"Well?" I ask eventually as the prolonged silence continues. I keep my gaze on my husband whilst urging him silently to say something.

Christian looks at me and I can't place the look in his eyes.

"Why? Why would you think he should have my name?" he mutters.

I reach for his hand and smile at him, "Because he is a very special little boy, he is a strong little fighter, he had the will to survive when his brother died, he did survive and he is here now – does that remind you of anyone because it reminds me of someone, someone who I think is very special too."

I touch his cheek, tears are rolling down mine and I wait for him to respond.

After what seems like an eternity I can't bear the silence any longer, I gently place Alexander in his crib at the side of the sofa, and turn to Christian, and I take him in my arms.

"Say something" I whisper.

Christian holds me tighter and I am beginning to worry, I place a kiss on his cheek he moves and kisses me deeply on the lips.

"I love you so much," he says his voice thick with emotion.

"Is that a yes then?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes, Alexander Christian Grey – does have a ring to it" he smiles.

I sag with relief, oh thank god.

A couple of days later and we have a house full of visitors, Grace and Carrick and Kate and Elliot have all come to visit, Elliot and Kate have brought their two daughters Ava and Zoe, there is squealing and laughter as Phoebe is playing with her cousins. Poor Ted has come to sit with us. Suddenly there is a flurry of activity as Mia and Ethan arrive.

I jump to my feet and embrace Ethan warmly as Mia runs to Christian and flings her arms around his neck. Ethan makes his way over to Kate and gives her a peck on the cheek and shakes Elliot warmly by the hand, before turning to Christian and shaking his hand and congratulating him.

"Mia, we weren't expecting you both back until next weekend," Grace says in surprise as she gets over the shock of seeing her daughter.

"Mom, do you really think I would stay away when my latest nephew has been born" Mia replies scornfully.

"She's been terrible since Christian rang her to tell her the baby had been born!" Ethan says winking at Mia who giggles.

"So, how was the holiday?" I ask bursting to know.

"It was lovely, the best, but not now, I want to see my nephew where is he?"

I nod at Carrick who is holding Alexander, "Over there with your dad" I say.

Mia makes her way over to her father and gives him a peck on the cheek, before focussing her attention on the sleeping bundle in his arms.

"Oh Ana, he's a sweetheart! Congratulations, you deserve it after what you have been through!" Mia stares down at Alexander who at this moment is oblivious to everything around him.

I make my way over to Kate who is standing apart and is very uncharacteristically quiet today, she hasn't been herself since she got here, and at this moment she is staring at Elliot who is in deep conversation with Ethan.

"Earth to Kate," I say and give my dear friend a nudge.

She turns and smiles weakly at me, I start to worry about her response or lack of it and I tug her sleeve, she sighs but follows me and we quietly move out of the room and into the kitchen.

"What's wrong Kate?" I ask concerned at the very unusual behaviour my friend is exhibiting.

Kate shakes her head and tries to give me a brave smile, but it doesn't work and she just looks… sad.

"Ana, I'm sorry after all you have been through you don't want to hear my problems" she says sadly.

I frown and pull her towards me, this is clearly something major for Kate to be having this sort of reaction.

"Kate, look at me, you are my best friend in the whole world, hell we are sisters if you can't talk to me then there is something seriously wrong, I know I have been a bad friend recently, but tell me what's wrong?"

Kate stares at me incredulously, "Ana, don't be stupid, you haven't been a bad friend, you have been to hell and back the past few months after you lost Matthew, the last thing you want or need is to hear my problems and it wouldn't be fair of me to dump them on you," she says bluntly.

I reach for her, "well I'll be the judge of that and as I'm here now and listening, talk to me, something is wrong, I just know it" I say as I urge her to reply.

Kate looks at me bleakly and sighs, I watch as she wrestles with whether or not to say anything and then tears start welling up in her eyes.

"Kate tell me," I say as I reach for her.

My mind is working overtime now, on what on earth could be the matter to have my strong best friend so upset, and my imagination is running away with me and I start wondering if something is wrong with Ava or Zoe, are they ill? Is Kate ill?

"I think Elliot is having an affair" she says and as she says it she bursts into tears.

I freeze in complete unadulterated shock at her words. It is like she has just told me the world is flat, I don't believe it, Elliot adores Kate and would never… would he?

"What?!" I blurt out stupidly.

That is all I can manage to get out and that one word conveys all the shock and disbelief I am currently feeling. Kate nods and as I come to my senses and I pull her into an even tighter embrace and her tears start to fall freely as she clings to me, her hands fisting in my shirt.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

Kate shrugs, "Not totally, but I have my suspicions," she says and fresh tears start to fall as she continues to cling to me.

As I continue to hold her and comfort her I know for certain that this is not normal behaviour for Kate and just goes to show how devastated she is, and I can't bear seeing her like this, seeing my friend so distraught makes my temper starts to rise. How could he do this?

"What has he done which makes you think this?" I ask carefully.

Kate lifts her head and sniffs loudly, "I have a gut feeling, things haven't been right between us for a while, we put on a show of unity for the sake of the girls and around the family but he started pulling away, and then there was unexplained absences, I found receipts for meals for two, meals where I wasn't the second person, then there were texts he was always on his phone texting and when I asked him who he was constantly talking to he became defensive and cagy about it, now I know that all that is circumstantial and it could all be totally innocent but my gut is telling me he is cheating, I saw too much of my dad's behaviour with his affairs as I grew up not to know the signs."

I listen to her and while it does sound bad she is right there could be a totally innocent explanation for everything she has described, but whatever is going on she deserves to know the truth so she can stop torturing herself with suspicion. I think for a moment wondering what I can do to help. I push away from Kate and grip her arms, she looks at me with an almost haunted expression and I know I have to do something.

"Wait here," I say and she nods at me and she sits down on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and with that I leave the room.

Things are spinning around in my head, what can I do? My instinct is to go out and slap Elliot for hurting my friend, but I can't do that, not with everyone around and what if Kate is mistaken, I recall the time in Aspen when I saw him with Gia when he had been behaving strangely and I had jumped to conclusions that he was cheating on my friend only to discover later he was actually anxious about popping the question and the conversation with Gia was simply two old friends who had bumped into each other.

I try and figure out how to go about this, then inspiration hits me. I walk back into the lounge and walk up to Christian, and slip my arm around him.

"Christian can you just help me with something" I whisper to him.

He smiles down at me, "Sure baby" he says.

I watch as he turns to Elliot and Ethan "excuse me please" he says, and they both nod at him as he moves away.

I pull Christian to the corner of the room and hiss in his ear "Kate is in tears in the kitchen – she thinks Elliot is having an affair, will you talk to him and find out?"

Christian's mouth drops open, "What, now?" he splutters in shock.

"Yes," I hiss back "because if you don't I will!" I add and I leave the room to return to Kate. Moments later Christian opens the door with a grim expression which makes my heart sink and he is followed by a very sheepish looking Elliot.

I discreetly leave the room and leave Kate and Elliot to it. After a few moments, Elliot comes out red-faced and excuses himself and goes and out into the garden. By this time Grace has figured out something is going on, and is looking suspiciously at first Christian and then me, she walks towards me.

"Ana, is everything alright dear, what's going on?" she looks questioningly at me.

"I don't know" I reply, "but I am about to go and find out."

I head into the kitchen where Kate is slumped on the floor sobbing her heart out. I crouch down beside her and rock her gently in my arms.

Grace enters the room and gasps and she kneels beside Kate, "Kate! What's wrong?" she says.

"It's true... Elliot... he's... he's having an affair" Kate splutters through the sobs, then she pulls away and turns to face me.

"I'm so sorry for ruining your night Ana."

I shake my head and hug her close once more, at this moment I want to hurt Elliot and hurt him badly. As I glance up, I see Ethan in the doorway with a look of fury on his face, and I realise that if we don't stop him he will do the job for me as it appears he has heard everything, but before I can say anything he spins on his heel and storms out into the garden. I panic suddenly wondering where the children are, they don't need to see or hear any of this, and as I am thinking this, Ted runs in looking panic-stricken.

"Mommy, why is Uncle Ethan hitting Uncle Elliot?" he says.

Grace immediately takes control of a situation that is escalating out of control. "Teddy go upstairs and stay with the girls. I think Uncle Ethan and Uncle Elliot are just playing and it's got a bit out of hand that's all, it's nothing to worry about."

Ted nods and disappears.

Grace stalks out of the kitchen and into the garden as Kate and I follow, Christian is holding Ethan and Carrick is holding Elliot with a bemused look on his face, Mia is crying and Christian is looking with utter contempt at his brother; as one, everyone turns as Grace walks towards Elliot.

She stops in front of him and glares at him, Elliot towers over Grace but at this moment he looks like a small child as she very effectively intimidates him.

"You fool," she says simply and those two words are filled with utter disgust and disappointment.

Elliot lowers his head and Grace turns and looks at Christian and then at me. "I am sorry your evening has been ruined, this was meant to be a celebration of Alexander's birth but has now turned into something else entirely, and if you would all excuse me I would like a word with my son please".

Everyone returns inside Christian is leading Ethan away with his arm around his shoulder. Ethan glances up at Kate and stepping out of Christian's hold he walks towards her folding her into his arms.

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Mia demands and Carrick nods in agreement.

"My dearest brother has been cheating on his wife" Christian spits out in disgust. There is a sharp intake of breath from Mia and Carrick and Mia rushes to Kate and embraces her.

There is an uneasy silence as we wait for Grace to return, the atmosphere is thick. Christian leaves the room to check on the children. He has never been fond of Kate but when he returns it is clear he has taken control of the situation and is firmly on the side of team Kate.

He turns towards her and clears his throat as he does this everyone looks at him and waits for him to speak.

"Kate, you should know the children are in bed – Ava and Zoe are in the spare rooms and you are welcome to the other one for as long as you need it" he says firmly.

"Thank you Christian" Kate mutters gratefully and she even manages a small weak smile, "I need to get some things."

She moves towards the door and Christian stops her and calls for Taylor.

"Sir" Taylor says as he appears in the doorway.

"Taylor would you please take Mrs Grey to her house and help her fetch some belongings and then bring her back here."

"Yes Sir" Taylor replies and he holds the door open for Kate.

I walk over to Christian and squeeze his hand he looks down at me and his face softens.

"Thank you" I mouth at him and standing on my tip toes I kiss him on the cheek.

Ethan turns to Christian and offers his hand, and as Christian accepts he pulls him into a hug.

"Thank you Christian, and I'm sorry I caused a scene, but she's my sister you know."

Christian nods "Think nothing of it" he replies.

"Is Ted ok? He saw me hit Elliot" Ethan asks, he obviously ashamed that his actions had been witnessed by his young nephew.

"He's fine, we told him you were just playing and it got out of hand," Christian replies.

Ethan and Mia leave shortly afterwards and Mia is weeping quietly. I watch as Ethan puts his arm around her as he leads her out. Carrick is looking confused and angry and after a moment pacing around the room he walks outside to Grace who is still talking to Elliot, leaving Christian and I alone, Christian looks at me and then pulls me into his arms.

"I would never cheat on you Ana" he whispers softly into my hair.

I squeeze him "I know" I reply.

Just at that moment, a crying noise comes from the crib at the side of the sofa, Christian reaches in and lifts his son out and cradles him in his arms.

"He needs changing" he states and walks away leaving me alone.

I sink on to the sofa my head spinning, what the hell happened tonight? I put my head in my hands thinking about the ramifications of the night's events.

The next morning Kate is sitting looking lost in the lounge as I walk towards her, I notice she is still in her pyjamas and I smile as I take in the fact they are the fluffy pink ones. I can't believe she still has those old awful things after all these years. She smiles weakly at me as I sit beside her and take her hand.

"You can stay here as long as you like," I say, and she nods silently.

"Thank you, Christian said that as well" she says after a moment.

Gail appears in the doorway, "What would you like for breakfast, Mrs Grey?"

I turn and smile at Gail "Granola please for me, Kate?" I ask turning my attention to my friend.

Kate looks from me to Gail and shakes her head, then looking up says "I'm not hungry but I would love a mug of coffee please".

"Of course," Gail says kindly and she leaves the room.

Christian appears and looks from Kate to me, I can tell he is unsure of what to say. Kate glances up at him and smiles.

"Thank you for letting us stay Christian," she says her voice wobbling.

"It's my pleasure" he replies kindly and disappears into the kitchen.

Kate has decided to take a couple of days off work to sort things out and as she prepares to take Ava and Zoe to school, she asks if she can do anything. I shake my head and smile.

"You come back here and we can have a good long chat!"

**oooOOOooo**

_Six weeks later..._

Kate is sorting out what life holds for her now, she has decided that she is divorcing Elliot and hopes that the settlement will give her enough to buy a small house for herself and the girls; she doesn't want the house Elliot built for them, but until that happens she is staying with us. I am feeding Alexander when Kate walks in from work, she looks troubled.

"What's up?" I say as I glance up at her.

"Ana, I don't want to worry you but I think I was followed when I was driving back here tonight, a car followed me all the way from work to here and as I pulled in he drove off."

I go cold and call Sawyer, Kate repeats what she has told me giving Sawyer a full description of the car, Sawyer calls Taylor immediately and within minutes my mobile is buzzing.

"Ana are you OK?" Christian's anxious voice comes to me down the phone.

"I'm fine; I'm guessing you've been told what Kate said, who do you think it is?" I ask.

"I don't know but my guess is it's that fucker Hyde, we will know more when the car has been traced, Ana, listen to me don't go anywhere without Sawyer do you understand me?"

"I understand" I reply.

"Good, look I have to go baby, but remember what I said" Christian hangs up and I am left with a very bad feeling.

That night I find I can't sleep; my mind is racing with all the events of the past months, everything that has happened. Finding out I was pregnant again, then finding out it was twins, losing Matthew, and then finally safely giving birth to Alexander, Christian agreeing to and having a vasectomy, Elliot cheating on Kate, Kate leaving Elliot and moving in with us, and then looming in the background the sinister figure of Jack Hyde. I shiver as I think about him. 

I decide to get up, I glance down at my sleeping husband at the side of me, he looks so peaceful and devastatingly beautiful, I love to watch him sleep, but rarely get the chance to. I carefully leave the bed and walk into the kitchen, I pour myself a drink and go and sit in the lounge. I am surprised to see Kate sitting on the sofa she looks up and smiles as I walk towards her.

"Can't you sleep either?" I whisper as I sit down beside her.

"No" she replies, "I didn't wake you did I?" she asks and she looks worried that she is the cause of me sitting here with her.

I quickly respond to reassure her. "No not at all I can't sleep, my mind has been going over everything that has happened recently – it's been quite a year up to now!" I sip my drink. 

Kate smiles at me "I can't believe how strong you are Ana, everything you have been through, and yet you don't seem to bat an eyelid, you just cope and carry on."

I smile "I think this year has tested my strength more than any other," I pause "You haven't had an easy time either, and you have coped very well with it."

She shakes her head and gives a little snort, "Oh Ana, appearances can be deceiving, and I am destroyed inside. I can't believe Elliot would do something like that to me, and his children. I really loved him more than anyone, he was my world Ana and now that world has crumbled and I just don't know what to do."

I put my arm around Kate's shoulder and squeeze gently, "How are the girls taking it?"

"Fine, Elliot wasn't really much of a hands-on father, he's not like Christian; don't get me wrong he is a good father and he loves the girls but there isn't the closeness there, I have seen how Ted, Phoebe and Izzy react when they set eyes on Christian, its beautiful to see, they totally idolise him and he adores them."

I smile, "Yes it is" I agree.

I look up and Christian is standing in the doorway, I don't know how long he has been standing there and listening. He nods at Kate and turns to me. 

"I woke up and you weren't there, are you alright?" I see anxiety is written all over his face and I wonder if he has had a nightmare.

I smile at him, "I'm fine I just couldn't sleep".

He nods pacified by what I have told him, Kate looks at us both and diplomatically stands.

"Well I suppose I'd better try and get some sleep," she says, I hug her tightly and she disappears upstairs. Christian watches her go and moves across the room towards me.

"Are you ok? You haven't had a nightmare have you?" I ask carefully.

He shakes his head and sits down beside me, "No, I'm fine, I just wondered where you were" he says.

I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him close.

"I heard," he says quietly after a momentary pause.

"She's right though, you are so strong Ana, with how you have coped with everything," he runs his fist down my cheek.

I suddenly have a desire unfurling inside me, a desire which has been absent for months, it's been so long, since we made love, I haven't wanted it and Christian hasn't pushed and then he had his vasectomy which put him out of action for a while but at this moment it is all I want. I wrap my arms around Christian's neck.

"Make love to me?" I ask as I gaze into his eyes.

His surprise is evident, and his face lights up, he sweeps me up into his arms "With pleasure!" he replies.

When we reach the bedroom he kicks the door shut and lies me carefully on the bed, I pull off the t-shirt I am wearing and he pushes down the pyjama bottoms he had previously pulled on, I take a moment to really look at him, his body is even leaner and more sculptured than I remember and then I realise, we haven't made love for so long, he has been compensating but working out harder and more regularly.

My eyes roam over his perfect body and towards his groin, his arousal is evident as his huge penis, thick and solid stands proudly erect pointing towards his navel and bobbing under its weight.

"Do you see something you like?" he whispers as he sees me ogling him, and he wraps his hand around the thick length and he seductively strokes himself as he moves closer.

"I want you, now," I say as I brazenly open my legs.

Christian climbs onto the bed and settles between my thighs and runs his hands all over me, there isn't a part of me which doesn't feel the tenderness of his touch, then he repeats the procedure with his mouth, covering me in small sweet kisses. I shiver with pleasure and my hips lift as he lazily licks my clit and then thrusts his tongue into me, I moan, for the first time in so long my body feels alive, I don't feel numb any more and I want the connection the feeling of completeness that I know I will only get when Christian is inside me. I reach around and grasp his buttocks and urge him closer, silently pleading for him to take me.

I look up and a pair of blazing grey eyes meet mine and without taking them from me, I feel him slowly push his way inside me. I gasp at the sensation and I hear a moan tear from Christian as he pushes a little further until I have every last inch of him buried inside me.

"I love you" I whisper and Christian smiles and leans down and kisses me tenderly.

"I love you too baby," he says, he pulls out and then thrust forward once more. He stills watching my reaction, "Ok?" he asks and I nod.

"I want you," I say as my hips meet another thrust, a small smile fills his face and he starts to move.

A while later and we are lying in each other's arms, completely sated and quietly not saying anything, just holding each other and just savouring the tender moments we have shared. The moment which is suddenly shattered by a piercing cry, I ease myself out of Christian's arms and get up and go to our son.

The next morning I am shattered, I struggle to get up and watch Christian getting dressed, I still wonder how he manages to look so bright when he has had little sleep, and yet I look and feel like a zombie.

"What are your plans today?" he asks.

"I am going to work to pick up my correspondence and see how things are ticking over, I trust my team to keep things moving in the right direction, but I think its time I showed my face again," I say carefully as I look at Christian to gauge his reaction to this. "Plus I want to show our son off to everyone" I add with a grin at him.

I see him considering what I have said and eventually he nods, "Ok but keep Luke close, do you understand me?" he says in that no-nonsense tone.

I nod, there is no way I am going to defy him with Jack Hyde on the loose.

I walk into Grey Publishing and Clare jumps up and runs to me "Ana!" she squeals "How are you, oh let me see".

She is bubbling with enthusiasm and peers down into the carrier I am holding. I am soon surrounded by my team all anxious to get a look at Alexander and it takes me a while to make my way to my office.

Hannah is cooing over Alexander as I collect my correspondence, but he is totally oblivious to the commotion he has caused, and the work he has disrupted. After I have caught up with all the important news and signed a few papers. I hand over the work I have completed at home and just take a moment to gather my thoughts, as I am doing this my phone rings.

"Ana Grey" I answer.

"Well hello Ana, it's been a long time" the voice at the end of the phone makes me freeze with fear, its Jack and flashbacks of when he called me when he had Mia fill my mind, and I feel myself trembling.

I quickly pull myself together and grab my notepad, and write _'fetch Luke now' _on it and point at it insistently, Hannah nods and a moment later Sawyer is standing in the doorway, I grab the pencil and write _Jack Hyde_ on the pad and point to my phone. Sawyers' mouth drops open but his reaction is instant. He grabs his mobile and hits a speed dial number.

"T... Jack Hyde is on the phone to Mrs Grey now, at the office... right... ok"

Sawyer writes on the pad _keep him talking_, I nod but my hand is shaking.

Jack is talking to me, he is rambling and clearly still as deluded as he was and I get frustrated, "Get to the point Jack, what do you want?" I snap.

"Temper temper" he snarls at me, "You need to be nice to me you bitch, I have something you don't want to lose."

I go cold, what the hell is he talking about, I panic and suddenly remember how he was seen outside Ted's school, oh my god my children, I look at Alexander and start to hyperventilate. I try to keep my voice level as I say "What are you talking about?"

"All in good time, you will be hearing from again soon" and with that, he hangs up, I am beside myself, I go to call Christian, but at that very moment, he is striding in the door closely followed by Taylor who looks grim.

I leap to my feet the relief at seeing my husband is enormous, "Christian – he's done something again, he says he has something I don't want to lose, Christian, the children" I run to him and cling to him.

"Shit" he mutters and at that moment his phone buzzes, he frowns as he glances at the number.

"What?" he snarls, he stills and glances at me, he listens and in a softer voice says "Don't panic we'll find her, I promise" he hangs up.

"Christian?" I look up at him.

"The children are fine," he says and I immediately relax, but looking at his face I know there is more and it isn't good.

"But?" I coax.

"That was Elliot, he went to our place this morning to talk to Kate but he missed her, he said he saw her driving to work and was following and he said she was being followed by another car, which then rammed her and she was run off the road, he couldn't get to her in time, but it was Hyde, he has Kate."

I feel my legs buckle and Christian grabs me.

"Ana, take Alexander and go home, stay there and don't go anywhere, I will be with you shortly, don't worry, we will find her, and Ana if he calls you again; please for the love of god, don't do anything stupid."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

I am pacing around my living room like a caged animal, Ethan sits in one corner of the room with Mia holding his hand and Elliot sits in the other, weeping quietly.

Grace is trying to comfort him. I can't stand the atmosphere in here any longer and so I go in search of Christian, I find him with Taylor in the study talking on speakerphone with Welch, who it seems is doing everything to trace Jack and Kate. As I stare at them, my phone in my pocket buzzes; I look at it and look back at Christian who immediately stands.

"Welch, Hyde is calling Ana now," he says.

I walk towards him and show him the screen of my phone, Its Kate's number on the screen, and I shudder.

The disembodied voice of Christian's security adviser comes over the speakerphone.

"Mrs Grey answer the phone please and try and stay calm."

I glance at Christian and he nods at me.

"Hello," I say and I press the speaker button so the voice fills the room.

"Well about time, I have someone here who wants to talk to you" there is a scuffling sound.

"Ana, I'm sorry don't do anything stupid, listen, tell Elliot I still love him and tell him... tell him he is going to be a father again and..." She stops abruptly.

"Give me that damn phone you bitch, you are not here for fucking chit chat" I hear a slapping sound and then Kate screams.

"Kate" I wail tears streaming down my cheeks "Don't you hurt her Jack" I scream down the phone.

He laughs a cold mirthless laugh, "Well that depends on you doesn't it, as it's you I really want, you and that fucking rich bastard you married, both of you destroyed my life, and you are going to pay for that, she is only the consolation prize, she's the easy target as I can't get anywhere near you and your fucking brats because that bastard has security so tight so I went for her, your friend and she's also his brother's wife, so she must have some leverage?" he pauses and laughs again. "So listen carefully, there's a good girl and do exactly as I say."

"OK" I whisper, now shaking uncontrollably.

Christian comes behind me and lowers me into a chair he has pulled up and puts his hand on my shoulder, I take a deep breath and wait for Jack to continue.

"When I tell you to, you are going to come here and join your little friend, and you are going to finally get me what I am owed by that fucking bastard and his family and they owe me big time, he was nothing when I first met him, nothing, but he took everything that was meant for me, and remember this, remember, this bitch means nothing to me so I won't think twice about fucking her up and killing her – I will be in touch."

The line goes dead; I drop the phone on the table and start to sob.

"Did you get all that Welch?" Christian says soberly.

"I did, he sounds unhinged, I have that conversation on tape now, I really think this is now a matter for the authorities Mr Grey," Welch says carefully.

"Thank you, Welch, I'll be in touch, goodbye" Christian disconnects the call; there is silence as we all sit and process what has just happened.

A noise distracts us and as one we all turn and Elliot is standing motionless in the doorway.

"She's pregnant?" he whispers.

Christian strides towards his brother and embraces him, its too much and Elliot collapses in his arms.

"Oh god I have been such an idiot, I love her so much, it was just so stupid it didn't mean anything, we had a fight and I just went out and got drunk and it was a one night stand, but she wanted to see me again and I was too stupid and weak to say no, if anything happens to her or the baby I will never forgive myself, what am I going to do, oh Christian what can I do?" he carries on rambling and sobbing and Christian takes him by the shoulders and shakes him. I walk over and join them.

"Snap out of it, and listen to me" Christian commands.

Elliot stops and stares at Christian dumbfounded.

"Sir" Taylor says and brings over a laptop I look at Taylor and glance down at the laptop he has been tapping and I see he has been tracking Kate's cell phone. I try to look and see if I can read what it says, I am shocked when I read where he is, he is at Escala.

Christian glances at the screen and nods "well we know where they are" he states and looks at Elliot "shall we go and fetch her?"

I gasp, "Christian, no" I whisper.

My mind starts to race, there is no way Christian can face Jack, he's insane, he will kill him, what if Jack has a gun? I am beside myself but Elliot's distraught words are going through my head. Christian has completely taken charge, and Elliot is suddenly standing tall and defiant, Taylor is checking his gun, I swallow hard as I realise what they are all going to do.

"Christian this is a job for the police" I whisper as I reach for him and touch his arm.

He turns to face me, and he shakes his head, "No, if Hyde sees the police arriving at Escala Kate will be dead before they enter the building, our only chance is if we do this."

I fling my arms around him "Please be careful" I whisper "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you, please, just come back to me".

Christian holds me close and kisses my head, but worryingly doesn't say a word. In a matter of moments, they have gone.

I look around I am alone, I sink to my knees what the hell is he thinking Jack hates him, and that phone call was so strange he sounded unhinged, he will take pleasure in killing Christian, he is deranged enough to. He blames him for everything that's happened in his life, everything starts to overwhelm me, I just can't sit here and do nothing, but what can I do?

I sit and think and I realise I can't let Christian do this, so without thinking too closely about what I am about to do I run to Taylor's office and unlock the drawer, I see his spare gun and grab it. It all seems a bit like deja-vous as my mind is cast back to the last time I did something like this.

I slip out of Taylor's office and out the back door; I get to the car I jump in and shout out to no-one in particular, "I'm sorry I have to!" and with that, I step on the gas and drive off.

As I pull into the car park at Escala I wonder where everyone is, I see the SUV abandoned in the corner, I walk over my heart beating out of my chest, I glance inside, it's completely empty. Suddenly I see something or someone move. I freeze, it's Jack he is going into the service lift, I know where they are, I remember back to when Leila broke in that was where she hid. I follow, quickly and quietly.

As I arrive I hear Jack shouting and swearing, then I hear Christian and Elliot's voices, Taylor shouting commands it sounds chaotic then suddenly 3 gun shots ring out, then silence, I go cold and pause I don't know what to do, when I feel a hand on my shoulder, I nearly jump out of my skin and I turn swiftly to face a very angry Luke Sawyer, he has his gun drawn and his finger up to his lips, he may be glaring at me, and probably at this moment he wants to use his gun on me but I have never been so pleased to see him in my life. He pulls me behind him and pushes the door open.

I see Kate lying tied up with duct tape on the floor she is unconscious and she looks a mess as though she has been badly beaten, I glance around the room, Christian is sitting slumped in the corner conscious but bleeding heavily from his shoulder, Taylor and Elliot are nowhere to be seen, Sawyer rushes to Christians side and tends to his shoulder, Christians eyes widen when he sees me enter the room not with anger but with fear and just then I know why as a familiar voice behind me startles me.

"Well look what we have here."

My actions are instant, I spin on the spot and fire at point blank range into Jack. He collapses to the floor groaning and clutching his arm. A moment later Taylor and Elliot appear. Taylor immediately lowers his gun and gapes at me. I drop the gun and run to Christian's side. Tears are pouring down my cheeks and as I pull him towards me he groans in pain.

I immediately pull back apologising and Christian winces as he turns to face me.

"When are you going to learn to do as you are told?" he whispers.

Oh thank god, he's alive and he's talking to me; I smile with relief, "Isn't that one of the things you love about me?" I reply with more than a little sarcasm.

His mouth twitches and he smiles, "Yes it is, but you also have a family to consider, you need to realise you are needed, I don't want Alexander growing up with only pictures of his mother, and how do you think the others would feel had something happened to you, and besides" he pauses and lowers his voice, "I couldn't live without you."

I roll my eyes at that thinking it is ironic he should be saying this to me when he is the one who has been shot.

"What about you" I reply gesturing to the bleeding wound on his shoulder.

He cannot answer that and instead pulls me close wrapping his good arm around me. But I know he is pissed at me for getting involved and coming after him. I glance over to Elliot who is sitting beside Kate, her head in his lap.

"Kate, stay with me, I love you, I'm so sorry," he says.

She moves and opens her eyes, "Elliot?" she whispers, I notice that she is struggling to breathe.

I ease myself away from Christian and shuffle over to my friend, "Don't move Kate, and try not to talk, an ambulance is coming" I say and stroke her hair.

She looks up at me in surprise, "Ana, I told you not to do anything stupid!" she gasps.

I smile "It was Christian, Elliot and Taylor who decided to do something stupid this time," I say still stroking her hair.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting with Christian who is being patched up at the hospital, I am quiet and Christian is sitting next to me he looks calm but I know better he is angry, very angry with me.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't stay at home and do nothing" I whisper defiantly.

He says nothing but just continues to glare at me.

The door opens and Elliot walks in, and he smiles at me, well at least someone isn't burning with rage. I have felt Christians anger gradually increasing ever since I arrived at Escala and I know he is desperately trying to control it. I know he is working himself up to have a massive tantrum about what I did, but at this moment I really don't care and if he starts I am determined to finish it as I don't have a scratch on me whereas he has a massive gunshot wound and has lost a significant amount of blood.

"How's Kate?" I ask.

I am deliberately ignoring Christian and letting him stew in his anger and I am focussing my attention on Elliot.

Elliot just shrugs, "Still in surgery, he beat her up quite badly, and she's in a bit of a state" he is quiet, and his voice cracks with emotion so I reach out and touch his hand to reassure him.

"Kate's strong she will come through this" I whisper, "is the baby ok? I add as I remember what she said during the call with Jack and I hold my breath terrified of the answer.

Elliot shakes his head, "we don't know yet".

Christian is still silently brooding as Elliot turns to him, "Ana is one hell of a woman Christian don't ever let her go."

I risk a glance at my husband and Christian nods but still says nothing. Elliot looks at me and then pulls me into a bear hug.

"Thank you, Ana, you saved Kate's life, not to mention ours as that sadistic bastard was going to kill us all, he didn't care he was totally insane. My daughters still have a mother and father because of you."

With that he stands, "I'll leave you two alone", he gives me a quick peck on the cheek and leaves the room.

Christian turns his head towards me but he doesn't meet my gaze, "and thank you for saving my life" he says curtly.

I look hard at him and remember what he said to me earlier I say his own words back to him.

"You are very welcome Mr Grey, but no more heroics eh! You also have a family to consider, you need to realise you are needed, I don't want Alexander growing up with only pictures of his father, and how do you think the others would feel had something happened to you, and besides I couldn't live without you." I wait and when he finally makes eye contact with me I lean forward and place a small kiss on his lips.

Christian pulls me into his arms and winces at the pain in his shoulder "I know, you just want to protect everyone you love, I above anyone can understand that, but you have to stop putting yourself in danger!" he snaps.

I pull away and gesture to his shoulder, "That's rich coming from you" I snort "You are the one with the gunshot wound, not me."

I snuggle closer to him and then suddenly he stills and I gaze up into his face, "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Do you remember what I told you the last time you pulled a stunt like that?"

"No" I reply.

"I told you I would take you across my knee and spank you – don't forget your stepfather gave me permission to do so!" I recognise that tone of voice and something stirs inside me.

I lean up and plant another small kiss on his lip "is that a threat or a promise?" I murmur bravely.

Christian turns and with a groan, his mouth is on mine, and he is kissing me fiercely, when he releases me we are both out of breath, "Oh it's most definitely a promise!" he replies and kisses me again, "Just wait till I get you home!"

We are sitting in the waiting room for Kate to come out of surgery. Elliot is pacing and Christian is sitting quietly, his shoulder bandaged heavily and I wonder how much pain he is in.

The door opens and we all stand up and take in the doctor who has just arrived.

"Katherine Grey" Elliot whispers, I watch as Christian puts his hand on Elliot's shoulder and squeezes.

The doctor looks around at us all "You are next of kin?" he asks generally.

Elliot steps forward "I am, I'm her husband; this is my brother and my sister in law."

The doctor nods, "Katherine has sustained 3 broken ribs and a collapsed lung, but apart from that her other wounds are superficial, she is a very lucky lady, it could have been much worse.

"What about the baby?" Elliot whispers.

There is a pause, the doctor puts his hand out and touches Elliot's arm.

"I'm sorry," he says "It looks as though she sustained several blows to the stomach area, and I'm afraid she miscarried whilst in theatre".

"No" I cry, my hand flying to my mouth.

Elliot sinks to his knees and weeps bitterly.

"Thank you, doctor," Christian says his voice cracking.

"I'm very sorry Mr Grey," the doctor says to Elliot and then he turns and leaves the room.

**oooOOOooo**

We are all sitting around Kate's bed, she has been crying. Elliot is holding her hand. I am the other side holding her other hand, we are all silent Christian is standing in the corner, when the door opens and Grace enters.

She glares at Christian and then moves over to Kate and gently embraces her.

"I'm so sorry Kate" she whispers, Kate nods but says nothing, it's almost as though she has shut down now.

Grace releases her and then she turns to me and gently pulls me to my feet and embraces me.

"Thank you, Ana, our family was blessed the day you joined it, as you have saved all my children one way or another" she pauses and then glances at Christian and shakes her head, before leaning close and whispering in my ear so only I can hear.

"And you have saved Christian twice over" she says.

Then she turns to Elliot and presses a small kiss in his hair and then she moves to the back of the room and murmurs something to Christian. I watch as Grace leaves the room and Christian follows her.

"I'll be back in a minute," I say to Kate and make my way over to the door, and as I look outside I see Grace is berating Christian for his irresponsible behaviour.

I can't stand by and let my husband be chastised like this without taking some of the blame; I walk towards Christian and grasp his hand.

"Please Grace," I say gently but firmly, and I feel Christian squeeze my hand, whether it is a gesture of thanks or warning I don't know but I continue to speak.

"Jack was insane if the police had been called he would have killed Kate. Christian was just trying to protect everyone".

"By almost getting himself killed" she splutters, she is shaking with both anger and anguish, she shakes her head and she waves her hand at him.

"What were you thinking Christian; tell me what were you thinking? Did you lose all common sense and reason, what would have happened if he had killed you?" she waves her hand in the direction of the gunshot wound in his shoulder.

"Did you forget that you have a family? You have a wife who would have been left a widow and you have four children who would have been left without a father," she lets out an exasperated sigh and then she moves and grabbing Christian she wraps her arms around him, he winces and he carefully puts his good arm around her.

"I'm sorry mom" he mutters.

She pulls away from him and looks up at him "Don't you ever do anything that stupid again do you understand me?"

This is not a humorous situation by any stretch of the imagination but I am trying not to laugh as I see Grace berating Christian, he stands head and shoulders above her but at this moment he looks like a small boy, as he has his head down and she is glaring up at him and she is even waving her finger at him.

"Grace, please" I beg.

Grace turns to me and holds me close again, "Oh Ana" she sighs.

She takes a deep breath and takes my arm, "I'm going now, Carrick and Mia are with the children and you need to tell Elliot that Ava and Zoe are asking for him, so he needs to go to them."

She looks up at Christian, and we can both see that she is still pissed as she glares at him, "Your children have been asking for you as well, especially Izzy" she states harshly.

"I'll go and tell Elliot," I say and I leave Grace with Christian once more.

As I turn away I hear her continuing to berate him.

I poke my head around the door of Kate's room, and Kate looks up at me.

"Elliot" I say quietly and he turns to look at me.

"Your mom said Ava and Zoe are asking for you, Christian is going home now if you want to go with him, I'll stay here with Kate".

Elliot nods and kisses Kate's cheek before leaving the room. As soon as he has gone Kate looks at me and tears well up in her eyes. I sit down beside her and reach for her.

"I feel so guilty, I was thinking about terminating the pregnancy, until..." she stops "and now..."

As I sit on the edge of the bed I hold her and gently rock her.

"Forgive yourself, Kate, your circumstances were totally different this morning, you were a single mother, divorcing your husband."

Kate nods "Elliot and I are going to try again we've talked and we are going to try and get over what he did, he has promised me it's over and that it meant nothing and he has assured me that it will never happen again."

She pauses and looks me straight in the eye, "I envy you Ana, for what you and Christian have, yes he is controlling and irritatingly overprotective to the point of smothering but he adores you, he would never hurt you in that way."

I nod, "I know" I whisper.

The door opens and we both turn to see Christian entering the room, "Are you coming home?" he asks me, he is so quiet and withdrawn I am concerned as I am wondering what is going through his mind.

I look at Kate, I'm torn, I want to find out what's eating Christian but I don't want to leave my dear friend, I think Kate sees my dilemma and makes the decision for me.

"I am really tired Ana, go home, I am going to get some sleep."

"Are you sure?" I reply and she nods and smiles.

I kiss her forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow" I promise, and I help her settle down, she closes her eyes, I give her hand one final squeeze.

"Goodnight Kate" I say.

"Goodnight Ana" she replies.

Taylor is driving us all home and the silence in the car is deafening, Christian is running his thumb rhythmically over my knuckles and refuses to let me go, he hasn't said a word, but something tells me he's not angry anymore, at least I don't think he is, but the way he is behaving is unnerving me. Elliot is sitting with his head in his hands and lost in his own thoughts.

When we arrive back at home we walk hand in hand into the house, in silence, as nobody is feeling inclined to say anything. Elliot leaves us and runs in, in front of us and goes races straight upstairs to his daughters. I see Carrick poke his head out of the living room and he greets us. He embraces me warmly but the withering look he gives Christian makes me shiver, he shakes his head and then folds Christian into his arms.

I can't help but notice that he has tears in his eyes. I am astounded as I have never seen Carrick so emotional. I walk into the living room and I see Mia, she is dozing on the sofa so I wake her gently and she flings her arms around my neck.

"Oh Ana" she gasps, "we have all been worried sick, you all disappeared then Sawyer came back, it's been just horrible."

"We are all ok" I whisper, "Kate is in the hospital but she is stable, Christian got shot in the shoulder but he's fine, and Elliot was unhurt."

I pause to let her take that in and then I smile and give a little snort "and I shot Jack again, just for a change, I shot him in the arm this time." I add flippantly trying to add some levity to the situation.

I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to laugh, Mia looks at me in surprise, as I sink on to the sofa and give way to hysterical laughter. Christian and Carrick walk in and just stare at me, but I can't stop, the absurdity of the day, has finally got to me, and this is my release. I hear running and the next thing the door flies open and Ted, Phoebe and Isobel appear, they too stare at me as I try to pull myself together.

I hold my arms out and they all run to me. Isobel soon leaves me and runs to Christian holding her arms up to be picked up, I gently lift her on to Christians good arm.

"Careful with daddy, he has a poorly shoulder," I say to her.

She looks at Christian's bandaged shoulder and she leans across and places a gentle kiss on it.

"Kiss better daddy!" she says and that small gesture is his undoing, tears well in his eyes and he looks anxiously at me.

"Come on gang it's bedtime," I say and I try and lift Isobel from Christian's arms but she clings to him refusing to move. Christian takes her upstairs and I follow.

After the children are all settled in bed we return downstairs and Mia approaches us, "We are going now," she says quietly.

"Just so you know, Alexander was fed and changed about an hour ago, so you can work out when he will wake again. I'll get back so I can tell Ethan Kate is safe, as he went home earlier."

I nod "Thank you Mia" I say gratefully and I smile at her to reiterate my thanks, and she gives me a massive hug and tells me that it was her pleasure and then with that she joins Carrick and they both take their leave.

I go in search of Christian and I find him standing by Alexander's crib, he is standing in the shadows and he is staring at his sleeping son I can't see him properly but from what I can see he has an inscrutable expression on his face, I approach him quietly and the first thing I notice as I look at him properly is that he is crying, he is making no noise but the tears are just rolling unchecked down his cheek. I wrap my arm around his waist and he turns to me.

"Come to bed with me" he whispers and I nod.

We lie together, and Christian is snuggled close, I am gently stroking his arm as it is wrapped around me.

"I thought I was going to die," he says suddenly and I freeze at that.

I have no idea what to say or how to answer that so I stay silent. I wait and a moment later Christian speaks again.

"We got up there and Kate was tied up on the floor, Elliot was just going to untie her when Hyde walked in; he started shouting and shooting at the same time and he was just deranged, he got me in the shoulder and then ran off, so Elliot and Taylor ran after him, and then you arrived with Luke, I thought I was seeing things when you walked in, but then he appeared behind you and I thought he was going to shoot you and there was nothing I could do to protect you."

I hear his voice crack and he squeezes me tightly.

"But he didn't" I say, trying to reassure him, as I don't want to have to point out again that he is the one with the gunshot wound whereas I am totally unharmed.

"No he didn't because you got there first, you are an amazing woman Anastasia Grey, and you are my amazing woman, I love you so much" he leans down and presses a kiss to my head and I look up at him.

"I love you too" I whisper.

"But promise me, no more heroics, do you promise?" he asks.

"I promise," I say solemnly "and the same goes for you too ok?" I add looking at him questioningly.

I see a reluctant smile, "Ok, I promise" he says.

The atmosphere between us is heavy, I need to lighten the mood, I roll over so I am facing Christian and smile at him.

"We are home now," I say cryptically. He frowns, not understanding what I am talking about.

"I believe you were going to spank me when you got me home," I say as I run my hand down his chest.

His face lights up, but then he pauses, "Can we take a rain check on that one, my shoulder is aching, but I am up for a bit of good old vanilla," he says as he looks hopefully at me.

"Your wish is my command," I say.

**oooOOOooo**

The next day I am sitting with Kate at the hospital, Elliot is spending some quality time with his daughters and Christian is doing the same with our children. There is a knock at the door, and Detective Clarke enters the room.

"Mrs Grey" he nods at me and I return his greeting with a nod and weak smile. Christian and I have already given our statements to him, so he must be here to speak to Kate, and I grasp her hand tightly.

"May I sit down?" he gestures to the empty seat, we both nod and he sits down with a sigh. "Mrs Grey," he says gently as he looks at Kate, "I am going to have to ask you about the events of yesterday if you feel up to it?" Kate nods.

"Do you want me to stay Kate?" I whisper, she nods at me. "That is ok, isn't it Detective?"

He smiles "Sure" he replies.

Kate starts to talk, the car journey to work, the way Jack ran her off the road, his sadistic beatings, even when she pleaded with him to stop because she was pregnant, and how he just laughed and kicked her again. I close my eyes and shiver, never letting go of Kate's hand. 

When she has finished speaking, Detective Clarke looks grim and shakes his head, "He should never have been let out at all, let alone early" he says almost to himself.

"Where is Jack now?" I ask.

"He was here until last night; after he was patched up he was taken straight back into custody, as he broke the terms of his parole. I doubt he will be released again though and he was behaving very erratically and there was some concern about his mental state so an application has been made to send him to a psychiatric unit for an evaluation."

Detective Clarke pauses, "Well I think that will be all, Mr Welch has passed on the recording of the telephone conversation between you and Mr Hyde yesterday, and we have street CCTV footage of him causing the road accident, along with the reports of his behaviour yesterday I don't think we'll have much trouble convincing the judge he has some serious mental issues, so I think that's all, thank you ladies" and with that he gets up and leaves.

A few moments later the door opens again and Elliot appears with Ava and Zoe.

"Mommy" they both cry and they run to her, Kate's face lights up and she holds her arms wide open, I smile at Elliot and discreetly leave them to it.

Sawyer is waiting outside for me, "Ready Mrs Grey?" he asks.

I nod and follow him out to the car. I feel a little uncomfortable on the drive back after the previous day's events. I glance up at him and decide I should clear the air.

"I was so pleased to see you yesterday when you arrived at Escala," I say carefully as a way of opening the conversation.

Sawyer glances at me through the rearview mirror and he just nods and smiles.

"When did you realise what was happening?" I ask tentatively.

He shrugs before he replies, "T briefed me before he left with Mr Grey, and then I saw you leaving a few minutes later so I put two and two together and I realised you must be going to try and help, and... well, it's my job to protect you Mrs Grey."

"I'm sorry, I don't make your job very easy at times do I?" I say apologetically.

"I will admit that it can be interesting at times Ma'am," he says wryly.

We both laugh. I have become quite fond of Sawyer over the years.

"Not as interesting as it used to be though, which I am more than thankful for" he adds after a moment.

We arrive home and after doing a brief search I find Christian in the meadow with the children, they are running and laughing in a carefree manner, every so often Christian winces as he shoulder pains him. I watch them from a distance until Christian glances my way and spots me watching, he says something to the children and points at me.

"MOMMY!" They all shout as one and run towards me, I hold open my arms and they run into them.

"Hi" I smile at Christian.

"Hi" he answers, how's Kate?"

"Improving," I say, "Detective Clarke arrived while I was there."

Christian nods but says nothing, changing the subject he says "what would you like to do then on this beautiful Saturday?"

"I don't know," I say.

The children spot Gail and happily run to her, leaving me and Christian alone, we walk back to the house hand in hand. As we are walking back I hear a car and I try and figure out who it is and as the car comes to a halt I quickly establish that Carrick and Grace have arrived. Christian frowns and strides quickly towards the car, keeping a tight grip on my hand.

"Mom, dad, is something wrong?" Christian says as he is clearly surprised by another visit so soon.

"Hello, Darling," Grace says and kisses his cheek and then gives me a hug. "Your father and I would like to take the children out for the day if that's alright with you, we thought you might like a bit of time to yourselves after everything that has happened?"

"Oh, I see, course it is, Ryan and Prescott will accompany you," Christian says with a smile.

About 20 minutes later we are waving Ted, Phoebe and Isobel away followed by Ryan and Prescott in the SUV.

"Well, it's just us now Mrs Grey what are we going to do?" Christian says, his eyes blazing with pure lust.

"We are not totally alone, Alexander is still here" I remind him.

"But he's asleep", Christian murmurs in my ear, and desire immediately shoots through my body.

"Hmm" I look up at Christian, "we could always revisit that rain check!"I say and I reach down and caress the growing bulge between his legs.

The desire in his eyes is scorching; he grabs my hand and practically drags me into the house.

A couple of hours later we are both sitting in the bath, relaxing. "We don't get to do this very often nowadays" Christian complains.

"What do you expect, we have a family, and work commitments" I reply I turn and face him "It makes it all the more special though when we do, do it" I tilt my head back and he lowers his head to place a small kiss on my lips and then he immediately deepens it.

We are disturbed by Christians phone buzzing, he glances over to the shelf and curses. Shifting me slightly, he reaches over and glances at the screen, hesitating slightly he frowns before he answers. 

"It's Elliot," he says, and then he answers with an abrupt "What do you want Elliot?" his tone indicating that he is clearly miffed that our special time has been interrupted. 

He listens and his mouth drops open, "You fucking idiot!" he spits down the phone and he shakes his head incredulously.

I am now paying full attention to the one sided conversation.

"Does Kate know yet?" he adds, "Well you have to tell her... you do realise that you have really blown it this time, what were you thinking... of course its going to destroy her especially now, yes, yes."

He glances at me and sighs "yes I'll ask her, you have monumentally fucked up Elliot, you do realise that don't you, yes, bye."

He hangs up and rubs his forehead, before shaking his head and tossing his phone onto the shelf.

"What's he done now?" I ask tentatively.

Christian pulls me closer and sighs, "I'm sorry to ask you this baby but would you mind going to the hospital later, as I think Kate is going to need you shortly?" he says into my hair.

"What's happened, Christian?" I ask again.

He pauses, "My idiot brother has only knocked up the whore he has been fucking."

I am so shocked by his bitterness and derogatory terminology it takes me a moment to process what he has said, but when it hits me, my hand shoots to my mouth and I gasp.

"Oh poor Kate, this is going to destroy her completely, especially now."

Christian nods in agreement, "Even Elliot realises this, which is why he called, he is going to tell her, and I think he wants you to deal with the fallout" he says as he looks at me apologetically.

"Christian, I have to go to her" he nods and then he reluctantly climbs out of the bath.

Things seem to happen in a hurry, I am just about to leave for the hospital when a car pulls into the driveway, its Elliot and he looks at me sheepishly as he climbs from the car. I glare at him unable to speak, as the anger is welling up inside me, so I just walk past him and climb into the car, where Sawyer is waiting for me. When I arrive at the hospital I am shocked to see Kate out of bed, dressed and wearing a steely glare of determination.

"Kate, what are you doing?" I ask.

"The doctors say I am well enough to go home, I just have to take it easy for a while, so I have been discharged. Ana would you mind running me home please... to my home?"

"Sure," I say, I am not going to question her at the moment, she looks like a woman on a mission, and I am just going to tag along and wait for her to talk.

"Where are the girls?" I ask, as Elliot was alone when he arrived at our house and there is no sign of them around the hospital.

She lets out a small derisive snort, "Carrick and Grace have taken them out, they came in this morning with your brood and offered to take the girls out for the day as well, I think the idea was that they want to give us both time alone with our husbands," she sounds vaguely bitter, which I totally expect considering what Elliot has done so I just nod and touch her hand.

"Don't Ana," she says sharply, and I immediately pull away.

She sighs and manages a small smile, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you, but I need a clear head and if you do that I am just going to crumble" she explains in a slightly softer tone, she looks at me and the hurt is evident in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I'm here when you do want to talk ok?" I say and take a step back from her.

She nods and then mouths "thank you".

Then she takes a deep breath and then smiles and says a little too brightly "Ok then ready?"

I nod as I reach for her bag and follow her out of the door. Sawyer is waiting for us and he takes Kate's bag from me and looks questioningly at me.

"Would you mind take us to Kate's place please?" I ask.

"Certainly Ma'am" he replies and holds the door open for us.

**oooOOOooo**

I am watching open-mouthed as Kate is systematically going through all the drawers and removing all Elliot's belongings, she looks at me, and she is breathing heavily.

"Let me help you," I say, "Just wait and I'll get Sawyer to help too, you have to take it easy".

I leave the room and I call Christian, because I am worried.

"Ana," he says after one ring.

"Christian is Elliot still with you?" I ask.

"Yes" he replies.

"Kate is a woman possessed she is clearing all his stuff out, she's scaring me."

"Can you blame her?" he replies.

"No, but ..." I stop Christian sounds so detached, why is he taking this so badly?

"Do you want me to send Taylor to help?" he asks suddenly.

"Please, that would be a big help, Kate needs to take it easy and there is only me and Luke here" I am relieved at that as another pair of hands is going to arrive.

When Taylor arrives, all Elliot's belongings are in a heap in the hallway and Kate is on the phone with a locksmith. Taylor raises his eyebrows as he looks at the massive pile of things on the floor, we bend and start to cram everything into rubbish bags which Kate has handed to us. A few moments later Kate has finished on the phone and comes to help.

Taylor looks at Kate sympathetically "Do you want me to take these to Mr Grey Ma'am?" he says.

"No" she replies, "he can fetch them himself if he wants them, just put them outside."

"Please" she adds quickly.

"Yes ma'am" Taylor replies and he looks at me.

I wonder what we must look like, Taylor, Sawyer and I walking outside with armfuls of rubbish bags and dumping them at the side of the house. 

The locksmith arrives and quickly sets to work changing all the locks on the house. Kate is sitting and looks deep in thought; then she picks up her mobile and dials a number.

"Hi Grace," she says brightly, "Listen, when you are ready to come home, would you mind bringing the girls back to my place please, as I am home from the hospital now... yes... yes I am, thank you, Grace I appreciate it, see you in a while, thanks, bye."

I had made a mental note of the fact she had said my house and wondered if Grace had picked up on that, or whether she thought everything was still alright, I feel so sorry for Grace, if she didn't know already she would soon find out about Elliot's disgrace. I sit down next to Kate and look hard at her, but before I can say anything we are disturbed by the locksmith who pokes his head around the door.

"All done ma'am," he says, as he holds out a key ring with four keys on it neatly labelled as to what each one opened. Kate smiles as she takes them from him and nods at the locksmith.

"Thank you," she said quietly, she stands and reaches for her purse and leaves the room with the locksmith.

A few minutes later she returns, "well that's that, all paid for and the house is now secure", as she says this something attracts her attention at the window, I turn to look and see Carrick and Grace pulling up outside. Grace steps from the car and she frowns at the pile of bags at the side of the house. Ava and Zoe leap from the car and run to the front door, my children are nowhere to be seen, and neither is Ryan or Prescott so I assume they have already gone home.

Kate lets Grace and Carrick in, and Ava and Zoe run to their mother and hug her tightly, then they spot me sitting like a spare part on the sofa.

"Hi Aunty Ana," says Ava smiling brightly.

"Hi sweetheart, did you have a good time?" I ask, she nods.

"Ted, Pheebs and Izzy have already gone home," she says, and then she looks around the room.

"Where's daddy?" she asks.

Kate stiffens, "he's with Uncle Christian at the moment," she says sharply.

Grace looks at her and frowns, then she glances at me and I shake my head, then she turns to Ava and Zoe.

"Why don't you two go upstairs and have a wash and get changed, you must be grimy after today".

They nod and disappear, Grace looks hard at Kate and then at me, "What's going on?" she asks after a brief hesitation.

Kate starts to tremble and Grace moves swiftly towards her, "Kate, what's going on?" she repeats.

"Elliot…" Kate begins and then stops and shakes her head sadly.

I see a look of resignation on Grace's face "What's he done now?" she asks. Carrick enters the room and takes a second to assess the situation and he moves quietly to the sofa and sits down.

Grace guides Kate towards me and lowers her on to the sofa beside me and then sits down the other side, we are all staring at Kate waiting for her to speak. I know what she is going to say, but it's not my place to say anything. Kate looks pleadingly at me and nods.

Great, she wants me to tell them.

I sit looking at my knotted fingers on my lap, I really don't want to do this.

"The woman Elliot has been having an affair with is pregnant, and claiming Elliot is the father," I say in a rush, Kate collapses in tears and Grace pulls her towards her and rocks her gently like a baby. Carrick looks thunderstruck, and the anger on his face is quite unnerving.

"Where is he?" he hisses.

"With Christian, I think" I mutter, and with that Carrick stands and leaves the room; I glance out of the window and see him roaring off down the drive. I sigh, I wouldn't want to be Elliot when his dad catches up with him. I turn back to Grace and Kate. Grace looks shell-shocked at this latest revelation.

"The stupid fool," she says and keeps repeating over and over.

Kate suddenly lifts her head and Grace releases her, she takes a huge sniff and sighs, Grace and I look at each other holding our breath, wondering what is going to happen next.

"I have thrown him out," she says simply to Grace, who nods back at her.

"Those bags outside are all his belongings and I've changed the locks" she adds. "I am proceeding with the divorce but changing my terms, I want this house, and child support for the girls, apart from that he can go to hell," she says firmly.

She turns to me, "Thank you for putting us up Ana" she says "but I am ready to come home now".

"OK, and you are welcome," I say not sure what else I can say to that.

Kate stands and turns to Grace "Thank you for taking the girls out today, but if you will excuse me I have things to do now" I look at Grace and she shrugs at me.

"Alright dear," she says, "we will leave you in peace, but don't hesitate to call us if you need anything" she looks hard at Kate, who smiles.

"Thank you, I will", she says.

We leave the house; I'm worried and voice my fears to Grace as we climb into the car. Grace nods and we drive home in silence. When we arrive I realise that Carrick and Elliot are in Christians study with the door shut, but despite that muffled voices are radiating through the door. Christian is nowhere to be seen, Grace takes a deep breath and opens the door to Christians study and goes in shutting the door behind her, I run upstairs searching for my husband, and I find him playing with the children in their huge nursery, he smiles as I walk in.

"What's happening?" I ask as Christian rises to his feet.

"I'll be back in minute gang ok, I need to talk to mommy about something," he says, and he ushers me out of the room and closes the door.

"I have no idea, dad arrived looking like a bear with a bee up its ass and he's been talking to Elliot ever since he arrived, how's Kate?"

"Scary" I say, "she has completely shut down, she has cleared all his stuff out and changed the locks, he is going to have a shock when he tries to go home tonight, and she is proceeding with the divorce" I pause and gesture to his study "Oh and Grace came back with me and she is in your study now as well". 

Christian nods "Well, he deserves everything he gets from them, Kate has never been my favourite person in the world but you can't blame her, Elliot has seriously crossed a line he deserves everything he gets from her as well, and if he thinks he's staying here, he has another think coming".

My mouth drops open, I didn't want Elliot here either but I was shocked at Christian's response. I look at him and wrap my arms around his waist.

"What's wrong Christian," I ask tentatively.

He sighs, "I can't believe what he did, I know he was always a bit of playboy screwing around but I thought that was all finished when he married Kate, I'm just disgusted with him, and I'm worried about the effect it's going to have on you."

"Me?" I say surprised.

"Yes, Kate is your best friend, Elliot is my brother, we are going to get stuck in the middle if we are not careful, and so I am disowning him so that doesn't happen. Kate is going to need your support, but I won't have Elliot using you as a go-between."

He wraps his arms tightly around me and pulls me close.

"Oh, Christian," I say.

He is always thinking of me, and the fact he is prepared to cut off his family for me makes me realise the depth of the love he has for me.

He suddenly looks determined and he looks at me and reaches into his pocket for his phone. He punches in a number.

"Kate, it's Christian", his voice is clipped and businesslike "yes she's here now, no, that's fine, listen to me... my lawyers are at your disposal, no not at all its the least I can do, you are Ana's friend, and my brother has crossed a line, you need anything, anything at all you call me do you understand? right... yes, no he won't be staying here... you are welcome, anything you need do you understand... yes… ok right… yes, good goodbye Kate" he hangs up.

Then without as much as a word he stalks downstairs and strides into his study, I watch from the stairs my mouth open as Christian, orders Elliot out of the house. I am shocked he is being so cold and callous. Elliot is dumbfounded and Carrick and Grace follow Christian out of the study as shocked as I am. I see Carrick trying to reason with Christian.

"NO!" He shouts, and he holds up his hand.

"I will not have my home used like a United Nations negotiation, I no longer have a brother, he has crossed a line, and I don't want him anywhere near me or my family."

Elliot slowly turns and leaves, he looks a broken man, Grace moves towards Christian and embraces him, she whispers something in his ear and he glances up towards me and then nods. Grace rubs his arm and then they are gone. Christian shuts the front door and then turns and comes towards me.

"What did Grace say?" I ask.

"She told me to look after you and warned me not to hurt you the way Elliot has hurt Kate," he says.

He looks at me and the sincerity is obvious in his eyes, "But I wouldn't Ana, I would never ever cheat on you, you are my life you are my reason for living, I need you more than I need air to breathe." He holds me close and squeezes me tightly.

"Right back at you" I whisper, just then the nursery door opens and three small faces peep out, Christian smiles and beckons them closer.

"Group hug" shouts Ted, at that moment Alexander starts to cry we all go into him and I lift him from his crib, I look around, my husband and my children, my little family. My mind suddenly remembers our little lost baby, Matthew, I gaze down at Alex and then across at Christian.

"Come here," I say "let's have that group hug!"


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

_One month later..._

A month has passed and things have been slowly returning to normal. I am back at work again now, albeit part-time, Christian is busy doing what he does best, and that is being master of the universe.

We have heard nothing from Elliot since the day Christian threw him out. He has not had a good month. He accepted Kate's terms and moved into a small apartment.

When Ethan found out about the baby, he was distraught and wanted to kill Elliot, and if it wasn't for Mia and Christian he probably would have done.

Kate is still distant, I don't think she wants to put us in the middle, of her marital difficulties. She was shocked when I told her how Christian had disowned Elliot for that very reason, but it hasn't stopped her pulling away. She took up Christian's offer of use of his legal team and I have my suspicions he is paying all the legal bills as well. Carrick and Grace still see Elliot but its hard for them, both Christian and Mia refuses to go to any event they host if their brother is going to be there, so as a result Elliot has put himself into a self-imposed exile.

I am at work, barely having a moment to myself, I have had meeting after meeting and it seems like it has been like this for the past couple of weeks. We have a new book launch coming up shortly and it is predicted to be a best seller.

I pause feeling the need for a break, I glance at my watch and I am surprised that it's lunchtime, and I suddenly have an overwhelming urge to see Christian, I have been pondering an idea which I want to run past him and that idea pops into my head once again so I decide to act on my desire to see my husband and I grab my purse and head towards reception.

"I'm off to lunch" I call to Hannah as I leave, she raises her hand to me.

Sawyer leaps to his feet as soon as he sees me enter the reception area, "Can you take me to Grey House please?" I ask.

"Certainly Ma'am," he says.

When we arrive at Grey House I march in and straight up to Christian's office and a number of people greet me as I pass. As I reach the executive floor Andrea glances up and her mouth drops open when she sees me.

"Mrs Grey, we weren't expecting you" she looks momentarily flustered which is unusual, Andrea is supremely efficient and rarely gets caught on the hop.

I smile, "I was just passing and thought I'd surprise Christian and see if he was available," I say lamely. I am kicking myself now for my impulsive whim, Christian is a supremely busy man and I bet he will be too busy to see me.

So I am shocked when she smiles and says "Well he is alone in his office at the moment if you want to go through."

I smile back and head towards Christians office door, and open it without knocking.

He is sitting at his desk peering at a computer screen; he is talking on the phone and sounds irritated. He looks up angrily at the interruption and nearly drops the phone in surprise when he sees me standing there and his face softens immediately.

I sit down quietly to let him finish his call and he returns his attention to the person on the other end of the line.

"Look, that's not acceptable, sort it and get back to me when it's done" he snarls down the phone and then hangs up.

In one fluid movement, he rises from his chair and is heading towards me with an anxious look on his face.

"Ana baby? Why are you here? What's wrong?" he asks as he pulls me to my feet and into his arms.

"Nothing, I just thought I'd surprise you and invite you out for lunch" I say, I am starting to regret my decision to act on my impulsive desire to see him, he pauses and glances at his computer, "but its ok if you are too busy" I add quickly "I should have called first" I am blushing now and I turn to leave.

Christian grabs my arm and pulls me back towards him.

"No baby, it's a lovely surprise, just wait a moment" he picks up the phone "Andrea, what time is my next appointment?... I see" he glances at his watch, "hold my calls, I am going to lunch with my wife, I will be back for my 2.30 appointment" then he hangs up.

I raise my eyebrows at him and he looks at me questioningly.

"What?" he asks.

I snort, "would it hurt you to say please and thank you?" I say sarcastically.

He smirks at me but doesn't answer, then he turns and grabs his jacket and holds his hand out which I take smiling brightly and we leave the office.

**oooOOOooo**

We are sitting in a small Bistro, chatting I feel the stress leaving me, it's amazing what being with Christian does for my mood. I decide to broach the subject I have been thinking about for a while.

"Christian," I say carefully.

"Yes, baby" he replies, immediately giving me his complete attention.

"It's our wedding anniversary next month," I say.

"And?" he replies grinning at me.

I slap his hand, "I'd like to do something... as a family, just us and the children" I look anxiously at him.

"Sure, we will do whatever you want" he replies.

I take a deep breath, here goes, what I've been thinking about is a big request but for Christian isn't insurmountable, "Can we go away for a few days?"

"Sure" he replies absentmindedly.

"Can we go abroad?" I ask tentatively, Christian's eyes shoot up to mine.

"Abroad?" he repeats, "Where?"

"England" I whisper and wait for his response to me asking to fly halfway around the world.

"England? Why?" he looks confused.

"Well, and I know it's a big ask to fly across the other side of the world for a few days, but, I have been talking to a publishing house in England and they want to publish Boyce's novels in the UK, and I wanted to go and have a look personally and I thought I'd like you to come with me as you will be able to see things I would probably miss and well, its where we spent our honeymoon so we could have a bit of a holiday as well and we show the children some of the things we saw when we were on honeymoon there."

I wait hardly daring to look at Christian, who is thinking about what I have said.

"Sure, sounds a great idea, I will sort it," he says simply.

My mouth drops open "Well that was easy" I say dumbfounded.

Christian smiles at me and grasps my hand "Ana, you should know by now that it is my primary mission in life to make you happy, and besides it sounds like it could be a very profitable venture, so it's a no brainer, consider it done".

My lunch break ends all too quickly and I return to my office, I am still reeling from Christian's easy acceptance of my idea to travel to England when my phone rings.

"Ana Grey," I say.

"Ana, it's me, please don't hang up" I nearly drop the phone in shock, it's Elliot. He sounds so miserable I start to feel sorry for him, and then I remember what he has done to my best friend.

"What do you want Elliot?" I ask, trying to sound harsh.

"Just to talk... please Ana," he pleads.

"Ok," I say thawing a little.

"Can I come and see you? At work obviously, as I don't think Christian will be very impressed if I turned up at your home!"

I try to imagine Christians reaction if he knew Elliot is on the phone at this moment, and an involuntary shiver runs through me, I pause a moment but I can't say no.

"OK," I say finally.

Christian is going to freak about this but I am secretly curious as to what he has to say, and I have to say I am slightly uncomfortable about Christian's callous decision about cutting him off so completely.

I had tried to reason with him when did it, but he wouldn't be moved, I tried to say I didn't want to come between him and his brother, and I still shudder as I remember the look he gave me and the chilling way he said 'I have no brother', he had gone on to reason that he was never related to Elliot by blood, as they were both adopted and so in his mind that was it, no discussion, subject closed.

I am pulled from my thoughts as Elliot says "Can I come now... if you are not too busy?"

I quickly mentally run through my afternoon schedule and realise there is nothing I can't put off.

"Alright" I say warily.

About 20 minutes later my phone rings, and its Clare on reception, "Mr Grey is here to see you" she says.

"Thank you, Clare, send him up" I say as I mentally and physically brace myself for what is about to happen.

As Elliot enters the room, I see Sawyer hovering behind him, he has his phone in his hand and a concerned expression on his face so I stand to go out to him.

"Please Luke, don't tell Taylor he's here, he will tell Christian and he will come charging over and I really don't want a scene. I just want to hear what Elliot has to say, it's not like he's going to hurt me, he's Christians brother for gods sake!"

Sawyer nods but I can see he feels uncomfortable about it, I sigh, I wish all the unpleasantness would just go away. Elliot appears and I take a good look at him for the first time and I am shocked, he looks terrible, he has lost weight, a lot of weight and his eyes have lost that bright twinkle they always had. He is unshaven and he looks gaunt and ill.

"Thank you for seeing me Ana, and I'm sorry to do this to you, but I don't know what else to do, you were my only hope."

I lead Elliot into my office and close the door. I phone Hannah and ask her to take my calls. I take a deep breath and look Elliot in the eye and wait.

He sighs, "I don't think the baby is mine" he says.

Oh, alright then, I wasn't expecting that, I look at him and frown, "What do you expect me to do about it?" I ask confused and slightly irritated.

Elliot looks at me hopefully, "Under normal circumstances, I would have gone to Christian for advice, and got him to run checks and do a little digging, but obviously the way things are, well..."

I nod, "What makes you think things aren't right?" I ask. 

He relaxes slightly and continues, "I don't know call it a hunch, but things just don't add up. The dates don't add up to start with and other little things she has said and done so I can't help thinking that its the Grey name she has gone for, I mean I know that I am nowhere near as wealthy as Christian" he pause and snorts "very few people are, but I have my own building business and I'm not short of a bob or two" he stops speaking and so I jump in.

"What's she like, what's her name?" I ask intrigued.

"Susan," he says, "well she calls herself Suzy so I assume its Susan or Susannah."

I freeze at the name, oh my god no, surely not?! I try and fight the rising panic and I try and reason that the name Susannah is a common one, so the likelihood it is _that_ Susannah is slim.

"What does she look like?" I ask and hold my breath and praying he says anything but petite brunette.

"Erm, small, slim, brunette, actually she looks a bit like you, but not really, if you get what I mean."

My heart sinks, I know exactly who it is I sigh trying to work out what I am going to do now.

"Don't worry Elliot I'll talk to Christian I can't promise anything but I will do my best" I say.

"Thanks, Ana, you're the greatest, as he listens to you," he gets up looking a lot more hopeful, I walk towards him and he gives me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek and he smiles at me as he leaves.

I sit down, reeling, Oh shit what the hell!

I grab my phone and call Christian, trying to work out in my mind what I am going to say. He answers on the second ring."

"Ana" he purrs in that way which makes me go weak.

"Christian something has happened, and I need to talk to you, now" I blurt out.

"What's wrong, is it the children...?" he is panicking and I can picture him on his feet and running his hands through his hair.

"The children are fine" I assure him, kicking myself for my overly dramatic brain to mouth malfunction. "Listen I don't want to talk about this over the phone, but it is urgent and I'm a bit worried."

"Don't worry baby, whatever it is we can sort it, I'm on my way" he hangs up without another word leaving me staring at the phone.

I was going to suggest I went to him and so now I feel guilty for dragging him away from his work.

About 15 minutes later Christian strides into my office looking anxious and as he closes the door behind him I stand and walk towards him, he doesn't hesitate and he sits in the chair in front of my desk and pulls me into his lap.

"Well?" he asks, he is radiating anxiety and tension.

"First of all I want you to promise me that you are not going to overreact," I say.

He tenses, "Ana just talk" he snaps.

Oh god, this is not going to be fun.

"Elliot came to see me," I say carefully and then I pause and wait for the explosion, but it doesn't come, but he is staring at me impassively, his eyes are icy so I know that he is controlling his temper and I can feel he is angry.

I sigh, and continue, "He doesn't think the baby is his, he needs our, well your help to do a bit of digging, on the girl..." I pause and squeeze his hand, "but I think you won't have to do that because I think you know her Christian."

He frowns "what exactly are you trying to tell me Ana?" he asks in that clipped tone which tells me he is struggling with trying to control his rapidly spiralling anger.

"I asked Elliot what the girl was like, and he said she looked like me, and I asked him what her name was and he said she called herself Suzy."

"What?!" The colour drains from Christian face, he pushes me off his knee and stands running both hands through his hair, he pauses and pulls his phone from his pocket and dials.

"Elliot, it's Christian, meet me in..." he glances at his watch, "...30 minutes at Grey House, yes... fine, goodbye."

He stares at me, the worry is written all over my face, and he suddenly relaxes and his face softens as he smiles at me.

"It's ok baby, I'll sort it" and with that, he kisses my cheek and then he is gone.

I cannot rest or concentrate on my work, I keep thinking over and over about Christian's reaction to what I told him, he has never told his family about his lifestyle before me and as far as they know I was his first girlfriend. I try to concentrate on my work but after about an hour I can't stand it anymore, so I gather up the pile of paperwork I am trying to do and leave the office.

"I am working from home Hannah," I say as I leave.

"Sure, no problem" she answers.

I go out to the reception and Sawyer jumps up, "Going home Ma'am?" he asks.

I nod, and then stop, "Actually no, would you take me to Grey House again please?" I ask.

Sawyer hesitates and then nods.

We soon arrive and as we are waiting at the lights to turn into the car park I see a cab pull up outside and a small slight brunette climbs out. I go cold, its Susannah, I recognise her and remember her from when she came with Leila to see me, years ago. I can't control myself and leap out of the car leaving Sawyer panic-stricken as I run towards her.

"Susannah!" I call and she spins around and stares at me, then recognition spreads over her face.

"Is that you, Mrs Grey?" she asks hesitantly.

I nod, "I'm assuming Christian called you. May I speak to you before you go in?" I ask.

She nods at me, I glance around to see Sawyer speeding into the car park, with a face like thunder, and I grab her by the elbow.

"Come with me, we don't have long," I whisper to her.

I lead her to a small cafe nearby. She looks frightened; I think she probably wonders what the hell I am doing and if I am a crazy person the way I am behaving, to be fair though I am wondering what the hell I am doing.

As soon as we are inside its almost as if a dam breaks inside her and she blurts out "Look I don't want to cause any trouble, I didn't know Elliot was Mr Grey's brother, and I didn't know he was married, honestly, please believe me. As soon as I found out I tried to end it but he wouldn't leave me alone, and then I found out I was pregnant and I panicked so I lied to him telling him different dates and stuff so he wouldn't think it was his baby, honestly Mrs Grey I... just want all this to go away." She lowers her head and she starts to sob.

I wasn't expecting that, I stand and pull her towards me and I try and comfort her. I look up and see Christian and Taylor looking at me, I glare at him trying to warn him not to bully her.

"Susannah," he says, immediately she reacts she turns to face him but looks down at the floor.

"Yes Sir" she whispers, she is terrified of him, of what he is going to say.

"I heard what you just said, will you come with me and we can talk about this, with Elliot?" he says firmly, I watch her reaction and she hesitates and grips my hand like a small child.

"I'm coming with her", I say staring straight at Christian with a 'don't you dare say no' look on my face, he rubs his face and then sighs deeply and nods.

I help Susannah to her feet and lead her sobbing out of the cafe into Grey House, by a side entrance. Once we are in Christians office, Taylor slips from the room and I lead her to the table where Elliot is already sitting, I take a seat opposite him and Susannah sits beside me still hanging on to my hand, so there we are, Christian, Elliot one side of the table and Susannah and myself the other.

"Would you like something to drink? Christian asks her kindly, and her reaction is one of bewildered shock, she looks up sharply and she is openly gaping. Good god is this the first time he has spoken to her in a reasonable way?

"Yes please, sir" she stammers.

Christian calls Andrea to get some drinks and then he returns to the table, a few moments later Andrea enters with a tray of refreshments and places on the table.

"Thank you Andrea" Christian says politely.

"So, first of all are you pregnant and is my brother the baby's father?" Christian says, bluntly.

Susannah nods and she reaches into her bag and produces hospital documentation and scan pictures of her baby, which prove to a point that Elliot is the father. She is pale and trembling, Elliot scowls at her, I see the look he gives her and anger courses through me and I can't control myself.

"Don't you dare look at her like that", I hiss my hands fisting on the table, "you are as much to blame for this mess, more if you want my opinion, as you knew you were married, a fact you conveniently failed to mention to her and you should not have crossed that line, you cheated on your wife Elliot how low is that?"

Elliot visibly recoils he is shocked, I am sure he has heard worse from Christian and his father, but hearing it from me shocked him to the core.

"ANA" Christian shouts sharply.

My head snaps round to face him, I am still seething, "WHAT!" I shout back rudely.

"Ana please calm down," he says in a quieter tone. He runs his hands through his hair; he is totally out of his depth and doesn't know what to say, so I take charge of the situation.

"Susannah, what do _you_ want to do?" I ask her kindly.

"She..." Elliot starts but I put my hand up and glare at him with such ferocity he stops immediately.

"Since when has your name been Susannah?" I say sarcastically to him and he puts his head down. I return my attention to Susannah.

"As I was saying, what do you want to do?" I ask kindly.

She looks up at me and her eyes are glittering with tears.

"I can't get rid of it, I'm sorry but I can't" she lets out a small sob and she places a protective hand on her stomach.

"Nobody is telling you that you have to," I say.

"He did" she whispers looking at Elliot, I feel sick, how could he do that. At this moment I hate him and Christian is also looking at him in disgust.

"Well if you want this baby, then that is your right," I say. "What do _you_ want?" I ask again.

I watch as confidence starts to fill her as someone is actually listening to her and asking her what she wants.

"I want to keep my baby, but I want nothing to do with him. He lied to me, he told me he was separated, as soon as I realised who he was and that he was married with children, I tried to end it, I really did, but he wouldn't leave me alone, he kept coming to me and I tried to walk away I really did but he wouldn't let me," she is sobbing again.

"Susannah, do you have ... will you manage on your own?" Christian says gently, he is picking his words carefully, so not to distress her any further.

He looks as though he is hurting. I can see what is going through his mind, a young mother with a baby which wasn't planned. It is hitting a little bit too close to home for him.

She nods, "my mom said she will help me take care of the baby, while I am working all day, she runs a day care centre."

Christian nods, "Do you want Elliot to have any contact?" he asks.

She thinks for a moment, "only if he wants to, I don't want him flitting in and out of my baby's life, my dad did that to me and it's not fun waiting for your dad to arrive and he never shows up."

Christian nods, and then he looks uncomfortable "Do you... do you... do you... want Elliot to contribute financially toward the baby?"

She looks straight a Christian and pulls herself up, "I'm not a gold digger" she says with pride in her voice and I smile at her change in demeanour.

I squeeze her hand, "he wasn't suggesting you are, he was just checking you could cope financially, that's all," I say to her.

"I'm sorry, well... if I'm honest I would really, I have spent all my savings on my hospital fees up to now, as I don't have very good health insurance you see."

Christian closes his eyes and shakes his head when he opens them they are blazing with anger.

"Elliot, if this child is yours you have to take responsibility for this," he says quietly, too quietly.

Elliot nods, he hasn't said a word, but he is looking more ashamed as the time wears on.

Christian takes charge, "Right, Susannah it is only fair we establish paternity to get everything on a legal footing, this can be done before the baby is born or afterwards. Elliot once paternity is established and if you are confirmed as the biological father of her baby you are going to pay this girls hospital bills, you are going to get her some decent health insurance, and you are going to set up a bank account for your child and you are going to deposit a set amount in it every month without fail, you will back pay that account to when she first told you she was expecting your child and you will reimburse her the money she has spent in hospital fees up to this point, and if you don't so god help me you will regret it".

He stands abruptly and leans over Elliot "is that clear?" he adds with such menace I shudder.

Elliot swallows deeply "yes" he whispers, he looks at Susannah "I'm sorry," he says, "Don't worry I will take care of you and the baby, if it's mine," he says. 

Suzannah looks him in the eye, "I am 100% certain this baby is yours" she says coldly.

Elliot nods and then he stands up, "I'm sorry but I have to go as I have a meeting with an architect in 20 minutes, I will sort everything, don't worry about a thing," he says.

Susannah nods, and Elliot turns and leaves. An awkward silence descends on the room as the door shuts.

"I'll do a paternity test as soon as I am able to and I swear I didn't know he was your brother," Susannah says quietly.

"I would never have got involved if I did, I haven't said anything about..." she glances uncomfortably at me "you know... us before, you know, and I won't, I could never hurt you like that sir" she pauses and turns to look at me.

"You have been so nice to me Mrs Grey, I mean today I was so frightened, and having you here with me really helped, then there was that time when I turned up with Lulu at your office, you could have thrown me out but you were nice to me back then, and all this it must be... weird!" she smiles, and I can't help thinking what a lovely smile she has.

Christian smiles kindly at her, "thank you, Susannah."

"Mrs Grey?" she turns to me once more, "would you tell his wife I am sorry, and that I didn't know, and that I tried to end it when I did, please!"

I nod, my sympathy for this girl is growing by the minute, and the fact she was my husband's sub many years ago, is irrelevant to me now, she appears to be a thoroughly decent young woman who has been treated very badly by Elliot.

She glances at her watch and gathers all her hospital papers, "I have to go, I have a hospital appointment soon across town, and while I'm there I'll ask about arranging a paternity test."

"Taylor will take you!" Christian says.

I watch as she stands up straight and looks him in the eye. "No thank you, Mr Grey," she says politely "that's very kind of you but I can manage" she smiles I realise this is a huge thing for her, it is the first time she has said no to Christian, and what he does next will prove how he now sees her.

He pauses thinking for a moment and then smiles "Alright, If you are sure, but the offer is there," he says.

I beam at him, I am so proud of my husband at this moment. He looks at me confused as to why I am grinning like an idiot at him.

Susannah walks slowly towards the door, she pauses and looks back at us standing there watching. "Thank you both for everything," she says and with that, she is gone.

I look at Christian, and go and hug him and plant a huge kiss on his lips, "Well done!" I say.

He frowns, "For what?" he asks.

"You handled that brilliantly, I am so proud of you, she seems a lovely girl."

"Hmm," he says, "But not as lovely as you," he says as his arms tighten around me and his hand grips my head and he kisses me soundly.

I respond greedily and when we break apart I whisper to him "Take me home Mr Grey."

"With pleasure!" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting with Kate, I have just told her everything that happened the previous day, and who Susannah is, and she is looking at me with her mouth open.

"Ana, you are so naive, do you seriously think she is what she seems, especially with her history with Christian?"

I shake my head and try and get Kate to understand.

"Honestly Kate, it's not like that, you didn't see her she was distraught" I say, I can't believe I would ever be sitting talking to my best friend about one of Christians ex's and I am even more incredulous that I am taking Susannah's side and trying to make my best friend see she is the victim in all this.

Kate looks sceptical, and I lose patience, "Look Kate, I believe her, she has tried to say sorry and do the right thing, in my opinion it's your husband who is to blame for this mess, the fact she was Christian's sub years ago is irrelevant and a coincidence, its not her fault Elliot is a man-whore who has screwed..."

I stop dead, I have just let slip something Christian told me years ago about Elliot which I'd not thought about until it just popped into my head and was coming out of my mouth, I have never regretted a brain to mouth malfunction more in my life.

Kate gapes at me, I have never spoken to her like that before and she is reeling, "man-whore?" she says her eyes widening, "what do you mean by that, what do you know about Elliot?"

"Nothing, I was just being spiteful" I lie desperately backtracking.

"I don't believe you, Ana, I know when you are lying tell me" she is adamant.

I sigh, "Years ago, it was that time soon after Christian and I got married and we all went to Aspen, when Elliot proposed to you. I saw Elliot with Gia, It turned out it was all totally innocent, but I got the wrong idea and told Christian because I was worried and I wanted to run it past him before I said anything to you. He made a flippant comment that Elliot had screwed half of Seattle, but he assured me that it would be innocent and as it turned out it was and he proposed to you that evening, so obviously I never said anything as I assumed he had changed his ways because he loved you, for some reason that just popped into my head, and unfortunately it also came out of my mouth" I stop and look at my friend apologetically.

The silence is unbearable, "Say something" I mutter when I can't bear it any longer.

She smiles suddenly, "Ok I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... for now, but I'm not convinced" she pauses, "I would really like to meet her though, to see if I see what you do, after all..." she pauses again and she stiffens, "if the baby is Elliot's we will have children who are siblings".

I hug Kate to me, and she pulls away "would you try and organise it for me to meet her please?" I nod whilst wondering how the hell I am going to go about this.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting playing with my children, spending some quality time with them. Izzy is sitting happily in my lap as I sit on the floor with them, Phoebe is busy colouring and Ted is playing on his games console, he is so good at those games, when he plays with Christian he trounces him in the games they play, I don't even begin to understand them.

I love my children and can't imagine my life without them, my mind suddenly and inexplicably wanders to my lost baby, Matthew, and I have an overwhelming urge to go and check on Alex. I stand with Izzy in my arms and wander into Alexander's room next door; he is lying cooing and babbling in his crib playing with the multitude of toys hanging around him. I smile, and sigh with relief. Izzy struggles from my arms and I set her down at the side of the crib, and she puts her small hand through the bars and gently strokes Alexander's head.

I lift Alexander from his crib and make my way to the chair, as I cradle him and waggle toys at him he smiles and reaches for them, Izzy clambers on to me and snuggles up with us, the door opens and Phoebe and Ted appear and come over to us, Phoebe, settles down on the floor with her colouring book and Ted moves the stool and sits staring a me intently.

I look at him and smile, he has my blue eyes but he is so like his father in looks as well as his nature, it's unnerving.

"Mommy?" he says, looking at me as though his eyes are boring into my very soul.

"Yes Ted" I reply as I look at him.

He pauses "Why is daddy angry with Uncle Elliot and why doesn't he and Aunty Kate come round together anymore?"

I sigh, wondering how I explain this, "Well," I start and then pause, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Because Uncle Elliot has done some very silly things and he has upset a lot of people," a voice replies from the doorway. I look up and Christian is leaning casually against the door frame.

"DADDY!" Isobel squeals so loudly she makes Alexander jump and start to grizzle. She wriggles off my lap and charges towards Christian and as he holds his arms out to her she launches herself into them and he swings her up into his arms.

"Hello, Daddy!" I say grinning at Christian, whilst trying to console Alex.

"Hello, mommy!" Christian replies giving me a scorching look which makes me blush.

Ted walks over to Christian "Daddy, are Uncle Elliot and Aunty Kate getting divorced?"

Christian glances at me, looking a little startled by the question, then crouching beside Ted he hesitates a moment and then he puts his hand on his small shoulder.

"I think so" he says carefully.

Ted looks worried, and grabs Christian's hand.

"My friend Lewis' mommy and daddy got divorced, he lives with his mommy now and sees his daddy only at weekends."

"Does he" Christian replies looking into Ted's worried gaze, "What's the matter, Ted?" Christian asks.

I notice Phoebe has gone very still and is waiting for Ted to speak, she suddenly drops her pen and runs to Ted and grips his arm.

"Ask him Teddy" she says shoving him with her elbow.

Ted looks at Phoebe, then me and then looking Christian straight in the eye, he says in a voice so small we can hardly hear, "Will you and mommy get divorced too?"

Christians reaction is immediate he folds his son into his arms and pulls him onto his lap, "No why on earth would you think such a thing?"

"Because Lewis said his mommy and daddy were always working and disappearing then when they were together they went off and talked out the way and then... and then... Lewis' daddy went away" tears spring into his eyes.

I think about the past few months and everything that has happened, we have hardly spent any time together as a family, we have been working and going out of earshot and discussing Elliot and before that was the business with Jack it has been a tumultuous time and we have failed to see what effect this has been having on our children.

Christian hugs Ted tightly and tears spring into his eyes, "Teddy I promise you mommy and I are not getting divorced, I will never leave mommy and you guys".

Ted relaxes and smiles, "Ok," he says then turning to me he says "What's for dinner I'm starving?"

I laugh and say "Why don't you go and find Mrs Taylor and ask her" Ted jumps up and runs out of the room closely followed by Phoebe and Isobel.

I turn to Christian "I had no idea."

Christian frowns "neither did I, I think we should take off on that trip to England soon, I think we all need it!"

I nod, I remember what happened to today with Kate, should I mention it now, I decide to take the plunge.

"Christian, I saw Kate today" I look at him.

"Oh, and?" he looks at me.

"She wants to meet Susannah."

Christian frowns again "I see," he says.

"She knows what she was to you," I add.

"What?!" he exclaims.

"Oh come on Christian she knows everything, you know she does."

"I don't mean that, it's what you just said, 'what she was to me'. Ana she was nothing to me, she was a bit of light relief at weekends, nothing more."

I get irritated "I know that, oh for goodness sake Christian stop being so touchy about her, I was trying to be tactful, it was a figure of speech that's all it didn't mean anything, anyway can you get in touch with her so I can arrange for Kate to meet her?"

Christian nods but he doesn't look happy about it, "I didn't want you to get caught up in the middle of all this, it's not fair, you have been through enough recently without taking on everyone else's problems" he says irritably.

I smile and move towards him still cradling Alex, "Do you know how much I love you when you say things like that?" I say and touch his face.

His eyes smoulder and he takes Alex from my arms and places him in his crib, and takes my hand to lead me from the room, we are thwarted by the door flying open and Ted coming rushing in shouting.

"Its spaghetti bolognaise, my favourite, and Mrs Taylor said its ready in..." he pauses and screws up his face then he glances at Phoebe who whispers in his ear.

"Five minutes," he says looking proud at remembering most of the message.

"Well, we all had better get washed and ready then hadn't we?" I say, and with that, a stampede of footsteps disappears out of the door.

After dinner, Christian disappears to his office and makes a call a few minutes later he returns.

"Well she agreed to meet Kate, but she's not very happy about it," he says, "She asked if you would go with her" he pauses and looks at me questioningly.

"Well I intended to, so I hope you said I would," I say firmly looking at him daring him to disagree.

He looks uncomfortable "Christian," I say looking at him.

He sighs and waves his hand in the air "Fine, I will make the arrangements" he turns and disappears again.

After bathing the children and putting them to bed, Christian comes to find me, I am in the library, ploughing through a mountain of paperwork, I glance up as he enters.

"It's all arranged, I called Kate and Susannah."

"Fine" I reply and smile, "thank you for sorting that out for me" I add.

"Susannah has had the paternity test done, and it is definitely Elliot's baby," he says.

"I see" I reply.

"Come here," Christian says in that tone of voice which makes me go weak, I stand immediately and walk towards him.

"How about we finish what we were going to do earlier when we were interrupted," he whispers seductively in my ear, I almost melt.

"How could I refuse?" I say and kiss him soundly.

The next day I am sitting in a private office in Grey House with Susannah who is looking absolutely terrified. I smile at her and she manages a weak one in return. A moment later Kate breezes in, she stares at Susannah and then at me, and stops in her tracks, all the fight seeming to leave her body, she steps towards Susannah who is standing and holding out a shaky hand towards Kate.

"Hello, Mrs Grey" she whispers in a hoarse trembling voice.

Kate's eyes soften slightly and accepts her hand, "Hello" she replies shortly.

There is an awkward silence, and I will someone to say something.

In the end, Susannah, blurts out "I am so sorry, I didn't know, I just didn't."

After that, things seem to start moving Kate starts questioning Susannah in her usual forthright manner and Susannah answers her politely, I am sitting watching in silence and after about 10 minutes of intense grilling from Kate there is a pause.

Kate sighs "I don't think we will ever be friends, but I believe you, I know what Elliot is like, and everything you have said sounds plausible."

Susannah nods, "I did try to end it when I found out he was married, but he kept pestering me, but I never slept with him again after I found out he was married" She pauses and pulls out a piece of paper from her purse, "I have had a paternity test done too to prove Elliot is my baby's father" she says as she offers Kate the paper.

Kate nods. She reads the piece of paper and then hands it back without a word. She glances down at Susannah's stomach where there is a faint hint of a bump starting to appear.

I look from Kate to Susannah and decide to put in my two pennyworth "If you ask me he screwed you both over!" I say.

They both nod and Kate looks at Susannah, "I don't blame you." She says quietly.

Susannah sags with relief and smiles back she reaches out to touch Kate's hand and says "Honestly I am very sorry."

Kate surprises Susannah and me by standing abruptly and hugging her tightly, "take care of yourself she says" her voice thick with emotion and with that, she turns and leaves.

Susannah looks shell-shocked, "I think I'd better go," she says.

"Thank you for coming with me Mrs Grey" she adds as she picks up her bag.

"You are welcome," I say kindly.

I look hard at Susannah, she looks like the type of person who wouldn't hurt a fly and so all this must be really upsetting for her. I watch her leave and go in search of Kate, I find her in the bathroom, blowing her nose.

"Kate," I say and she glances up at me.

"Oh Ana" she moans and I hold her as she sobs into my shoulder.

As we prepare to leave Grey House, Christian appears and strolls towards us he looks at Kate briefly and then at me. Kate offers him a watery smile.

"Thank you for arranging this Christian" she says and holds out her hand to him, his face softens and he takes it.

"No problem, if you need anything, just call," he says.

He turns to me, puts his hand on my shoulder and plants a small chaste kiss on my lips, "I have to get back to work, laters baby" he mutters in my ear.

I watch him as he turns on his heel and leaves us.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

We are walking through the crowded London streets, the children are wide-eyed and taking in everything that is going on. Christian organised the trip for our anniversary as he promised he would and after everything that has happened recently it feels good to just get away from it and have a complete break.

Alex is not even aware he is in a different country and at this moment he is fast asleep in his pram which I am pushing with Ted and Phoebe walking at my side. They are looking wide eyed at everything and taking it all in. Christian is strolling along carrying Izzy on his shoulders. We have done so much already, but there is no sign of the children tiring. We have done a lot of touristy things like The Tower of London, The London Eye and London Zoo and at this moment we are now walking towards Harrods, where we have promised the children afternoon tea and walking at a discreet distance behind us is Taylor and Sawyer.

I glance at Christian as he is suddenly very quiet and I wonder if something is the matter, as he has been the consummate tour guide pointing out landmarks and other interesting things to me and to the children. As I look at him I clearly see he looks excited about something which confuses me even more so I keep my thoughts to myself; as I am sure everything will eventually become clear and as we arrive at the large Harrods store, he pauses and then leans towards me and whispers in my ear.

"I have a surprise for you," he glances at his watch and then around to Taylor who smiles and nods.

"What are you up to?" I ask looking at him suspiciously.

"You'll see," he says smugly. He lifts Isobel from his shoulders, and as he opens the door he looks into the faces of our children.

"Best behaviour, ok," he says kindly but firmly.

Izzy nods solemnly and Ted and Phoebe both say "yes daddy" in unison.

We walk in and head towards the restaurant, as I walk in my mouth drops open at the figure who stands and then saunters towards me with a huge grin on his face.

"Jose" I squeal and fling my arms around him, he laughs and catches me in his arms.

"Hey Ana!" he says "It's good to see you again."

"Jose, Jose, Jose" Ted is jumping up and down unable to contain his delight.

Jose releases me and crouches to greet Ted and hopefully calm him down.

"Hey, Champ you remember me?! High five!" Jose says raising his hand which Ted slaps enthusiastically, then Ted throws himself at Jose almost overbalancing him and gives him an affectionate hug.

"Hi Christian," Jose says as he eventually rises to his feet again and he extends his hand out which Christian shakes warmly. His attention is drawn to Phoebe and Izzy who are both unnaturally quiet. Izzy has never met Jose and Phoebe was too young to remember him the last time I saw him in person.

"Hello, and what's your name little lady?" he says crouching down once more and he holds out his hand to Izzy but she immediately flings her arm around Christians leg and hides her face.

He turns his attention to Phoebe and she smiles albeit nervously at him so he repeats the gesture to her.

"Hello Phoebe, you don't remember me do you?" he says to her, she shakes her head at him and looks warily at his hand.

"I can't believe how much you guys have grown," he says looking from Phoebe to Ted and back again.

Jose is now standing and peering into the pram, "This must be the latest addition to the Grey family" he says smiling kindly.

I still think I am dreaming as I can't believe he is here, in London. My attention is brought back to Christian as he speaks.

"Shall we sit down?" he says as he takes control of the situation and gestures towards a table.

"What are you doing in London? I say.

"Well I have a job, I am working for an advertising company where I take a few snaps and they pay me for doing it!" he says casually. 

I am so pleased for him and it shows as I beam at him.

"I also have an exhibition coming up of my work, obviously I don't want to be tied to the advertising company forever, but for the time being it keeps the wolves from the door!"

I gape at him, "An exhibition, here in England? You have gone global; oh I am so proud of you!" I say.

"I couldn't have done it without Christian's help," he says generously as he glances at Christian.

I also look at my husband who just waves his hand dismissively and looks slightly embarrassed.

We spend a lovely afternoon with Jose just chatting and catching up. I have not seen him in person since Phoebe was 2, and I was heavily pregnant with Izzy, and he crashed at our place for a few days. We have kept in contact with Skype, email, phone and text but to see him in the flesh again after so long is so good.

Christian stands suddenly "come on gang," he says "let's go and explore so we can leave mommy and Jose to talk in peace".

I smile at him and remember back to how jealous he got when Jose and I were in the same room when we first met, my husband is come a long way over the years. Jose smiles as he watches them go.

"Who is that guy and what has he done with Christian Grey?" he asks with a grin.

I laugh but before I can respond Jose speaks again. "I never figured Christian as Mr Domestic," he says.

"He's a wonderful father, and I don't know what I would've done without him recently, he's been my rock" I say with total sincerity.

Jose looks hard at me and reaches over to grasp my hand, "How are you, really?" he says seriously.

I feel tears starting to prick and I blink rapidly to get rid of them. I take a deep breath and nod, "I'm doing ok, it's been hard but I think I am getting there, slowly," I say.

I cast my mind back to the last time we had spoken and how I had, had a complete meltdown. That particular day Jose had called me to check in and see how things were with us it was shortly after I'd lost Matthew and he caught me at a bad moment. I broke down in tears on the phone, and I had just sobbed and spilled my guts out to him, I am certain he hadn't bargained for it but to his credit he stayed on the line and just listened to me while I ranted and cried then he had talked me down.

"But I have this little one to keep me busy and the others of course" I say resting my hand protectively on the pram.

Jose squeezes my hand. We sit and talk and I tell him about Kate and Elliot, and he shakes his head sadly, I tell him about work and how that is one of the reasons why we are here in London, and he tells me how grateful he is to Christian for his assistance, apparently he had recommended Jose to the head of the advertising company who was an old business acquaintance when he was looking for a new in house photographer, and he had been approached and hired. Then due to that posting and the exposure it gave him Jose was then approached to show an exhibition of his work and Christian had helped him to finance it.

He sighs suddenly, "I am so grateful for all the help Christian has given me, this has been the opportunity of my life, and really it's been a blast."

"But?" I say looking at him.

He looks at me and smiles ruefully, "I miss my dad, and he's not getting any younger." I see the wistful look in his eye and I smile and grasp his hand.

"I can relate to that" I reply.

"So..." he says and now I see he is looking at me with more than a little bit of excitement.

"I'm coming home; I'm coming back to the States. I'm still going to be working for the advertising company, but back in the States at their Seattle office, so I will be able to see my dad regularly other than via Skype".

"What about your exhibition?" I say surprised but also delighted at this revelation.

"Oh it will be after that, my exhibition starts next week, and runs for a month, and then I transfer back to Seattle in 3 months time". 

I nod and smile at him, "Well there will be no excuse then for you to come and see us more often" I say.

"You can count on it! You will be sick of the sight of me!" he says.

"Never!" I reply sincerely.

We talk and reminisce about old times about how we all were at college and time just flies by; all too soon I see my family coming back, Christian reappears with the children at his side, and inevitably they are all carrying bulging Harrods bags.

"You've been spoiling them again," I say with a grin but Christian just waves his hand dismissively.

I feel sad as I stand to leave, it has been so good seeing Jose again, as I hug him, he wraps his arms tightly around me and squeezes, and after a moment Christian pulls me gently from his arms.

"Enough fondling my wife," he says and I shake my head and glance knowingly at Jose, he made it sound like a joke but I could hear the undercurrent of possessive jealousy still lurking in the background. Jose just grins widely and extends his hand to Christian.

"It was good to see you again Christian, and thanks again for everything you have done for me".

I look from my husband to my best friend who I have always considered more of a brother and it does me good to see them so relaxed and genuinely pleased to be in each others company.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of the trip goes well, my visit to the publishing company is a success but my favourite part of that visit was returning with Christian and seeing Taylor and Sawyer playing with our children. Sawyer was kicking a ball about with Ted and Taylor sat with Izzy on his lap and Phoebe sat at his side and they were all busily colouring. Christian smiled and I saw a smile appear on Taylor's lips, even though he looked as though he was concentrating, I knew he was still on alert.

I was feeling a little bit low, that evening as we lay in bed, and I think Christian sensed it and he pulled me to him.

"What's wrong baby?" he whispered in my ear as he placed small kisses on my neck.

"Just sad to go home, it's been a lovely trip, and seeing Jose again was the best, it's just been perfect!" I turn to face him and place my hand over his heart, and look up straight into his grey eyes which are fixed on me and filled with overwhelming love.

"Thank you" I say quietly.

"You have no need to thank me as you should know by now I would give you the world to make you happy" Christian replies his voice full of emotion.

He scowls suddenly as his phone rings, he reaches over behind him and glances at the screen and frowns" he presses a button and lifts the phone to his ear "Taylor?" he says with a hint of irritation in his voice.

The next minute he is leaping to his feet, and all colour has drained from his face he looks ashen. I go cold, what on earth has happened to provoke that kind of reaction?

"I'm sure she will be fine... yes certainly, of course, you must, I'll make some calls and see what I can do to get you there quickly" Christian says. 

He hangs up.

"What's happened?" I ask.

"Taylor's ex-wife and daughter have been involved in a car crash" he says not looking at me as he is rapidly texting.

My hand leaps to my throat and I gasp, we all love Taylor's 14-year-old daughter Sophie.

The next morning we are driving to the airport in silence, we are all worried about what has happened to Sophie. Sawyer is driving, Taylor has already left after Christian made some calls and called in a few favours and managed to arrange a private charter flight for him to get back to the States as quickly as possible. I glance at my watch; he should be well on his way home by now if not there already. Our flight seems to take forever because I am so anxious to get back. When we finally arrive home everyone is subdued, I find Gail preparing some food, and she looks worried.

"Is there any news Gail?" I ask as soon as I see her.

She shakes her head, "Jason phoned me when he landed, and he went straight to the hospital, and he has been there ever since, he hasn't called, I don't know if…" she trails off and I see the tears forming in her eyes.

I don't hesitate I reach for her and pull her into a fierce hug. "Don't think like that, no news is good news" I say.

Just at that moment, I hear a phone ring, Gail freezes and I immediately release her and watch as she rummages in her pocket.

"It's Jason" she says nervously and she quickly answers. I wait as she put the phone to her ear.

"Hello," she says.

Her hand lifts to her mouth as she listens and she glances at me and then says "yes they are and Mrs Grey is standing here now".

Christian comes striding into the room, he looks at me questioningly and I mouth the word Jason while pointing at Gail's phone he nods and then focuses his attention on Gail. She glances at him and then says into the phone "Mr Grey is here now as well, do you want to speak to him?"

More things are said and then Gail steps towards Christian holding the phone out with a trembling hand. Christian takes it from her with reassuring smile and a word of thanks. I watch his reaction carefully as he talks to Taylor.

"Hello... Jason, yes... listen take as long as you need...well then she comes here... of course she must she's your daughter there is no question about it… keep me updated, and if there is anything, anything at I can do or anything you need don't hesitate to ask... thank you... yes... goodbye Jason" he hands the phone back to Gail and disappears without a word.

I follow him into his study where I find him pacing around. I go to him and wrap my arms around his waist; he stills and folds his arms around me.

"Christian, what's happened, is Sophie badly hurt?" I ask yet I am almost afraid of what he is going to tell me.

He sighs, and squeezes me, "Sophie is hurt but not badly, physically she has a gash to the head, broken arm and cuts and bruises, but her mother... her mother has died" he stops.

"Oh poor Sophie," I say.

"Taylor is obviously staying with her at the hospital overnight, as she will probably be discharged in the morning and then he will be bringing her back here, but he also needs to contact his ex-wife's family and make arrangements for the funeral."

"Did Sophie's mother remarry?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head but says nothing. I can tell this has hit a raw nerve and derailed him, it's taken him back to a time and place which almost destroyed him, and left him broken for years. He clings to me. There is a knock at the door, we turn and see Gail standing in the doorway.

"Dinner is ready when you are," she says.

Christian walks towards her, "Thank you, listen take the night off and go to Jason, he needs you right now, in fact, take as long as you need, we will manage."

Gail absentmindedly fiddles with the wedding ring Taylor gave her and smiles weakly at Christian but she shakes her head.

"Thank you I'll go to the hospital tonight, but I will be here in the morning as I will need to prepare things for Sophie coming, so I will need to be here, plus it will be better to keep some sort of routine for when she arrives."

Christian nods "As long as you are sure, but if you need to go just go," he says putting his hand on her arm.

"Thank you, Mr Grey," she says and leaves the room.

Dinner that evening is a sober affair as we all sit and eat in silence, and then almost as soon as he has finished Christian gets up and disappears to his study. Ted looks worried, he slides off his chair and puts his arms around me and clambers on to my knee.

"Mommy why is daddy sad?" he asks.

I hug him tightly, "There has been an accident and Sophie was in it, and she has been hurt, Taylor is at the hospital with her now, but it's a very upsetting time because Sophie's mommy was also in the accident and she... she got really badly hurt... and it was really bad." 

Ted nods, "is Sophie ok?" he ask the concern evident on his face as he has always adored Sophie.

I nod and smile, "she will be coming to live here when she comes out of the hospital and we must be very thoughtful and give her some time and space."

"What about Sophie's mommy?" he says.

I take a deep breath "Sophie's mommy has gone to heaven" I say.

"Oh," he says and pauses, "Like Matthew?"

I nod unable to say anything else.

The next day it is around lunchtime when the front door opens and Taylor walks in, he looks terrible, and at his side, is Sophie and she looks lost and confused, she is clearly shocked and grieving for her mother, and she looks so vulnerable as she stands there clinging to his hand.

"Hello Sophie darling, how are you?" I ask gently.

She says nothing and just stares at me as if I am some kind of strange creature. Taylor leads her gently to the kitchen and gives her a drink. She hasn't said a word yet.

"Can I help with anything?" I ask.

Taylor shakes his head, "we are just waiting for all Sophie's stuff to arrive, I fetched her clothes last night and some of her personal item when she was sleeping, and Mr Grey arranged for a removal van to fetch the rest this morning".

I smile that is just like Christian, Just then Gail walks in and glances at Sophie "Jason, Sophie's furniture and belongings have arrived" she says.

Taylor looks at me and then at Sophie, "Do you want to come and help sort your stuff out?" he says gently, she doesn't say a word, or even acknowledge him but almost robotically climbs off the chair and follows him from the room.

**oooOOOooo**

_Six months later..._

Six months have passed and we are all worried about Sophie, it took her nearly two weeks to speak again, and it was Christian who finally managed to bring her around then. I recall that day and the events as they unfolded.

_Sophie is sitting quietly in our lounge gazing into space which had been the norm since she had arrived, when Christian came in, I watch him as he hesitates a moment and then he seems to make some sort of decision and goes over to the piano, of all places. I immediately wonder what on earth he is doing, but he just sits down and after looking at Sophie once more he starts to play. After a few moments Sophie seems to notice the music and looks up and realises where it is coming from, we see her stand and wander over to the piano and silently stand next to Christian just watching him play. Gail and I look at each other and stand staring as it is the first time Sophie has voluntarily reacted to anything since she had arrived here._

_Then as we watch she starts looking through the pile of sheet music on the top of the piano, and she hesitates and picks up one piece of sheet music looking closely at it. She seems to think about it for a moment before moving closer to Christian and holding out the music to him, she looks nervous and her hand is shaking slightly as she holds out the music and in a tiny voice we barely could hear she finally speaks._

_"Mr Grey, can you play this one please?" she asks politely._

_Tears start pouring down Gail's cheek and I squeeze her hand she returns the gesture and then she quietly slips from the room to fetch Taylor. I am rooted to the spot unable to take my eyes off the scene unfolding in front of me, I remember Carrick telling me once that it was the piano which brought Christian out of himself, and I wonder if he is doing this on purpose, to see if it has the same effect on her because he knows what she is going through and he is trying to help._

_Taylor runs into the room and stands beside me, I touch his arm. Sophie has moved to stand right next to Christian and she has her small hand on his shoulder as he starts playing a tune which I recognise immediately as 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' from the Wizard of Oz. We all watch as Christian shuffles over on his seat and Sophie sits down beside him. As he plays Sophie hums along to the tune.  
_

_Taylor looks at me "that was one of Jen's favourite songs, and one of her favourite films" he whispers, "my ex-wife" he clarifies seeing my blank look._

_None of us knows what to do, so we just stand and watch. Christian continues to play and Sophie hums along, when Christian finishes, Sophie looks up at him._

_"Thank you, Mr Grey, that was my mom's favourite song she sang it to me..." she stops and the dam breaks, she breaks down and sobs uncontrollably resting her head against Christian and he doesn't hesitate and folds his arms around her and rocks her. Taylor is by her side in a flash and he gently pulls her away from Christian and into his arms._

Since then, there have been tiny steps of progress, Christian has offered to pay for Sophie to see Flynn, but Taylor is reluctant about that. What concerns us all is the change in her character in the last six months, she was such a sweet girl but now seems to be so angry and rebellious, we hear her screaming at Gail at times. It is all totally unacceptable but yet understandable behaviour. We are all concerned for her, she is grieving and hurting but won't let anyone in.

I am pulled from my thoughts bringing me back to what I am supposed to be doing when my phone rings, "Ana Grey" I say.

"Hey Ana!" a familiar voice says to me.

"Jose! How are you?" I say, a smile immediately coming on my face.

"I'm good, I have been back in Seattle for nearly 3 months and I thought I'd better call and see if I can come round and see you all?"

"Jose, of course, you can, that would be wonderful," I say sincerely.

"I'll come round tonight if that's ok with you guys and we can chill?"

"That's great Jose, and Christian was just saying the other day that when you reappeared again he wants to ask you something."

"The mind boggles! Ok I'll see you both about 7ish does that sound good?" he says.

"That's great, see you later!" we hang up and I call Christian.

"Ana" he purrs down the phone, it always makes my heart beat a little faster when he does that.

"Christian, Jose called he is coming round tonight to see us about 7ish – are you going to ask him what we talked about?" I say.

"That's great, yes I will, why don't you call Kate and see if she wants to come over with the girls, I'm sure she would also love to see Jose again?" he suggests.

"I will do, ok I've got to go now, I love you," I say.

I hear his breath intake sharply "Ok baby, I love you too" he says.

I call Kate and she seems enthusiastic about coming over to see Jose again and agrees it would be great to catch up with him. She had been eager to hear all about what he had been doing when I told her about seeing him in London and she had said then that it would be great to see him again as she hadn't seen him for ages.

After talking to Kate I carry on working but looking forward to the evening ahead.

It is just after 7 pm, that evening there is a knock at the door, I run to open it and Jose is standing there, holding up an obviously drunk and dishevelled Sophie.

"I found this girl wandering around your driveway, she's completely out of her skull but she doesn't seem to be that old, I have no idea how she got here but do you want to call the police?" he says. 

I sigh and shake my head and after helping Jose get her inside I shout Taylor loudly; he is beside me in seconds taking in the sight before him. He shakes his head sadly and then lifts the swaying girl into his arms and after apologising profusely he takes her across the driveway to their apartment.

"Who was that?" Jose asks stepping over the threshold?"

"Taylor's daughter, Sophie, it's a long story," I say and throw my arms around Jose in welcome; Christian appears at my side and shakes Jose warmly by the hand.

We walk into the lounge and Jose freezes and gapes when he takes in Kate sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand. She sets the glass down and stands up.

"Well don't just stand there with your mouth hanging open, come here and give me a hug!" Kate says grinning as she holds her arms open.

"Katie, its good to see you", Jose hugs Kate and then he looks in surprise at the two young girls playing on the floor with Izzy and Phoebe, Alex is crawling around and it is all very domestic.

Kate turns to her daughters and says "Ava, Zoe come here and meet an old friend of mine, Jose these are my daughters, Ava and Zoe, girls this is Jose."

The girls look a little shy but say hello to Jose, but just then the door flies open and Ted charges into the room, "JOSE!" he squeals as hurtles toward Jose who grabs him and lifts him up into his arms.

"Hey Champ!" he says.

"High Five!" Ted squeals lifting his hand up, and Jose smacks it gently.

Christian gently removes Ted from Jose's arms "Come here you, let Jose get in and sit down" he says but as soon as Jose is sitting Ted clambers from Christians arms and leaps on Jose again.

Christian offers a bottle of beer to Jose which he accepts with a grin, he takes a gulp and holds up the bottle "Cheers Christian" he says.

We all sit and chat, and catch up and the atmosphere is relaxed and happy.

"Right then," Christian says after a few moments, "Jose I have a favour to ask of you?"

Jose leans forward, "shoot," he says looking intrigued.

"Would you take some family photos of us all? I love the ones I have that you look of Ana, all those years ago and I would like something similar of my children and then maybe a group photo or two of all of them together and perhaps one with us as well, you know the sort of thing" he pauses.

"No problem, I can do that" Jose replies.

"I will pay you for your services" Christian adds.

Jose shakes his head, "No you won't, this is on me, after all you've done for me it will be my honour to do it for you," Jose says.

Christian scowls at the fact Jose is refusing payment but doesn't say anything. Kate looks at Jose and says "would you take some for me of Ava and Zoe please?" she asks.

"Sure, but I'll charge you though," he replies with a grin and a twinkle in his eye, "Seriously though, of course I will and it's great to see you all again." 

The evening goes well there is lots of laughter and talking, and I have not seen Kate so animated in months.

"So," Jose says suddenly "What's the story with that girl?"

Christian shakes his head sadly, "That is Sophie, Taylor's daughter, she was involved in a car accident about six months ago in which her mother was killed, she has been living here with her father ever since, and she's not coping very well" he explains.

"Poor kid, I remember when we were involved in that accident with that drunk a few years ago..." Jose says he stops as he glances at me, I shiver as I remember that time all too well, I thought I was going to lose Ray then, as my stepfather had been seriously injured in the crash, Jose's father had also been hurt but Jose had escaped unscathed.

"I was destroyed that my father had been hurt, but to lose your mom at that age, when I lost my mom it was hard enough but I was a bit older than she is" Jose says grimly.

I lean over and rub Jose's arm and sigh, "we are all trying to do what we can but she won't let anyone in".

At that moment, Taylor appears at the door looking uncomfortable and coughs, as one we all turn.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he says.

"Don't be sorry" I say immediately, "How is she?" I ask.

Taylor looks at me helplessly, "She is settled now and is asleep – or passed out, she is going to have a spectacular hang over in the morning as she has emptied my entire supply of beer, I don't drink much but I enjoy an occasional beer now and again to unwind and on my day off but she has drunk the lot" he says sadly.

"She's hurting" Christian says knowingly and with that he stands and leads Taylor into his study.

Jose watches them, he frowns and thinks for a moment and then stands and follows, Kate and I look in surprise.

"Won't be a minute," Jose says to us.

I am intrigued I look at Kate and there are unspoken words between us, we both stand and follow Jose.

As we reach Christians office Jose is shaking Taylor's hand and Taylor looks hopeful.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Christian turns and smiles, "Jose is going to try and help Sophie."

"Jose? How" I ask confused.

Jose smiles at me, "Photography was my saviour when my mom died, I walked miles taking photos of the landscape and surrounding area, it gave me something to focus on and I found that I was quite good at it, and... well the rest is history, so I was offering to see if I could help by finding out if it has the same effect on Sophie, as it seems she is looking for some sort of distraction her behaviour tonight was obviously that she is hurting and looking for something to take away the pain she is feeling so I thought if we can try focus her mind on something positive and constructive instead of destructive".

Taylor looks at Jose, "Thank you" he says and I can tell even though he is putting on a brave impassive face, he is worried sick, there are new lines around his eyes and mouth and he looks thinner, something I hadn't noticed before.

Three days later Jose arrives to do the portraits for us, Kate arrives with the girls and we all sit waiting patiently for Christian to appear. We go outside into the sunshine, and head to the meadow as it is a lovely setting for photographs. Sophie is wandering around; I glance up at her and smile.

"Hi Sophie, do you want to come along? I say. I see Taylor hovering in the distance watching hopefully.

"I don't want to intrude" she replies.

Jose takes charge and smiles at Sophie, "When I've finished doing Ana and Kate this favour, perhaps you could do me one? I need a teenage girl for an advertising campaign the company I work for is doing and you are perfect, so could I take some photos of you?"

This is all complete rubbish and just a ruse to see if we can actually get Sophie to come with us and I hold my breath hoping she doesn't see through Jose's lie.

Sophie smiles and it's the first real smile we have seen for months, "Sure" she says then her face drops as she spots Taylor moving towards us, "but I don't think my dad will let me" she adds.

"My dad won't let me do what?" Taylor says as he puts his arm around her shoulder.

I am holding my breath and unconsciously cross my fingers.

"Let me have my photo taken" she replies now sulky, the smile has disappeared and she hangs her head.

Taylor glances at Jose and smiles, "why would I not let you have your photo taken? I'd love an up to date photo of you!"

"It's not for you dad" Sophie snaps back at him, "Mr Rodriguez needs it for an advertising campaign he is doing."

Jose steps towards Taylor, "You would get a copy of anything I took as your daughter is a minor and your permission is needed" he says kindly.

I am hoping this contrived situation is going to work, and Sophie doesn't catch on that it's all been set up. I watch as Sophie gazes up at Taylor as he puts on a show of thinking it over.

"Please dad!" she says, and for the first time since she arrived here there is a sparkle of interest in her eyes, something which Taylor doesn't miss.

"Why not!" Taylor says with a grin and hugs his daughter tightly.

Christian arrives and shakes Jose's hand, "Sorry to keep you waiting," he says.

"Not a problem" Jose replies in his usual laidback manner, "shall we make a start?" he adds.

Jose snaps away, and Sophie is watching him and asking questions which Jose patiently answers and then after a while Kate speaks up.

"I think we should be heading back soon, have you got what you need from us Jose?" 

"Yep, I think so" he replies with a grin.

Kate thanks Jose and he promises to have the photos he took of her, Ava and Zoe to her as soon as he can then she gives me a hug and we watch her disappear. Taylor is hovering watching as Sophie continues to take an interest in what is going on but he stands to the side almost as if he is afraid his presence will put a stop to her positive behaviour. Jose glances at him and I see him thinking, and then he smiles as he has obviously had an idea.

"Erm Jason would you mind me taking some shots of you as well?" he says to Taylor, whose mouth drops open in shock.

"I... erm..." Taylor splutters.

"Go on dad!" Sophie urges and I see Taylor capitulate immediately, eager to participate in anything that makes Sophie happy.

"Ok" he replies looking very embarrassed.

Jose looks towards Sophie, "would you mind giving me a hand please, I need someone to hold this?" Sophie walks towards him intrigued.

"What does that do?" she asks looking at the huge white disc in her hand.

"It concentrates the available light on to the subject – in this case your dad, and makes the picture brighter" Jose replies.

She nods, Jose looks at her "in fact if you want to, you can help me when I take the rest of the photos" he pauses as Sophie shakes her head and takes a step back.

"You don't have to but it would be a big help if you could but only if you want to?" he adds quickly.

Sophie thinks about it and smiles and looking once more at the disk in her hand she nods enthusiastically, then she glances at Taylor, "Can I dad?" she asks.

"Sure, as long as you do what Mr Rodriguez says" he replies.

Sophie nods again.

"Please, Mr Rodriguez is my dad, call me Jose!" he laughs.

The afternoon flies past, Sophie is taking a real interest in photography and asking intelligent questions, and Jose is answering and giving tips and advice where he can.

Suddenly she looks up at Jose, "Mr Rod... Jose?" she asks.

"Yes," he replies smiling at her.

"How much do you charge for doing this?" she asks.

Jose shrugs, "It depends, you see today I'm not charging anything, as it's a favour for a friend" he says as he gestures towards Christian, "and the photo's I took of you and your dad, well you were doing me a favour so the copies you will get are freebies as well. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I just wanted to know how much do you charge, because I'd really like to hire you to take a photo... of me and my dad, together," she says softly.

I see Taylor take in a sharp breath at that and Jose smiles, "Well, I tell you what, considering you have done me a favour by letting me take photos of you and you have been a brilliant assistant, I owe you one so I will take as many as you like of you and your dad together when I have finished ok?"

Sophie beams at him and flings her arms around him, Jose looks surprised but hugs her back and laughs.

Later when Jose has finished and is packing up, Sophie is still asking questions and Jose is answering and giving her advice. He reaches into his bag and pulls out a small compact point and shoot camera, and hands it to her.

"This is what I started with, if you really are serious about learning photography, learn your craft with one of these, as it's essentially all about having a good eye, you can learn the ins and outs of lighting and aperture settings afterwards but what you need first of all is a good eye to know what it takes to compose a decent picture, so you can borrow this to take some photos of different things and I will take a look at them and I'll give you some critical feedback and pointers on things to improve, ok?"

Sophie nods enthusiastically and takes the camera from him, "Thank you, Jose," she says and much to his surprise she steps towards him and hugs him.

As Jose is leaving Taylor walks up to him and catches his arm, he extends his hand out him, "Thank you" he says gruffly but also very gratefully.

"No problem" Jose replies with a smile, "Glad I could help."


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

It's New Year's Eve, and I am sitting watching the family enjoy themselves. This year has been eventful for many reasons both good and not so good. I look at Kate who is talking to Ethan and Mia, and Grace is chatting with my mother who has flown in from Georgia with Bob.

Ray, Carrick, Bob and Christian are in deep conversation about something and Jose is being monopolised by the children who are leaping all over him and he is loving every moment of it. There is one person missing though and I sigh, Elliot has put himself into exile and has nothing to do with any of the family anymore.

It has devastated Grace who has tried repeatedly to contact him. Grace told me that he and Susannah were not in contact either but he was still providing financially for the baby. The baby had now been born and it was a little boy and she had called him Noah. Grace had been to see him and was offering Susannah support where she could, Carrick and Grace were both eager to play a role in the child's life as he was their grandson. Grace said he was the spitting image of Elliot. She had also said that apparently, Elliot had only visited him once shortly he had turned up unannounced after his son was born; he had held him briefly and then left.

Susannah is a good woman, she could have caused a stink after what Elliot had done, but instead, she has chosen to be dignified and mature, concentrating on her son rather than revenge on the man who has abandoned her and treated her so shabbily. She has also kept her promise about not telling anyone about her past with Christian. This dignified – some would say ridiculously saintly behaviour has earned her Kate's respect and Kate is also helping her and they are slowly becoming friends, bonding over the fact they were both screwed over by Elliot, and also the fact their children are siblings.

Kate comes over and pulls me from my thoughts, "Penny for them" she whispers to me.

I jump, "I was just thinking about Susannah," I say.

Kate nods, "I am meeting up with her and we are going out for lunch tomorrow, she has spent Christmas and New Year with her folks."

I nod in understanding but don't say any more.

"How's Sophie?" Kate asks suddenly.

I smile as I think about the transformation of Taylor's daughter, she is still going through the grieving process but she isn't as out of control or lashing out destructively now.

"She's doing much better," I say. "She is thinking about going to college to do photography when she graduates high school, I think that Jose has inspired her."

Kate looks pleased to hear that, "I'm glad, she seemed a good kid, but losing your mother - especially at that age," she says and shakes her head.

Just as we are all engrossed in different conversations, Isobel's voice rings out across the room.

"LOOK" she shouts.

Everyone turns to where she is pointing and we see Alex determinedly pulling himself up, he is gripping the chair, and the look on his face reminds me so much of Christian when he is single-mindedly doing something.

He keeps losing his grip but stubbornly tries again, then he does it, he stands and a huge grin spreads across his face, he wobbles and plops back down on his backside, his face crumples but before he starts to cry Christian reaches him and bending down he quickly scoops him up.

I wander over to my husband, "well he has is fathers determination" I say to Christian as I stroke Alex's head.

"More likely it's his mother's stubbornness" Christian replies and kisses me on the cheek.

The clock chimes and Christian glances at his watch, "Happy New Year" he says, as he lowers Alex to the floor and takes me in his arms before I can answer he kisses me soundly. I grab Christian's hair and I deepen the kiss but he pulls away from me a little breathless.

"Careful Mrs Grey" murmurs in my ear so only I can hear, a cheer goes around the room and I look to see everyone kissing and hugging.

"Let's hope this year is better than last," I say soberly, "because quite frankly I am glad to see the back of it".

Christian nods at me in agreement. "What are your wishes for the New Year?" he asks me whilst staring into my eyes.

I giggle "well after last year, I'd like a nice quiet boring year where nothing whatsoever happens".

Christian laughs but then his attention is taken by a knock at the door, he releases me and strides over to open it to reveal Taylor, Gail and Sophie standing there.

"Happy New Year Sir," Taylor says with a grin.

"We were hoping to be your first footers!" Gail adds.

Christian gestures them in and offers them a glass of champagne. Sophie is quiet but it is hardly surprising considering it is the first Christmas and New Year without her mother, and it was bound to be hard but she is steadily making progress.

She spots Jose and makes a beeline for him and wishes him a happy new year and they stand talking photography. I glance over and spot the children all curled up fast asleep together on the carpet. Kate and I approach them quietly and start to untangle them; Grace comes over and helps Kate manoeuvre Ava and Zoe upstairs to the guest rooms. Christian lifts Ted into his arms and disappears with him, moments later he is back and repeats the procedure with Phoebe, between us we put our children to bed before we return downstairs to our family.

Christian pulls me into his arms "Happy New Year Mrs Grey, and here's to a better year, and a nice quiet boring one eh?!"

I smile, "Well I can think of something which will start it off the right way, but we will have to wait until our guests have gone to bed!"

Christian's eyes gleam in response, "is that a promise?" he murmurs seductively.

"Oh yes!" I reply.

It's nearly 2am before we eventually get to bed, Christian climbs in beside me and immediately pulls me towards him.

"Now then, your promise from earlier" he says, and he slowly he moves on top of me as I giggle and part my legs to help him settle between them; but just as he does this, his phone starts to ring. He sighs and then curses loudly and goes to send the call to voicemail, as he picks up his phone he looks at the screen and I feel him freeze and his face blanches, he looks like he has seen a ghost.

"Christian, what's wrong?" I ask as I am concerned with the look on his face.

He looks at me warily and he hesitates before he replies.

"It's Elena's number" he says quietly.

"What! What the hell does she want after all this time?" I splutter angrily.

She was the last person I expected to ever call, we hadn't heard from her for years, in fact not since she and Christian had talked the night I told him I was pregnant with Ted. What the hell is she doing calling now and more importantly did she want after all these years?

Christian looks at the screen, clearly torn whether or not to answer the call, I make the decision for him and snatch the phone from his hand.

"Hello," I say sharply.

"Oh, hello Ana... that is Ana isn't it?" I hear that voice and I go cold.

"Yes, what do you want Elena?" I say sharply.

"I'm sorry to disturb you so late but I need to talk to Christian, I swear to you that I don't want to cause any trouble and I wouldn't have called at all, but I thought it was urgent you see I am in a bar in town and Elliot is here and quite frankly he looks unwell, and I was just concerned, someone needs to come and fetch him, as I barely recognised him" She pauses, "I'm being honest and I'm not playing games, Elliot needs help" she adds.

"Just a moment," I say in a slightly softer tone and hand the phone to Christian.

"Elena," he says coldly, he listens to her, "is he, where?... I see alright I'm on my way... thank you" he sighs and climbs out of bed. He looks at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry baby" he says.

I shake my head, "No it's fine, you have to go" I say reassuringly.

About 10 minutes later he is disappearing out of the door with Carrick and Sawyer is driving them away. Grace puts her arm around me and leads me to the lounge and she looks worried as I look at her.

"Why did it have to be her to ring?" I say more to myself than to anyone else, I still have an irrational hatred of her even after all these years. I look up and Kate is in the doorway.

"What's the matter? What's happened?" she asks.

I quickly outline the call and Kate sits down beside us, I go and make some warm drinks the night is cold and there are snow flurries coming down outside.

After what seems like hours but in reality is probably a very short period of time we hear a car arriving outside and the light of headlights reflect through the window, I leap to my feet and run to the door. Christian and Carrick are struggling, half carrying, half dragging a clearly wasted Elliot into the house; as they throw him on the sofa, I get a good look at him and I can't help the gasp that leaves my mouth as I hardly recognise him. He is dirty with at least a week's growth of hair on his face, and he is painfully thin and gaunt.

Christian looks down at his brother with utter contempt, while Kate stands staring at him as if she can't believe what she is seeing and she shakes her head sadly.

"He's obviously drinking again then," she says eventually.

I look at her in surprise, "What are you saying?" I also notice Grace is giving Kate her full attention and is also listening carefully to what she says.

Kate sits on the sofa, "Life with Elliot was hell at times, not at first, it was brilliant at first but after Ava was born he started to drink a little more but nothing ridiculous, but after Zoe was born it all started to go wrong. He started binge drinking and go out on benders and he'd disappear for days at a time, then come home and pretend nothing had happened, also every time we had a fight he'd use it as an excuse to leave and get wasted. I had my suspicions he was screwing around when he was missing. It got worse and worse until I threatened to leave him, at that point he seemed to come to his senses and things improved for a while, I thought we were back on track but then I started having a suspicion that he was having an affair, he denied it and we had this enormous fight and he just went off for a week but then he came back as if nothing had happened. I knew something was going on though but after his reaction the first time I confronted him I wasn't too keen to endure a repeat performance but after a month or so I had my suspicions he was lying and enough circumstantial evidence to back it up which was when I told you and it turned out to be true as you all found out and the rest you know."

We all gape at Kate, none of us had any idea how bad things had been for her. I pull her into my arms and hold her tightly, Grace comes over and takes Kate's hand.

"Oh, you poor darling girl," she says.

I look at Grace and feel so sorry for her to have to have heard all that about her eldest son.

"I'm going to bed," Kate says as she pulls away from us. Grace and I nod and smile and watch as Kate disappears from the room.

Grace takes Elliot's pulse and then gently manoeuvres him into the recovery position, Christian places a bucket at the side of his brother along with a glass of water and a couple of painkillers.

Carrick looks at Grace kindly, "Go to bed Grace I will sit with him" he says in a tone which made me not want to be Elliot when he wakes up.

Christian holds his hand out to me, I stand and walk towards him, "Goodnight Grace, Carrick" I say.

They both look towards me; Grace embraces me again "Good night Ana dear" she says.

"Good night Ana" Carrick smiles at me, Christian places his hand on his father's shoulder.

"Goodnight son!" Carrick says to Christian squeezing his hand.

I walk upstairs with Christian, "So much for a boring year eh, I hope it hasn't started how it means to go on!" I whisper to Christian as we climb into bed, Christian smiles.

"Let me make you feel better Mrs Grey" he whispers seductively as he climbs in beside me.

"Yes," I say, "Now, where were we before we were rudely interrupted?!"

_I wake to light streaming in from my window, it seems awfully bright, and I open the curtains and smile when I take in the thick blanket of snow covering the ground._

_I feel well rested and frown suddenly, wondering what the time is; I glance at the clock 10:15! Why has nobody woken me? I remember the events of the night before, my guess is they are sorting out Elliot, a thought crosses my mind, Alex should have woken me by now he is better than any alarm clock waking at 6:45 every morning. I head to the top of the stairs I hear talking from down below and shake my head._

_I wander into Alex's room, "hey baby boy wakey, wakey" I say softly and then stop something is wrong, I walk over to the crib, and look down, my beautiful little boy is blue and not breathing, panic grips me, I grab him in my arms._

_"CHRISTIAN, GRACE, SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I scream at the top of my voice tears streaming down my face._

_The door flies open, "Ana dear, what's wrong" it's Grace._

_"Oh thank god," I say as I see her "It Alex, I am clinging on to my baby._

_Grace looks from me to the still child in my arms and I see the rising horror on her face, "Ana dear let me take him" she says gently, as she takes him from me Christian bursts in, he looks from me to his mother and to the small lifeless body in her arms._

_"No!" he whispers, his hands grabbing at his hair, "no, no, no!" he says again._

_I look at Christian but I can't move. I can't do anything I watch as Grace examines Alex and turns to me with tears in her eyes. _

_She shakes her head, "I'm so sorry," she says._

_I stare at her, hearing the words but not comprehending what they mean, Christian is beside himself he comes to me to hold me but I put my hand up, "Don't touch me" I order, and he stops dead._

_"Ana?" he says the hurt and confusion on his face is evident._

_I feel like I am suffocating I need to get away; I need to run, so I do just that. I push past Christian with a strength which surprises me and him and I run downstairs I see Elliot and Carrick still glaring at each other, they turn in surprise and stare at me, I am wearing nothing but one of Christians t-shirts and my feet are bare, anger rises in me as I set eyes on Elliot. I lunge at him, screaming and ranting._

_"This is all your fault you bastard, if you hadn't been out of your skull last night and we had all been up dragging your worthless ass back here, we would have been up before now, you don't fucking deserve children, I punch wildly at him the strength and adrenaline coursing through me"._

_"Shit Ana" Elliot mutters as he tries to fend me off._

_"Don't you dare speak to me you pathetic excuse of a human being, you have 3 beautiful children and you don't give a shit about any of them, you're a selfish bastard"._

_My fist connects with his face and he staggers backwards, I push him and he falls on to the floor, I rush past him and wrench open the front door and run out into the snow, the cold hit me like a stone and my legs give way beneath me and I fall into the snow weeping._

_I feel strong arms around me, "Christ Ana, come here, you will freeze to death." It's Christian of course and I allow myself to be gently lifted into his arms, and I cling to him, the fight and anger have gone now I just feel empty, nothing, except a huge tearing pain in my heart, my son is dead._

_Christian carries me inside, I am vaguely aware of the sea of faces around me, but I say nothing, I do nothing I just want to curl up and hide somewhere. Christian carries me upstairs and into the shower to warm me, he strips and follows me in, I have sunk to the floor and am weeping as Christian crouches beside me, and he gently pulls me to my feet and holds me tightly._

_I look up at him and see the desolation in his eyes, he is hurting too, but he is putting his hurt and pain aside. He is concentrating on me, just like he always does. I cling to him and he gently washes my hair and body._

_Christian dries me and I turn from him to dress, I pull on a pair of old sweatpants and a t-shirt I pull my hair into a ponytail Christian takes my hand and tries to lead me from the room. _

_I stop, "no" I say._

_"Baby you have to be brave and strong," he says his voice cracking with emotion._

_I allow myself to be led from the room, downstairs I see Grace with her coat on she is holding my son. I run towards her screaming at her._

_"Give me my son" I shout, Grace holds him out to me and I take him clinging on to him, my boy, my precious little boy. _

_"Ana dear we need to take him to the hospital, there are procedures which have to be followed," she says gently. I understand this so I nod and follow her, Christian steps forward to come as well and I turn to face him._

_"No," I say, and for the second time that morning he stops dead and looks like I have just slapped him._

_"But Ana" he starts._

_"I said no," I say more forcefully._

_Christian runs his hands through his hair, looks from me to his mother, Carrick puts his hand on Christians arm, and mutters something in his ear, he visibly sags and sighs deeply. _

_"OK but I'm not happy," he says in a sulky voice._

_"I don't care" I reply nastily and turn to leave._

_I watch with dispassionate interest at the hospital, Grace has taken charge and knows exactly what to do, I am still sitting clinging on to my son, glaring at anyone who comes within 3 feet of me. I think back to the night before and remember him determined to pull himself up, tears appear again at the memory. I feel as though something has snapped inside me, nobody should have to go through this, along with everything else that has happened recently I just can't take any more. I stand and I go to walk away, Grace spots me and brings me back._

_"Ana dear," she says a worried look on her face._

_I don't answer her I just continue to stare at my son._

_She walks away and talks to a young doctor, who makes a call._

_I am not aware of anything that is going on around me, I just sit._

_"Annie" that voice brings me back to the now, I look up and see Ray, and standing beside him is Christian._

_"Daddy?" I say._

_"Annie sweetheart," he says and crouches beside me. "Let the doctors take Alex, darling they have to do it."_

_"No," I say and I cling to him tightly, "He's my baby I have to protect him" I look pleadingly at the calm man who has always been my father, my rock._

_"Sure you do Annie, but you can stop now its over, let the doctors do their job, come on there's a good girl."_

_My father coaxes me to hand over my baby, as he leaves my arms I feel a new pain of anguish and the noise that leaves my mouth is almost feral._

_"Good girl, come on Annie sweetheart," he says._

_Christian is hovering he wants to hold me but he is unsure of my reaction, I cling to my father and sob, we have never held each other like this before, but he soothes me and gently pulls me to my feet._

_"Annie sweetheart, I think Christian needs a hug," he says gently. I look at my husband and slowly walk into his arms. He clings to me and I feel his tears on my neck, I slowly close my eyes._

_When I open my eyes I am back at home, I feel empty; I am just sitting on the sofa staring into the fire. Everyone is silent, Kate and the girls have gone, Mia and Ethan have also left, my mother is gently weeping in the corner, being consoled by Bob, and Ray is standing with Carrick and Christian, and they all look grim-faced._

_I wonder suddenly where Elliot is; I look towards Christian, who is immediately by my side._

_"Ana?" he says grasping my hand._

_"Where's Elliot?" I ask._

_Christian looks surprised "He left while we were at the hospital," he says._

_"Oh," I say._

_Grace appears and walks towards me with a determined look on her face and places a bowl of soup in front of me, "Come on Ana, you must eat" she says._

_"I'm not hungry," I say._

_"Ana, you have three other children to consider, you have to stay strong for them."_

_Anger rises in me suddenly again, "Maybe I don't want to be strong for them, maybe I am sick of being strong for everyone, I spend my life being strong for everyone else, and I'm sick of it" I storm out of the room._

_I run upstairs and throw myself on the bed I hear Christian following me shouting me._

"_Ana, Ana" he calls, "Ana, Ana..." _

"Ana, Ana, wake up, please wake up" I am pulled into the present by Christian who is shaking me desperately.

I open my eyes, my face is soaking wet and my hair is lying limply and I feel like I have run a marathon. I look up at Christian, trying to focus my mind and work out what is happening.

"Oh thank god," he says with relief, and he pulls me into his arms.

"What the fuck were you dreaming about Ana? You wouldn't wake up and you were in so much pain".

I start to put things together in my mind and as I do so I struggle out of his hold and leap out of bed, I glance at the clock 6:30 am, I don't say anything but I run into Alex's room, staring at the tiny bundle in his crib, he is sleeping and he twitches and grizzles, the relief that flows through me is overwhelming and I scoop him up in my arms, trembling from head to foot and sobbing uncontrollably.

I feel Christians arms around me, "Oh Christian it's ok, he's here look he's here" I babble.

Christian leads me back to our room I am still clinging to my son as if my life depends on it. Sobbing softly, Christian tries to take him from, "No!" I say pulling Alex closer.

"Ok, it's ok," Christian says holding up his hands, he is talking to me like I am a cornered wounded wild animal and he is looking at me as if he isn't sure what I am going to do next.

I ease myself into bed and sit staring at my son. Christian climbs in beside me, looking at me as if I have gone mad, and to be fair I feel as though I have lost my mind.

As it all becomes obvious what has happened I look up at my husband, "Bad dream," I say softly, and Christian just responds to that by pulling me closer.

"About Alexander?" he asks carefully.

I nod and the tears start to fall again. The dream was so vivid, so real I am still feeling the effects of it now.

"Talk to me Ana," he says softly, brushing my soaking hair from my face.

"I dreamt he died, it was horrible, so real but so horrible" I sob.

"Oh baby come here, he's fine, look at him."

I stroke my sons head and his eyes open and he yawns and starts gurgling, Christian wants to take him from me but I am still reluctant to let him go.

Eventually, I pull myself together and pass him carefully over to Christian.

Alex is fully awake now and pulling on Christians T-shirt trying to pull himself upright again, Christian gently puts his hand on Alex's behind and helps his progress, marvelling at his son's strength.

"Will you just look at that," he says with pride in his voice.

I am quiet, the dream is still going round my head, and I still can't quite believe I am now awake and everything is alright. I walk to the window and look outside its cold but there is no thick snow like there was in my dream, everywhere is wet and there are just odd flurries coming down just like how it was in the night.

I rest my forehead on the window and then I turn to look at Christian before I leave the room, grabbing my robe as I walk out the door. I pull on my robe and make my way downstairs, Carrick is fast asleep in the chair and Elliot is still comatose sprawled across the sofa.

My mind wanders back to my dream, and it all becomes so obvious now that it wasn't real as I remember how I had so easily shoved Christian aside, and then decked Elliot, I start to giggle and I leave the room not wanting to wake the two sleeping men, and return upstairs. I look in on Ted, Phoebe and Izzy, they hadn't featured in my dream and I briefly wonder why. I watch them all sleeping peacefully and return to the bedroom, I am now satisfied I am awake and this is the reality.

Christian is still playing with Alex and I crawl into bed beside him, I rest my head on his shoulder and start to talk, I describe the dream I had and how real it was and the pain I felt and how it has left me wondering whether or not I was in reality now. Christian listens and doesn't say a word until I have finished.

He gently puts Alex down and embraces me, "It was just a dream sweetheart it's not real."

My mind is travelling back in time to the last nightmare I used to have, the one of Christian turning and walking away from me. I shiver, that came true once, the night I told him I was pregnant, he overreacted and he walked out. I try to concentrate on the positive that he came back and we are stronger than ever and have been for years but I can't take my eyes off Alex; as if I stop looking at him my dream will come true.

I look at the clock beside the bed, it's now 7 am and as I do so the bedroom door opens and Isobel walks in rubbing her eyes, she clambers on to the bed and shuffles between me and Christian.

"What do you think you are doing young lady?" Christian says looking down at her and smiling indulgently. Isobel giggles and stares at Alex who is now trying to climb on her. I pull him towards me and disappear to change, wash and dress him.

**oooOOOooo**

A short while later we are all sitting around the breakfast table, Gail is serving up toast, omelettes and pancakes and I look around me, Grace is drinking coffee and making conversation with my mother, Bob and Ray are talking football, Christian is chatting with Jose and Ethan about fishing, The only people missing are Kate and the girls who are still asleep and nobody has wanted to wake them, Carrick comes in looking stiff and pretty rough, he smiles at Gail when she hands him some coffee.

I stand and leave the room, Christian watches me go. I walk into the lounge and I sit just staring at Elliot who is snoring loudly. I remember what I said to him in my dream and I am planning to say something similar when he rejoins planet earth. I sit quietly drinking my tea; Elliot stirs and glances around him at first he looks confused, unsure of where he is and what is happening. He really does look terrible and Elena wasn't exaggerating when she called. He spots me and realisation dawns on him where he is.

"Ana? How did I get here?" He croaks.

"Your brother and father collected you from a club last night after a concerned citizen phoned us to tell us where you were, they thought you were ill, but you were just stone drunk" I spit coldly at him.

He sits up and rubs his eyes, and then he yawns "Well nobody asked them to," he retorts rudely.

Anger floods through me and I slowly stand up, walk over and with all my strength deliberately slap him around the face, and then I let rip, I start berating him and I basically say the things I said to him in my dream, how he has three beautiful children and doesn't deserve any of them. Carrick and Christian hear the commotion I am making and they come running in and watch as I am in Elliot's face gesticulating wildly and calling him an utter disgrace as he cowers on the sofa.

Christian comes over and puts his hand on my arm, "That's enough baby" he says softly I swing around but pause as I see the amusement in his eyes, he's not angry with me he is proud of me and enjoying watching me tear Elliot a new one.

"I've not finished yet," I say and return my attention back to Elliot again.

"You are pathetic – do you realise your father sat with you all night in case you choked on your own vomit or something, it's about time you grew up and faced up to your responsibilities and stop acting like an adolescent. You have three beautiful children who need a father not a fucking filthy drunken tramp."

I stop ranting and breathe out slowly, "Now I'm done" I say looking at Christian once more and then I turn and walk away. Carrick reaches out and grasps my hand as I walk past him and he smiles at me, I walk into Kate in the hallway.

"Wow! Go Ana, I couldn't have put that better myself," she says smiling at me.

"You heard?"

She snorts "I think the whole of Seattle heard," she says.

"I hit him," I say, registering the stinging sensation in my hand for the first time.

Kate bursts out laughing, "did you really? I wish I'd seen that!" she links arms with me and we head back into the kitchen.

Grace looks at me as I walk in and I blush "Sorry" I mutter.

"Don't be," she says holding up her and shaking her head, "it's about time he heard a few home truths. We have tried reasoning with him and hoping he would make the right decisions but he hasn't, with hindsight we have been too soft with him, this could be just the thing he needs".

My mom is just sitting open-mouthed and speechless and my father is desperately trying to hide his amusement behind a mug of coffee, and I see the glow of pride in his eyes.

I look around the table "Happy New Year, everyone!" I say calmly.

As I say it Jose appears looking half asleep, "What's with the shouting?" he slurs as he staggers into the room and sits himself down, I grin at him.

"Sorry did I wake you?" I say

Gail places a mug of coffee in front of him. "Don't worry about it," he says.

I wonder what's going on in the lounge, as I am thinking this Christian and Carrick walk in followed by Elliot who looks uncomfortable. He looks at Kate who stiffens and turns her head away.

As he takes a seat at the table I watch as she rises from her seat, "Excuse me" she says and disappears Elliot sadly watches her go, and then sighs.

"Well, what did you expect?" I snarl at him.

I glare at him daring him to retort back at me but he visibly shrinks into the chair and says nothing.

"Ana" The warning in Christians tone quietens me.

The atmosphere around the table can be cut with a knife, when Elliot suddenly speaks.

"I'm sorry, mom, dad, Christian, Ana," he says quietly.

My mom, Bob and Ray are watching silently as the door opens and Ava and Zoe come in, they stop dead when they see Elliot. They look at him in horror and then run from the room.

He watches them go the hurt in his eyes is painful to see.

"I frightened my own children," he says sadly.

"Well you do look a bit of a mess Elliot," Grace says.

My parents and Bob excuse themselves; I am watching Ethan whose self-control is amazing he is sitting concentrating on his toast and studiously ignoring Elliot. Mia is stroking his arm and whispering to him.

Ted runs in and stops dead as he stares at Elliot, Phoebe and Izzy follow, Izzy runs to Christian and he lifts her on to his lap and she is staring unashamedly at Elliot.

"Unckie Lelliot," she says after a few moments.

Elliot's head rises at those words and he turns his attention to Isobel after he takes a brief shot look up at Christian, I see the tears well in his eyes, and he swallows.

"Yes Izzy," he says his voice trembling.

"You smell funny," she says bluntly.

I can't help it and I snort loudly but I try and hide it by coughing loudly, Christian covers his mouth with his hand and Carrick stands and leaves the room. Elliot looks shocked and then a chuckle bubbles up and escapes him and just like that, the atmosphere lightens.

**oooOOOooo**

Elliot has showered and is wearing a pair of Christian's old jeans and one of his t-shirts. He looks a lot better but a shower and shave doesn't hide the fact he is still painfully thin and gaunt. Izzy walks up to him and stares at him, he reaches for her and lifts her on to his lap.

"Do I smell better now?" he asks.

She nods and smiles at him.

Kate has left with the children as she was always going to go this morning as she is meeting Susannah and when Elliot asks where they are, I take a perverse pleasure in telling him.

"She is meeting Susannah for lunch so the girls can spend some time with their brother" I spit at him.

I see my words have the desired effect and he swallows hard, "I deserved that," he says sadly.

"It's the truth" I reply with a shrug.

"I've been a fool," he says looking at me his eyes pleading.

I snort "That's the understatement of the century."

"I want my wife back," he says looking at me.

"Well good luck with that one," I say facetiously.

I pause and in a softer tone I say "Listen Elliot, instead of disappearing on benders be around for your kids, they don't understand what's going on and they don't deserve to be treated the way you are treating them. You have two daughters who are missing their daddy and a baby son who doesn't even know you, you need to get yourself sorted out and try and win them back – forget Kate for the time being and Susannah for that matter, just concentrate on being a good dad, what would you do if anything happened to them, and you hadn't been around?" My mind goes back to my dream, and I shiver.

He nods and smiles at me. "You know, Christian is so lucky to have you, thank you Ana, and for the home truths you told me."

He stands up a look of determination in his eyes, "I'm going to make a start on that right now".

I watch him leave, Christian walks in and smiles at me.

"I am a lucky man," he says grabbing my wrist and pulling me to him.

"You were listening?" I say looking at me the door opens and everyone walks in.

"Erm, we all were," Grace says apologetically.

Christian kisses my cheek "You are one hell of a woman Ana."

Gail walks in holding Alex who holds his arms out to me as soon as he lays eyes on me and Ted, Izzy and Phoebe follow behind her. Christian lifts Izzy up and Ted goes to sit with Carrick and Phoebe sits between my mother and Grace.

"Here's to a better year for us all," Christian says looking around the room.

"Here, here!" Carrick says.

I smile at Christian "Damn right!" I say and kiss him soundly on the lips.

"Damn right!" Izzy shouts waving her small hands in the air, everyone stares at her and then bursts out laughing.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

_Six years later..._

"Mom!" The voice shouting up the stairs is earnest and impatient and I smile as I hear it as the tone is so similar to the one I have often heard coming from my husband.

I put down the manuscript I am currently reading and trying to make notes on and leaving my study I stand at the top of the stairs and I look over the stairwell.

"Yes Theo, what's the matter?" I ask, I can't help it but the smile grows wider at the sight of my eldest son who is standing at the bottom of the stairs with his hands on his hips, as he really is a miniature version of his father.

"I can't find my phone," he says angrily as he looks up at me.

I wonder what exactly he expects me to do about that as when Christian bought him the cell phone, he was told that it was his responsibility and if he lost it, it would not be replaced.

"Well look for it then – it will be where you left it!" I say as I retreat back to my office and carry on ploughing through the manuscripts.

Christian had only relented and bought Theo a phone for security reasons because he wanted to join the after-school athletics club. He is only 12 but is a seriously competitive athlete. He is tall for his age and is maturing rapidly; my baby boy is growing up.

As I settle down and pick up the manuscript that I am trying to read the door bursts open and Phoebe storms in, she is clearly agitated about something so once again I put down the manuscript and turn my full attention to her.

"Yes, Phoebe what can I do for you?" I ask patiently as I look at my 10-year-old daughter, she tosses back her long copper hair. She is so beautiful, all of my children have Christian stamped all over them, but Phoebe's eyes are unnervingly like Christian's, the same shade of grey which at the moment are sulky and miserable.

"Mom I really don't want to go to Ava's party, just because she is my cousin doesn't mean I have to like her," she says as she scowls at the thought.

I sigh, "Phoebe I am not going through this again, we are all going to Ava's party, it is her birthday, she is family and as such we help her celebrate".

"But mom" Phoebe whines.

I feel my temper rise, Ava and Phoebe were always very close when they were younger but recently things have not been good between them, I put it down to the fact that they are both so similar in temperament and they clash, neither one willing to admit when they are wrong.

"Enough!" I snap, I have had it with Phoebe's tantrums, god help us when she gets into her teenage years as she has been going on 15 since she was about 7. She tuts loudly and I shake my head as she flounces out of the room without another word, and I return my attention to my work once more and pick up the manuscript again.

A few moments later I put it down again and I sigh and give up my work as a bad job as I hear the front door slam and a sound resembling a herd of elephants thundering up the stairs. I wait and the next moment the door flies open and Isobel and Alex are charging towards me, each a ball of excitement desperate to tell me about their day at school.

From what I can grasp from the frantic gabbling Izzy has got all her spellings right and got a sticker and Alex got a star for a picture that he drew. I kiss them both and congratulate them and before I can say anything else off they whirl to change slamming the door shut behind them. I pause and listen wondering if anything else is going happen when I realise that is all, I try again and pick up the manuscript I have been trying to read and I start again.

There is a knock and my door opens again; now what? I turn to look and I smile as I see Gail standing there smiling at me, with a mug of steaming tea.

"I thought you might like this," she says kindly.

"Gail you are a lifesaver!" I grin and I stand to take the mug from her. "Thank you" I add after I take a sip.

I sit down again and sigh and as I sip my tea I try for the fifth time to work, as I pick up the manuscript once more, my phone rings, I shake my head and the urge to giggle is overwhelming, I pick up my phone and smile when I see Christian's name on the screen.

"Hello," I say.

"Ana, I have to work late I have to take a conference call from the shipyard in Taiwan, so I won't be home until about 7 ish."

"Ok fine, I'll let Gail know," I say a little sharper than I had planned to say it.

"Ana, what's wrong?" Christian has picked up on it and now sounds worried.

"Nothing, I am just trying to work and at this moment I have been reading the same line in the manuscript I am supposed to be reviewing 5 times, because I keep getting interrupted," I say and as soon as the words leave my mouth I immediately regret my outburst and want to stuff them back in.

"Well I'm sorry to have disturbed you" Christian replies haughtily. He sounds hurt, and I regret snapping at him.

"I'm sorry Christian, I am just feeling a little stressed at the moment I'm sorry I took it out on you," I say desperately trying to make things right again.

There is silence for a moment then when Christian speaks again it is in that low seductive tone which never fails to arouse me.

"Well you know I have an excellent cure for stress when I do come home" he purrs and I feel myself go weak.

"I may hold you to that!" I say "I love you" I add.

"I love you too baby, always" he replies, "See you later" and with that, he is gone.

I stand up and looking once more at the manuscript I decide to give it up and I go down to the kitchen, where Gail is busy preparing something delicious for dinner.

"Gail, Christian is not going to be home until about 7ish, that hasn't messed things up for you has it?"

Gail smiles "Not at all Mrs Grey, not a problem". She is so easy going and unflappable and I don't know what I would do without her, as I am thinking this the words come out of my mouth.

"Thank you; I honestly don't know what I'd do without you," I say sincerely. Gail just smiles at me and looks a little bit embarrassed.

As I walk away Sophie, Taylor's 20-year-old daughter wanders into the kitchen.

"Sophie darling how are you?" I ask as I embrace the beautiful young woman who is standing before me.

"I'm good thanks Ana, Jose is keeping me busy with this new campaign, I just thought I'd drop by and see my dad and Gail, where is dad?"

"I assume he's with Christian at Grey House, Christian has just phoned to say he is working late and won't be back till about 7 so I'm sure you will find him over there". I say

Sophie looks confused, "Oh, ok but I've just come from there and Andrea told me that Mr Grey had left the office for the afternoon and that my dad had gone with him".

"Oh" I reply and my mind starts working overtime, Christian has never lied to me before, what's going on, I try and keep calm, there must be some reasonable explanation – one which I cannot see at the moment, but my mind is running riot.

Sophie looks at me and must see my confusion and she looks uncomfortable, "she could have got it wrong," she offers lamely as the explanation.

I nod, knowing that is highly unlikely as Andrea is nothing but efficient and knows exactly what is going on. I push away the thoughts I am having and turn my attention back to Sophie.

"Anyway Sophie what's this new campaign?" I want a distraction and decide Sophie is the person to provide it. When she left school, she went to college and studied photography and advertising and when she graduated Jose was so impressed by her level of competence he had offered her a job as his assistant at the advertising company he works for.

"Baby food," she says, "I can't go into too much detail it's a new line and a bit hush-hush, can't think why, but it is" she shrugs.

I nod and smile, "Well as lovely as it is to catch up I have to get on," I say, I can't wait to get away now as I can't help wondering about where Christian is. Just then the door opens and Theo comes in for a drink.

"Sophie!" he exclaims "How are you?"

"Hi, Theo I'm good how's school?" Sophie replies grinning at Theo.

"Usual," he says with a sullen look as he helps himself to some water out of the fridge.

Sophie laughs, "Well stick with it and don't let them grind you down!"

Theo laughs "I won't," he says as he grins back at her.

I hear a buzzing noise and Theo rummages in his pocket and pulls out his phone.

"Oh, so you found it then?" I say staring at the phone in his hand. 

"Yeah it was in my bag all the time," he says dismissively as he stares at the screen at the text he has just received. Then without another word, he wanders out of the room texting rapidly.

It is 7:20 when Christian finally returns home, he comes in and kicks his shoes off and he yanks off his tie, and jacket. He sits with a sigh and smiles at me.

I just stare at him, and his face drops "Ana what's wrong?" he says leaning forward his grey eyes fixed on mine.

I decide not to beat around the bush "Why did you lie to me?" I say shortly.

He freezes "When?" he asks, he looks angry and hurt at the accusation.

"Tonight when you rang to say you would be late because of a conference call to Taiwan, yet Sophie arrived here about 2 minutes later looking for Taylor and said she had been told by Andrea you both had left for the day".

Christian sighs, "We had left, I got a call about a problem in Taiwan and had to turn the car around and go back to the office so I could set up the video conference call and that's when I called you, we must have missed Sophie that's all" he stares at me, realisation dawning on why I am confronting him. "You thought I was cheating on you?" he asks the shock evident in his voice.

I feel so stupid now, I knew deep down that there would be a reasonable explanation but I allowed all my insecurities free reign and the negativity just took over. I get up from my seat and walk over to him and I don't hesitate I climb into his lap and hold him.

"I'm so sorry," I say, in a really small voice.

He lifts my chin with his finger, so I am looking at him.

"Hey, it's no problem baby, but surely you should know by now that I will never ever cheat on you, there is nobody else, I have never even looked once let alone twice at any other woman, I don't need to because you are my universe, it's only ever been and only ever will be you." 

I let his words wash over me and I close my eyes, I really can't believe I actually thought what I did and now I feel incredibly stupid so I kiss him apologetically and he responds leaning down and he deepens the kiss whilst pulling me closer, I hear him groan as I press myself against him.

"God! Will you two get a room!" we both look up and see the disgusted look on Phoebe's face.

"And will you stop being so damn cheeky!" I snap back. Phoebe huffs once more before she flounces out again.

"What's the matter with her?" Christian asks as he watches her go.

I shake my head "She's sulking about Ava's birthday party, she doesn't want to go" I explain.

Christian sighs "well you can hardly blame her, after what Ava and her bratty friends did to her". I know what he is referring to but I look at Christian incredulously, I honestly can't believe such a clever man could be so dense at times.

"Christian it was proved Phoebe was as much to blame as Ava," I say as I start remembering back to the problem which had caused all the latest unpleasantness.

Phoebe had insulted Ava and to get her own back Ava and her friends had locked her in the tools shed in their garden and left her there. Kate and I had gotten the truth out and sorted the matter.

Christian sighs again, "She'll get over it," he says trying to end the subject.

I smile and let it go, I ease myself off of Christians knee and pull him up, "come on let's have dinner", he yanks me into his arms and spreads a line of kisses down my neck.

"Yes and then afterwards I will release some of that stress you have" he whispers into my neck.

**oooOOOooo**

Christian and I are lying in bed after he has comprehensively relieved my stress. I am feeling warm and fuzzy now, that is until he turns to me and I can see the hurt in his eyes, which makes me immediately on edge once more.

"Did you really believe I'd lied to you?" he asks.

"No... I don't know, I... oh I don't know I have been feeling out of sorts for a few days now and over-reacting to situations which normally I would handle with ease" I stare into his eyes and place my hand on his cheek, "I'm sorry" I say.

He smiles and pulls me on top of him, "Show me how sorry you are" he says with a wicked grin.

I grip his shoulders and lift myself before lowering down on to his waiting erection; I can't believe he is ready to go again so quickly.

Two hours later I am lying staring at my husband, he is now in his early 40's but his body is still as toned and beautiful as when I first met him, and his sexual appetite is still as insatiable. I lie in his arms and we slowly drift off to sleep.

The next morning I awaken and Christian is wrapped around me, making me hot and I frown, we haven't woken up like this for years, when we were first together it was a regular occurrence when he thought I would leave him after a fight. I sigh as I realise that my irrational behaviour yesterday must have upset him more than he was letting on, I gently stroke his arm and he rouses and kisses me on the neck.

"Good morning beautiful," he says smiling at me.

I smile and place a kiss on his nose, "Good morning my sexy wonderful husband" I say grinning at him.

"Hmm, sexy and wonderful eh? I like that" he says with a grin, and he pulls me closer.

There is a knock at the door; it has always been a rule in our house that the children knock before entering our bedroom when we are both in it, for obvious reasons.

"Yes" I call and the door opens slowly and standing there is our 8-year-old daughter Isobel.

She is a female version of her father, and at this moment she is dressed in a long pink princess dress, and tiara and she runs straight to Christian. There has always been a special bond between Isobel and Christian, all our children adore and idolise him, but Isobel is totally a daddy's girl and she can twist him around her little finger in a way nobody else can.

"Well good morning Princess, you look very lovely this morning," Christian says with a smile as he lifts her on to the bed, "What can I do for you?" he adds.

"I'm ready to go!" she says simply.

"Go where darling?" Christian asks.

"Ava's party" she says firmly.

Christian laughs, "Well that's great, but it's not until this afternoon, so I would suggest you wear something else this morning as you don't want to spoil your pretty dress do you?"

"Ok," she says simply and plants a sloppy kiss on Christian's cheek before jumping down and disappearing. As much as she can manipulate Christian to do what she wants, she adores her father so much that anything he says is law.

I am smiling as I watch her go, of all our children she is by far the easiest. Teddy or Theo as he now insists on being called is getting so ambitious and competitive in everything he does and he has to be on top at all costs. I am concerned that that ambition and drive to be the best will turn ruthless as he gets older. Christian and I are exceedingly proud of him though, he is only 12 but is working to a level of a 15-year-old and clever doesn't even begin to describe him and his passion and talent for athletics is astounding to watch as he wipes the floor with his peers. He has had an advantage though, Christian had one of the basement rooms converted into a home gym, for himself and Theo to work out, and Theo has been training with Claude since he was 7. I had lost count of the times they would appear sweaty and hot from their workout and Christian would shake his head in awe and say 'that boy is a machine!'

Then we have Phoebe and what can I say about her, she was a sweet-natured little girl but gradually she appears to be turning into a brat of epic proportions, her irrational jealousy of Isobel is disturbing and very worrying, in fact, you could say she doesn't really get on with anyone, she is confrontational and if things are not going Phoebe's way Phoebe lets you know about it as she kicks off and kicks off big time. Then finally there is Alexander, now 6 and a live wire, he is never still he always has to be doing something and when he enters a room you know about it as he is a whirlwind. He is my special little boy, the bond that Isobel and Christian seem to have is what Alex and I also have. I wouldn't say favourites, as that is wrong and I would never choose one child over the others, and I love all my children dearly and equally but after what I went through when I was pregnant with him there _is_ definitely a special bond between us, not only did I keep him safe when I miscarried his twin brother and then delivered him healthy and to term, but there is something there which pulls me to him, it's like the umbilical cord between us has never been cut and just like how Izzy always gravitates towards Christian, he will always come to me first.

I still remember clearly and with dread that awful dream I had that he had died of cot death when he was a baby I had never had a dream so realistic before and thankfully I have never had another since and I never want to again, I still break out in a cold sweat when my mind wanders back to that time.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Christian who is gazing at me.

"Welcome back, what were you thinking about?" he asks.

"Our children" I reply with a smile.

**oooOOOooo**

Christian is sitting eating his breakfast as I wander in and join him. Gail appears, "Good morning Mrs Grey what can I get you for breakfast?" she asks as she smiles kindly at me.

I am suddenly feeling hungry, really hungry "You know what Gail, I would love an omelette with cheese and mushrooms, please".

Christian stares at me in shock, his forkful of omelette has frozen mid-air as he gapes at me, his face breaks into a huge grin, he is clearly pleased with what he has just heard, as he is always complaining that I don't eat enough.

"Certainly Mrs Grey, coming right up!" Gail says as she bustles away.

Theo comes in with wet hair and a towel around his shoulders, Christian smiles at him, "Did you enjoy your workout son?" he asks.

"Yep, and I beat my time for 200 metres, I will destroy everyone at the heats next week!" he says with a grin.

He goes to the fridge and opens a carton of orange and pours himself a huge glass full, and sits beside Christian.

"Are you coming to watch dad?" he asks.

"Try keeping me away" Christian replies.

Just then our attention turns to the whirlwind which has just entered the room, Alex and Isobel are barrelling in and Isobel runs to Christian and stops dead when she sees Theo sitting next him, Theo grins at her and moves over she flings her arms around him and then climbs up on the chair Theo has just vacated.

Phoebe appears looking sulky and sits herself down with a dramatic sigh, I smile at her and she turns her head away, I sigh and shake my head. Alex comes to sit with me gabbling nineteen to the dozen about Ava's party.

"Will Noah be there?" he asks suddenly, I glance at Christian and he shrugs.

"I don't know darling" I reply honestly and I take another shot look at Christian before taking a sip of tea.

After Elliot had self-destructed and had an affair which resulted in Noah his marriage to Kate had inevitably broken up. It was also a bit uncomfortable that the woman he had slept with was Susannah, who was one of Christian's ex-subs, not that anyone other than us and Kate knew that fact. To be fair though Susannah has been a model of discretion, dignity and maturity over the years though, never letting on about her past involvement with Christian.

Kate and Susannah had ironically become friends bonding over how badly Elliot had treated them both. He has tried time and time again to straighten himself out and be a good father but he always managed to screw it up and let his children down somehow.

He had been devastated when Kate refused to take him back, and just couldn't separate being a father to Ava and Zoe from the relationship he wanted with Kate. He isn't a deadbeat dad as he has contributed financially towards all his children and they have never had to go without materially but he is never there for them emotionally like Christian is with ours.

Alex looks at his father, "Why doesn't Noah live with Ava and Zoe? he is their brother after all" I almost choke on my omelette, and glance at Christian who looks uncomfortable. It seems that it's a question all the children want answering, as they are all staring expectantly at Christian waiting for him to reply.

"Uncle Elliot is Noah's dad, but Aunty Kate isn't his mom," Christian says eventually.

"Who is his mum?" Alex asks.

"Another lady" Christian replies in clipped tone. I can tell by the expression on his face he doesn't want this to carry on, so I try a distraction on Alex.

"What are you planning to wear this afternoon Alex?" I ask.

The technique was successful and Alex happily tells me about his planned outfit. I glance at Phoebe she has a smug expression on her face, she has been listening intently to the conversation and I can tell that she is plotting something. This is confirmed for me when we don't hear another complaint from Phoebe about not wanting to go and it's making me nervous; I corner Christian in his study mid-morning.

"Christian I'm worried," I say as I close the door.

He is on his feet and coming towards me anxiety written all over his face, "What's wrong?" he asks.

I sigh, "It's Phoebe, after that conversation this morning at breakfast, about Noah, she has been... I don't know... different."

Christian nods "Yes I had noticed that, she gives you the impression she is up to something."

"It's not just me then?" I say in relief.

"No, it's not but don't worry I'll keep an eye on her," he says pulling me closer and planting a kiss on my forehead. I reach up and grab his face and pull his mouth towards mine. The kiss deepens instantly and his hands are all over me as he pulls to towards him I feel him harden against me. I still have trouble believing the effect I have on this man sometimes, not to mention the effect he has on me.

I brazenly reach down and unzip his jeans and I hear him suck in a sharp breath as I reach into his boxer briefs and take him in my hand stroking him gently but firmly.

"Fuck" he moans, gripping me tighter and thrusting his hips forward.

I let go and easing myself away from him, I lower myself to my knees.

"Ana" Christian moans as I grasp him again and let my tongue glide slowly over the glistening head of his penis, as his hands move to grip my head I swallow him and I smile inwardly as he lets out a primal guttural groan.

I start moving with purpose, taking him to the back of my throat and withdrawing, sucking hard, I let my tongue caress him and I look up to see the unadulterated pleasure on his face.

"Ana" Christian hisses after a few more moment, "Shit I'm going to come, I don't want to come in your mouth" he says desperately.

I ignore him and keep my steady rhythm, I feel him swell and lengthen and then jerk in my mouth, as he does so he freezes holding himself still and holding my head in a vice like grip. I feel the warmth and taste the saltiness as I swallow reflexively taking everything he gives me.

I'm not sure what happens next but the next thing I realise is when I am on my back on his desk and he is looming over me.

"Your turn," he says ominously and then he lowers his head between my legs.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

Taylor pulls up at Kate's house, and everyone clambers out, a second SUV pulls up behind and the rest of the security team emerge. Christian is paranoid about our children being kidnapped, which is hardly surprising considering the things which have happened in the past.

Jack Hyde tried and failed to kidnap me and to harm our children, eventually taking Kate and holding her hostage in a desperate attempt to lure myself and Christian to him. I still go cold when I think about that twisted man, he has been locked up in a psychiatric facility since that time with no hope of release, and I hope he rots in there.

I look at the team and smile, Jason Taylor Christian's trusted bodyguard and right-hand man a calm safe pair of hands who we consider more a part of the family than an employee. Luke Sawyer, my bodyguard and trusted friend since before I married Christian. Christopher Ryan a solitary private man who I still know very little about despite the fact he has been with us now for many years and is unwaveringly loyal to Christian. He is Theo and Phoebe's guard, he is their shadow when they are out of our sight, but this is getting to be more and more difficult now as they are getting older and doing their own thing and on occasions he is helped by Tony Wiseman. He is a relatively new addition to the team and an old army buddy of Taylor's who came to work for us full time about 4 years ago along with Patrick Dawes someone who Luke knew previously from his time in the military. Then there is Karen Prescott a long time member of the team, and the only person to have been fired by Christian and yet she still remains in her job. She is in charge of Isobel and Alex's safety.

Taylor is issuing instructions and gesticulating and the security teams spread out and disappear. Christian puts his arm around my waist and Isobel runs up and grabs his free hand Alex comes and holds my hand I glance around looking for Phoebe and Theo and they are following us Theo is looking very relaxed, but Phoebe still looking closed and if I'm not mistaken a little bit smug. I shiver, what is she up to?

Kate greets us with a hug and a kiss, Christian stiffly kisses her cheek and puts his hand on her shoulder, he has never been a fan of Kate's but he was a rock to her when she was going through her divorce with Elliot.

"He's here with Noah" she whispers in my ear as she embraces me.

My eyebrows lift in shock at this revelation. Elliot's participation in his daughter's lives since the split has been hit and miss to put it politely.

"Really?!" I can't help but saying in response and Kate just nods.

At that moment before I can make any further comment; Noah runs in followed by Elliot, who stops dead when he sees us all. He holds his hand out silently to Christian who after a moment's hesitation accepts it stiffly.

"Elliot," Christian says coldly.

"Christian, its good to see you," Elliot says sincerely, then he turns towards me "Ana," he says nervously and plants a small peck on my cheek.

I nod and force myself to smile. Elliot and I have grown estranged over the years, because every time I have seen him seems to have been after he has screwed up again and I have let him have it both barrels with my opinion of his behaviour.

The awkwardness is apparent and I sigh, oh this is going to be fun afternoon if this is anything to go by. I think of my niece who is the reason we are here and I plant a bright smile on my face, and walk out into the garden.

"Aunty Ana" Ava runs up to me and flings her arms around me.

"Happy birthday darling!" I say and she grins back at me.

"Uncle Christian" she squeals and then she throws herself at him, he laughs and crouches down to her and hugs her tightly.

"So how are you birthday girl?" he says smiling at her.

"Really good thank you," she says.

Her smile slips a little as she spots Phoebe. The open animosity between the two girls is quite staggering and I turn to look at Phoebe, who is standing and watching with a strange look on her face. Then my attention is drawn to Theo who saunters forward and effortlessly breaks the oppressive atmosphere which has settled between the two.

"Happy birthday cuz," he says giving Ava a friendly shove, and she beams at him as she elbows him in the ribs. He clutches himself in a show of dramatic fake pain which makes me smile and makes Ava giggle.

They have always been very close and I think it's that relationship which they have which is what Phoebe resents most, as she feels pushed out by them at times, and so she kicks off to try and get attention. Ava is feisty, and she fires back clashing with Phoebe. Therefore stoking the attention (albeit negative attention), that Phoebe seems to desire. Theo on the other hand, doesn't put up with Phoebe's dramatics and doesn't bite. He just tends to ignore her and walks away when she starts going off on one which totally defeats Phoebe and the reason she had a tantrum in the first place. He loves her as he loves all his siblings but he doesn't allow himself to be drawn into her games.

We have tried until we are blue in the face to explain to Phoebe that the way she behaves won't win her any friendships but she doesn't seem to listen to anyone and carries on regardless of what advice she is given.

"Theo, come and see my new bike," Ava says pulling him away. I glance around, Isobel is glued to Christian and Alex is happily kicking a ball about with Noah, I smile as I watch my youngest son squealing with laughter as he plays happily with his cousin.

Christian keeps a watchful eye on Phoebe throughout the afternoon. Ava completely ignores her as does Zoe and there is a sort of exclusion zone around Phoebe as she refuses to join in and play with everyone. I sigh and shake my head sadly; she just can't see she is making things worse for herself with her silly behaviour. Kate comes and stands with me.

"It's like a standoff isn't it?" she says nodding her head towards Ava and then Phoebe.

I nod in agreement but lowering my voice I lean towards Kate and whisper in her ear, "Kate I will just warn you, and give you a heads up here, I think Phoebe is up to something."

Kate looks at me questioningly and I proceed to tell her about the events at breakfast, and she nods.

"Thanks," she says "The girls know everything, within reason of course so if she tries to stir up trouble, it won't have any effect as they know that Susannah is Noah's mom, they've even met her when we first introduced them to Noah."

"Is she here?" I ask looking around.

"Who, Susannah?" Kate asks and I nod.

Kate shakes her head, "No, she didn't think it would be a good idea, with Christian being here. She didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable".

Kate pauses "I see her quite often though. She is a lovely person" she adds.

I nod saying nothing. I look up to see Mia waddling towards us, she is heavily pregnant and Ethan is with her with a concerned expression on his face.

"Ana, Christian," she says in a breathless voice, she hugs Christian and he frowns at her.

"Mia you should be resting," he says sharply.

Mia rolls her eyes and flaps her hand dismissively at him, "Oh don't you start, I get enough of that from him," she says in an exasperated tone.

I smile sympathetically; Mia and Ethan are expecting their first baby, they have been married for 3 years. She is looking huge and uncomfortable. Mia turns to me and smiles, "God Ana I have no idea how you went through this four times. I am not putting myself through this again ever" she is so adamant we all laugh.

Carrick appears and puts his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek, as he hands me a glass. I turn and smile "Hi Carrick, thank you, where's Grace?" I ask.

He nods towards a table where Grace is sitting in deep conversation with Elliot, she glances over in our direction and she beams at me, she touches Elliot's arm and walks towards us.

"Christian darling," she says kissing him, and wrapping her arms around him he responds and pulls her into a tight hug. This never fails to give me a surge of happiness and anyone can see how much it means to Grace, seeing him accepting his mother's love and affection is something he always struggled with; but not anymore, my husband has come so far over the years we have been together.

"Hello mom," he says warmly.

"Ana, come and talk to me," Grace says and grasps my hand; I glance at Christian who just shrugs and after giving me a wicked grin he carries on with his conversation with Mia and Ethan.

When we get back to her table, Elliot has vanished. Grace looks at me she seems to be searching my eyes for something.

"What's wrong Grace?" I ask a little nervously.

"I was going to ask you the same thing, you look sad Ana it's not a look I have seen in your eyes before and I don't like it."

I am astounded "Well I don't feel sad" I retort.

I stop and think, I have been feeling off for a few days not being able to put my finger on what is the matter but shrugged it off as just being stressed. I open up to Grace and tell her about my worries about Phoebe about how her behaviour is concerning me and the way we are all on alert today in case she does something stupid. I have hardly got the words out of my mouth when I see Ava running inside in floods of tears and Phoebe standing with her arms folded looking extremely pleased with herself.

Everything goes into slow motion I see Christian stride towards Phoebe his face like thunder and I see him grasp her hand and march her into the house. I see Kate running towards the house and Elliot is just rooted to the spot with his mouth open. I look at Grace and the unspoken words pass between us and get up and follow as I see Carrick walking towards Elliot. I glance around and I am surprised to see everyone else is oblivious to what has just happened they are all enjoying the party.

As I walk through the door I can hear Christian shouting, from what he is saying he is shouting at Phoebe, I am a little bit shocked as he has never raised his voice to the children before, even when he has been angry with them he has always managed to get across his complete disapproval without raising his voice but at this moment he sounds incredibly angry.

Ava is sobbing uncontrollably in a chair and Kate is trying to console her. Phoebe is standing looking up defiantly at Christian, but her face is very pale and she too looks close to tears, probably from the shock of hearing Christian shouting at her. He is standing over her and it is obvious he is intimidating her but the fact she still has an element of defiance on her face is quite astonishing.

"I WILL ASK YOU AGAIN WHAT DID YOU DO?" Christian is losing his cool at her demeanour and lack of communication. I walk over and grasp his hand, he calms immediately and breathing heavily says in a slightly softer tone "Answer me, Phoebe, what have you done?"

Phoebe looks around the room all eyes are on her, and then she pulls herself up straight and looking Christian in the eye she finally speaks.

"I told her the truth" she says smugly.

Christian closes his eyes briefly as if he is counting to ten when he opens them I see they have turned to flint, "Phoebe, I am losing my patience with you, either you tell me what you said or I will ask Ava" he gestures towards the weeping girl on the chair.

"Ask her, I don't care!" Phoebe says, but there is now a look of fear evident in her eyes, she is beginning to realise she has gone way too far.

Christian takes another deep breath and then turns and crouches beside Ava, reaching for her hand he gently places his on top of it and pulls it towards him.

"Ava," he says carefully and I watch as she lifts her tear-stained face up towards him and he smiles reassuringly at her, "Ava darling what did Phoebe say to you to upset you so much?"

Ava sniffs loudly and then starts to speak, "It was horrible what she said Uncle Christian, she said... she said... dad left us because he didn't want me and Zoe any more and that he just wanted Noah."

Upon hearing that I can't control myself and I stalk towards my daughter and grasping her hand I drag her out to the car, pushing her in I snarl "You can sit and wait here young lady, oh you are in so much trouble its unreal, you can stay here and think about what you've done" Ryan appears I manage to force a weak smile, he nods and climbs into the car.

I enter the house and I see Christian, Kate and Elliot talking to Ava and Zoe, I walk over, between them they all seem to have convinced her that what Phoebe had said wasn't true.

Theo walks in and sits beside Ava, he puts his hand on her shoulder, "Cheer up cuz and just ignore Phoebe. She's not right in the head!" he says flippantly and Ava snorts with laughter as Christian glares at Theo and then shakes his head.

"Not helpful Theo" he growls.

I am apologising profusely to Kate for Phoebe's behaviour but thankfully she's not angry at us which is a relief.

"Kids are cruel and Ava has said some pretty harsh things to Phoebe in her time so she's getting a taste of her own medicine, although that was a bit low, not to mention calculated for a kid of that age." She says and I have to agree with her, as I was thinking the same thing.

I nod, and look around, Grace has vanished I think that maybe she has gone out back to the party, but she is nowhere to be seen as I go out as well. About half an hour later she reappears, and pulls me to one side, "Ana I have been talking with Phoebe, that is one frightened and confused little girl."

I frown, Christian appears beside me "What's going on?" he asks.

Grace starts to reveal her conversation with Phoebe.

I sit with my arm around Christian's shoulder, he looks devastated he has his head in his hands. Grace has left us alone to take in what she has just told us, I can't believe our daughter has felt like this and we haven't noticed.

It seems from what Grace has said Phoebe doesn't feel to be part of our family, she feels the outsider and not worthy. She is jealous of everyone because she thinks they are all better than her and loved more than her, and Grace seems to think that is the underlying reason for Phoebe's negative behaviour but what she doesn't realise is that behaviour is just making things worse. It was horrible to listen to Grace telling us just how completely we have failed her.

She is jealous of Ava and Zoe because of their good relationship with Theo, she is jealous of Theo because he is so clever and a complete success at everything he touches, she is jealous of Isobel because she believes Christian loves her more because Izzy is so close to him and she is jealous of Alex because she believes I love him more because he is so close to me.

That is a whole lot of insecurity, and neither of us has any idea how to tackle it. There is also a whole lot of guilt there too, I know the relationship between myself and Alex is something special it always has been, but I love all my children equally, but I try to think of things from Phoebe's point of view.

"She sounds just like me," Christian says quietly his head still in his hands, I always felt I wasn't good enough, and now my daughter feels the same".

"She sounds like both of us Christian," I say "I've been known to have a few insecurities in my time too".

"I've been a shitty father" Christian whispers, heaping the blame for everything firmly upon himself.

I get angry suddenly, "Don't you dare! You are not a shitty father Christian and don't you ever think that, you are an exemplary father if you were a shitty father, I would never have gone on to have four children with you, and I would've left you after Teddy."

Christian's head whips up at that and I see the fear in his eyes, I place my hand on his arm, "I'm still here Christian, because you are not a shitty father" I say quietly.

"No you're not, if anyone is a shitty father around here it definitely isn't you" We look towards the voice and see Elliot standing in the doorway.

He looks at Christian, "I think I hold that title – and its something I am not proud of, but it's also something I am determined to put right, I think today has been a wake-up call".

I turn to Christian "Christian look at me" I say sharply he turns his head, the look in his eyes rips my heart in two, but I swallow and gripping his hand I say firmly "This isn't about how we feel, we have to fix this."

He sighs deeply and nods.

**oooOOOooo**

We are sitting with Phoebe in our lounge; Theo has taken Alex and Isobel outside out of the way so we can talk to our eldest daughter. She is sitting with her head down and we are unsure of where to begin.

I take a deep breath, "Grandma Grace told us how you were feeling" I start, Phoebe lifts her head up and looks at me.

Christian leans forward and grasps her small hands in his, "Talk to us Phoebe" he urges.

Phoebe shakes her head "I don't hate Ava or Zoe or... anyone, I just wanted her to feel how I feel."

"How do you feel darling?" I coax.

The silence seems to stretch out until she finally blurts out "Theo is so clever and he knows exactly what he wants and where he is going and you are both so proud of him and you love him to pieces, everything he does he excels at he is years ahead in his school work and without any effort he gets straight A's which you are both proud of him for. He is also an amazing athlete and so you are proud of him for that as well, then dad loves Izzy, you've seen how he is with her and how she is with him and you love Alex and..." she stops tears welling up in her eyes.

Christian wraps his arms around Phoebe and in a voice thick with emotion, starts to talk, "We love you, Phoebe, more than you will ever know, you are our eldest daughter, I'm sorry if you think we haven't shown you enough," he says.

I swallow and turn to Phoebe, "I'm sorry Phoebe, if I have made you think I love Alex more" I pause wondering how I can put the way I feel about Alex in a way she will understand and not make her feel worse about herself.

"Phoebe darling look at me" she turns her head towards me, I take a deep breath, "I don't love Alex any more than you darling, I love all of you... I love all of you equally with all my heart, its just because of what happened with Matthew, I feel very protective towards Alex, you were too young to really remember what was going on at the time."

"I do remember mommy" she says suddenly, "you and dad didn't come home from work Mrs Taylor looked after us all, Theo asked her what was going on and she wouldn't tell us, Grandma Grace came and sat with us for a while and she was really sad."

I nod listening to her, "Well when Matthew died, there was a chance Alex could die too and so I was frightened as obviously I didn't want that to happen and I had to try and keep Alex safe so he could be born at the right time, and it was a big relief when he was, but that doesn't mean I love him more than any of you, yes he always seems to turn to me and Izzy always turns to your dad that is just because they feel comfortable doing that it's not a question of us loving them more, you will understand better when you are older, but please believe me Phoebe, I love you with all my heart."

Phoebe nods but then turns to Christian "Do you love Izzy more than me?" she asks quietly.

Christian shakes his head adamantly "You are _all _equally my entire world" he says.

Phoebe nods again and a small smile appears on her face.

Christian turns to her "Phoebe" he says she turns and gazes up into his Grey eyes "Phoebe, we are proud of all of you, you are all special in your own ways, you have talents – look at your drawing skills you can sketch some beautiful pictures I have a number of them framed on my wall in my office at work and many people who come in have commented on them."

Phoebe looks startled at that revelation and then the small watery weak smile explodes into a wide grin. She flings her arms around Christian's neck and plants a wet kiss on his cheek.

"Can I ring Ava?" she says suddenly, "I want to say sorry properly to her."

Christian pulls his phone from his pocket and hands it to her smiling, she scrolls through his contacts and finds Kate's number takes a deep breath, dials and waits.

"Aunty Kate, may I speak to Ava please, also I'm really sorry about today, I shouldn't have spoilt Ava's birthday, I was being mean and I am really, really sorry... yes... I won't... thank you Aunty Kate".

There is a pause, and then Phoebe starts to tremble Christian places his arm around her shoulder and when she looks up at him he smiles kindly down to her.

"Ava" she says suddenly, "Listen to me please, I know you hate me right now, but please listen, I am really sorry about what I said to you... yes I really am... yes pinky swear, I will never be that mean again... yes but I said much worse, yes ok... Bye Ava".

Phoebe hangs up and hands Christian his phone back, she smiles at us, "She said sorry too for all the things she's done," she said.

"Right then" Christian says sharply, Phoebe looks up at him, "You were very naughty today Phoebe and so you should be punished for what you did, what you said was unforgivable, however, there were reasons behind what you did which don't excuse you but explain why you did it, so on this occasion I am only going to ground you for 1 day as your punishment, and I want you to promise me that you will never ever do or say anything that nasty again".

"I promise daddy," she says her eyes fixed on his.

"Also, I want you to promise something else, and that is if you feel at any time sad or unwanted or unloved you come and you tell us and tell us why you feel like that because we need to know these things Phoebe so we can reassure you and make it right so it doesn't get out of hand, do you understand."

"Yes daddy and I promise," she says.

We all close in and stand in a group hug.

We watch her leave the room and I turn to Christian and I still see the guilt in his eyes, I know that same look is probably in mine as well at the moment, Phoebe was right, albeit unconsciously and unknowingly it had looked to her that we had had favourites and that was unforgivable.

Things seem to calm down after our talk with Phoebe; she seems more open and relaxed. It's still early days but all the signs look good so we are keeping our fingers crossed. I still feel guilty and I know Christian does too for the way we have made her feel.

**oooOOOooo**

A week later it is Theo's athletic heats. I am at the track already with Sawyer hovering around and Phoebe, Isobel and Alex are sitting quietly looking around them, I keep looking around waiting for my husband to make an appearance, where is Christian he should be here by now? the heats are about to start. I look across at Theo who is warming up on the sidelines and a few feet away is Ryan keeping a watchful eye on everything that is going on. I feel a hand on my shoulder and then a small kiss on my head I look up to see Christian is lowering himself into the seat beside me whilst Taylor is hovering on the stairs.

"Hi baby, did I miss anything?" he says as he leans in and kisses me again this time on the lips.

I shake my head; I glance around and notice that practically every woman in the stand now has their eyes fixed on Christian. I used to feel jealous about this but now it doesn't bother me at all if anything I find it amusing.

"Where have you been?" I ask.

"I got caught in traffic," He says as he reaches into his pocket and turns off his phone, this is something he always does when we are at an event regarding the children.

We wait patiently for the heats to begin, whoever wins and comes second and third will qualify to go through to the state final at the end of the month and whoever wins that will be automatically entered into the national junior athletics heats.

The 200 metres heat begins and Theo strides confidently over to his lane, I grasp Christians hand as he looks so small he is only 12 yet all the other boys are at least 14 and look much more powerful but his coach felt he could do it.

Phoebe stands and shouts "You can do it, Theo!" 

Encouraged by his sister's actions, Alex jumps up and yells "Go Theo Go!

The starting pistol is fired and they are gone it's only half a lap and it is over before we know it. We see Theo lunging at the tape, it was very close between him and a very tall older boy, we hold our breath our eyes fixed on the results screen, it seems like an eternity before they are displayed, Theo came second, I see him shake the other boys hand but I also see the bitter disappointment on his face.

He has also entered the 400 metres heats, he is not expected to win this but his coach feels it is all good experience for him, so we wait for those heats. As Theo takes his place in his lane, he glances up to the stand and searches for us, he sees me and I give him a thumbs up.

Phoebe stands and again shouts "You can do it Theo" he sees her and smiles.

He looks at Christian I turn and see Christian smile and nod at him. The starting pistol is fired but it's a false start, someone has gone before the gun and so they take their places again. The pistol is fired again and they are off. I watch as 3 boys immediately overtake Theo, I watch my boy run and I am astounded at the power he has in his legs. Christian is right he is like a machine but the 3 boys in front are bigger and stronger but as they come around to finish the lap, Theo suddenly takes off I watch in amazement as he steps up a gear and powers past two of the opposition.

I sit with my mouth open, unable to believe what I am seeing, he really has a chance of winning this and we both realise it so Christian and I jump to our feet cheering him on, its very close at the finish between Theo and the other boy we wait, Theo stands with his hands on his hips glaring at the results screen. I grip Christians hand when the results flash on to the screen I cannot believe my eyes, he won! Tears of pride roll down my cheeks, Christian is clapping and whooping, and behaving in a most undignified manner, he has never let himself go so publicly before. Alex and Isobel are jumping up and down cheering wildly, we quickly make our way down to him and his coach looks as surprised as us.

"Well I wasn't expecting that!" he says as he shakes Christian's hand.

Christian slaps Theo on the back, "Well done son!" he says.

"Thanks, dad" he replies grinning, I see the steely determination in his eyes, as I fold him into my arms and hug him tightly.

"Mom!" he says trying to pull away.

Phoebe shoves him playfully "Way to go bro!" she says.

Theo shoves her back grinning widely as Alex and Isobel fling themselves at him.

That evening we are all sitting around the table eating dinner recounting Theo's tremendous win when the telephone rings, Christian reaches into his pocket and pulls it out. 

"Ethan," he says and then a huge smile appears on his face.

"That's wonderful, congratulations, how's Mia? Good, tell me the details... really?!... Wow, oh that's beautiful, keep us posted, and send us a photograph… thanks, bye" Christian puts his phone down.

"Mia has given birth to a baby boy" he says grinning widely.

"Oh, that's wonderful news, " I say, Mia and Ethan had stubbornly refused to find out the baby's sex throughout the pregnancy, wanting it to be a surprise when he/she was born, a little boy, I look at Christian expectantly, "And?" I coax.

"He was huge, 9lb 4oz and they are calling him Jonathan."

"Hmm, Jonathan Kavanagh – that's nice," I say.

As I say this Christian's phone pings again and he smiles as a photograph of the little Kavanagh arrival comes through.

Christian has ordered flowers to be sent to Mia from all of us and I decide I am going to go shopping for a gift the next day, Christian thinks I should just send Taylor to buy something but it is something I want to do.

I have some ideas and I know exactly what I am going to do.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting arranging the bundle of goodies I have bought; I have bought a beautiful wicker basket and am filling it with baby goods. I have bought clothing, toiletries, a blanket and a toy teddy bear. I stand back and admire my work, I feel a pair of hands on my hips I turn and Christian is smiling at me, staring at the basket.

"That looks lovely," he says.

"Thank you" I reply with a grin.

We arrive at the hospital eager to see Mia and the baby; Mia wanted to stay an extra day to gather herself before heading home with a new baby. She looks radiant as we walk in; Ethan is sitting in the chair beside her, and he is cradling his son, and he looking every inch the proud father. Christian strides over and kisses Mia on the cheek, and then gazes down at his new nephew.

"Do you want a cuddle, Uncle Christian?" Ethan teases.

Christian grins and takes the baby from him with practised ease; I wander over and place my arm around Christians waist staring at the blinking, wriggling little bundle in his arms.

"Oh, Mia he's beautiful!" I coo as Christian gently lowers him into my arms.

Mia beams at us "He is isn't he, but then again I'm biased" she says.

We offload the gifts onto the bed in front of Mia, and she gasps when she sees the basket.

"Thank you so much!" she says her eyes wide as she looks through all the things.

Christian steps forward and reaches into his jacket pocket and hands Ethan an envelope. "This is something for my nephew's future" he says in a low voice to Ethan. Ethan nods and opens the envelope, his eyes widen and he gapes when he sees the cheque inside and starts shaking his head.

"Christian, this is too much, we can't accept this!" he says trying to pass it back.

Christian holds his hands up and glares at Ethan, "It is not for you to decide that. That money is for Jonathan, for his future", he snaps.

"I gave exactly the same amount to Ava, Zoe and Noah, all I ask is that you invest it for him wisely" he adds in a slightly gentler tone.

Tears well up in Ethan's eyes, and he hands the cheque to Mia, her mouth drops open.

"A hundred thousand dollars!" she squeals, "Christian you are so over the top" She holds her arms out to him, he bends and hugs her tightly, and plants a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Thank you, Christian" she whispers.

"My pleasure!" he replies.

As he stands Ethan holds his hand out to Christian, I can see he is still shell-shocked, by Christian's very generous gift, "Thank you, Christian, I promise you I will invest this wisely for him".

Christian shakes Ethan's hand and pulls him into a hug. "You are very welcome," he says.

All too soon, we have to leave, as we are leaving Carrick and Grace appear; Grace hugs me tightly and kisses Christian on the cheek, as we pass them.

As we are driving home, I look at Christian, who seems deep in thought as he stares straight ahead; I place my hand on his thigh, he turns and smiles at me.

"Do you want me to crash?" he teases.

"No, I'm just wondering what you are thinking?" I gaze up at him.

His expression softens and he smiles, "A few things, I was remembering when you had Theo, how I felt when I held our son for the first time, knowing I was responsible for this helpless little person, and I was also remembering back to when mom first brought Mia home."

I smile and look down at my knees.

"Why? What are you thinking baby?" he asks.

"I just wondered," I say and carefully avoid the rest of the question; I don't want to tell him I am thinking about Matthew, I don't want to spoil the happy atmosphere in the car.

I turn and look out of the window.

"Ana" Christian says gently "you were thinking about Matthew weren't you?"

I nod "I'm sorry" I whisper.

Christian immediately pulls over and then grasps my hand.

"Ana, you lost a baby that is something which will always be there in your mind, never apologise to me for caring about it and remembering" he runs his fingers down my cheek.

"Can we go and see him?" I say.

"What now?" Christian asks surprised.

I shake my head, "No, not now, but I'd like to go to his grave - with you".

I go to visit Matthew's grave quite often; I will go and place some flowers and just sit and think about him. I know Christian goes as well, but for some reason, we have never been together the only time we were together at his grave was at the funeral he had for him, and I think it's time to remedy that and I want us to go together.

Christian nods "Sure baby we will go whenever you want".

I smile and try and shake the melancholy thoughts from my mind.

When we arrive home the children greet us desperate to hear about Jonathan and are eager to see the photographs I took of him on my phone.

The next day the gossip columns are buzzing, the press were at the athletic heats and the photographs of Christian cheering Theo are plastered all over them. He scowls as he looks at them on his laptop.

"Parasites" he mutters under his breath.

I smile as I sip my tea and tuck into a bowl of granola.

As Isobel and Alex leave for school with Prescott, I pick up my bag and gather my things ready for work. I give them both a kiss and a hug and tell them to be good; as they disappear through the door. Christian comes up behind me as I am shutting the door and he pulls me into him pressing me against him I turn in his arms towards him and wrap my arms around him.

"Mr Grey, are you trying to make me late for work?" I say.

He grins, "I just want to hold my beautiful wife in my arms before I leave for work," he says with a wicked grin.

"Carry on like this and we will never get to work," I say. Christian leans down and kisses me passionately as he is pressing me against him I feel his arousal starting to grow.

"Oh get a room" I hear and I smile and gently pull away from Christian.

I turn towards Theo and Phoebe who are wandering through with Ryan on their way to school; they both have equally disgusted expressions on their faces at our public display of affection. I go to my older children and giving them both a hug, I deposit a kiss on each of them as they leave with Ryan.

Christian walks towards me as though he is panther watching for the moment to pounce on its prey.

"Well it would appear we are all alone now," he says as he catches me in his arms again.

"Hmm, so we are, how interesting!" I reply.

He laughs, "those gossip columns got me thinking, they said the iceman thaws or something equally ridiculous and I wanted to show you just how hot I can be".

I raise my eyebrows and pull back and stare at him, "Christian" I say incredulously "I have been married to you for 13 years, we have 4 children together, I think I know how hot you are!"

"I want us to go home this morning I have cleared my schedule, so ring Hannah and clear yours" he whispers seductively as he places small kisses on my neck.

"What do you mean home, we are at home?" I ask looking and feeling confused.

"Escala" he murmurs seductively.

"Oh," I say the penny dropping suddenly, I reach for my phone and keeping my eyes on him I call Hannah.

"Hannah clear my schedule this morning please, I will be in at lunchtime, thank you" I hang up.

He grabs my hand and practically drags me to the R8. He opens my door and I climb in and almost before I can draw breath we roar off towards Escala.

As we arrive, I look around it feels funny being back here, I haven't been back since we came to find Kate when Jack had her, but that was in the service area of the apartment and I try and put it out of my mind.

We very rarely use Escala now preferring instead to spend time at our family home, but I am fond of the place and it has its uses. As the elevator doors open Christian pulls me through and drags me upstairs to the playroom.

The familiar comforting smell of wood, leather and citrus fills the air as he opens the door.

"Christian, why are we here?" I ask.

"I wanted one last time in here with you" he replies.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask panic suddenly coursing through me.

He sighs, "I am selling the apartment, so this room" he waves his hands around "has to go."

"You're selling Escala?" I gape at him, why hasn't he said anything before?

"Yes" he replies, "We hardly ever come here, its a white elephant now I might as well sell it and make something on the place" he looks around "I will be sad to say goodbye to the place though".

I stop and think "Christian, don't sell it," I say.

He stares at me, "Listen, get rid of the playroom if you want to but keep Escala."

"But why?" he asks.

"Because in a few years time, not too far in the future our children are going to want to leave home and you are going to flip about it," Christian opens his mouth to argue, but I place my finger on his lips.

"Shush, Escala would be the perfect place for Theo or Phoebe when they want to strike out on their own but close enough for you to still feel in control".

He thinks about it and smiles, "That is why I married you because you are so smart!" he says, "But for now I want to do rude things to you in here."

I smile at him, "Well what are you waiting for?"


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

Christian and I are lying in each other's arms we are calm and sated on the bed in the playroom. It's been a while since we have done anything quite like that, a long while and it felt good, really good.

"I'm definitely NOT selling Escala!" he mutters and I giggle unable to say or do anything more.

Christian rolls on top of me again and kisses me, "Even after all these years that is still my favourite sound in the world" he says smiling at me.

His hand gently caresses my face and then it moves down towards my breast.

I close my eyes and enjoy his touch. Suddenly he freezes, I feel his hand is clamped to my breast and his grip is tightening to the point where it is becoming uncomfortable.

"No, oh god no" he whispers.

My eyes shoot open, at the sheer panic in his voice. "What is it?" I ask I look into his eyes and see nothing but blind panic and intense fear. He is staring at my breast which he still has in his hand.

"Christian, what is it?" I ask.

"I... I feel something" he whispers looking at me in horror.

I move my hand to where his is still resting and to where his eyes are now fixed, and I gently remove his hand so I can examine myself.

"Let me see" I say gently and he moves his hand slightly so I can look, his fearful gaze is still trained completely on my breast and I go cold as I feel a small lump. Christian moves suddenly as he sees my reaction. I look up and see him frantically rummaging amongst his clothes and I realise that he is searching for his phone. He is clearly freaking out about his discovery and to be fair so am I, but I am trying to stay visually calm to not escalate things further. I swallow hard trying to keep my panic under control as Christian punches a speed dial number and waits.

"Mom," he says anxiously.

"Christian no" I protest, but I am silenced by a harsh glare.

"Mom, I need the name of the best... the _very_ best... breast cancer specialist in the States... yes it's Ana, of course, it's Ana who else do you think I would be phoning about," he snaps then closes his eyes, "I'm sorry mom" he mutters, "Dr King, right thank you... where is he based?... really?... oh well that's good... do you have his direct line?... thank you... I will do, bye mom."

He hangs up and waits a moment later I hear a text arrive, he opens it and then dials a number, "I need to speak to Dr Gareth King, now" he says pacing around the room. "My name is Christian Grey".

I watch as he is immediately put through to Dr King, I am fixed on the name Gareth King thinking that name vaguely rings a bell, but I can't think where from, so I dismiss it and listen to Christian who is throwing his weight about and making demands.

"Dr King?... Good morning, I am Christian Grey, I need to you to see my wife today... no not good enough, today... listen to me this is not difficult I need you to see my wife today and I will pay whatever it costs for you to do so, I… we... she has discovered a small lump on her..." he glances at me "right breast" he pauses listening.

"Right, Yes... thank you, her name is Anastasia Grey, that's fine we will be there" he hangs up.

I watch as he takes a deep breath closing his eyes briefly, and I know that he is trying to get his panic and fear under control. Eventually, he opens them and looks at me, he even manages a weak smile.

"Come on baby," he says quietly holding his hand out to me and I see it is trembling. He leads me to our old bedroom and into the bathroom and puts the shower on. There are still some things which we left at Escala for the times we came here, for which I am thankful. I notice Christian is still holding his phone and watch silently as he makes another call.

"Andrea, something important has come up, cancel my appointments today, I won't be in at all... that can wait... give that to Ros to handle she knows what to do... that can wait, thanks, Andrea, I'll phone you tonight to let you know about tomorrow as I may not be in then either".

I watch as he hangs up and dials again.

"Hannah, Christian Grey here, Ana won't be in today, and possibly not again for the rest of the week, can you cancel any appointments for today and either myself or Ana will contact you tonight to brief you and update you, thank you Hannah goodbye". He hangs up stares at me for a moment and then dials again.

"Taylor, I need you to come over to Escala with a complete set of clean clothes for Mrs Grey and myself, and I also need you to prepare an overnight bag for Mrs Grey, and bring Sawyer with you as I will need one of you to drive the R8 back."

He hangs up and throws his phone down on to the chair. Then he takes my hand and he climbs into the shower and pulls me in beside me and he gently washes me, but it isn't lost on me that he gives my right breast more attention than the rest of my body, he gazes into my eyes and the look of anguish and fear in them tears me apart. I wrap my arms around him and we stand under the cascading water just holding each other trying to give each other strength.

Since Taylor arrived and we left Escala things have been a complete blur of activity, I am sitting in the hospital and Christian is beside me gripping my hand and radiating anxiety and tension, he hasn't let go of me once since his discovery, he has constantly been in direct physical contact with me.

We are waiting for Dr King to join us, and the door opens and I jump violently at the noise, I relax when I see Grace poke her head around it and she walks towards me and pulls me into her arms and I feel Christian reluctantly let me go. I go willingly and for the first since Christian's discovery, relax a little. Grace's gentle manner seems to have a calming effect on Christian too as she puts her hand on his shoulder. She murmurs something in his ear which I don't catch and then she leaves. As soon as I sit down Christian reaches for me once more and grasps my hand tightly, pulling it to his mouth where he deposits a small sweet kiss on my knuckles.

"What did she say?" I ask.

"She told me to try to not worry," he says.

At that moment the door opens and Dr King enters, I look at him and there is a faint feeling of familiarity as I look at him but I can't place where from. I smile weakly and shake his hand I watch as he turns to Christian and shakes his hand.

Dr King is looking at the mammogram pictures of my breast which have been taken, they clearly show a small mass amongst the breast tissue and I go cold as I look at it. I squeeze Christians hand and he immediately wraps his arm around me, and places a small kiss in my hair.

I am not listening to a word the doctor is saying so I am hoping Christian is paying attention. I seem to have shut down completely, the fear I am feeling is unbelievable, it's consuming me, I don't want to die, not yet, I want to see my children, grow up, marry and have children, this can't be happening to me.

I am dragged back to the here and now as I am asked to sign a consent form, I look at the clipboard that has been pushed towards me and then I look at Christian blankly.

"It's for the biopsy baby" Christian explains gently, "you have to sign it so we can get that thing out of you."

I silently pick up a pen and sign my name.

I vaguely hear that I am scheduled for surgery for the next day and that surprises me, but then I realise that I shouldn't be surprised or shocked at the speed things are moving. I knew Christian would throw his weight and his money around to get what he wants and get it done quickly. I have to say that although it does still bother me at times the way Christian's wealth opens doors that would otherwise remain closed, on this occasion I am glad he is getting things done quickly and I am grateful for his forceful reputation.

**oooOOOooo**

After a truly terrible night where I didn't get a wink of sleep and spent most of the night pacing around our bedroom, the next day I am taken straight up to a private room in the hospital. I look inside the small suitcase that Taylor packed for me.

Christian hasn't left my side once. I take a good look at him; he looks dreadful, he has a haunted look in his eyes and he spent the night awake and pacing with me and trying to offer what comfort he could, and I know for a fact that he is terrified and all he can see at this moment is his world falling apart and that he can do nothing to prevent it. He feels out of control and lost, I know all this because I know him so well; but to his credit he is also hiding it well and nobody else would guess how he was really feeling because to the casual observer he is being a tower of strength and supportive husband doing what it takes to get me through this ordeal. I have tried to put a brave face on, tried to pretend I can deal with this but inside I am in turmoil.

I feel my resolve slipping and my lip starts to tremble.

Immediately Christian pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly, "Don't baby, please don't cry" he moans, "Where's my brave, strong Ana?" he adds and he presses a kiss to my head.

"She's not here right now" I reply as I cling to him.

The door opens and a nurse bustles in, and gives me a sympathetic smile, "Hello I'm Rose I'm going to be your nurse Mrs Grey, so if you need anything just let me know. Ok then, the surgery has been set for 4 pm this afternoon". I nod showing my understanding and vaguely wonder once again if everyone gets seen this quickly or whether it is because my husband is Christian Grey and he has paid handsomely for the privilege.

The day is dragging and my mind wanders to my children. I am sitting in the chair at the side of the bed and Christian is sitting beside me still holding my hand, neither of us wants to talk so there is just a companionable silence between us. Suddenly, that silence is broken as the door opens and Dr King walks in and smiles, he is holding a pen in his hand he asks me to open my robe and as I do so he marks an arrow on my right breast. I feel Christian stiffen at the side of me, I look at him and he is glaring at the doctor but says nothing. I quickly cover myself up, as the doctor goes to leave, he pauses and looks back at me.

"Excuse me Mrs Grey, but were you Anastasia Steele before you married?" He asks.

"Yes," I reply, trying to ignore the fact Christian is getting tenser by the second.

He smiles warmly, "I thought it was you, you don't remember me do you?"

I shake my head, "No I'm sorry, I don't" I say.

I am now wracking my brain wondering who this man is, the name was familiar as was his face when I saw him, but I can't think where I know him from and now I am wondering how he knows me.

"Tomlinson High School, Texas, I was Bradley's best friend back then, you didn't live in Texas for long and we only talked briefly so it's understandable that you may not remember me," he explains.

My mouth drops open as I remember and recognition dawns on me, "Gaz, Gaz King" I splutter.

"The very same," he says smiling down at me.

"Oh my god, I don't believe it, what are the chances? Christian, I went to school with this guy."

"So I hear," Christian says stiffly.

Dr King seems oblivious to the fact my husband is getting more and more uptight by the second. He sits down on the edge of the bed; As he does this Christian possessively wraps his arm around me.

"So, how long have you been in Seattle?" I ask politely.

He sighs as he quickly counts the years, "about eight years now," he says eventually.

"What about you, you left Texas quite suddenly and moved away as I recall? he asks.

I nod, "yes, I left Texas and went to live with my dad in Montesano," I say.

"And how did you two meet?" he asks, gesturing between myself and Christian. I feel Christian stiffen even more and I give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

I laugh, "It was fate, that's what I like to think anyway," I say as I give Christian a scorching look, as he sees it I feel him relax slightly.

"After I graduated High School I went to WSU, to study English Literature, my best friend and roommate, ran the University newspaper and she had managed to get an interview with Christian for the graduation edition as he was due to be the special guest at our graduation ceremony and confer the degrees. But on the day of the interview, my friend was sick, but naturally she didn't want to blow off the coup of getting an interview with Christian, so as she was unable to do it she prepared a list of questions and asked me to go to Seattle in her place. I agreed and as they say the rest is history". I look up into Christians face and smile as I squeeze his hand.

Christian smiles down at me but the smile doesn't reach his eyes he is too anxious and now on alert because he believes I have some sort of history with this guy.

Dr King smiles "A true life Cinderella and prince charming story!" he says.

I nod "yes I suppose it was," I lift Christians hand and press a small kiss to it, before continuing, "He pursued me, and it didn't take long for me to realise that I wanted to be caught, and I very quickly fell in love with him and I still love him as much now as I did back then, if not more" I say squeezing Christian's hand again.

Dr King looks at Christian, "You are a very lucky man."

"That I am," Christian replies.

"What about you?" I ask.

Dr King shrugs, "I graduated from High school and went to college to study medicine, and here I am" he says "I've led a boring life really, I am married and I have a son – Daniel, when I got married Brad was my best man, but I've not seen him in about 7 or 8 years, the last I heard he'd gone back to Texas".

I nod. Dr Kings stands suddenly.

"Anyway, I guess I'd better be getting on, your surgery is scheduled for 4 pm so I'll be seeing you then". He smiles warmly at me, and holds his hand out to Christian who shakes it stiffly.

"Don't worry Mr Grey," he says "I will take good care of your wife" and with that, he turns and leaves.

**oooOOOooo**

I am feeling groggy and thirsty, I open my eyes and Christian is sitting beside me staring at me, his face the colour of chalk. He is gripping my hand so tightly it almost hurts. I smile weakly at him.

"Hi" I whisper.

"Hi" he replies, and in a second he has leant across and gently wrapped his arm around me and placed an oh so tender kiss on my lips.

"How are you feeling?" he asks searching my eyes.

"A little sore" I reply honestly.

Christian reaches across and presses a button almost immediately there is a knock at the door and Nurse Rose enters the room, she smiles brightly at me, Dr King will be along shortly Mrs Grey, can I get you some water?

I nod, "Please" I reply hoarsely.

As Nurse Rose disappears, the door opens again and Dr King strides in he smiles at me.

"The surgery was a complete success, the mass has been removed it was concentrated to a specific area and so we are confident that all of it has been removed it has been taken away for testing, and we will know what it was and what we are facing by the end of tomorrow".

Christian smiles and squeezes my hand.

"Thank you, Dr King," he says I can still hear something in his voice which tells me he is still not totally happy. 

Dr King leaves the room, and I turn and look at Christian with my eyebrows raised.

"What?" he asks, gazing steadily back at me.

A surge of anger flows through me, I know he is afraid, but his irrational jealousy is not something I can cope with right now.

"When will you stop being so irrationally possessive and practically frothing at the mouth with your rabid jealousy every time another man so much as looks at me? How many years have we been married, Christian? How many times have I told you that I love you and only you? How many children have I given you? Please, stop behaving like a Neanderthal" I snap and then regretting my outburst I sigh deeply. "I really don't need your insecurity right now" I add in a slightly softer tone.

Christian sags with remorse, "I'm sorry baby, I was so worried I thought I was going to lose you, I was... scared."

"So was I Christian, and I was trying to deal with it, having you behave like a jealous adolescent doesn't help the situation, you haven't reacted like this for years, I thought you had sorted out all your irrational jealousy issues" I stop and sigh.

"Christian," I say firmly and I touch his face, I hold his chin and look him in the eye, "we have been married for 13 years, I love you and I am never going to leave you. I have no interest, whatsoever in any other man – so, please, for both our sakes, just get over it!"

He moves to sit beside me and pulls me gently into his arms, "I'm so sorry baby" he says quietly, "you are right, of course, I shouldn't have been so selfish, you don't need me behaving like this."

I look into his face and sigh, there is something else going on in his head, I just know it, "Talk to me Christian, as I have just said you haven't overreacted like this for years, so what's eating you?"

He sighs and lowers his head, "I saw the way he looked at you; his manner to my mind it wasn't entirely professional, that and the fact it turns out you know him from when you were a child, and then there were the emotions from the reason why we are here and it all became too much and all the old fears and insecurity just came flooding back."

He looks so vulnerable that my heart melts and I hold him to me. "What am I going to do with you?" I sigh.

"I was 15 when I knew Gaz King, he was the friend of the boy I made out with once, the extent of my acquaintance with him was saying hello to him as I passed him the corridor at school, he meant nothing to me then and he certainly means nothing to me now, I didn't even remember him until he pointed out who he was," I say.

I see Christian consider this and he smiles at me and I see the moment he lets it go as the tension disappears and the smile reaches his eyes.

"He means nothing to me Christian, apart from the fact he is hopefully going to make me well," I add reiterating my point then I stop speaking.

I want to change the subject I have made my point and it appears Christian has finally accepted that, so I reach in my bag and fish out my phone, I dial a number as Christian sits watching me in silence.

"Hi Gail, how is everyone?" I ask.

Gail is pleased to hear from me, everyone is good which is a huge relief and she is pleased that the surgery went well. I ask to speak to Sawyer, and moments later he is on the telephone. I have a desperate need to see my children, and so I ask him if he will bring them to me.

About 25 minutes later the door opens and Sawyer enters closely followed by Theo and Phoebe, Theo gives me a hug and Phoebe sits on the end of the bed just staring at me, I brace myself as the hurricane which is Isobel and Alex hurtle towards us.

"Careful with Mommy!" Christian snaps holding up his hand in warning and they both stop dead. Christian lifts Alex on to the bed and Isobel clambers on to his lap. This is what I needed to lift my mood; Sawyer is standing in the corner of the room.

"Do you need anything else Mrs Grey?" he asks after a moment.

I smile and shake my head, "No thank you, Luke and thank you for bringing my children to me" I say gratefully.

"No problem Mrs Grey, I'll wait outside then" he replies and leaves the room.

As he leaves someone else enters, Nurse Rose walks in and looks surprised at the room full of people.

"Whoa," she says glancing around.

I laugh "these are my children, I really needed to see them" I say and I gesture to each one in turn "Theo my eldest son, Phoebe my eldest daughter" I point to Isobel sitting curled up on Christians lap, "That is Isobel, and this is Alexander," I say looking down at my youngest son who is at this moment trying to get Theo in a headlock.

"Alex, behave," I say sharply, he lets go immediately and sits looking sheepishly at Theo.

She smiles at them all, "I'm just checking to see if you need anything before my shift ends?" she asks.

I shake my head, "No thank you" I reply.

She smiles at me "Well if you need anything my colleague Josie is doing the night shift and she will be in soon to do your observations and to introduce herself, ok?" I nod and with that, she leaves.

I sit and listen to my children as they all tell me about their day and I reassure them that I will be home soon. Eventually Christian glances at his watch, "I think its time to get everyone home" he says.

"Are you coming home, dad?" Phoebe asks.

I look at her she looks worried, Christian glances at me clearly torn and I nod at him. He sighs and I know he doesn't want to leave me, but our children need him as well.

"For a while," he says.

Isobel has fallen asleep on Christians lap and he wraps his arm around her and rises with ease, carrying the sleeping child in his arms. Alex flings his arms around me and kisses me loudly on the cheek, "Get well soon mommy" he says and then he slides off the bed.

Theo wanders over and kisses my cheek, "Are you going to be ok mom?" he asks, I can see the worry on his face as well and I grip his hand in mine.

"Of course I am, don't worry about me; I'll be home before you know it!"

He smiles weakly and then wraps his arms around me, "Goodnight mom!" he says.

"Goodnight Theo," I say. I watch as Theo grabs Alex's hand and follows Christian out of the room.

Phoebe hovers unwilling to leave, Christian diplomatically leaves the room leaving me and Phoebe alone.

"What's wrong darling?" I ask, reaching for her hand.

"Why are you in hospital mom? Are you going to die?" she asks fear in her eyes.

"Phoebe!" I exclaim, "Whatever made you say that?"

She looks uncomfortable and a little guilty, "I overheard Mrs Taylor talking to Grandma Grace, she came to sit with us, it was like when Matthew died" she stops.

I pull her into my arms, "Phoebe listen to me, its nothing like when Matthew died" I pause wondering what to say.

"Phoebe, do you remember when your friend Sarah told you her mom went into hospital, and why?"

Phoebe nodded, "Her mom had cancer, but she's alright now."

I nod and look seriously at Phoebe, realisation dawns on Phoebe's face and tears well up in her eyes.

"Shush darling, and please don't cry, we don't even know for sure yet that is what it is and that's why I am here to find out and we will find out very soon."

Phoebe flings her arms around me, "Oh mommy" she sobs, I run my hand up and down her back rocking her. Pulling her away from me I hold her arms and look at her.

"Phoebe, listen to me now don't worry about this" I am regretting letting her know why I am here, but something inside tells me it was the right thing to do. "Phoebe, I want you to go home and get a good nights sleep, go to school and be a good girl for me, if you want to know anything talk to your dad or Grandma Grace and they will tell you the truth, but don't listen to conversations not meant for you anymore as you might hear something which you don't understand or you misunderstand, ok?" I look at her.

"Yes ok Mom!" she says and hugs me again, "Goodnight," she says as she climbs off the bed.

"Goodnight sweetheart, can you just ask your dad to come in as I want to say goodnight to him as well?"

"Sure" she says.

Christian returns a few moments later looking at me expectantly.

"Are the children safe?" I ask

Christian nods "Sawyer took them" he says as he sits down beside me.

I take a deep breath, "Phoebe knows why I am here" I raise my hand to silence him as he goes to open his mouth, "it was the right thing to do Christian, she overheard Grace and Gail talking and her mind was in overdrive, so I have told her the facts and she knows about it, she understands because she has a friend who's mom has been through Cancer and survived, and I made it clear that we don't even know yet if it is that yet and that it might not be" I pause, "I think she will want to talk to you about it, so just be there for her and don't try and fob her off ok?"

He sighs and nods and after giving me a loving kiss he rises to his feet, "I won't be long," he says as he leaves the room.

I glance at the clock, its nearly 10 pm and I am feeling shattered, I gingerly slide down under the covers and close my eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

I open my eyes with a pressing urge to pee, the first thing I notice is that sunlight is streaming in through the window, then I glance to my left and see Christian sleeping in the chair beside me. I sigh and shake my head. I should have known better than to think he wouldn't come back and spend the night here.

Easing out of bed I make my way to the bathroom and when I return Christian is still fast asleep, so I quickly get dressed, wincing as I move my right arm and feel the pull of the incision from the biopsy. I try and ignore it, as I really don't want to stay here any longer than I have to. The door opens and Nurse Rose walks in beaming at me, she glances at Christian slumped in the chair and gives me a sympathetic look.

"Good morning Mrs Grey" she whispers, "How are you feeling?"

"I feel good, thank you, and eager to go home" I reply, looking hopefully at her.

She smiles, "Well let me go and check with Dr King, but I don't see any reason why you shouldn't go home," she says.

As she leaves the room, Christian stirs, he looks up at me and smiles and easing himself out of the chair he stretches and yawns.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asks looking at me with his eyebrows raised.

"Planning my escape!" I say with a grin.

He laughs, "I have to say I don't really want to be here any longer than I have to be" he steps closer to me and pulls me into his arms, just at that moment the door opens and in strides Dr King, he stills as he sees Christian, and I notice an almost disappointed look on his face which he quickly hides and he recovers quickly smiling at me. I wonder if Christian was correct and it wasn't just his insecurity making a mountain out of a molehill.

Christian keeps his arms around me, and deliberately kisses me on the lips, I know he is doing it on purpose, and he knows that I saw Dr King's momentary reaction and that I know what he is doing.

"Mrs Grey" Dr King smiles, "Well you are free to go, we should have the biopsy report back this afternoon, so I have made an appointment for you to come in at 4 pm and so I will see you then."

"Thank you" I reply and shake his hand, I am a little unnerved by how his hand lingers on mine, now that Christian has pointed it out I am noticing odd things which don't appear to be quite right. He offers his hand to Christian who shakes it and he offers his thanks. Dr King dismisses it with a wave and then he leaves the room.

"Come on then baby, let's go home" Christian says with obvious relief and happiness.

As we are leaving the hospital, I look at Christian, "Thank you" I say.

"For what?" he asks. He looks genuinely confused as to why I am thanking him and I let out a small laugh and I shake my head as I grip his hand tightly.

"I'm not naive, I know things don't usually happen this quickly and it is only because of you that it has, I still feel uncomfortable when you use your wealth and your name to get special treatment and get things done quickly but on this occasion, I am grateful you did."

He pulls me close "Ana I would move mountains and stop the world spinning for you if I could, but I can't do that; so making sure you got the best treatment available and as quickly as humanly possible will just have to do!" He smiles at me and plants a small kiss on my forehead.

When we arrive home the house is quiet, the children are at school, and Gail is out, Taylor appears as I throw myself on to the sofa.

"Mrs Grey how are you?" he asks.

"Hi Taylor, I'm good thanks" I reply with a smile.

He nods but hovers as though he wants to say something else.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"Mrs Grey, I..." he stops, he sees Christian walking in and he swallows whatever it was he was about to say, then he simply nods and then turns and briskly walks from the room, I am confused and wonder what that was all about.

Christian walks over to me holding his hand out to me; I stand and take it, "Where are we going?" I ask.

"Out for breakfast, you were so keen to get out of the hospital this morning you didn't have anything to eat and I am going to remedy that now".

He leads me to the door and out to the R8 which we have only just recently stepped out of. He helps me fussing around me as I climb in and then when he is satisfied I am comfortable he climbs in and we roar off down the driveway.

"What's up with Taylor?" I ask as we are driving along.

"Nothing, as far as I know, why do you ask?" Christian glances at me and frowns at my question.

"I don't know, he seemed to want to tell me something and then changed his mind, it was weird it wasn't like him, he was acting... odd."

Christian looks unconcerned "I'll speak to him when we get back," he says.

We pull up outside IHOP, and I smile as this place has a number of good memories, including the very first time Christian brought me to one of these places after he had taken me soaring for the first time, shortly after we met. As we sit tucking into some delicious pancakes and I have been amused by the waitress who cannot take her eyes off Christian and is desperately trying to get him to notice her, I suddenly feel afraid. I have tried to block out the worst case scenario in my mind and up to now it has worked but thinking back to when Christian and I first met and how far we have come over the years it has made what could be happening now suddenly hit me with the force of a wrecking ball and the negativity consumes me of what _could _happen next.

I look up at Christian and as our eyes meet the tears start to fall from mine. I drop my fork on my plate with a clatter as I feel myself starting to lose control. Christian immediately stands and reaches into his pocket and leaves some money on the table, and after gesturing to the startled waitress he wraps his arm around me and leads me outside.

"Come on baby, I've got you, let's go home," he says softly.

I sob quietly all the way home as we drive in silence. When we get home Christian carries me inside and sits gently cradling me in his lap, he doesn't say a word to me, just lets me sob until I can sob no more.

This has to be the longest day of my life. Christian is watching me like a hawk, he follows me around all day, trying to make it look like he's not, I get more and more exasperated as the day goes on, and mixed with the dread and fear I am feeling in the pit of my stomach I am almost ready to explode. In the end, I go to our room and lock the door behind me and throw myself on the bed. I can hear Christian pacing around outside, but I just want a few minutes to myself.

When I feel ready to face Christian and the world again, I go to the door and unlock it, he is standing and leaning against the wall as I open the door he looks up into my eyes, I walk into his arms and he just holds me without saying a word.

I hear the children coming home and my heart lifts a little, I break away from Christian and run downstairs towards the noise. Standing in the lounge are Theo and Phoebe, arguing about something, and as I walk towards them they stop and both run to me.

"Mom" Phoebe cries as she flings her arms around me which makes me wince a little.

Theo beams at me, "Where's dad?" he asks.

"Upstairs" I reply and he runs upstairs calling for Christian.

I turn to Phoebe, I look at her carefully, I have been worrying about my decision to tell her what was going on, ever since I did it but deep down I still feel I did the right thing even though the doubts still linger.

She looks up at me her eyes shining, I can tell that she is bursting to tell me something, "Mom, you will never guess what has happened?"

I sit and she sits beside me "What's happened?" I ask.

"Mr Kennedy my art teacher took some of my drawings and entered them into some competition and I won!"

"Oh Phoebe that's wonderful, well done you" I hug her tightly.

She grins at me. "That's not all they are going to be shown in an exhibition, Mr Kennedy said I was the youngest person to have ever won this contest, and at the exhibition, some people could buy my drawings."

Christian comes towards me, I glance at my watch and my mood plummets its time to go to the hospital but I am determined not to break this moment.

"Christian, Phoebe has some fantastic news"

Phoebe proceeds to tell Christian about her art and he smiles widely at her and hugs her tightly, "Well done Phoebe" he says with such pride in his voice it is thick with emotion.

Phoebe looks up at him "Will you come to the exhibition and see my drawings dad?" she asks.

Christian pulls her back towards him, "Of course I will" he says. He glances towards me and I smile widely at him; but now the moment has to be broken.

Christian pulls Phoebe away from him "Pheebs" he says, Phoebe looks up in surprise, only Theo calls her that normally, "Listen to me sweetheart, your mom and I have to go now, as we have an appointment at the hospital, we have an appointment with Dr King for your mothers results, but when we get back I promise you I will talk to you about the exhibition ok."

Phoebe nods and then looks at me and turns to me and hugs me tightly, "Good luck mom" she says, understanding immediately.

"Thank you, darling," I say.

Christian bends down to Phoebe, "Mrs Taylor is in the kitchen ok, Alex and Izzy will be home shortly with Ryan, Theo is upstairs, and Grandma Grace is on her way, and we will be as quick as we can."

Phoebe nods and as Christian rises Grace appears, she walks briskly towards Christian and plants a small kiss on his cheek.

"Hello darling," she says to him and then she turns to me.

I stand and she hugs me tightly and plants a small soft kiss on my cheek, but doesn't say a word. I look up at her and I can see tears in her eyes, I panic wondering if she knows the results.

"Do you know?" I ask in a small voice.

Grace looks shocked and shakes her head adamantly. "No dear, I don't, but I am hoping and praying for the best possible outcome", she hugs me again.

"Ok we're going then, let's get this over with," I say with forced bravado.

I smile at Phoebe and grasp Christian's hand, I shout upstairs to Theo and he answers but doesn't appear.

I turn and look back at Grace and she holds her hand up she has her fingers crossed and smiles at me.

"Come on baby" Christian whispers to me, just as we are leaving, Taylor appears from nowhere.

"Mrs Grey" he calls.

I turn and look at him, "Good luck Mrs Grey" he says and then turns away.

"Thank you, Taylor" I reply as I climb into the car.

"What was that about?" I ask Christian as we are driving to the hospital.

Christian sighs, and then hesitates, whatever he knows, he doesn't want to tell me, "I spoke to Taylor earlier after what you said" he pauses, "it seems Taylor's mother died of breast cancer, and this whole situation has struck more than a few nerves."

"Oh, I see," I say lamely.

A heavy silence descends on us for the rest of the journey.

We are sitting in Dr King's office, as he arrives, I grip Christian's hand tightly, this is it, I am willing myself not to cry. I glance at Christian and I can feel the anxiety coming from him in waves, I want this over with and over with quickly so I can work out what to do next. As Dr King enters the room with some papers in his hand I try and gauge what the answer is by his demeanour, but I find it impossible to get any clue.

He sits and smiles at us. "Well, Mrs Grey," he says "I have some excellent news, the mass we found in your breast was benign – there no trace of cancer." He carries on and says more stuff I think he is describing what the mass was but I don't hear it as I stopped listening after the word benign.

I feel and see Christian sag with relief, I am buzzing with elation, but I need to hear that it wasn't cancer once more.

"Just say that again," I ask staring at Dr King.

He laughs, "Benign Mrs Grey, you don't have breast cancer".

I stand and fling my arms around him he laughs loudly and hugs me back, "Thank you" I say gratefully. I feel Christian pulling me gently away; I turn and fall into his arms the tears I was desperate to hide, falling down my cheeks.

"Oh Christian!" I sob as I cling to him and before I think too closely about what I am doing I pull back slightly and then pull his head towards me and kiss him passionately on the lips, he responds briefly but then gently eases me away from him.

"Come on baby lets go home," he says in my ear, he turns to Dr King and shakes his hand "Thank you, for everything," he says sincerely.

I walk out the door, and immediately call Gail, "Hi Gail, I say when she answers, "Its all clear" I blurt out.

"Mrs Grey that's wonderful news I am so pleased, I will tell Jason, oh that must be such a relief for you both."

I smile "yes it is" I reply "Thank you Gail; we will be with you shortly."

I hang up and look at Christian who is talking to his mother he hesitates a moment as he sees me looking.

"Got to go mom, we will be home shortly, bye" he hangs up and he wraps me in his arms and smothers my face in kisses. I lift my head up to his and he kisses me soundly on my lips deeply and reverently to start with but the heat starts to rise and it soon develops into something more carnal.

This time I pull away from him "let's get home" I whisper.

"Home or home?" he replies with a smouldering look.

"Home," I say, "You promised to talk with Phoebe about her exhibition, and I don't know about you but I'm starving."

With that Christian frog marches me to the car and we head home.

I am feeling dizzy with relief, I look around the table as we are eating and I drink in my family, my gaze falls on Phoebe who is talking animatedly to Christian about her upcoming exhibition, I smile with unconcealed pride, 10 years old and displaying work in an art exhibition, it hardly seems believable, but she is extraordinarily talented. I am hoping this will improve her self-esteem and make the progress she has made so far more secure.

I look at Theo, so tall for his age he looks and acts much older than his 12 years, so driven and focussed on success, in everything he does, he frightens me sometimes. I look towards my two younger children, Isobel, who is as always focused on Christian, I smile she is hard to fathom, she loves everyone and has such a sweet nature and she is incredibly close to Alex, watching over him and protecting him, but Izzy also has a vicious temper when provoked as I have seen her holding her own with both Phoebe and Theo when things have gone wrong.

Then there is Alex, I am trying so hard to break that invisible cord between us but it's proving to be difficult, he is a typical six-year-old little boy, a bundle of fun and energy, keeping everyone on their toes. He has developed a relationship with Sawyer which is charming to watch and he can often be found kicking a ball around with him.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Taylor who coughs discreetly in the doorway; Christian looks towards him.

"Yes," he says.

"Mrs Grey is here," Taylor says, and there is a hint of wariness in his tone.

"My mother is here?" Christian asks in confusion.

Taylor shakes his head, "No Sir, Kate Grey" he says.

Kate is here? Christian looks at me, I stand and we both walk into the lounge where she is standing there looking less than happy, she has her hands on her hips and she is glaring at me with open hostility.

"Kate?" I ask.

"Don't you Kate me" she snaps "When exactly were you going to tell me, I had to hear it from Grace."

I walk towards her, understanding immediately why she is so angry, "Please Kate" I say.

"I'm supposed to be your closest friend and you neglect to tell me when you are going through something so..." she stops as her voice cracks and she grabs my arm and pulls me into a fierce hug, making me wince again.

"Careful Kate, Ana is still recovering from surgery" Christian barks.

Kate's grip on me loosens slightly at that and seems to calm her a little.

"I'm sorry," I say "It's just things happened so quickly, Christian took care of everything and got me seen and sorted before I could draw breath, there wasn't the time frame to let you know."

She sighs, "I was gutted when Grace told me," she says.

"Grace only knew because Christian called her to get the name of the breast cancer specialist at the hospital" I explain.

Kate pulls me away from her and looks hard at me, I see the worry and fear in her eyes along with the fact they are glittering with unshed tears.

"But you are ok?" she asks seriously.

I nod and smile at her, "Yes, all clear it was totally benign" I say "and saw an old acquaintance from my school days" I add.

Kate's eyebrows raise "Oh?" she says clearly interested.

I turn and see Christian roll his eyes and he walks away and leaves us to it.

I lead Kate to the sofa and we sit down and I proceed to explain about Dr King and how I knew him and I also tell her about Christians overreaction.

"He hasn't overreacted like that for years," she says with a frown, "the worry must have got to him" she adds.

Kate and I sit and I tell her the whole story from beginning to end, and she sits and listens when I have finished I apologise once more for not telling her but she seems to understand now that it wasn't done maliciously.

"Being loved by and married to one of the richest businessmen in the States definitely has its perks," she says "and I am glad that this was one of them" she adds kindly. "Listen, I'm sorry I was so mad, but I was just so worried when Grace told me, I didn't know what to think and the fact you hadn't said anything, but now you've explained it all I can see why."

I shake my head and tell her it's fine. She looks closely at me as though she is assessing me.

"I've got to go now, but we deserve a girl's night out... soon!" Kate's says as she rises to her feet.

"Yes, I'd like that" I say, it's been so long since I went out with Kate and just let my hair down.

I watch Kate go, and turn to return to my family, Taylor is standing there.

"Hi Taylor," I say.

"Mrs Grey, I just wanted to say, how pleased I was to hear you got the all clear," he says before I can stop myself I hug him tightly.

"Thank you, Jason," I say.

I pull away and look at him, he looks embarrassed and I smile at him.

"Excuse me, ma'am," he says and hurries away.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting at work, going through everything that needs to be done; I am so pleased I have such a good team around me so that when I am absent things continue smoothly. I had clashed with Christian that morning as he wanted me to take more time off but I needed to work and I really wanted to go in to take my mind off everything that has happened, I just want to get back to normality.

The day zips past and I glance up and am shocked to see it is 5:45 I hurriedly finish what I am doing and turn off my computer. As I am climbing into the car my phone buzzes.

It's Christian and I smile as I answer it "Hi" I say warmly.

"Hi, where are you?" he says and I frown as he sounds anxious and stressed.

"I'm on my way home now," I say gently trying to soothe things, "I got caught up in the office and I lost track of time, that's all, I'm fine" I add.

"Ok," he says, he sounds relieved now but I am concerned, he should know where I am because Luke is with me and all he would need to do is ask Taylor if he was worried.

"Christian what's wrong?" I ask a sense of foreboding sweeping over me.

"Nothing baby" he replies "its just you weren't here when I got home and I was worried," he says a little sheepishly.

"I'll be home soon," I say.

I hang up and gaze out of the window as Sawyer drives me home. This whole episode has affected Christian much more than he is willing to admit. His deep-seated pathological fear of losing me became a very real possibility for him albeit for just a short amount of time and it has unearthed all his deepest fears, worries and insecurities and they are once again controlling him like they were when we first met, instead of him controlling them as he has learnt and managed to do for a number of years.

When I get home, I find Christian in his office pouring over spreadsheets, I hover in the doorway, and he glances up and he smiles when he sees me.

I walk towards him and he comes towards me and kisses me, he places his hand on my behind and pulls me close to him I am surprised at the intensity of his passion, I pull away from him and shut the door and lock it. I walk into his arms and I feel just how aroused he is.

"Hmm you are pleased to see me," I say playfully.

"Oh yes, always," he says and walks me towards his desk, with one swift hand movement the papers are shoved aside and he lies me down on his desk, and pulls me towards him. He lowers himself on top of me and covers my mouth with his, moments later my panties are in tatters on the ground and he is unzipping his fly and pushing his trousers down roughly. He touches me and pushes a single finger inside me and moans.

"Oh god, always so wet and ready for me," he says, and without any further preamble, he removes his finger and reaches between us he grasps himself and after running the head of his penis along my opening he thrusts his hips forward, I gasp as I feel him enter me, filling me completely.

"Ok baby?" he asks hoarsely.

I nod, and reach around and pull him closer and I wrap my legs around his waist.

He smiles and moans again and then he starts to move, he is not being gentle, he is thrusting as though he is trying to climb inside me and I know why, he is still locked in his head with his fear, but I don't say anything I just meet his frenzied thrusts and feel the pleasure I am receiving as the passion consumes us both.


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

We are both breathless as Christian pulls me up from his desk and then we both sink to the ground. He pulls me close and wraps his arms tightly around me, and he buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply.

I place my hand on top of his and pat it, "Ok, do you want to tell me what all that was about?" I ask gently.

There is silence for a few moments and then I hear him sigh, "Did I hurt you?" he asks, he is avoiding my question so he knows the way he has just behaved wasn't usual for him.

"No," I say, wanting to reassure him, "You know I like it when you are rough, but that wasn't your usual behaviour, added to that there was also your near meltdown when I was late coming home when you could easily have just asked Taylor where I was... So what's going on Christian?" I ask again, as I will him to start talking.

The silence spreads out between us once more.

"Talk to me Christian" I urge after a moment.

"I felt out of control, I found a fucking lump in your breast Ana, and for a while, I honestly thought you were going to die, you were going to die and there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about it" I feel him grip me tighter as he says this.

"But I'm not, the lump was benign and everything is alright," I say, trying not to sound as though I am stating the obvious, even though I am.

He grips me tighter and I feel him trembling slightly, he is really still very upset about all this. His actions are making me realise just how much turmoil he has been in for the past few days and is still in.

"I just can't get those thoughts out of my head Ana, that fear I felt, the desperate gut-wrenching fear of losing you because let's be clear here if you had died I may as well have died with you because my life would have been over," he says solemnly.

This makes me angry and I pull away and turn to face him.

"No Christian let's get one thing straight right now, your life wouldn't be over because you would have _had_ to carry on for the four children out there who would be depending on you to do so. So stop talking like that, yes you would have been devastated as would I if anything should – god forbid, ever happen to you, but you would have carried on because you are a good father and I would have expected you to carry on. BUT and this is really important Christian, all this is irrelevant because I am not dying, I do not have Cancer and I am not ill. So you need to get these thoughts out of your head and stop letting your fears of losing me consume you, go and talk to Flynn or something but you need to stop this Christian, you know I'm not going to leave you and you know that I love you and you now know nothing bad is going to happen to threaten that stability". I stop speaking and look at him carefully waiting for him to respond that.

When he doesn't say anything I sigh, "I know this has shaken you, I get it, I really do, and it scared me for a while, I didn't want to die and for a small time the dark thoughts that I might, nearly overwhelmed me but I fought them and now you need to fight yours," I say gently.

I continue to watch him carefully and I see the determination and resolve to do just that fill his face and I watch as the fear disappears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry baby," he says and he reaches for me.

I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly, "It's ok" I say.

As I say it I have a feeling that I know what the real issue here was, and I think Christian does as well even if he doesn't want to admit it, his mother died in front of him and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to prevent it and when there was the real chance I could have been sick and sick enough to die that feeling of helplessness and lack of control he must have felt knowing he couldn't do anything about it must have brought back all those carefully buried memories from his childhood, and which also accounts for the way he did everything humanly possible to get me seen and treated as quickly as he did.

**oooOOOooo**

_Two weeks later..._

"Right I'm going then!" I say brightly.

I am standing in the doorway to Christian's office and he glances up at me, anxiety written all over his face. 

I sigh, I know he gets uptight about me going out with Kate, but at least he doesn't overreact like he used to, we have an understanding now, I keep my phone switched on, Sawyer goes with us, I eat before I start drinking and I don't get drunk. I stick to those rules and he tolerates my evenings out. It's been so long though since I had one that I am desperate to let my hair down. I think Christian senses this and that is why his anxiety has tripled.

He has been talking regularly to John Flynn since my Cancer scare, he knew he had overreacted and was in danger of undoing all the hard work he put in over the years when he let his fears get the better of him.

"Ok have a good time," he says tightly.

I walk towards him and kiss the side of his mouth; he stands and deepens the kiss. "Behave yourself, remember you are a 34-year-old mother of 4" he growls grabbing my hair and pulling my head back so he can gain access to my neck.

"How could I forget?" I grin and pull out of his grip.

He watches me go, not taking his eyes off me.

As I climb into the car I look back and see him standing at the window he is illuminated by the light shining behind him in his office, and I blow him a kiss and wave at him. He raises his hand and gestures catching it, and then turns away.

I shake my head, I text Kate to say I am on my way, I am meeting her at a wine bar, we are having a drink there first before going for a meal and then probably hitting a few clubs. I have been looking forward to this all day, it will be fun just to kick back and relax with my best friend.

I walk into the wine bar and glance around for Kate, she hasn't arrived and I take a seat near the window, and Sawyer positions himself at a nearby table. I idly look around the bar and I do a double take at the woman sitting in the corner and who is staring right at me; I go cold, its the bitch troll herself, Elena 'Mrs Robinson' Lincoln.

I feel uncomfortable but that discomfort turns to horror as she rises from her seat and comes to join me, the last time I saw her in person was 13 years ago when she cornered me at Christian's birthday party and subsequently everything came out about her past 'relationship' with Christian. Then I spoke to her a few years ago when she called after seeing Elliot stone drunk in a bar after he and Kate had separated and alerted us to that. I don't want to speak to her now but she seems intent on wanting to talk to me so I steel myself as she hovers by the seat in front of me.

"May I sit down?" she asks quietly.

I glance at Sawyer who is now texting rapidly and then nod. Wondering why the hell I didn't just tell her to go and fuck herself.

"Thank you" she replies.

I look hard at her, the years have not been to her, but she must be in her late 50's early 60's now. I look closer and see she looks a lot thinner and a little gaunt from how I remember her and her skin has an odd look about it, she looks ill.

She sits down with effortless grace. The uncomfortable silence that follows is making me jittery, in the end, I have to say something so I get to the point quickly.

"What do you want Elena?" I say sharply.

"Ana, please, I know things are... difficult between us, and I know what you think of me, and believe me over the years I have come to accept that maybe some of what you think might be true, but I want to make my peace with you. I made my peace with Christian years ago when I stepped out of his life forever, and I owe you the same courtesy".

I sit unable to know what to say to this revelation. She continues, " I have been watching you two together discreetly over the years from a distance, and I accept now that you were indeed the best thing that ever happened to Christian, you made him happy, he is far happier now than ever he was before and you gave him what he needed and what he wanted, you made him complete".

My mouth drops open, as I am unable to articulate any words at all but she doesn't seem to notice, as she carries on.

"Ana, the simple fact is I was afraid you would come between us, between Christian and me, and so I behaved appallingly towards to you as a result of that fear but the only person who came between us, in the end, was me. I failed to see the depth of the feelings he had for you, and I tried to destroy what you had and for that I am truly sorry Ana".

"Why now?" I manage to say when she pauses.

"Because I am leaving soon" she says, "I wanted to talk to you before I went, to clear the air, make my peace with you, call it closure, I had wondered how I was going to do it as I know you wouldn't take any call from me or answer a request to see me, so when I saw you arrive here tonight I couldn't believe my luck, and I am thankful you have heard me out and glad I have managed to say what I wanted to say."

"Where are you going?" I ask.

She smiles a brittle smile and says simply "Who knows?"

I stare at her, realisation dawning on me, "You're ill!" I gasp.

She nods at me, "I'm dying Ana, I have cancer of the pancreas which is aggressive and has spread and it is inoperable, I have declined all treatment, as it will be pointless in the long run and I am not prepared to put off the inevitable".

For the first time ever I feel sorry for her, I reach across the table and grasp her hand, not quite believing that I am doing it. "I'm so sorry" I say.

She smiles at me, "You have no idea how gratifying that small gesture was Ana". She looks beyond me, "your friend has arrived, so I will leave you alone now, thank you for listening to me Ana, and I wish you and Christian the best of everything".

She stands, and as she does so I turn to look over my shoulder at Kate who is standing open-mouthed. I hold my finger up to her asking her wordlessly to wait, and she nods and she sits with Sawyer. I turn to Elena and before I can think too deeply about it I hug her.

"Take care of yourself, Elena," I say and pull away swiftly.

I see the surprise on her face and she shakes her head and pulls herself up straight and takes a deep sigh.

"You too Ana," she says touching my arm, she bends and picks up her small clutch bag, nods at Sawyer and Kate and goes to leave.

"Wait," I say turning towards her.

She looks at me questioningly.

"Does Christian know?" I ask.

She shakes her head, "No he doesn't, I thought about telling him when I called to tell him about his brother that evening, but when he arrived at the bar he was with his father and... well, Carrick thinks about as much of me as you do, and so I didn't want to cause a scene, so I slipped away before they came in, as far as Christian knew I had already left".

I nod and ask "Do you want him to know?"

She smiles at me, "I honestly don't mind Ana, I will leave that for you to decide, I already have my closure with Christian and that time in my life and I just wanted to put things right with you, and I have done that now, I am glad I saw you here tonight - it must have been fate, anyway, goodbye Ana".

With that she turns and leaves, without a backward glance.

Kate is beside me in a second, "Are you ok - What the hell did she want?" she asks looking at me with concern.

I smile at her, "She's dying and she wanted to make peace with me before she does" I say.

"Shit!" Kate exclaims.

"Quite!" I say and link my arm in hers, I look towards the door Elena has just gone through and then I physically shake myself and return my attention back to why I am here tonight.

"Are we ready, are we having something here or heading off for dinner?"

Kate glances at her watch, "Let's eat I'm starving!" she says.

We are talking in the restaurant, and I am on my 3rd glass of wine. The main topic has inevitably been my meeting with Elena, I am torn and wondering whether to tell Christian or not.

"Do you think I should tell Christian?" I ask Kate.

She frowns thinking, "It's up to you, what do you think he would do if you did?" she asks.

I shrug dismissively, "He'd probably call her and go and see her" I reply.

"Can you live with that?" she asks looking at me carefully.

I think carefully about that and realise that yes I could, she is clearly no longer any threat to us anymore so yes I could.

"Yes I think I could" I reply surprised at my own level of comfort at the thought of my husband seeing his ex again.

The conversation carries on and Kate tells me that Elliot is making more of an effort and has finally got his act together and seems to be behaving like a proper father to Ava and Zoe now.

"It's about time!" I snort and Kate agrees with me.

Kate also tells me he is also seeing more of Noah and has taken all three out of his children out on trips, and that he is hoping to take them all on holiday somewhere.

"It seems, at last, he is growing up," Kate says with a smile.

We are in the car, we both a little giggly, feeling warm and fuzzy with the amount of wine we have consumed over dinner, and now we are heading to a club, we look in dismay at the line waiting to get in, but Sawyer calmly walks up to the bouncer on the door and whispers in his ear and the next thing we are being granted access and being led to a VIP area.

I start to unwind and let my hair down, we have a few dances but mainly we just sit and drink and talk, when suddenly a hand touches my shoulder.

"Mrs Grey, how are you?" I look around and standing in front of me is Dr King.

I smile widely "Come on Gaz less of the Mrs Grey!" I say.

I turn to Kate who is looking at me with a confused look on her face so I quickly introduce them.

"This is Dr Gareth King, who I told you about, we went to school together briefly many moons ago, he was the friend of a boy who I dated once or twice, Gaz this is Kate Grey my sister in law and best friend."

Kate shakes his hand and invites him to join us, I regret that decision as soon as he sits down, I feel uncomfortable, as he is sitting way too close to me and his leg keeps brushing mine.

Kate seems oblivious and then decides she needs the ladies room, and as I stand to go with her she shakes her head, "no it's ok Ana you stay and talk to Dr King."

"Gareth please," he says in a smooth voice, "yes Ana, let's talk" he grasps my arm I am surprised by the intensity of the grip and the force he pulls but I sit down and pull my arm away from him. I am feeling really uncomfortable now, so I look over to Sawyer who immediately walks towards us.

"Is everything alright, Mrs Grey?" he asks looking directly at Gareth as he speaks to me.

"Gareth, this is Luke Sawyer, my security," I say firmly hoping he takes the hint, but it doesn't seem to work, he just smiles at Sawyer.

"Hello Luke Sawyer," Gareth says in a sarcastic tone.

I look up at Sawyer "I'm ok for now thank you, Luke, Kate will be back in a moment". Sawyer nods and returns to his table, but I see him fishing his phone out of his pocket and making a call. I am hoping he is not calling Taylor or Christian.

Once again Gareth moves closer to me, he is invading my space and his eyes keep raking over me in a manner which is making my skin crawl he has obviously had far too much to drink and I realise I am going to have to handle this. I take a deep breath and steady my erratic breathing; my heart is pumping out of my chest, as I go to stand up.

"Excuse me please, Gareth, I need to use the bathroom," I say. 

As I stand he grabs my hand and lurches to his feet, the next thing his arm is around me and he is pressing his wet lips all over my face, and his hands are all over me. I don't think twice I bring my knee up and it connects sharply with his groin, and I push him off me as he moves backwards I slap him around the face and shove him again with all my strength, he wobbles and crashes backwards on to the sofa, where he sits looking dazed and in pain.

"Shit, you fucking bitch" he growls and he tries to stagger to his feet, lunging towards me once more, but Sawyer appears and grabs him and pulls his arm around behind his back, he whispers something in his ear and leads him away, the next thing I notice is Kate runs towards me her face full of concern.

"What happened, I saw him lunge at you and Sawyer grabbed him?"

I sink on to the sofa I am shaking profusely and tell Kate everything that happened. She puts her arm around me, offering me comfort and it helps to calm me down.

"Are you going to press charges?" she asks.

"I don't know, I think so", then I sigh, "Christian is going to flip, he had a bad feeling about him right from the start, I thought he was just over reacting because of everything that was happening but I should've paid attention to the red flags as they were there" I moan.

I put my head in my hands. Kate puts her arm around me, she glances around, "there are security cameras Ana" she whispers, "you have proof of what he did".

I follow her line of sight and see the small cameras on the ceiling. As I look up at them something catches my attention, and striding towards us is Christian. I realise immediately that the phone call Sawyer made was to either Taylor or Christian.

He swoops down and pulls me into his arms, "What happened, where's Sawyer?" he growls, he is clearly beside himself, he is clearly very angry but his first concern is me.

Kate places her hand on his arm "Calm down Christian, everything is under control" she says sharply, she tells him swiftly what happened from what I told her and what she saw and how we have proof of everything with the security cameras. I feel his body stiffen against mine as the anger rises even more inside him.

He pulls me away from him and holds me at arm's length; and I realise he is visually checking me all over.

"Come on baby, let's get you home," he says, when he is satisfied that I am unharmed then he turns to Kate "Are you coming?" he asks.

She nods and follows us out.

We go outside and I see Gareth being bundled into police car protesting his innocence. Christian walks up to Sawyer and whispers something in his ear. Sawyer nods, Christian claps him on the shoulder and holds his hand out to me, I see Christians R8 parked up but he leads me towards the SUV which we have been travelling around in all evening, and I climb in, in silence and Kate clambers into the back.

Christian drops Kate off and we drive home. He is quiet and remote when we get inside, I can't stand it any longer, I turn to him, "Christian are you mad at me?" I ask.

He relaxes and pulls me into his arms, "No baby, of course I'm not it's just that when Luke called he told Taylor he was concerned about what was happening, Taylor told me and I left immediately to come and fetch you, but you did nothing wrong baby, I'm mad at him and at this moment I am just going through in my mind how I am going to destroy him."

I swallow and look up into his eyes which are like flint, they soften as he looks at me, and he pulls me close and buries his nose in my hair inhaling deeply.

"Christian I have something else to tell you," I say, I feel him tense but he says nothing.

"I saw Elena tonight," I say, and wait.

"What?" he says and pulls me from him again and looks hard at me. I take the lead and pull him towards the sofa, and sit holding his hand, I take a deep breath and tell him what happened and what was said, word for word.

I see the colour drain from his face, and he looks shattered. He rakes his hand through his hair, and then looks at me.

"How are you feeling about seeing her again?" he asks quietly.

"I won't lie I was shocked but I'm surprisingly ok about it," I say.

"I won't see her if you don't want me to," he says suddenly.

"But you want to don't you?" I reply.

He pauses and thinks about that and then he nods slowly.

I sigh, its time to finally put this to rest. "I have made my peace with her, and it seems she let go of you a long while ago so if you want to go and see her... I won't stop you" I say.

"I don't want to go on my own," he says suddenly grasping my hand, "would you come with me?" he asks.

I swallow again, "Sure if you want me to" I reply.

He puts his arms around me "Thank you baby" he says.

**oooOOOooo**

Three turbulent weeks have passed since that night in the club, it turned out that Gareth King was a liability to the hospital, he was good at his job, damn good and he was one of the best in his field.

Unfortunately, he was a drinker and he was a mean drunk and drink turned him into a misogynistic twat who refused to understand or hear the word no, as I had discovered that night. He had an unfortunate track record of making a nuisance of himself at clubs and up to that point the hospital had turned a blind eye to his antics and the complaints made against him; however, it seemed that the fact he had tried it on with the wife of one of the most influential businessmen in the United States not to mention a generous benefactor to the hospital hadn't gone down well at all and the incident with me had proved to be the final straw, and he had been politely encouraged to move on, not that he would find employment anywhere else as Christian had also used his influence to blackball him.

I had argued that he was a good physician but Christian wouldn't listen saying there were plenty of good physicians in the States. Grace was mortified, she had recommended him to us for my treatment and she was really upset by what she considered a betrayal. To be fair though I was just glad it was over.

I had more important things to think about, namely my visit with Christian to see Elena, which I wasn't looking forward to one bit. He had called her asked her how she was and he arranged to meet her one final time and throughout his conversation with her he had his eyes locked on mine. He had been brisk and business-like but she had agreed to see him.

Now here we were, Christian held open the car door as I stepped out. He grasped my hand tightly and kissed my knuckles before striding towards the house.

As we approach, the door opens and there she stands, dressed from head to toe in black, she has made a huge effort with her appearance tonight and her face lights up when she sees Christian but the smile falters slightly when she saw me by his side. I go cold, oh my god was this just all a plan to see him one last time? Is she even really sick?

"Christian, its lovely to see you again after all these years" she gushes and moves forward to embrace him.

He freezes, and puts his hand up to prevent her touching him "No Elena" he says sharply.

The effect is immediate she backs off straight away and gesturing towards the front door, invites us in. I have my eyes fixed on her watching her every reaction.

Christian turns to me "Ok baby?" he whispers grasping my hand tightly.

I tear my eyes away from her and nod, "I'm fine" I say quietly and I give his hand a little reassuring squeeze.

He seems satisfied with that and heads inside, I have no option but to follow him as he hasn't let go of my hand, he glances at me again and I give him a small smile even though I am feeling any but ok. I am unsure of what is going to happen next, as I am shocked by Christian's reaction at the door.

"Won't you sit down, would you like a drink?" Elena says brightly as she enters the room and shuts the door. I am watching her again and she can't take her eyes off of Christian and she almost seems excited to see him.

"No thank you" Christian replies shortly "We won't be staying long" he adds.

Elena nods but her smile slips and she looks disappointed, "Of course" she stammers and she sits down taking the seat opposite us.

"How are you?" he asks a little more gently. He has chosen to sit on the sofa and he has pulled me close and the fact he hasn't yet let go of my hand hasn't gone unnoticed by Elena as she stares briefly at our joined hands.

She smiles again but I can tell it is now forced and brittle, "Oh as good as can be expected at this late stage," she says.

Christian nods, and takes a deep breath, "Listen, Elena, I'm glad you made your peace with Ana she deserved an apology from you for the way you treated her".

I continue to watch and Elena looks at Christian as if he has slapped her, when he said that and that is all the confirmation I need, I was right, she was manipulating me all along. She wasn't trying to make her peace before she died; she was playing the sympathy card telling me she was dying, knowing that I would tell Christian. All she wanted was to see him again and she knew that if I told him he would come, because he won't take her calls or respond to any communication from her now but it seems she wasn't expecting the way he is currently behaving, I have to say neither am I, but seemingly unaware of this he continues with what he wants to say.

"I was sorry to hear you are ill Elena" He says and then his whole demeanour changes he stops talking and shakes his head and then he suddenly he stands up. I notice that his hands have balled into fists and I immediately stand with him and touch his arm.

"Christian," I say gently.

He turns to look at me and smiles, he relaxes but only slightly and once again reaches for my hand gripping it tightly, but his other hand remains balled into a tight fist and he is ramrod straight and stiff as he returns his attention back to Elena and then he begins to speak.

"I see our relationship differently now, very differently, since I became a father it made me realise what we did... no, what you did to me - it was very, very wrong."

I take in a sharp breath can't help myself or my reaction, "Oh Christian," I gasp the words slipping out before I can stop them.

I am overjoyed at what he has just said, I am delighted he finally realises this but also slightly shocked he is voicing that realisation. He glances at me and holds his hand up, I shut up and gently stroke his arm offering him what comfort and support I can through my touch.

I realise now why he wanted to come and what he is going to do he is going to confront his past with her, he is doing what I have always hoped he would do and all I can do is support him, by being there. He is now gripping my hand to the point of pain but I ignore it and gently squeeze back.

The atmosphere is charged Christian looks at me and then he looks down as he seems to realise his grip is getting painful and relaxes it with a look of apology then he looks at Elena and his expression changes to one of utter disgust and derision.

"We didn't have love Elena, we had sex, and it was dirty and it was wrong, I was just your plaything to stop you getting bored when Linc wasn't around, something to satisfy your needs and your perverted predilections, you in your warped narcissism let yourself believe you were helping me, when all the time it was abuse, you abused me none of what you did was for me at all it was all for your sexual gratification and perverse pleasure. You took advantage of me and my issues you used my issues from my formative years against me and you made me believe what you were doing was right, but it wasn't right, it was wrong on so many levels. I was a 15-year-old frightened and confused child who had severe self-esteem issues and who was severely fucked up in the head, and all you did was fuck that boy up even more. I was a fucking child and you were the adult… you were the paedophile."

I have to summon all my self control not to do a happy dance and fist pump at his words, I can't stop the huge grin that fills my face and all that is going through my head at this moment is, at last. At last he sees her for what she really is.

"Christian I..." Elena stammers and then I see her eyes harden, she doesn't like it she still believes he is her submissive, that thought makes me feel physically ill but I hold myself together as I watch my husband also see it and he stiffens as he continues to confront his abuser. I will him to continue to finish this once and for all.

I watch as Christian holds his hand up to silence her.

"No Elena, if anyone ever acted toward my children the way you behaved towards me I would destroy them, you didn't care about me at all, you drove my anger inwards and it has taken me years to recover from it. You tried to manipulate me, control me, sabotage my relationship with my family and for many years you succeeded in making me estranged from them, then you tried to sabotage my relationship with the one person who you realised could help me and was helping me. She was a danger to you and your continued control and manipulation over me you knew that she would make me see what you really were, she would make me see clearly the abuse you perpetrated and you couldn't stand it could you, you couldn't stand the fact Ana was healing me, and making me whole, making me complete and making me see you for what you really are and that is a dirty filthy paedophile".

Christian stops he is trembling now and he takes a deep breath and another shot look at me before he continues "You think you made me what I am today but you are wrong, you are so wrong. I owe two women everything, two women made me the man I now am, firstly when I was a small child I was saved by Grace who took care of me and gave me a home and love and a family - a family which you tried and succeeded for a time to take away from me, and I let you do it," he pauses and shakes his head with regret. Then he looks at her once more the raw hatred he is feeing and displaying is palpable.

"Then there is this woman beside me, I credit this woman as being the person who made me what I now am because she saved me emotionally, and not only that she gave me back my family who you stole from me by your actions and she has given me a family of my own, she has given me my life and it is a life worth living" he says gesturing towards me.

I swallow deeply as he is isn't stopping, "She gave me love and trust and affection, she made me realise I was worthy of love She holds me in her arms and tells me how much I mean to her and I believe her because this woman has shown me how much she loves me to the point of putting her own life in danger for me. She has made me see the truth and she saved me from you" he pauses and Elena is just sitting motionless totally dumbstruck by his tirade. I think he has finished but as I go to speak he starts to speak again.

"You think you made me what I am but you gave me nothing, you only took from me, you took my family from me making me believe that I didn't need them, you alienated me from the people who truly loved me. You took my virginity and for a long time you took my free will and worst of all you tried to take Ana from me when you realised that you were losing your influence over me. You are nothing but a filthy paedophile, you an example of the dregs of humanity, the worst kind of scum who abused me and manipulated me for years" he stops.

Elena looks crushed, Christian looks down at her, and I am shocked by the coldness in his eyes.

"Do you remember the night we last met up? He spits "That was the night I finally saw you for what you really are, that was the night the scales fell from my eyes and I realised everything Ana has said about you was right". My ears prick up at this he had admitted to the fact she had made a pass at him that night but he never went into any detail about what went on between them.

"That night I was distressed and hurting and what did you do, you didn't offer anything constructive, which as the 'friend' I believed you to be should have, instead you tried to manipulate the situation and you kiss me, you tried to lure me back to you. You wanted to take me away from the one person who makes me completely happy. That's not love or caring about someone, that was pure selfishness and manipulation on your part, you are evil, pure and simple and I'm glad you are dying I hope that it's a..." he stops as I place my hand on his arm and interrupt him.

"Christian please, come on, that's enough," I say quietly, I can't bear to hear any more.

He turns to me the love for me glowing in his eyes "but I need her to know," he says desperately.

"I think she's got the message baby" I say to him quietly using his pet word for me back at him, I touch his face, "Just let it go now, you have told her how you feel, you've told her you've seen her for the monster she is you've done it, you have your closure so now just let it all go".

He shuts his eyes tight and lets out a huge sigh; he looks at Elena, "We are going now" he says simply "Goodbye".

Elena nods "Goodbye Christian" she says.

He turns on his heel and walks out he is walking so quickly that he is dragging me along with him as he pulls me out the door. I look back at Elena our eyes meet and she looks totally devastated, she looks as though she has aged years in the past few moments as she realises that her hold over him is now completely gone.

As soon as we get outside he turns sharply and drags me into his arms and holds me as if his life depends on it, I feel his body shaking and I realise he is crying. I wrap my arms around him and stroke his back offering him all the comfort and Iove that I can.

I have no idea how long we just stand there like that in silence but eventually I feel him start to pull away so I look up and speak to him.

"Come on Christian lets go home" I say gently.

He nods and we climb into the car as we do so I turn to him "Are you alright?" I ask.

I watch as he thinks about that for a moment and then he smiles and nods his head firmly, he is calm now almost serenely so.

"Yes, yes I am in fact, I have never felt better it has taken me far too many years to realise it but I am finally seeing everything clearly now.

"Good" I say unsure of what else I can say.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

I am sitting with Grace in a busy coffee shop, I love spending time with her and we don't do it often enough, I have just spent the last few minutes giving her a rough outline of what happened a few days ago when we visited Elena. I sit back as I finish talking and take a gulp from the cup of tea I am drinking. Grace stares at me, and then a smile crosses her face.

"Finally" she breathes and clutches my hand across the table. "That night all those years ago at the party when I heard that he had been..." she stops and swallows deeply.

"It's ok Grace," I say, "We don't need to go over old ground again; you've told me before how you felt".

Grace looks up at me; I still see the guilt clearly in her eyes. "You don't understand Ana, I was wilfully blind to that entire period of his life. He was hurting and he was lashing out, I tried with him I really did, we both did he was just so distant and remote that we couldn't reach him, he was so damaged by what had happened to him and we tried to help mend that damage, were we naive to think we could do that? Yes, definitely I believe we were very naive to think that by adopting him we could wash away everything that had happened to him. That by giving him a brighter future with the privilege and wealth that we could offer we could undo everything that had happened. But we tried, oh how we tried throughout his childhood he went through therapist after therapist for years and by the time he reached his teenage years we were at our wits end with him," she pauses and takes a sip of her drink.

"Grace, don't blame yourself" I say quietly.

Grace looks at me bleakly and shakes her head, "Oh but I do, as all I could see was my boy spiralling out of control and being totally unable to reach him, to help him. I often question my decision to honour his physical boundaries, more so since I have discovered what… she did to him. Whether by just accepting he didn't want to be touched and not pushing the issue and not doing more to help him overcome his Haphephobia, did I make things worse was there _something_ I could've done to prevent what happened? I often wonder what if? What if when it became clear he tolerated Mia's touch I had used that and built on it rather than just being jubilant that he was at least letting a little baby touch him. Mia was such a positive influence on him and yet I so completely failed him and worst of all I gave him to that woman gift wrapped".

"Grace please" I say but she isn't listening to me and she continues as if she hasn't heard me.

"When he became a teenager he was out of control, he was so angry all the time and he was on a path to self destruction, and I just couldn't reach him. He pushed us all away, didn't accept the love we so desperately wanted and tried to give him, he started drinking and fighting, it was terrible". She shakes her head and I remember how Christian explained his reasoning behind how he had behaved during those years.

"Then suddenly it was like a miracle he turned everything around; he stopped fighting, he knuckled down at school and his grades sky rocketed and I was so relieved and so happy by the transformation in him that I didn't look as to _why_ that had happened, what caused that miraculous change in him, but now with hindsight I can see the signs were there. I'm a paediatrician for god's sake, I am trained to see the signs of abuse but I knew nobody in our home would do such a wicked thing and so I dismissed them and put it down to the period before he came to us as a toddler. I was wilfully blind to the signs that were there as I was just so happy by the superficial aspects that my son was at last appearing to turn his life around and finally get his act together and I will never forgive myself for that".

I swallow hard and try and offer Grace what comfort I can. I see her thinking and then she takes a deep breath and smiles.

"On the positive side though, once I knew everything, once I knew what had happened what that woman had done to him I also knew that this day would come eventually, I knew he would figure it out for himself, that she hadn't helped him but that she had abused him. I didn't expect it to take quite so long after he admitted he was starting to question things but I'm glad it's finally happened."

I look questioningly at Grace wondering what she means by that and she smiles at me.

"Do you remember when you were in hospital after you saved Mia from Jack Hyde?"

I nod wondering where this is going.

"While you were unconscious I came to see you, Christian was there of course, he had refused to leave you and he never left your side the entire time from the moment they found you. None of us could understand why you did what you did so I asked him why you hadn't talked to him, confided in him and got his help and why you had gone off on your own to try and save Mia".

A flash of recognition from the depths of my memory comes to me, a vague hazy memory of a moment in time where I was unconscious but hearing what was going on around me, a hushed conversation between Christian and his mother. Grace looks past me as she is remembering that night.

"When I came in to the room you were so still, and you looked so vulnerable as you lay there in that hospital bed and Christian was shredded. He was beside himself with worry, but I knew something had to have happened, for you to have done what you did; and so I asked him why you hadn't told him what was happening, and he said that at that time you weren't on speaking terms. I knew from the way he was talking and the guilt he was displaying that he had done something to upset you and cause the situation, and I asked him what had happened. I asked him what he had done, and it was then he broke down and told me how appallingly he'd behaved when you told him you were pregnant. I was so angry with him for that and I told him how stupid he'd been and that's when he told me how he had walked out on you and gone to see... her and what had happened".

Grace pauses and grips my hand tightly, "Did he ever tell you she made a pass at him before you found out the other night of course?"

I nod, "Yes he told me everything, the whole thing with Elena from how it started when she first got her claws into him, right up to the night I told him I was pregnant".

Grace nods, "That was my fault too, I offered him up to her on a damn plate I sent him to her to do yard work after he had been expelled from yet another school" she says bitterly.

Then she shakes her head and gets back to the story. "Anyway, he was devastated, at what had happened and how he'd reacted to your news. He knew he had behaved immaturely and stupidly and I will never understand what possessed him to go to her. He tried to tell me it wasn't planned and that he had just bumped into her but I'm not so sure, he told himself that but I think subconciously she still had some sort of hold over him for him to even be somewhere where he knew she would be, but that's beside the point, what I am trying to say is it was that night that made him first realise what they did… what she did to him was wrong. He told me that himself, it was in that moment when she tried to kiss him that made him realise it had been wrong and he said that it was the news of the baby which he had just received which helped him reach that conclusion. I remember telling him at the time that having children changed the way you looked at things".

I nod again, "He said that to Elena, the other night," I say, "he said that if anyone had behaved towards our children the way she had done to him, he would destroy them."

"He would", Grace agrees, she looks straight at me "he would kill them and not think twice about it" she pauses as though she is wondering whether to say something else.

"Did you know he nearly killed Jack Hyde that day you were taken?" she asks after a moment.

I shake my head, but then another vague memory stirs, a cryptic comment Christian had made at the time, "I wanted to kill him – I nearly did".

"What did he do?" I ask almost afraid to hear the answer.

Grace shakes her head, "If it wasn't for Taylor and Sawyer, Christian would probably be in jail now. He completely lost control and reason. It was seeing you on the ground unconscious, and then he spotted Mia who had been drugged and something just snapped, by all accounts he was feral, he just let loose completely not caring for the consequences of his actions. He grabbed Jack up off the floor and repeatedly punched him then he let him fall to the ground and he grabbed the gun you had used, he hauled Jack up and dragged him over to a wall and pinned him up against it, he was going to shoot him, it took Taylor and Sawyer all their strength to pull him away and stop him".

"Thank god they did" I whisper, I can't believe it, Christian who has always been so staunchly anti-gun, refusing despite my pleading to learn to shoot, coming so close to ending another person's life with a firearm because of me.

I want to get off this subject, I remember Phoebe's exhibition and quickly switch to it.

"Are you and Carrick coming to the art exhibition next week?" I ask with an almost desperate overly bright cheerful tone.

Grace smiles "We wouldn't miss it for the world," she says, she looks at me sympathetically and thankfully takes up my change of subject without question.

"At this rate, the Grey and Steele family will be taking over the whole exhibition, my dad's coming and so is Kate," I say with a smile.

Grace laughs, "She is a very talented artist for someone so young, her work shows such maturity, it's quite incredible, I find it hard to believe it is the work of a 10-year-old when I see some of the pieces she has done".

Grace and I continue to talk until we are disturbed by my phone which buzzes insistently, I glance at my watch.

"Hell look at the time!" I exclaim "Where did that hour go, I need to get back to work". I leap to my feet as I am rummaging for my phone which is still buzzing.

When I eventually find it I glance at the screen and frown, wondering why the school is calling me.

"Hello, Ana Grey" I answer, Grace stands and gathers her belongings.

"WHAT!" I exclaim I cannot believe what the person on the end of the line has just told me. I grasp Grace's arm, she turns and looks at me with concern.

"Yes thank you, I'll be right there" I reply and hang up.

"Ana, what's wrong?" Grace asks.

I look at her I still can't believe what I have just been told. "It's Isobel, she's been fighting, she's done the girl who she hit some damage."

Grace looks at me with her mouth open, "Isobel?! Surely not!" She says incredulously.

"I know, I'm finding it hard to believe as well but I'm going to have to tell Christian". I say as I look at my phone once more.

I pause "This is going to be fun," I mutter sarcastically as I dial Christian's number.

"Ana," he says when he answers.

"Christian we have a problem," I say.

"What's happened?" he replies a tone of panic in his voice.

"The school has just phoned me – Isobel is in trouble, she has been fighting and inflicted some damage on the girl she hit."

"Christ! Hang on, Isobel? Are you serious?" he says incredulously.

"I know I'm finding it as hard to believe as you," I say.

Christian sighs, "Give me half an hour, I'll meet you at the school."

"OK," I say and with that, he hangs up, I dial again and speak to Hannah "Hannah cancel my appointments for this afternoon, an emergency has come up," I say.

"OK Ana" she replies, "Don't forget you have those contracts to sign though," she says.

I think for a moment, "Can you courier them to home, I'll sign them and send them back."

"Sure no problem" she replies and then she is gone.

Grace stands staring at me, "Do you want me to come with you?" she asks with her hand on my arm.

I shake my head," Thank you, but no, there's no need" I say.

Grace kisses my cheek, "I'll say goodbye then dear" she says "Thank you so much for a lovely lunch it was nice to talk" she adds, and with that, she is gone.

I look round and see Sawyer is walking towards me; he saw Grace leave and must assume we are returning to work.

"Luke, can you take me to the school, apparently there is a problem with Izzy?" I say as he approaches me.

He nods and we cross the road and head towards the parking lot.

I spend the journey wondering what on earth has happened and when we pull up at the school I climb out of the before it has barely stopped.

"Thank you Luke" I say and he nods at me.

"I'll go and find somewhere to park" he says and with that he disappears.

I walk towards the school office and I see Karen Prescott walking towards me.

"What the hell has happened?" I ask.

She pulls me to one side, "Two older girls were bullying Alex and Izzy noticed and so she stepped in to protect him" she says with a smile.

"Older girls? You mean older than Izzy?" I ask.

Prescott nods and a smile creeps across her lips, "She was magnificent, Mrs Grey, those two girls were much older than her and head and shoulders bigger than her but she just waded in there. She took them on and she took them down, I'm sorry Mrs Grey but I couldn't step in I'm not allowed to when it's other children who are involved. But they seemed nasty pieces, and they are known for their behaviour and I have since discovered that they have recently come off warnings for it."

I shake my head, "Don't worry about it," I say.

I stop and think and then I shake my head "My father has a lot to answer for!" I add, but secretly I am proud of Izzy for protecting her brother.

Ray has been giving Theo and Phoebe self-defence classes and Isobel has been going along to watch, and it seems taking notice.

"Ana".

I turn at the call to see Christian striding towards me, I quickly explain what has happened and I see the paternal pride spread across Christians face along with a slight grin. He grips my hand and we head towards the school office. As we are sitting waiting, Sawyer walks in and sits down in the corner with Prescott.

After a few moments, we are taken through to the principal's office, and sitting there is Isobel looking dishevelled and defiant. She has her arm wrapped around Alex who is quietly crying and she is glaring menacingly at two girls who are indeed head and shoulders bigger than her, one is holding a tissue to a severely bleeding nose and the other has an enormous ice pack over a quickly bruising and swollen eye and a cut lip. There appears to be another parent there as well, a young harassed looking mother who gapes openly at Christian as we enter the room.

Christian ignores her and walks towards the principal his hand outstretched, he gives her his full megawatt smile which seems to have the desired effect as she can't take her eyes off him either.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey, thank you for joining us, please take a seat, we are just waiting for the final parent to arrive, but I think we will make a start," the principal says pulling herself together.

Isobel moves to go towards Christian, but he stops her in her tracks with a single glare and she sits down again.

The incident is quickly outlined, apparently the two older girls cornered Alex and decided to try and pull his trousers down, he tried to get away and so they had lifted him up to dump him in a trash can, Isobel had seen them and rushed to her brother's aid. They had released him and turned on her and she had basically kicked their asses. A number of children had come forward who had witnessed the altercation and substantiated Alex and Izzy's version of events and things are not looking good for the two older girls.

The mother of one of the girls is cringing at the story, and she glares at her daughter who puts her head down. There is a knock at the door and another woman enters, presumably the mother to the other girl. We turn to look at her as she strides to the table, she immaculately dressed and is carrying a small briefcase and it is clear she is a successful businesswoman.

"So sorry it took me so long," she says, offering her hand to the principal, she turns and catches sight of Christian and openly gasps, before sitting with a thud on to a seat.

The Principal quickly outlines the events again for her benefit, and then calls the children forward. Isobel grasps Alex's hand and leads him forward; as she does so she wraps her arm protectively around his shoulder. The two older girls also stand and I gasp they are clearly older and much bigger.

The two mothers also notice the discrepancy in size and they both look uncomfortable. From what the principal says next it is clear this is not the first time these girls have been in trouble, as Prescott had said previously they seem to be known bullies who make a habit of this kind of behaviour.

They are both suspended for 3 days for their role and told categorically that this is their last chance to change. The two mothers are told that this is a final warning, if they do anything like this again they will be removed from the school. Both parents go white and glare at their children.

The principal then turns to Isobel, and I hold my breath as she starts to speak, it is her first offence which seems to be in her favour and it also seems to have been taken into consideration that she was protecting her brother. However, she is scathing that Izzy had used so much force and inflicted so much damage. Her saving grace appears to be her previously clean record, and I can't help thinking because her father is Christian Grey also probably has something to do with it. Thankfully Isobel is let off with a warning and told that this incident won't go on her permanent record.

As we are leaving the mother who arrived late makes a beeline for Christian, she strides towards him her hand outstretched.

"Mr Grey, I am so pleased to meet you, although its a shame it is under such circumstances, I'm Alexandra McKenna".

Christian stares at her impassively his eyes like ice and stiffly shakes her hand, but says nothing.

This seems to throw her off slightly but she bravely ploughs on, "Please let me apologise for my daughter" she says.

Christian nods and then turns to leave, it seems this has irritated her and she blurts out "Excuse me, but your daughter has possibly broken her nose, so I am within my rights to press charges."

Christian spins on the spot, and steps menacingly towards her, she takes an involuntary step back.

"How old is your daughter Ms McKenna?" he asks mildly, too mildly. 

"N... Nearly ten" she stammers. 

Christian nods, "Isobel is eight years old, her brother who your daughter was bullying is six, your daughter is much taller than either of them and older, I suggest you think about that fact before you try and claim any moral high ground, as I'm sure the authorities would be interested to hear how a 10-year-old girl tried to forcibly remove the pants of a six-year-old boy."

He stares at her and she blanches, she swallows hard, "I wasn't suggesting..." she stammers and then stops.

"Good" Christian replies, he turns to me holding his hand out and I take it and we leave the room.

**oooOOOooo**

I am lying in Christian's arms we are curled up on the sofa, with some music playing in the background. We are still thinking about Isobel's reaction when we spoke to her earlier. We had asked her why she did what she did, she looked at us as if we had two heads, and replied simply 'Because he's my brother, and nobody hurts my family'.

We had tried to explain to her that the amount of violence she had used wasn't appropriate, and she had looked at us again and said, 'I didn't think it would be so easy, they were taller and older than me so I hit hard because I didn't want them to hit me back'.

Both Christian and I had tried to suppress smiles at that comment.

"I'm still wondering where the hell she learnt how to fight like that" Christian says suddenly.

I turn and look up at him, "Come on Christian don't you remember Brawler Trevelyan Grey?" I tease.

"Yes, but I had issues," he says quietly.

I turn and wrap my arms around him "Hey, I didn't mean it like that and I'm just teasing you, besides I think she has been watching my dad giving Phoebe and Theo self-defence classes, she must have picked it up from there".

He nods and looks at me, "Do you think she would be interested in training with Claude?" he asks.

I shake my head "I don't know why don't you ask her?"

"I wanted to run it past you first, Theo isn't interested in the martial arts anymore, he has dropped it and he is concentrating on his athletics and Phoebe refuses point blank to do it.

"I'm ok with it" I shrug.

Christian shouts Isobel, and we hear her running down the stairs.

As she enters the lounge she looks wary, Christian had rebuked her quite sharply for her use of excessive violence and it had stung. We could both tell that had upset her more than anything as she hates disappointing Christian.

"Isobel, would you like to learn a martial art with Claude, he would teach you control as well as attack?"

Her face lights up, "Would I ever!" she exclaims.

"Ok, which one appeals to you, Judo, Karate?"

"Krav Maga," she says immediately.

Christian blanches, "Izzy that's quite full on, do you think...?"

She interrupts him, "I have been looking at martial arts online and this one is my favourite, I have been watching demonstrations of it on YouTube, I like the way the idea is you end the fight as quickly as possible".

We both sit with our mouths wide open, it seems we have our answer as to where she learnt her fighting skills.

Christian recovers first and smiles, "Ok," he says, "If you are serious about it, we will get you a few lessons under your belt with Claude and then if you still want to we will find you a class and enrol you".

Isobel flings her arms around Christian's neck and kisses him "Thank you, daddy, I love you!" she says.

I watch her practically skip from the room, "She's a dark horse" I mutter.

"Very" Christian replies.

He gently eases himself down on top of me and kisses my forehead.

"What do you think you are doing?" I ask grinning at him.

"Paying my wife some attention," he says with a wicked grin, "Do you have a problem with that?"

I wrap my arms around him, "Not at all!" I reply.

"Good," he says and covers my lips with his.

**oooOOOooo**

_One week later..._

It's warm and I am bursting with pride, we are standing in a crowded hall with hundreds of people milling around. I can't take my eyes off a set of 3 pictures being displayed on the wall. They are titled "Family Tree" and I see familiar faces of everyone in our family appearing as fruit from trees standing in a field. Every time I look closer I see something new appearing on it. Christian is standing open-mouthed staring at it.

"Do you like it, dad?" Phoebe asks him nervously sliding her small hand into his.

He looks down at her and smiles "Phoebe it's magnificent" he says.

"Do you think anyone will want to buy it?" she asks.

Christian wraps his arm around her "Somebody already has" he whispers in her ear.

"You bought it!" she squeals and claps her hands.

He nods at her, and she wraps her arms around his waist.

I am smiling at them and I am brought back by a familiar voice in my ear, "Your girl's got talent."

I spin around "JOSE!" I exclaim and fling my arms around him.

"Jose!" Phoebe squeals and runs to him, he picks her up and swings her around.

"Hey Pheebs, I love your picture!" he says grinning at her, "I was going to buy it but someone beat me to it!" he says glancing at Christian, who grins at him.

"How are you, Jose?" Christian asks, slapping him on the shoulder.

"I'm good, I also have some news," he says, he turns and Sophie walks up beside him and slips her hand into his, Christian's face drops immediately as he sees this.

"Jose?" I say also a little taken aback by what is happening.

He shrugs, "I love her," he says simply, he turns towards Sophie and gives her a looks so filled with love and she returns it and smiles widely at him.

"And I love him too" she says.

I look at them and I immediately see the same look Christian and I give each other.

"What does your father say?" I ask tentatively, as I really can't see Taylor being on board with this.

"He wasn't too keen, to begin with, but he can see Jose loves me and in the end, all he wants is for me to be happy!"

Christian nods and pulls Jose to one side, I watch them carefully and try to listen to what they are saying. I tune in the hushed conversation and hear Christian speak.

"She is 14 years younger than you," Christian says to him.

Jose nods and points out the age difference between Christian and myself, Christian sighs as Jose earnestly tells him that his intentions are all totally honourable. I see him shake Jose's hand and then he whispers something into Jose's ear which I can't hear, but Jose just nods solemnly and they return.

"What did you say to him?" I ask as Jose and Sophie walk away.

"I told him if he ever hurt her, it wouldn't be just Taylor after his balls on a plate!"

I smile and squeeze his hand.

"Annie" the familiar voice of my father makes me turn. I run into his arms and hug him tightly; as usual, he looks embarrassed by my public show of affection towards him.

"Granddad Ray!" A chorus of voices shout and pushing their way through the crowd of people my four children appear from all directions and throw themselves at him, he laughs and wraps them all in a hug.

"Hey guys!" he says, he looks at Phoebe, "Well little lady are you going to show me your picture?" he says.

Phoebe beams at him and pulls him towards the pictures on the wall and points at them.

"Whoa," he says stunned as he stands gaping at the pictures.

He hugs Phoebe to him unable to say another word.

Grace and Carrick walk over and join him and they chat happily.

"Excuse me, Mr Grey, may we have a photograph?" a photographer calls as he approaches Christian who scowls and shakes his head.

"This is not about me," he says shortly and goes to turn away.

"Please Mr Grey, maybe one with your daughter?"

Christian spins and fixes the man with an icy stare, "I said no, and you will not take photographs of my children" he says very quietly and deliberately, he looks calm and a model of self-control, but I know differently, the anger is very close to the surface and if they push it will explode.

"Christian, calm down," I say grasping his hand.

He looks at me wraps his arm around my shoulder and moves away, "Come on we're leaving" he says.

He rounds up the children and Taylor and Sawyer appear.

He kisses his mother and pulls my hand to get me to follow, I stop and pull away, "Christian you are overreacting, please don't cause a scene, and besides I don't want to go yet as my father has only just arrived".

I run my hand up and down his back and it seems to calm him.

"I'm sorry," he says, "This is Phoebe's night I didn't want it to become about me".

"So, don't cause a scene and draw more attention to yourself," I say.

Then an idea pops into my head and I take a deep breath, "Why don't you reach a compromise with the photographers, they want a picture of you whereas you want this to be about Phoebe, so let them have one of you and Phoebe, she will love it. She is only 10 so you make sure you have full control over what they do and don't publish and you make it clear that whatever is published will focus on her and not you."

He looks at me and smiles; he touches my chin with his finger.

"What would I do without you Mrs Grey?" he says.

Christian strolls over to the press pack and states his terms, I see a large amount of nodding and handshaking.

He comes back and calls Phoebe, "Phoebe darling come here a moment will you".

Phoebe runs to Christian and he asks her if she would like to have her photo taken by the photographers, he explains to her that it will be in the press and that if she doesn't want to its ok. I see the reporters waiting eagerly almost willing her to say yes. She beams up at Christian and nods her head enthusiastically, they go and stand beside her picture and the press pack quickly close in. Christian protectively wraps his arm around her and at first, she looks a little startled at all the flashbulbs going off but soon relaxes and smiles widely.

As Christian raises his hand to state that enough is enough, when a reporter with a cameraman pushes her way towards him, it's a local television news team covering the event and this eager reporter is obviously looking for a scoop, and she pushes the microphone into Phoebe's face. Phoebe immediately shrinks back in fright and tries to hide behind Christian who steps forward and pushes it away roughly and glares at Taylor who immediately strides forward and places himself between the reporter and Phoebe. Christian stands in front of the reporter and speaks in a cold calm voice.

"You seem to forget my daughter is 10 years old, so you will not approach her unless I give you permission to do so, do you understand?"

The reporter looks shocked and backs off with a mumbled apology, Christian steers Phoebe back to where we all standing.

The reporter follows, not willing to give up, "Mr Grey may we speak to you then?" she asks.

Christian turns and fixes the reporter with a withering look, "No, this evening is not about me so you may not."

The reporter looks crushed and turns away, I think she is quickly realising that if she had gone about things differently she may now have the scoop she wanted.

"Well done!" I say to him as he stands beside me.

His mouth twitches, "I really hate those parasites" he says.

The evening wears on and I see Taylor talking with Jose and Sophie, and smile, I'm glad Jose is happy. I am pulled from my thoughts by a voice behind me, "Mrs Grey."

I turn and see an oldish balding man in an ill-fitting grey suit, I recognise him and I go cold. "Mr Lincoln what do you want?" I say.

Standing in front of me is Donald Lincoln, who is the ex-husband of Elena and the man who had made it possible for Jack Hyde to come after me all those years ago by paying his bail. I first met him when I was leaving Christians club before we got married, when he shared an elevator with us, but it was an ill-fitting brown suit he wore then, I didn't know who he was then of course.

Since then, there have been numerous encounters with him. After Christian had carried out his plan to bankrupt him he had tried to come and see Christian to try and do something to get his company back but when he realised Christian wasn't interested he seemed to disappear, and this is the first time I have seen him since then.

I feel a warm strong arm wrap around me and a familiar cold voice filled with warning and veiled threat says "Step away Linc".

Christian has joined me and is glaring at him with an intensity which scares me.

"Grey" he spits glaring back at Christian. "This is no concern of yours I want to speak to your wife".

"My wife is my concern" He growls.

I feel anger rising in my gut, "Hello I am here you know" I say, I turn to Christian and squeeze his hand "Please" I whisper and stare him straight in the eye.

He sighs and waves his hands in the air, "Fine" he splutters, he turns toward Linc once more, "touch her and I won't be held responsible for my actions".

I touch his arm again reassuringly, "Thank you" I say, I turn to Linc "You have one minute, so make it count".

He gestures to a door and I follow him.

We stand outside the exhibition hall in a side room I cross my arms and pull myself up to stand ramrod straight in front of him, I notice Taylor has joined us and is standing quietly in the corner, Linc hasn't noticed he is there.

"Thank you, "he says, he looks nervous.

"Just say what you have to say and then go" I snap.

He sighs "I know it is late in coming but I wanted to apologise to you for the way I got involved with Jack Hyde, I should never have let my hatred of your husband cause you harm and it was never my intention for you or his sister to get hurt."

I stare at him not quite believing what I am hearing, "Excuse me?" I say.

He looks uncomfortable and shifts slightly.

I laugh humourlessly "You are very right it is more than a bit late, that was thirteen years ago" I turn to leave, and he grabs my arm. I look down at his hand and I remember Christian's threat, and I am thankful he isn't here to witness what Linc has just done.

"Wait," he says gripping my arm, Taylor takes a step forward and Linc notices him for the first time.

I turn and stare at him, "Or what?" I snarl "You will beat me to a pulp?!" I say viciously.

I smile as I look at his hand once more, "I think you are in more danger of that if you don't let me go" I say.

He lets go of my arm as if I have burnt him and steps back looking shocked, "She _was_ sleeping with him" he says bitterly almost as if he is trying to justify the fact he hit her.

I don't actually care that he hit her but what I do care about is the fact he still blames Christian, I shake my head and I get right into his face.

"Do you know the full story Mr Lincoln?" I say quietly and I stare at him with the impassive look I have learnt from my husband.

He looks confused and shakes his head, I gesture to a chair "I think you had better sit down then" I say.

He sits not taking his eyes off me and swallows. I notice Taylor has disappeared and I have a feeling he has probably gone to fetch Christian.

"Mr Lincoln, was Elena a trophy wife?" I ask.

He thinks for a moment then sighs, "yes, she was, but I loved her, in my own way" he says.

I look at him, "And there lies your problem Mr Lincoln you loved her in your own way, she was bored and wanted some excitement."

"And your husband was only too pleased to oblige her" he spits at me.

I step forward and fist my hands at my side "Do you know how old Christian was when your wife first seduced him?"

He shakes his head.

"Fifteen," I spit.

"He was a fifteen-year-old boy with self-esteem issues, and baggage from a horrendous childhood before he was adopted I assume you know about his childhood history?"

Linc's mouth drops open and he nods, "Grace and Elena were friends and Grace told her" he stammers.

I carry on and tell him everything Christian told me that night he opened up to me about how the affair started and went on to tell him how she tried to split us up and the night in the bar when she made a pass at him, I bring him right up to date with our encounter a week or so earlier. I don't spare him a single detail, and I am relentless in my tirade.

When I stop he looks a broken man, he looks at me bewildered, he has tears in his eyes and is shaking his head, and making a strange moaning noise. But I haven't finished and I walk right up to him, my hands on my hips.

"So Mr Lincoln," I say, he lifts his head up and stares at me and I continue "if you want to blame anyone for your marriage break up I suggest you look at yourself for not treating your wife with love and respect and then look at your ex-wife who in my opinion is nothing more than a dirty paedophile who took advantage of a vulnerable fucked up child".

He looks gutted; he puts his head in his hands and starts to sob. I look at him in disgust, as I lift my head up I see Christian standing in the doorway, I run to him and embrace him.

"I'm sorry," I say, "But he had to know the truth" I touch his face and he nods at me. He pulls me to his side as Donald Lincoln stands and walks towards him.

"I... I'm sorry I had no idea," he says holding a hand out towards Christian.

Christian looks at me and I smile at him, he shakes Lincs hand and nods but doesn't say a word.

"That woman has tried to destroy us all," he says bitterly. I frown he has ignored his portion of the blame and heaped everything squarely on Elena.

"Can I ask why you came tonight to speak to me?" I ask looking at him.

He looks at me, "Elena died this afternoon, and it made me think of my own mortality, I wanted to make my peace with you, I have always felt guilty about what happened to you because I was too blinded with my need for revenge on him for his relationship with my wife to see what Jack Hyde was like".

I grip Christian who stiffens next to me.

"I will leave you now, I think I have taken more than my allotted minute, Goodbye Mrs Grey" he says.

"Goodbye" I whisper.

"Grey" he nods at Christian.

"Linc" Christian replies.

We watch him leave, and then look at each other his words that Elena is dead finally seem to register with me.

"So she's gone" I say.

I feel Christian sag in my arms I wrap myself around him, "She's gone, It's finally over" he says gripping me tightly and pushing his head into my neck.

"It's all over" I whisper in his ear and I squeeze him gently. "Christian, come on, let's get back to our family, where we belong" I add.

He stands and looks at me and holds out his hand to me, "Come on baby" he says.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

_Six months later..._

Six months have passed and everything is seemingly calm and uneventful. Theo has celebrated his 13th birthday and Phoebe has now turned 11. Everyone seems settled and things are swimming along nicely.

We are all sitting eating breakfast when we see Taylor hovering in the doorway, Christian looks up at him.

"Anything wrong?" he asks and Taylor shakes his head and steps closer.

"Erm sorry to bother you sir, while you are having your breakfast I just wanted to give you this. It's from Sophie and Jose" he hands Christian an envelope. Christian takes it from him opening it swiftly, and then he looks up at Taylor and beams at him.

I glance over to see a wedding invitation in Christian's hand, I squeal and leap to my feet and embrace Taylor almost knocking him over. He hugs me and then pulls away looking embarrassed. I grab my phone and call Jose.

"Jose Rodriguez, why didn't you tell me" I squeal down the phone. "Congratulations!" I add, I look up and see Christian gesturing towards the phone, "hang on Christian wants to speak to you" I quickly hand the phone over.

"Jose, congratulations!" Christian says "Of course we will be coming to your wedding try and stop us" he hands the phone back to me.

"Ana, are you there, will you be my best man?" Jose asks.

I am stunned, when I pull myself together I take a deep breath "Jose, a best man is just that a man" I say.

"Ana, the best man is someone who is close to the groom, his best friend in the whole world, and Ana that's you, it always has been."

I feel tears welling up in my eyes, "Jose it will be an honour!" I say.

"Great, listen I've got to go," he says.

"Bye Jose," I say and hang up.

Christian is staring at me.

"Jose has asked me to be his best man!" I say proudly and then I giggle as Christian chokes on his coffee.

I glance at my watch, and rise to my feet as I need to go and brush my teeth. When I return Christian is at the door watching our children head off to school, he turns and smiles at me as I walk in the room I feel a warmth go through me as I return his smile and then I grab my bag and phone and snatch my jacket from the hook.

"I'm going then" I say and plant a swift kiss on his lips, but he grabs me around the waist and deepens the kiss.

"Christian let me go I am going to be late, I have a meeting first thing with a new author" I try to pull away from him but he refuses to let me go.

He grasps my hair and pulls my head back and I feel my insides starting to melt, I respond to him and letting my bag fall to the floor I grip him tightly and run my hands over this firm shoulders.

He eventually pulls away, grinning widely and looking very pleased with himself.

"That's better," he says, "Now you may go to work".

I roll my eyes and he grins at me wickedly and slaps my behind as I walk away from him.

"Don't roll your eyes at me Mrs Grey" he teases.

I turn around and deliberately roll them again and he takes a step towards me, I break into a run and leave the room laughing.

I am smiling as I climb into the car, and see him standing in the doorway watching me go. I shake my head and try and focus on the day ahead.

The day flies past, meetings, launches and exhibitions everything seems to be happening, it is 4 pm when I glance at the clock and realise I haven't eaten. I run down to the kitchen and grab a cup of tea and some cookies out of the communal jar, I am walking back when I look towards reception and see Ethan talking to Clare on Reception. I head towards them and Clare looks towards me and puts down the phone she had just picked up.

"Hi, Ethan," I say with a smile.

"Hi" he replies, "Listen, sorry to bother you but I was hoping to have a word."

"Sure," I say, I nod towards my office and he follows, I tell Hannah to hold my calls, and gesture towards my office, I follow Ethan in and close the door.

"What's up?" I ask.

Ethan looks at me, he looks tired and there are huge dark circles under his eyes. He hesitates, before he speaks, "Ana would you do us a huge favour?" He looks at me "Would you mind babysitting Jonathan tomorrow evening for us as it's our wedding anniversary and I want to take Mia out for a meal, just the two of us, and I want to get everything fixed so she can't back out."

I frown "Can't back out?" I ask.

Ethan sighs, "She won't leave Jonathan, we haven't had a night out since he was born because she refuses to leave him with someone".

"So what makes you think she will agree this time?" I ask.

"The only people Mia would trust him with are you and Christian and her mother, she has said as much but she doesn't want to impose herself on any of you, so if I tell her I have fixed it all and you don't mind and that it's sorted she can't argue."

I nod, "well I don't mind," I say "and I'm sure Christian will be thrilled to spend some time with his nephew".

Ethan beams at me, he stands and hugs me, "Thanks, Ana".

I hug him back, "You know Ethan there are such things as phones, you could have called, you didn't have to come here in person" I say.

He laughs and shakes his head, "I was actually passing so I thought I'd stop and drop in, in person rather than call, thanks again and I'll let you get on".

"No problem" I say

He hesitates, "I am really grateful for this Ana and a I assure you we won't be out late, it's going to be a big enough challenge to get her out in the first place, she isn't going to want to stay out for long."

I phone Christian as soon as Ethan leaves, "Hi" I say as he answers.

"Hi yourself," he says, clearly in the same good mood, he had this morning.

"How do you feel about doing a bit of babysitting?" I ask.

There is a long silence, "Babysitting?" he says eventually.

I explain about Ethan's visit and what he said.

"Sure, why not," he says.

We talk for a few minutes longer then he has to go. I settle and carry on with some work.

**oooOOOooo**

The following evening I am feeling excited and apprehensive at the same time, at 7 pm Ethan and Mia arrive. Mia is carrying baby Jonathan in his carrier and he is happily gurgling and wriggling. She also seems to have brought enough things for a week rather than an evening. She looks anxious to the point where it seems she is going to burst into tears at any moment; Christian puts his arm around her.

"He'll be fine with his Uncle Christian," he says gently lifting the car seat from Mia's hands.

She smiles at him and immediately launches into what to do in any possible eventuality. Ethan gently pulls her towards the door, as they are about to leave she turns back and smiles.

"Also, thank you for the flowers, they were lovely," she says, and with that, they are gone.

"Flowers?" I ask looking questioningly at Christian.

"I sent an arrangement for their anniversary" Christian explains as he lifts Jonathan out of his car seat.

I watch as he tucks the baby in the crook of one arm, whilst moving the car seat and then rummaging in the bag for some toys, he settles himself on the sofa and sits Jonathan on his lap, dangling various things in front of him and smiling down at him as he reaches for them. I watch unable to tear my eyes away. This man is one of the most successful, respected and sometimes ruthless businessmen in the United States, but at this moment he looks as far from a hotshot CEO as you can get. It reminds me of all the times he sat like that with our children when they were babies.

There has also been a change in him, since he had his confrontation with Elena and then again when Linc apologised. It seems he has laid something to rest, and let something go. He's still overprotective of me and the children and likes control, he will never change in that respect, but there is something different now and it's been different since that time. He looks up and sees me staring at him and smiles.

"This takes me back," he says softly.

The door opens and Isobel wanders in, she looks at the baby on Christians lap, "Who's that?" she asks.

"This is your cousin Jonathan, Aunty Mia and Uncle Ethan's son," Christian says smiling at her.

"Why is he here?" she asks.

"Because Aunty Mia and Uncle Ethan have gone out and they asked us to take care of him until they get back". Christian replies.

Isobel nods and goes to sit beside Christian "Can I hold him?" she asks, Christian smiles and nods at her and gently lifts the baby into her arms.

"Support his head," he says gently to her. She does as he says and she gazes down at the wriggling baby in her arms, and Christian hands her a toy, and she plays with it dangling it in front of him. She strokes his head gently and smiles at him.

I watch and find it difficult to believe that this gentle sweet little girl is the same one I was watching beating seven bells out of Claude the other day in her Krav Maga training. I look up as Alex barrels into the room, he stops dead when he sees Isobel holding the baby and he wanders over and as he puts his hand out to touch him, with lightning reactions Isobel reaches and grabs his arm to stop him.

"Careful, he's asleep" she hisses at him, then she lets go of Alex's arm and gently cradles Jonathan close to her.

Alex turns to Christian, "Who baby is it daddy?" he asks, and Christian explains who it is again. Satisfied but bored Alex wanders back upstairs, moments later the door opens again and Theo and Phoebe come in.

"Aww, a baby" Phoebe exclaims and walks over and gazes down at the sleeping baby in Isobel's arms.

Theo looks down and smiles, "Cute little guy!" he says, just as he says that Jonathan opens his eyes and looks at the people gathered around him.

"Can I hold him, dad?" Phoebe asks and sits down beside Isobel, Christian nods and reluctantly Isobel hands him over to her sister.

"Support his head," she says as she lowers him into Phoebe's arms. Theo has lost interest and comes over and hovers beside me.

"Mom, can I talk to you privately please?" he asks nervously.

"Sure," I say and I stand up, I look at Christian who shrugs as I leave the room with Theo following me. We walk into the kitchen and I pour myself a drink.

"Do you want one?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"No thanks" he says.

"What's up?" I ask leaning my hip against the work surface.

Theo looks at me hesitantly, "I want to give up athletics" he says.

My mouth drops open and I stare at him, "Why?" I ask.

"It's just not fun anymore, my heart isn't in it, and I don't care if I win or lose and so I just don't want to do it anymore," he says with a shrug.

I nod at him, but my intuition is telling there is more to this than he is letting on.

"Well it's your decision, but I don't want to do something you are going to regret."

Theo looks relieved, "Will you tell dad?" he asks quietly.

I smile at him but shake my head, "No Theo, you tell him, he won't mind, just tell him how you have told me, it will be fine".

"OK," he says but he doesn't look convinced.

"Wait here," I say, I turn and I go back into the lounge, Christian looks up at me as I speak to him.

"Christian, Theo wants to talk to you", I say and he immediately stands a worried expression on his face, as he passes me I grab his arm, "don't overreact I told him everything would be fine" I whisper to him.

Christian disappears into the kitchen, I pray Christian won't overreact, but something tells me he won't, after what seems like ages Christian reappears with his arm around the shoulder of his son, they are both laughing.

"Thanks, dad," Theo says and hugs his father tightly.

Christian ruffles his hair, and grins.

As he sits down, Theo disappears back upstairs. Christian looks at me with his eyebrows raised. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close.

"What? He says with a grin.

"Nothing, nothing at all," I say as I snuggle into his neck.

Phoebe has now gone, and Isobel has taken over charge of Jonathan, she has laid him down on the floor on the rug and is sitting beside him with his toys playing with him. She is seemingly oblivious to everyone around her, her attention fixed on the baby.

When Ethan and Mia arrive, Isobel is on the sofa with Jonathan sleeping peacefully in her arms, and Mia smiles at the sigh. The tension which was clearly visible on her face has now vanished. Isobel gently places Jonathan in his car seat and Christian fastens him in, then she picks up all the toys and puts them back in Mia's bag.

"Aunty Mia, can we look after Jonathan again?" she asks.

Mia smiles at her, and nods, "you can be my number one babysitter" she says to Isobel, who flings her arms around Mia's waist and hugs her tightly.

"Thanks for tonight, we needed it" Ethan says with a smile as he picks up the car seat.

"Anytime" Christian replies with a grin.

The next day I am thinking about Theo's sudden decision to quit athletics, I have been thinking back to the past few months and realise that this has been brewing for a while. He has not seemed enthusiastic and sometimes downright reluctant to go.

I decide to voice my concerns to Christian, I go and look for him and find him in his office, but as I walk in my heart sinks, he's busy and won't want to talk now, I hover in the doorway a moment wondering whether to say something or not, when he looks up and sees me standing there. He is talking on the phone and holds up his finger, I watch as he brings the call to an end and then he turns and smiles and leans back in his chair.

"Did you want something baby?" he asks.

I sigh, "Yes, I mean... if you're not too busy," I say still hovering.

"What's wrong baby," Christian asks his smile vanishing and a look of concern sweeping over his face. "You should know by now that I'm never too busy for you."

I walk towards him and sit on the edge of his desk, he shuffles his chair towards me and still sitting wraps his arms around my hips.

"I'm wondering what the real reason is behind Theo's sudden dismissal of athletics, I think there is more to this than he is letting on to us."

Christian frowns "yes I thought that too, but we will have to accept his decision".

"Hmm," I say "I'm not convinced" I run my hands down his arms.

My gut feeling is something has happened and he doesn't want to say, and if he doesn't want to say then I think it must be something bad. Or I could just be reading too much into what is a perfectly innocent situation.

"I'll let you get on," I say and ease myself off Christians desk; he stands and plants a kiss on my lips.

"Give me about half an hour to finish this and then I'm all yours and we will spend the rest of this Saturday doing something ok, perhaps head out to the boat for a bit?" he says looking down at me.

I nod and leave him to it.

I decide to go and speak to Phoebe to see if she knows anything, as they have been as thick as thieves recently and I am wondering if this has anything to do with Theo's sudden decision. I find Phoebe in her room with her sketch pad she is drawing a portrait of Christian, and a lump comes into my throat as I watch her, she turns and smiles as she sees me standing there.

"Do you like it? Its dad" she says.

"I can see it is, it's lovely" I reply.

She smiles at me.

"May I sit down?" I ask gesturing to the bed.

Phoebe shuffles along, "Sure," she says, "What's up?" she asks as I sit myself down beside her.

"Has Theo told you anything about his reasons why he's quitting athletics?" I ask.

Phoebe immediately looks uncomfortable and starts fidgeting with her pencil.

"Phoebe," I say gently.

She looks at me, "he made me promise not to tell, I told him he should tell you, not dad, because he will flip, but he should tell you, but he said he couldn't tell you because you would tell dad".

I am really starting to worry now, it seems like my intuition was correct. I look into my daughters face, I can see she really wants to tell me, but loyalty to her brother is stopping her, I put my arm around her, "It's ok" I say "I respect your decision, you made a promise to your brother".

I hear a noise and see Theo standing in the doorway looking white as a sheet.

"You told her," he says to Phoebe in an accusatory voice.

"No Theo I didn't" she protests, "But you have to, please Theo tell her".

"Ok Phoebe," I say, and give my daughter another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I stand to leave and on my way out I put my hand on Theo's shoulder, "You know where I am when you are ready to tell me" I say.

He looks at me with conflicting emotion he desperately wants to tell me but is afraid, of what though, my reaction? Christian's reaction? I sigh and go to walk away, but he stops me by grabbing my arm.

"Mom" he says tears are in his eyes.

"Tell her" Phoebe urges.

He sighs and his shoulders sag, he looks me in the eye "Are you going to tell dad?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No Theo, you are."

He inhales sharply and shakes his head "I can't, dad will kill him" he stops.

This puts me on full alert and my mind is now working overtime wondering what exactly has happened.

"Theo, I think you had better tell me what has happened and tell me now," I say trying not to show how much I am panicking now.

Theo moves and sits on Phoebe's bed, she immediately shuffles towards him and puts her arm around him, he sits looking at his fingers and I see tears rolling down his cheek.

"There is this boy in our group, Harry. He's about 14/15ish I'm don't know exactly, he was alright to start with but recently he's changed he won't leave me alone, he keeps picking fights and shoving me and threatening me, not just me he does it to some of the others but because I am so much younger he picks on me more and I was frightened."

I go cold, "Did he hurt you?" I whisper.

He shakes his head "I make sure I am not alone with him but he follows me and he frightens me mom".

He looks up at me with a bleak expression and immediately I am on my knees holding him in my arms as he breaks down and sobs. Phoebe is rubbing her hand up and down his back.

"Theo" a voice makes us all turn we see Isobel and she looks murderous. Her small hands are fisted at her side and she is stiff and trembling, we realise she has heard everything.

"Isobel," I say in a warning tone.

She completely ignores me, as she walks up to Theo grasps his hand, "You have to tell dad, you can't not tell him about this" she pleads.

"Tell dad what?" we all jump and see Christian standing looking expectantly at us he has his hand on the door frame, and he is leaning casually with his legs crossed at the ankle.

Theo looks at me panic-stricken and the look in his eyes is pleading with me not to say anything, but he hasn't taken into account Isobel, when she sees Theo isn't going to talk she turns and tells Christian everything. Christian stiffens and his hand's fist at his side, his stance identical to Isobel, Isobel walks towards her father and wraps her small hand around his, Christian looks at her and smiles but it's a tight smile which does not reach his eyes, he is angry and he is trying to contain it.

He looks at Theo, "Did he hurt you?" he asks.

Theo shakes his head, and Christian sighs and closes his eyes. Then he turns on his heel and walks away. I rise to my feet and follow pulling Theo with me. We see Christian heading into his office, and Theo and I follow whilst Phoebe and Isobel hover in the doorway. Christian picks up the phone and calls Theo's coach, Anthony Blair.

"Blair, Christian Grey here, my son has informed me that he wishes to quit athletics... that is correct... yes he has told me why... because a boy has been verbally and physically abusing him and he feels unsafe... yes... right... goodbye".

Christian puts the phone down with a little too much force which betrays exactly how angry he is at this moment.

Christian turns to Theo and holds his arms open and Theo hesitates a moment before he walks into them, and he folds his son in his arms.

"We will sort this out and it will stop, I promise you, I will fix this" Christian looks grim but I am so proud of him for not overreacting and losing it completely. Theo nods and sniffs loudly.

"Thanks, dad," he says.

Christian crouches and gestures to Phoebe and Isobel to come into his arms as well, "If anyone hurts, upsets or frightens you, you must tell us straight away so we can put it right do you all understand me?"

Three heads nodded in unison, just then Alex rushes in sees the group hug going on and launches himself into it, Christian repeats what he has just said to Alex and Alex shrugs.

"Nobody messes with me now, coz they are all scared of Izzy," he says, and Izzy smiles proudly. Christian's face breaks into a real smile and he hugs all his children to him.

Christian decides that we are going to head over to the athletics club to speak to Anthony in person, and find out what is going to be done about this boy. I knew he would want to do that as soon as he found out, as we arrive we are waiting to go in when we see a group of older boys training.

Theo goes white and freezes, his eyes fixed on one particular boy. Immediately Isobel is beside him, she slips her small hand into his.

"Is that him?" she whispers nodding to a small weedy looking boy standing slightly apart from the group, Theo nods, and before we can stop her she charges at him.

"ISOBEL" Christian bellows "COME HERE NOW!"

She completely ignores him and comes to a halt in front of the boy, he is head and shoulders above her, but she stands there fearlessly and glares at him. Christian goes move forward to drag her back but I hold him back.

"No" I say "just wait a moment".

The boy looks surprised, he looks at Izzy then glances over to Theo and a smile crosses his lips.

"Hiding behind your little sister Grey" he calls taunting Theo.

I am hanging on to Christians arm holding him from intervening and he is rippling with anger, the boy turns his attention to Izzy he looks at her with contempt and he shoves her, and he lifts his arm to hit her, but she reacts, and as he went to punch her his punch never met its target and it was the biggest mistake he could have made, he made the first move but Izzy well and truly finished it.

She moved with swift efficiency and the next thing he was on the floor and she was on top of him with her knee in his throat. He looks dazed and confused but he also looks terrified.

"Ana, let me go," Christian says through gritted teeth, "He's a child, I won't hurt him" he adds.

I reluctantly let Christian go and watch as he strides over to them and drags Isobel off.

"Fucking wildcat" the boy mutters as he picks himself up.

Christian swings around and fixed him with such an icy glare he visibly flinches.

Coach Anthony walks towards us he has obviously seen everything, "Harry you have been warned too many times, this is the last straw, you are out, I am no longer willing to train you, I have called your stepfather and he is on his way".

The boy suddenly looks terrified, "What did you tell him?" he whispers with panic clear in his voice.

"Everything" Anthony replied, "You have crossed a line with your filthy bullying, threatening a 13-year-old boy, you disgust me".

The boy looks petrified, "He'll kill me, you asshole, he will fucking kill me, this is the only place I am safe the only place I can get away from him, and now that's gone, shit, I didn't mean it I swear I didn't mean it".

He stares wildly around him and fixes his gaze on Theo who is just staring at him, "Tell him, tell him I didn't mean it, I never really hurt you did I? Theo, please, don't make me leave".

Christian is watching the boy closely, he can't take his eyes off him, he walks towards him and reaches out towards him, the boy flinches violently, and is backing away and cowering from Christians touch, as he sees his reaction Christian blanches, and he turns to Anthony.

"Call the police and Child Protection Services, I have strong reason to believe that this boy has been abused".

Anthony turns and runs inside, Christian slowly crouches down beside the trembling child, and talks gently to him as if he is a frightened animal.

"It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you, I want to help you, but to do that you need to tell me what has happened to you" he says gently. I watch as the boy nods through the tears which are now pouring down his cheeks.

"I didn't mean to, this is the only place I'm safe, he hurts me, he hurts me bad" he rambles.

Christian nods and holds his hand out, "Ok, well why don't we go inside and you tell me everything, and I will do what I can to help you, you have my word" he says.

I watch as the boy considers this, he takes another shot look at Theo who nods at him, "My dad will help you if he can" he says encouragingly.

The boy nods and wipes his face with a grimy hand and then places it in Christian's outstretched hand. Christian lifts the boy to his feet and leads him into the office.

I take the children and wait in the car and as we watch, the police arrive and also black car arrives. They park the cars out of the way and enter the building. A short while later a battered pickup truck screeches to a halt and before it has even stopped a large overweight scruffy man is out and charging towards to the office.

After what seems like ages the man reappears with his arms handcuffed behind him and he is pushed into the police car he is shouting and cursing and threatening everyone with a good thrashing and is not going quietly.

The police car pulls away, and moments later the boy is led out by a policewoman and 2 gentlemen in suits. He turns to Christian before he gets into the car and flings his arms around him, he points at our car and says something and Christian nods, he places his hand on the boy's shoulder and the boy nods.

Christian watches him climb into the black car and then turns and walks over to us, he slides into the driver's seat and starts the engine, I look at him and he looks grim and withdrawn. I touch his leg and he places his hand on top of mine, but doesn't say a word.

Christian looks in the rear view mirror at Theo in the back, "Harry has asked me to tell you he is very sorry for everything" he says quietly.

Theo nods, but doesn't say anything, but he looks shaken. Christian continues "You have no idea how much you have helped that boy by telling us what he did to you".

He doesn't say anything else but from what he has said I realise there is much more to tell. I try and change the subject to try to lighten the oppressive atmosphere in the car.

"So what are we going to do with the rest of our Saturday?" I say brightly.

"Well for starters we are going to get something to eat" Christian states firmly.

He pulls into a restaurant car park, and pulls out his phone, he presses a button, he is phoning Taylor he tells him where we are and then hangs up.

After a delicious lunch and then a wonderful afternoon on our boat, it is getting dark as we head home. By the time we get back Alex and Isobel have fallen asleep and Phoebe and Theo both look close to joining them.

After the children have been put to bed, Christian and I finally have time to talk. He is sitting on the sofa in his hand he is holding a glass of whiskey and I am snuggled up under his other arm.

"What happened today?" I ask tentatively.

Christian sighs deeply and tosses back the whiskey, "That is one fucked up child," he says grimly, and pulls me closer. I gently stroke his arm and he places a kiss in my hair.

"He lives with his stepfather, the animal who came and was taken away by the police. He has never known his real father, and his mother died a few months ago. Since then his stepfather has gone to pieces with the loss, and has started drinking heavily, Harry has become a punch bag... and worse," he stops and shakes his head, and I go cold.

"You don't mean he's been..." I stop and Christian nods.

"Oh, the poor child" I am horrified. But it completely explains his behaviour, as he must have been in utter turmoil.

"He has been taken to the hospital to be examined, I phoned mom and make sure that she would be there to deal with him, and she is going to take care of him. I've arranged for him to be in her care, while he is in hospital she will look after him and I am paying his hospital bills".

I stand and grasp his hand and he leads me upstairs.

I nod "What will happen to his stepfather?" I ask.

Christian shrugs, "he certainly needs help," he says, "but he is not my concern he is a grown man who made the wrong choices."

Christian's phone rings and he fumbles in his pocket to answer it "Mom" he says then he stiffens and I watch as he closes his eyes and he winces.

"That bad... where is he now?... then what?... I see, take care of him, mom... thank you, yes bye mom" he hangs up.

He turns to me and almost squeezes me, he hugs me so close.

"He has evidence of damage on his body which is synonymous with the classic signs of sexual and violent abuse," he says quietly. "He is in hospital as long as it takes to repair the physical damage. I am going to arrange for Flynn to see him to help him with the mental wounds."

I nod but lie silently in his arms.

He stands suddenly I look up at him, he holds his hand out to me. "Come on baby lets go to bed, it's late".


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

I am lying in bed and it is still quite early but I can't sleep, I turn my head and start watching Christian sleep. It's not very often I get this gift, he has often confessed to sitting just watching me while I sleep and he has even taken photos of me in an unconscious state. At first I thought it was a bit creepy but seeing Christian, who at this moment is sleeping quietly beside me looking so… innocent, let's just say now I have tried it I can definitely see the appeal.

My reason for being able to ogle my sleeping husband is because I am worrying about him. I am concerned because I believe that the situation with Harry has affected Christian more than he is letting on to me. As I lay there looking at him, he rouses and opens his eyes, he stretches and rolls towards me wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me towards him.

"You are awake very early this morning," he says as he nuzzles against my neck.

"I was worrying about you," I say.

He stops nuzzling and pulls me away from him looking at me incredulously.

"Why on earth would you be worrying about me?" he asks.

"Everything that happened yesterday" I mutter, now feeling uncomfortable and wishing I'd not said anything.

He sighs at me and smiles "Oh baby I'm fine don't worry about me".

He pulls me into his arms and starts caressing me gently, "Let me rid you of all the worry baby" he says seductively in my ear and then in one swift move he is on top of me.

He is pushing my knees apart and settling between my legs. I feel him pepper my body with kisses and he mouth lingers on my breast and his tongue caresses my nipples into firm stiff peaks, I moan as he moves lower and his hands move restlessly over my body. Then his mouth is between my legs I moan again and I part my legs wider to give him better access and before I know it he is looming over me and pushing himself inside me.

I feel him as he inches his way in and my body grip him accepting him and pulling him in. Once he is fully sheathed inside me he starts to move, slowly at first and I meet his thrusts with my own and while he is moving and I feel him inside me he continues to stroke and kiss my body, he picks up the pace and moves faster and I move with him and like we always do we have our perfect rhythm moving in unison. We are both chasing our release now and the pressure and intense feelings of pleasure build to the point of no return, we are both grunting now and moaning until that moment where I feel the rush, the warmth of my orgasm and I cry out gripping Christian close and then after a couple more thrusts he stills and groans loudly as he holds himself deep inside. He throws his head back and calls out my name as I feel him erupt deep inside and leaves his scorching warm essence deep inside me. He collapses on top of me and we are both panting and spent.

"I think you have rid me of my worry" I whisper and I feel Christian shudder as he chuckles quietly, his head is buried in my neck and I feel him kiss me.

"Did that feel good baby?" he says his voice muffled but I don't miss the smugness coming from him.

"Oh god yes" I say.

After a shower and a late breakfast we are sitting in the lounge. I am going through some manuscripts and Christian is ploughing through some spreadsheets. We have music on in the background but we are not really paying any attention to it. We are distracted by Christians phone which rings, he peers at the screen and answers.

"Mom," he says and listens.

"Ok I'll come now" he hangs up and he looks worried.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"I don't know Mom has just asked me to meet her at the hospital". I realise immediately this has something to do with Harry and I wonder if I should go with him.

"Do you want me to come with you?" I ask gathering together my manuscripts but he shakes his head.

"No baby, I won't be long". He stands and grabs his jacket and leans down to plant a swift kiss on my lips before leaving the room.

Two hours later he returns looking grim, but also there is something else, and I can't place what it is. I run to him and wrap my arms around him, he pulls me close and buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply, I know he always does this to calm himself so I know something has happened and I wait for him to tell me.

"What's happened?" I whisper gently.

Christian gestures towards the sofa and we move and sit down, he wraps his arm around me and sighs deeply, he rubs his fingers over his forehead and then grasps my hand. He has me pinned to him.

"Harry is a very lucky boy, the list of physical injuries he has on his body is quite horrific" he pauses, and looks carefully at me.

"Flynn has been to see him as well, and is confident he can help him, but the point now is he is ready to be discharged but he has nowhere to go. Mom has offered to take him for the time being but he needs something long term. The authorities are trying to trace any family, apparently Harry told them that there is an aunt – his mother's sister but he hasn't seen her since he was quite young, his grandparents are dead, and he has never known his biological father so that is a non-starter, the only other choice is... I don't want him to go into foster care".

"What are you saying Christian, do you want to bring him here?" I turn and look straight up at him.

"Yes" he answers quietly.

I sigh I know Christian feels responsible but he has our children to consider before he makes monumental decisions like this.

"Christian, that's all very noble and everything but how do you think Theo would feel about having his tormentor living in the same house?" Christian nods at me.

"I know, Theo comes first obviously, but this boy he..." he stops and shakes his head, "Where are the children?" he asks.

"Phoebe is in the meadow sketching, Izzy is in the gym, Theo is in his room reading and Alex is outside kicking a ball around with Sawyer".

"Right" he thinks for a moment and then stands suddenly "I'm going to talk with Theo."

He disappears upstairs moments later he reappears with Theo at his side, he gestures to the sofa beside me and Theo sits down looking nervous. I grasp Theo's hand tightly as Christian sits down and leans towards him his hands clasped in front of him.

"Theo, we need to know how you would feel about the idea of Harry coming to stay here - just for a while?" Christian says.

Theo looks shocked, his mouth drops open and he fidgets. I can't believe what I am hearing and I stare at Christian in shock, he has totally disregarded Theo's feelings about this, and is now trying to railroad him into agreeing. This boy has been tormenting and bullying our son but before I can say anything Theo opens his mouth to speak.

"I don't know," he says "Why is he coming here?"

"It's not decided yet" Christian assures him, "But he has nowhere else to go, Grandma Grace has taken him in for the time being, the authorities are trying to trace any family he has, but if they can't, he can't stay with Grandma because... well, they are not getting any younger so his only other option would be to go into foster care."

Theo sighs, "Well he was nice originally, he seemed to change about six months or so ago, that's when he started bullying people and being really angry all the time and making threats".

At that moment the door flies open and Phoebe and Isobel come in they stop when they see the discussion going on.

"What's going on?" Phoebe asks looking around.

"Dad wants to know how I feel about Harry coming to live here," Theo says.

"It's not decided yet" Christian puts in quickly.

Isobel shakes her head "NO!" she shouts "he's a bad person."

Theo shakes his head "No, he's not Izzy, bad things have happened to him and made him act in a bad way, but he's not a bad person, not really".

He looks at Christian, "I'm ok with it, as long as he doesn't start bullying me again because everyone deserves a second chance."

Phoebe looks less convinced by this, and Isobel looks downright hostile.

"He lays one finger on anyone and I will kill him," she says with such venom it's frightening.

Christian rises to his feet and opens his arms out to her, she walks into them and wraps her small arms around his waist.

"No you won't Isobel, you will behave in a kind and understanding manner and you will make him feel welcome, so he doesn't feel threatened or victimised, because he has been threatened and victimised enough already".

Isobel looks up sceptically at Christian. "For me," Christian asks deploying his ultimate weapon, and I watch as Isobel caves and smiles weakly at him.

"OK dad, for you, but I'm telling you if he does anything..." she stops as Christian hugs her tightly.

"He won't do anything" Christian assures her.

We are interrupted by the whirlwind that is Alex coming tearing into the room. He stops dead when he sees everyone and then hurtles across the room and flings himself on to the sofa next to Theo, his eyes are bright and his face is flushed.

"What have you been doing?" Christian asks smiling at him indulgently.

"Playing soccer with Sawyer, and I scored twice," he says proudly.

Christian laughs "Good for you, listen, Alex, I have something to tell you, someone is going to be staying with us for a while, so you must make him feel welcome and be nice to him, ok?"

Alex nods "Ok daddy," he says simply.

Christian rummages in his pocket for his phone and presses a speed dial number.

"Mom, it's ok we have discussed it and he can come here... yes... everyone is fine with it... yes, ok bye" He throws his phone on to the table, and shouts Gail.

"Yes, Mr Grey," she says as she bustles through the door.

"Gail we will be having someone who is going to be staying with us for a while, his name is Harry, he is..." he pauses, "a friend of Theo's, he has been through a very rough time recently and I want everyone to show him some kindness and make him feel welcome".

"Certainly Mr Grey, I will go and make up a bed, which room shall I use?"

Christian thinks for a moment "The front one, that way he won't be too isolated from everyone".

I smile, that room is furthest away from Theo so while Harry won't be isolated from the rest of the family he also won't be too close to Theo and make him feel threatened or uncomfortable.

Gail nods "I'll get right on it. When will he be arriving?"

Christian thinks again, "He is with my mother at the moment at Bellevue, I don't want to uproot him again so soon, so it will probably be next week sometime, but I will give you plenty of notice before it happens".

Gail nods again "Is that all sir?" she asks.

"Yes," Christian replies "except, how long will lunch be, I'm starving?"

"Ready when you are," she says and turns to leave.

Christian looks around, "Come on let's go and get some lunch."

We all make our way out to the kitchen and as we do so Christian reaches for me and puts his arms around me and pulls me to his side.

"Everything ok baby?" he asks looking at me anxiously.

I nod as I realise that Christian is only trying to do the right thing and trying to make sure nobody is uncomfortable with the decision and he kisses my forehead and I see the relief on his face.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" he whispers in my ear

I giggle "You may've mentioned it a few time" I say and with that we go to get some lunch.

**oooOOOooo**

That week we spend time making sure everything is in place for Harry's arrival. From what Christian has said he has responded well to Flynn's help and to Grace and Carrick's care. Carrick has commented how sorry he will be to see him leave and I get the impression from Grace that she has grown fond of him in the short time he has been with them.

It is the following Thursday evening before Harry finally arrives with us; Christian and Taylor go to fetch him and his small bundle of belongings. Christian leads him into the lounge and he looks absolutely petrified. This has to be overwhelming for him, Grace and Carrick have a nice home but it is nothing compared to the scale of ours. Theo walks straight over to him and slaps him on the back.

"Hey dude, how are you?" he asks. 

Harry looks shocked at the kind gesture and a grateful smile appears on his face, "I'm ok" he says quietly.

Christian is standing watching the two boys, clearly affected by the moment, so I quickly step in.

"Harry, would you like me to show you to your room, so you can unpack, and I'll show you where everything is so you can make yourself at home."

Harry looks at me and nods "Thank you Mrs Grey" he says politely.

He looks in awe at the room when we go in, "This is for me?" he asks quietly.

I nod and smile kindly at him, "I'll leave you for a moment to settle in and unpack and let you get your bearings then I'll show you round ok."

He nods again; I can see he is totally overwhelmed it takes me back to the first time Christian took me to Escala when we first met. I felt totally out of my depth then, so I know how he is feeling. I reach out towards him and he looks startled, I stop and quickly withdraw my hand.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to frighten you," I say "You just look so lost."

He swallows and tears well up in his eyes, "I miss my mom," he says quietly, "Mrs Grey was so kind to me while I stayed with her" he says.

I slowly step towards him and open my arms, he hesitates and then walks into them, I wrap my arms around him rocking him gently as he breaks down and sobs uncontrollably in my arms. I don't know how long we stand there, him clinging to me and letting it all out. When he is finally all cried out he takes a deep breath sniffs loudly and pulls away.

"I'm sorry," he says, "I don't know why you are all bothering with me especially after I behaved like such a shit towards Theo" he pauses and realises what he has said, "sorry," he says again.

"Hey, don't be sorry, you needed to do that and it was a good thing you did," I say kindly to him, "and don't talk silly, we are bothering with you because we care, and just so you know we visit Grace and Carrick very regularly" I add with a grin.

I see him smile weakly at that, "It's the first time I have cried since my mom died, Hank didn't like crying he said only women cried" he stops speaking and looks down at his hands. "Hank was... is my stepfather, he was a good dad, the only one I ever knew, but he was strict and if I stepped out of line I'd feel the back of his hand, but when mom died he changed."

He shivers and his face darkens as he is remembering things which should happen to no child. I gently lead him over to the bed and sit beside him and hold his hand as he continues to talk.

"He started drinking, I mean he always liked a drink, but it got to be a problem after mom died - a big problem. He started getting really drunk something he had never done before, I never knew what state he'd be in when I came home and I quickly discovered that he's a mean drunk, he picked fights and... it was horrible, but it was the other stuff he just changed into... I don't know a monster" he pauses and then turns and looks at me he has a look of fear and shame in his eyes which breaks my heart to see.

"I am so sorry for what I did to Theo, he's a good kid, I don't know what I was thinking, I am so messed up, I just wanted someone else to feel as bad as I did, he's smart though and he kept out of my way and I'm glad now that he did and that he told someone what I was doing, because I needed help, I don't want to end up like Hank".

I put my arm around him and he flinches, I am taken back to when Christian flinched and froze at my touch.

He turns and looks at me "You remind me of my mom too" he says quietly "you have kind eyes, my mom had kind eyes too, hers were brown though" he says.

I stand up, "I'll give you a few moments to yourself," I say.

He reaches out and grabs my arm, "Please" he says, "don't go, don't leave me".

I smile and sit back down on the bed, I turn my attention to his collection of bags. "Shall I help you unpack?" I ask.

He nods and starts opening the bags.

I hear the sound of running feet, "MOM WHERE ARE YOU?" I hear the shout and smile.

"I'm up here Alex" I shout back.

The next thing Alex hurtles into the room, he stops when he sees Harry, and the two boys stare at each other.

"Alex, this is Harry, who will be staying with us for a while, do you remember - daddy told you on Sunday?"

Alex nods, "Hi," he says to Harry and he beams at him.

I turn to Harry, "Harry, this is my youngest son Alex."

"Hi Alex," he says quietly.

"How old are you?" Alex asks.

"Alex, don't be rude," I say.

"It's ok Mrs Grey" Harry replies, "I'm 14 how old are you, Alex?"

"I'm nearly 7 but I'm 6 now," he says.

Harry laughs and it is good to hear. More figures appear in the doorway and Harry's face drops when he sees Isobel.

"Harry this is my daughter Phoebe, and you have met Isobel," I say ruefully.

"Hello, Harry" Phoebe says with a genuinely kind smile.

It makes Harry relax, "Hello Phoebe," he says then he takes a shot look at Isobel, "Hi," he says warily.

"Hello," she says curtly but to her credit she does make the effort to smile, but I don't fail to notice that it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Isobel, can you go to the linen cupboard and fetch a bath and hand towel for Harry please," I ask thinking Harry will relax more if Isobel is out of the way and not standing there radiating hostility.

"Sure," she says and turns on her heel and disappears.

"Don't mind Izzy" Phoebe says with a smile as she sits down on the bed, "she's like dad she has this weird thing about protecting everyone, and you hurt Theo so she doesn't trust you yet but you'll get used to her."

Harry nods "Thanks, and I understand that what I did was wrong, I know that and it's a good thing to be protective of the ones you love, its good to know you guys have people who always have your back, my mom used to be like that for me... before she died" he stops and swallows hard.

Isobel has reappeared and heard what he said, she holds out the towels to him, "here you are" she says in a slightly gentler voice.

"Thank you Isobel, and I'm sorry I hurt your brother, and you can throw a mean punch! I was shocked I didn't expect you to be so strong, you have some real talent," he says earnestly.

Isobel smiles and this time it reaches her eyes, "Thanks" she says proudly, she looks at me and then leaves.

We help Harry unpack; Phoebe shows him his bathroom and then says "Would you like me to show you around so you know where everything is?"

He smiles at her and nods enthusiastically.

I watch them disappear with a smile.

As we are sitting waiting for Gail to bring in the dinner, Harry has withdrawn again, he is sitting looking at the table and he is nervous and tense. Christian appears and sits down beside him, and he withdraws, even more. Christian senses his discomfort and moves away slightly.

"Have you unpacked and made yourself at home?" he asks kindly.

Harry nods "yes thank you, Mr Grey," he says politely.

Christian smiles at him and doesn't say anything else. Gail comes through the door, and she nearly drops the huge dish of chicken stew she is carrying as she stops dead when she sees Harry, she walks slowly towards him.

"Harry? Harry is that you?" she says as she places the dish on the table.

Harry turns suddenly reacting to the voice, "Aunty Louise?" he says and he leaps to his feet and throws himself into her arms. Christian looks astounded and we all sit with our mouths hanging open. The only thing going through my head though is the fact he called Gail Louise.

Gail quickly pulls herself together, and Christian pulls out his phone, and standing up he quickly leads Gail and Harry into the lounge and I get up and follow.

"Wait here," I say to everyone around the table as I leave the room.

Gail is sitting on the sofa with Harry clinging to her; tears are streaming down his cheek. Christian is talking to the authorities on his phone informing them Harry's relative has been found and found closer to home than anyone would have ever believed.

"I thought your sister lived in Portland?" Christian says, slightly confused at the turn of events.

"She does, but that's Helen, my other sister. Harry's mother is my baby sister Jolie, we lost contact years ago, the last time I saw Harry he was eight".

"I don't understand, your name should have popped up straight away as soon as they started checking for relatives," Christian says frowning as he tries to understand.

Gail smiles, "Jolie didn't want anyone to find her – I only managed it by accident, so she always told people my middle name when she spoke of me so she couldn't be linked to me, did the name Louise Banks come up by any chance?"

Christian nods looking shocked and the reason Harry called her Louise becomes clear.

Gail smiles, "Gail Louise Banks was my maiden name, Jolie had... issues" she shrugs then squeezes Harry to her.

"Mom's dead," Harry says suddenly "She died about six months ago in a car crash".

"Oh, Harry" Gail hugs him, "What about Hank?" as she says those words Harry visibly stiffens and then starts trembling.

Christian sits down in front of Gail and explains the situation, she listens and looks horrified, she pulls Harry closer and gently strokes his arm and then she looks up at Christian.

"Where is he now?" she asks her voice now hard with an undertone of anger.

"In police custody" Christian replies.

Gail nods and continues to hug Harry, she runs her hands soothingly up and down his back and he responds by snuggling closer to her side.

Christian smiles, "Listen Gail take the rest of the night off, actually," he thinks for a moment, "Take as long as you need, we'll survive" he glances at me and I nod determinedly.

Gail turns to Harry, "Well it's a no brainer that I am going to claim you but do you want to stay here or do you want to move over to our apartment, with me and Jason, I'll leave it up to you?"

Harry nods, but then looks sheepishly at Christian, "I'd like to stay with you Aunty Lo…Gail, if that's ok with you Mr Grey?" he asks.

Christian smiles "Harry I wouldn't dream of making you stay here if you'd sooner stay with your aunt".

Harry beams and for the first time he starts to fully relax as he and Gail leave the room. Christian watches them go, and I walk over and slip my arm around Christian's waist.

"Come on I'll dish up dinner lets go and eat".

**oooOOOooo**

_Three weeks later..._

Three weeks have passed and things have settled, I am watching Harry out of the window of the SUV which I am in and which has just pulled up. He is helping Taylor with the motorbike Taylor has been restoring for what seems like forever. I smile as I see them; Taylor is patiently explaining something and showing Harry how to do something. He has been such a good influence on Harry, calm and reliable he has become the loving father whom Harry needs and he is slowly beginning to trust that nobody is going to hurt him again, which after what he has been through is an amazing thing. He has a long way to go but all the signs are good.

I climb out of the car and make my way to the house, "Hi Taylor, Hi Harry" I shout as I cross the drive, Taylor looks up and smiles.

"Mrs Grey," he says with a nod.

"Hi, Mrs Grey" Harry calls and waves at me.

I wander into the house and throw myself on to the sofa, it's been a busy day at work and I'm shattered. I glance up to see Gail wandering through the lounge with a huge pile of washing.

"Oh Ana, Jose phoned he wants to talk to you about the wedding arrangements".

I frown, "oh ok," I say I am a little confused I was under the impression everything had been sorted and we were just waiting now for the big day.

I pick up my phone and call him, I wait and when he answers I immediately hear the stress in his voice.

"Jose, what's wrong?" I ask.

"Oh Ana, you are not going to believe what has happened, the place we were going to get married has gone bust we have lost our booking and our money, Sophie is heartbroken".

"Oh Jose I'm so sorry" I have no idea what else to say but I feel bad for him.

Just at that moment, Christian appears, tugging off his tie he walks towards me and plants a kiss on my forehead. I smile and mouth 'It's Jose' to him, Christian immediately smiles and gestures to the phone.

"Jose," I say, "Christian is here he wants to talk to you" I quickly hand the phone over to him.

"Hi Jose, how are the wedding plans coming along?" he says and I am gesturing wildly at him to stop and shut up, but I am guessing Jose is explaining the situation to him on the phone.

Christian's mouth drops open "You're kidding... seriously?... I don't think so, you can't do that... why don't you have the wedding here, after all, Sophie has spent a lot of time here... Of course, I mean it, listen just talk it over with Sophie, see what she says and come over and take a look to see if it would work for you, no problem Jose, bye" he hands the phone back to me.

"Jose are you there?" I say.

"Ana, you have one generous husband he has just said we can use your house for our wedding, are you ok with that?" Jose sounds so excited.

"Of course I am," I say happy we can help our friend.

"Thank you so much I was thinking we would have to postpone or settle for city hall" Jose's voice is full of emotion, "Thank you both so much – you're the best!"

Later on that week Jose and Sophie come around to take a look at where they want to hold the ceremony, as soon as Sophie sees Christian she flings her arms around him and thanks him profusely, he laughs brushing his generosity aside dismissively.

Gail and Taylor appear and help Sophie decide what she wants, Taylor is determined he is going to be giving his girl the best of everything. I pull Christian away, as goes to join them.

"What?" he says.

"Leave them to it, it's their wedding let them decide," I say.

"I was going to offer to help out financially," he says.

"No Christian you can't do that," I say frantically.

"Why not?" he says, as he folds his arms and is glaring at me.

"Because it's not your place to; it's Taylor's he is her father, do you want him to feel totally emasculated? You are providing a venue for them that is all, the rest is up to them".

"I've helped Taylor out in the past," he says sulkily.

I smile and reach for him, "Christian, how would you feel if someone tried to take your place and offer to pay when it comes to Phoebe or Isobel getting married?"

His eyes shoot up to mine, and I just stare right back holding his gaze and I see the moment where it dawns on him what I am getting at.

"Did Ray feel bad because I took over our wedding?" He asks suddenly.

I shake my head, "No, but Ray is a totally different case. Taylor still thinks of Sophie as his little girl, especially given what she went through when her mother died; and I'm not totally convinced he is 100% happy about her marrying Jose, but he wants her to be happy."

Christian nods, "Ok then I'll leave them to it," he says capitulating completely.

My mouth drops open, I can't help thinking that it was too easy, as he never capitulates this easily, but I go with the flow and I hug him tightly.

"I'll pay for the honeymoon, as our wedding present to them," he says as he holds me I pull away and look up to see him glaring at me again and daring me to disagree with him.

I smile and sigh, "Ok, if it makes you happy" I concede.

"Good," he says and then he strides outside to Jose and Sophie. I see him telling them and Jose shakes his hand and I can see him thanking him and Sophie looks overjoyed, I see Christian turn to Taylor and he shakes Christian's hand too.

As we assumed they would, Jose and Sophie decide they want to use our outside room that Gia designed for the venue. I can't help thinking that is a fantastic idea with the backdrop of the wonderful view of sound it will be just perfect, plus with the roof if the weather turns out to be poor there will be adequate shelter for the guests. Preparations are set into motion and plans are made, I can see it is killing Christian not to have total control but he is handling it better than I thought he would.

Phoebe and Isobel had already been asked to be Sophie's bridesmaids, Phoebe was delighted but Isobel wasn't too keen on the idea. The thought of wearing a dress didn't appeal to her in the slightest, but she loved Sophie and thought the world of Jose so she agreed to make the sacrifice.

A few days later, I am at work when my phone rings, "Ana Grey" I say as I answer it.

"Hi, Ana" Jose's warm voice comes over the line.

"Jose, how are you?" I exclaim.

"Just great thanks, listen can I drop off the rings for you, we have them now and I think they will be safer with you than with me, you know what I'm like," he says brightly.

I laugh "Of course you can Jose, whenever you like!"

"By the way, you do know it is up to the best man normally to organise the bachelor party," he says his voice full of humour.

I laugh, "I can do that Jose if you want me to, where do you want to go and what do you want to do?"

There is a silence, "Seriously you'd organise one for me? I was joking" he says in surprise after a few moments.

"Yes but it wouldn't be your traditional type of party, after all they are not normally organised by a woman." 

"I'd just love to go out with you and Kate, Ethan and Christian for a few drinks it would be cool just to hang out together," he says seriously.

"No problem I can organise that," I say.

"I knew I'd made the right decision making you my best man!" he says "Listen got to go, bye for now Ana... and thanks for everything".

"Bye Jose and you are welcome," I say I hang up and smile.

**oooOOOooo**

I am looking around the table at the club, Christian is in deep conversation with Ethan, I smile at him. As soon as I had told him about the bachelor party he had assumed control of organising the whole thing.

I had told him what Jose wanted and he had agreed, and so I let him do it knowing that it would make him feel better about not having any control whatsoever over the wedding preparations. He has done Jose proud, we have had a delicious dinner at one of Christian's favourite restaurants and now we are in a club.

I find it funny that it is a bachelor party, normally a female-free zone but Kate and I are there sharing Jose's night. Kate is very quiet I am worried about her, she seems to be withdrawing. I know Elliot is making more of an effort with the girls and is making good on his vow to be a better father, but something else is bugging her, and at the moment she isn't prepared to talk about it. All I can do is be there for her and be ready for when she is ready to talk.

Jose is the life and soul of the party and even Taylor seems to be having a good time. Christian told him about the party and he made it that Taylor was going to be there as a guest and as father of the bride and not in his capacity as security, as he thought it would be good for him to bond with Jose a bit more. Taylor isn't drinking alcohol, instead he is sitting with a mineral water. I see him taking note of how much Jose is drinking and how he is behaving tonight, I watch as Jose turns to Taylor and I shamelessly listen in to their conversation.

"Jason I just want to say I am so thankful to you for giving us your blessing I know you are not totally happy especially with the big age gap but I love her and I swear to you I will make her happy for the rest of her life," he says.

Taylor nods and smiles, "that's all I want," he says quietly, and he slaps Jose on the shoulder. A different song starts to play, and I have the urge to get up and dance, I pull Kate to her feet.

"Come on let's dance," I say she smiles and follows me to the dance floor. Jose jumps to his feet and follows and moments later Ethan joins us, but Christian and Taylor remain at the table just watching us and smiling widely.

When we return I throw myself on to the seat next to Christian, I am flushed and feeling a little fuzzy as I have drunk far too much tonight. Christian places a large glass of water in front of me and looks at me in that way which says 'drink it now'. I grin and down it in a most unladylike manner and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

When the evening comes to an end Christian and I make our way home, and by the time we get back Christian has to wake me. He gently lifts me out the car and carries me into the house. When we reach our room he carries me straight to the bathroom, he brushes my hair and removes my makeup, then he undresses me and pulls my nightdress over my head, as he does it he lets his hands slide slowly down my body.

"Come on baby, let's get to bed," he says seductively but before we climb into bed he hands me two Advil tablets and a glass of water. I smile at him and take them without any fuss. If I am honest I like it when Christian takes care of me like this.


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

"Ana, are you ready?"

An anxious shout reaches my ears. I follow the voice and find Jose, who is pacing in circles in our lounge, and I smile sympathetically at his obvious edginess and worry as I walk towards him.

"Will you stop pacing!" he looks up and grins at me stopping in his circuit around the room.

When I reach him I give him a hug and I feel he is trembling as he is so nervous, "I am here and I'm ready, and everything has gone according to plan so far and will continue to do so," I say trying to reassure him and calm his nerves.

He turns to look at me and he truly looks petrified, he is all dressed up in a tux, and I have to admit he scrubs up well, but it is also an unusual sight, I don't think I have ever seen Jose look so formally dressed, and I smile at him.

"Ready?" I ask gently.

"Yes," he replies firmly. "Tell me, you have the rings?" he says.

I roll my eyes, this is about the fifth time today he has asked that question I don't say anything but just tap my clutch bag, he sighs and holds his arm out to me.

"Will you calm down, you'll be having a heart attack at this rate, you are getting married Jose, Sophie loves you, and today is going to be a huge success" I say.

I watch as he thinks about that and relaxes a little and he offers me a small grin, "I'm getting myself in a bit of a state aren't I?" he says ruefully.

"Ya think!" I retort sarcastically as I slip my arm in his and make my way to the outside room overlooking the beautiful view over the sound. As I look around at the transformed area, there are ribbons and flowers everywhere I am happy that we could do this for my friend.

Jose and Sophie had been let down by the place they were planning to hold the wedding at, and Christian had stepped in straight away and offered our home as the venue. Sophie was delighted, she had confided in me that she really wanted to have her wedding here as she had considered this her home for many years loved the times she had spent here as a child, but felt it would be too much to ask.

At this moment though she's with Taylor just over the driveway at the home Taylor has lived in with Gail since we came here. As we take our seats Jose glances over to Taylor's apartments and I feel him tense again.

I put my hand over his, "Calm down" I whisper to him.

I look around at people arriving; Christian, Theo and Alex have already taken their seats; Phoebe and Isobel are bridesmaids so will arrive with Sophie. Kate, Ava and Zoe are sitting behind Christian and Kate has a faraway look in her eyes. The rest of the security team are here and it seems strange to see them dressed up for a wedding. I see some people I don't know sitting by themselves, I nudge Jose.

"Who are they?" I ask.

Jose looks towards where I am discreetly nodding, "My aunt and her family," he says, "my aunt is my mom's sister and she my dad don't get on, I'm actually surprised she came" he adds.

I see Jose's father is sitting with my dad and they are both chatting amiably with Christian.

I see some other people I don't recognise, and before I can ask Jose whispers "They are all Sophie's relations, that woman there is Jason's sister Tanya, with her husband Tom and their kids and that man over there are her mother's brother and his wife.

I stare at Tanya and see the family resemblance between her and Taylor. I didn't know Taylor had a sister; he has been with us for years and with Christian for a number of years before I met him and yet there is so much I still don't know about him.

I look across to Gail who is sitting waiting with Harry beside her. He has settled well, and is a totally different boy in the short time since he has been in Gail and Taylor's care and he has grown in confidence. He is becoming a lovely young man. He has grown incredibly close to Taylor who treats him like the son he never had, and he adores Christian who he looks upon as another surrogate father. He is doing exceedingly well at school, Christian and Taylor moved him to Theo and Phoebe's school and Christian pays the fees. He is a very bright boy and finally seems to be getting the break in life that he deserves.

Suddenly, the piano starts playing, and silence falls, everyone looks around and Sophie is walking towards Jose on the arm of her father. She looks stunning in her long fitted white dress, it is a simple design completely plain except for a covering of lace over the white satin on the bodice, it is simple and elegant and reminds me a little of the dress I wore when I married Christian. Taylor looks so proud and he walks confidently forward his eyes fixed straight ahead. Jose's eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees her and he smiles widely, his love for her evident on his face.

He takes a step towards her, I reach out and hold on to his arm, "Easy tiger" I whisper in his ear.

He stops and waits for her to reach him and I see him devouring her with his eyes, I know exactly what is going through his mind as that look is one I am also familiar with, it is the same one that someone not a million miles away gives me regularly. I glance over at Christian and as our eyes meet he smiles at me, my stomach lurches and my inside melts.

I smile back and to stop the carnal thoughts threatening to invade my mind I start thinking back over the past few weeks. Christian had wanted to help out financially until I had pointed out that it wasn't up to him and not his place to usurp either Taylor or Jose.

Christian had for the first time backed down on the condition he was allowed to pay for the honeymoon as our gift to them. Sophie and Jose were delighted and Taylor had agreed to this and everyone was happy. Gail and Taylor had arranged everything and Christian had given them carte blanche to do what they wanted.

It was a beautiful service. I stood proudly beside Jose as his best woman! I look over at Taylor who is gripping Gail's hand and bursting with pride at his daughter. Gail is dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief and I smile, she unwaveringly took the role as stepmother and confidant to Sophie when she first came here as a frightened child who had just lost her mother in a terrible car crash in which she had also been injured.

Jose and Sophie had written their own vows, as they said them looking into each other's eyes, I turn and look at Christian again and smile, remembering our wedding day. He looks back at me his eyes glazed with emotion.

A marquee had been put up for the reception and the festivities afterwards. I am sitting on the top table as Jose's 'best man', I am sitting between Jose and his father, I keep looking across to Christian who does not take his eyes off me once. 

Jose stands to make his speech, he looks nervous, "Ok then, well thank you to everyone for coming and helping to share this special day, I want to say a huge thank you to Christian and Ana for letting us take over their home," he raises his glass to Christian and then smiles down at me. Christian nods in acknowledgement and raises his own glass.

"I have known Ana since we were at university together, and she seemed the only choice to be my best man... woman, person, and she is going to have her say in a minute but the person I really want to talk about and who I thank my lucky stars I met is this beautiful woman right here." He looks down at Sophie and touches her face.

"Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world!" he says. He glances at Taylor, "I can't mention my beautiful wife without a word about that guy sitting right there, Jason thank you for welcoming me into your family and giving me your blessing to marry Sophie" Jason nods and smiles briefly. Jose sits down to thunderous applause, I realise it's my turn, I stand and take a deep breath, I look at Christian who smiles encouragingly at me.

"Thanks Jose, well its my turn now and not being too familiar with the position of best man I will keep this speech short, as Jose said we met at WSU and became firm friends, as we got to know each other we discovered our fathers had been in the military together and we brought them back together, I consider Jose the brother I never had and so I am proud he asked me to be his best person, but I'm not, his best person has to be Sophie, so raise your glasses to Jose and Sophie"

There is a chorus of "Jose and Sophie" and then a round of applause.

Taylor stands next and tells everyone how proud he is of his daughter, he mentions his ex-wife and that he is sorry she isn't here to share Sophie's day, but that he is convinced she is looking down on her, and he thanks Christian profusely for his generosity of letting us hold the wedding here.

As he sits down there is another round of applause.

After the meal the tables are cleared away and the music starts to play, Jose leads Sophie on to the dance floor and they have the first dance then Christian makes a beeline for me, he grabs me and pulls me into his arms and as he moves me around the dance floor he stares into my eyes and whispers to me.

"Do you remember our wedding day?" he murmurs into my ear.

I nod, "How could I forget," I say "I married the most loving, generous wonderful man in the world" I kiss him gently on the lips.

He looks embarrassed by that and he just pulls me closer.

As the music stops, I leave Christian and walk over to Jose and nudge his shoulder "How do you fancy a dance with your best man?" I say flippantly and grin up at him, he laughs and as the music starts up he pulls me into his arms and we dance.

"I'm really happy for you," I say.

"Thanks, Ana," he says "You know I really love her" he adds.

"I should hope so, you married her" I snort.

He looks at me seriously for a moment, "It took me ages to get over you" he whispers in my ear, I slap his shoulder.

"Shush, stop it and don't be ridiculous," I say a little sharply.

"I'm not Ana," he says "I finally feel comfortable saying it now because it's out of my system and well... I'm in love" he shrugs, as he looks up he laughs "hey look" he says and points over my shoulder, I turn and see Christian dancing with Sophie.

"Should I be jealous?" he asks with a grin.

As the music stops Christian walks over to us leading Sophie by the hand, and reaches into his inside pocket, and pulls out an envelope, he hands it to Jose.

"Here you are, Jose, Sophie," he says "all the details are in this envelope, two weeks in the Caribbean and plane tickets to return to Seattle. You won't need plane tickets for the journey there, as my jet is waiting for you at Sea-Tac as we speak. Taylor will take you both to the airport when you are ready to leave. Oh, and you will find a small gift in the bedroom at the back of the plane, enjoy!"

Jose gapes at Christian, his mouth hanging open, "Wow, I don't know what to say, it's too much, thank you, Christian, thanks a lot!" He shakes his hand and pulls him into a hug. Sophie stares up at Christian.

"Thank you so much, Mr Grey," she says.

Christian smiles at her, "Please call me Christian" he says.

Sophie smiles, "Ok... Christian" she says testing the word, she giggles and puts her hand over her mouth briefly, and then she shakes her head.

"That seems so weird, I've known you all my life and dad always told me to address you as Mr Grey and to be polite, so it somehow feels wrong".

Christian laughs "Well you are no longer a little girl, so please call me Christian".

Jose and Sophie leave about an hour later, Sophie has changed into a beautiful blue dress, she looks so much older than her 21 years, I find myself standing with Taylor, and I give him a nudge.

He looks around at me and smiles "Thank you for letting us use your home" he says again.

"Jason, will you stop thanking us - it is your home too!" I say.

"She looks happy doesn't she?" he says changing the subject.

"Yes she does," I say.

"Then that's good enough for me" he turns to me looking serious, "He will take care of her won't he?" he asks.

I nod, "I would trust Jose with my life," I say "and besides" I add with a grin, "both Christian and I have threatened him that if he hurts her, his life won't be worth living."

"So have I" Taylor adds grimly.

"Hey, this is a happy occasion," I say trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"It's just... the age difference bothers me, I know there is a significant age difference between you and Mr Grey but not as significant as the one between Jose and Sophie" he says.

"They will be fine," I say, "Sophie is very mature for her 21 years and well... Jose may well be 35 but he is a big kid so they kind of meet in the middle!" I nudge him again, and a reluctant smile spreads across his face.

"That's better, seriously though they will be fine" I say reassuringly and I am confident that they will be, I pat his arm "I'd better let you go, if you are driving them to Sea-Tac," I say and with that I move away.

"Mrs Grey", Taylor says stopping me and making me turn back, "Thanks!" he says gratefully.

"No problem" I reply and walk away, searching for my husband.

I see Christian with his eyes fixed on someone or something, he is totally rigid and I wonder what it is that has clearly upset him. I follow his gaze and see Phoebe dancing with Harry. I smile at the sight and then sigh, shake my head and walk over to him.

I squeeze his hand "Calm down, it's ok" I whisper.

He sighs, "Yes but she is only 10 years old and he is 14"

"Christian, it's a wedding and they are just dancing so get a grip" I say kindly. I think about pointing out that when he was 14 I would only have been 7 but I decide that might be a step too far.

He thinks about that and his body slowly relaxes and he turns and smiles at me, "I know" he says eventually.

"Mom's right you know."

Christian turns and sees Theo standing grinning at him.

"He won't hurt her, he's not a bad person, not really, he has just had bad things happen to him, he was a nice person before all that crap happened to him when his mom died, he was lashing out confused and hurting and wanted someone else to feel as bad as he did, but now, he is so ashamed of what he did. He doesn't want to end up like his stepfather and you have to remember he didn't actually do half of what he threatened to do, it was all talk" he pauses "scary talk which frightened me enough at the time but he's no threat now he is back to being the nice person he was before any of this happened, and I trust him" Theo smiles.

Christian wraps his arm around Theo, "You have a very mature head on your shoulders" he says "but your sister is only 10 years old."

Theo gives Christian an incredulous look and I have to hide my amusement as I see Christians surprised response.

"Dad, come on seriously? To begin with the age difference between you and mom is more than between Harry and Pheebs," he pauses as Christian's face darkens at that thought but Theo quickly continues.

"But they aren't doing any harm, I mean you danced with Sophie tonight, does that mean you are going to leave mom and run off with her? No of course not; it's a wedding it means nothing" he says with a nonchalant shrug.

I smile at my son, when did he get so mature and wise? I glance at Christian and by the look on his face he is thinking much the same thing.

I see movement and activity across the room which catches my attention and I look across, "Jose and Sophie are leaving" I say as I grip Christian's hand.

We walk over to the exit and round to the front driveway where Sophie is about to throw her bouquet, she turns and it heads towards us and Phoebe catches it, and blushes.

"Ooh," she says as everyone claps.

Jose looks across at us and mouths "Thank you" again to us, then he turns and climbs into the car, Taylor climbs into the driver's seat and they are gone.

I turn to Christian, "Seems a bit mean Taylor not being able to drink at his own daughter's wedding."

"Taylor doesn't drink at all anyway" he replies.

"Oh," I say.

People are starting to drift away, I had noticed Kate went fairly early, I was a little bit upset as she hadn't even said goodbye, she had just gone. People came up to Christian and thanked him but he immediately deferred to Gail and stepped aside.

"Nicely done" I whisper in his ear.

I watch as the cleaning crew set to work, and an hour later and it doesn't even look like there was ever a wedding here. I stand gazing at the view over the sound, at the fast approaching night time, enjoying the view.

Christian comes up behind me, wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck.

"I love you," he says.

I smile "I love you too," I say.

"MOM!" the cry comes from inside.

I sigh and Christian sniggers, "come on let's go and see what the matter is," he says holding his hand out.

I take it and we make our way inside.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

_Nine years later...  
_

"Happy Birthday to you; happy birthday to you; happy birthday dear Theo; happy birthday to you!"

The chorus of voices rings out around the room and Theo stands in the midst of everyone grinning whilst looking down at the huge cake in front of him, with his name and a number 21 written in icing on it and there are 21 candles waiting to be blown out. Another loud cheer goes up as he blows out the candles and a round of applause ripples around.

I stand on his left hand side and Christian is standing on his right, and we are both beaming widely and proudly at our son and despite my earlier promise not to embarrass him in front of his friends I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. I decide what the hell, and seeing as I have totally disregarded my promise; I go the whole hog and press a kiss to his cheek and as I do so I whisper quietly in his ear, but I do so, so that only he can hear me.

"My baby boy, all grown up!"

"Mom!" he says with a tone of clear embarrassment but I also see his smile, so he isn't totally ashamed of me.

I grin at him I am so proud of my eldest son, he graduated from high school two years early and he is strolling through the Business and Economics degree he is studying for at Harvard, which unlike his father he is going to complete and graduate.

He has then decided he wants to go and work for his father at GEH, with a view to eventually taking over when Christian decides to retire. He doesn't want to walk into an executive position though, he wants to start at the bottom and take an entry-level position and he wants work his way up learning the business inside out. He has also made it crystal clear that he wants to progress or fail on his own merits and not because of who his father is. Christian is ecstatic that he wants to do this and has promised not to use his influence.

I pull away and Christian steps closer to Theo and claps him on the back and gives him a small box. Theo looks confused, as we had given him his present this morning, which was an omega watch – different to mine and Christian's but still as beautiful and the engraving on the back simply read '_On your 21st birthday, with all our love, Mom and Dad x'_

He opens the box and his mouth drops open as he looks at the small key inside, I had no idea Christian was going to do this, and so I give him a 'what the hell' look to which he just grins widely at me.

"No way!" Theo whispers, then he stares at Christian and then at me "Seriously?" he adds.

"It would appear so" I say sarcastically.

"It's parked just outside if you want to go and have a look!" Christian says, jumping in before I can say anything else.

Theo walks outside and stares dumbfounded at the shiny new R8 on the driveway he runs his fingers over it reverently and walks around it.

Everyone has followed us out and there is a collective gasp at the car. I am standing with Christian who looks incredibly pleased with himself and he has his arm around my shoulders, I look up at him and elbow him in the ribs.

"You are so over the top," I say.

"Always," he agrees with a grin and a wink and then gives me a swift kiss as I giggle at him. I can't be angry with him as the pure unadulterated joy he gets from doing things like this makes my heart swell.

Theo runs to us and embraces us "Thank you so much" he says, and we can both see he is beside himself with excitement.

"You are very welcome, but for now come back inside, you can go for a drive later," Christian says firmly.

Everyone returns inside and Theo looks reluctant as he moves back inside, shooting covetous looks at his shiny new car as he walks away.

The party goes on and I am feeling so proud as I look around at my family and friends, there is nowhere I would sooner be at this moment. My eyes fall on my beloved husband, and I can't take them off him. After all these years together he still has the same effect on me as he always did. Christian is 49 now he will be celebrating his 50th birthday in a couple of months, but to look at him he doesn't look his age, his body is still in fine condition and it's clear he takes care of himself, the only thing that betrays his age are a few lines on his face and the liberal sprinkling of grey through his unruly copper hair. He turns and his eyes meet mine and he looks at me in that way which still makes me go weak at the knees.

My attention moves across the room, to Phoebe, who is now 19 and has blossomed into a very tall, very beautiful young woman. She is studying art at college which was always going to be an inevitability, and she only has eyes for Harry who is a permanent fixture at her side these days, although at the moment she is standing alone and looks deep in thought. Harry is Gail's 22-year-old nephew who came to live with her a few years ago. He is also doing well, he is at Harvard studying law and he is a bright boy and he won a scholarship, after refusing to accept Christian's offer to pay his college fees. We are all proud of the way he has turned out after what was a very traumatic time for him, I look around for him but he doesn't seem to be in the room at the moment.

Next I glance over to Isobel who is laughing loudly at something Zoe – Kate's younger daughter is telling her. By her side is Jonathan, Ethan and Mia's nine-year-old son, he worships the ground Izzy walks on, but then again Izzy has been his babysitter for years.

Izzy doesn't mind her little shadow, but then again Izzy isn't your run of the mill 17-year-old girl. She is what can only be described as a lethal weapon, she has reached the highest point she can in Krav Maga and now after school twice a week she teaches it. She is the youngest trained instructor of Krav Maga in the United States. Not only that but she is a crack shot with a gun, my father taught her to shoot as he taught me and she showed an instinctive aptitude which my father said was rare. She is also proficient in many other martial arts including Judo, Karate, Ju Jit Su and Tai Kwan Do. She has now taken up Kendo and is progressing with that. She even spars with Christian at times and he had said she had taught him a thing or two. But underneath she is still a gentle loving girl, who is fiercely protective of her family and friends and who hero worships her father.

My attention moves next to Alexander he is now 15 and at this moment he is talking with his cousin Noah, Elliot's son from an affair. Seeing him makes me think of Kate, I don't see her very often anymore and I miss the fact she isn't here today. She remarried a few years ago and moved to New York for a lucrative job as a journalist on the New York Times. Her dream had been realised, but I miss her.

Ava and Zoe are here though they had flown in a few days previously and are staying with Elliot. When I look at Alex it is always with a twinge of sadness, as I can't help but think of his twin brother Matthew, who I lost halfway through the pregnancy. I go regularly to Matthew's grave and leave flowers and to talk to him and tell him what his family are doing.

Alex always makes me smile and as much as I love all my children and have always loved them equally, there is still that special bond between us, I can't explain it, it's not a question of favouritism, it's just I was so afraid I was going to lose him after I lost Matthew that when he was born safely and healthy he became my little miracle. He is discussing soccer with Noah, he has been soccer mad since he was tiny, and it is his ambition to play for one of the top European soccer teams – or football as they call it over there.

"Hey Annie" I am pulled from my thoughts as I turn and smile at my stepfather, and wrap my arms around him, now in his 70's he is always there for me.

"Hi daddy" I say as I hold him tightly, "are you enjoying the party?"

He nods and smiles. I smile but it is tinged with a little sadness, my mother is no longer with us, she had died a few years previously after a short illness, it had been quite a shock at the time, more so when Bob had then moved away and I had lost contact with him too, she had remained with Bob until she died and thankfully there was never a husband number five.

I look at Grace who is also on her own now after Carrick had died around the same time as my mother, and it was a sad time for everyone and not something I want to dwell on today. I look round to see Jose arrive looking flushed and excited, he glances around the room and then when he spots me he makes a beeline for me, and he is dragging along a 5-year-old little girl, his daughter Alice.

"Ana, I am so sorry I am late," he says, "but I have come straight from the hospital, Where's Jason and Gail?" he asks looking around.

Christian strides towards us, "Jose, how's Sophie?" he asks.

"Doing well, that's why I'm late, I'm a dad again!" he says with a proud grin.

I fling my arms around him and Christian shakes his hand, he turns and signals to Taylor to join us. Taylor comes over looking anxious, Alice lets go of her father's hand and runs to Taylor squealing loudly.

"Granddad!" she shrieks as Jason he lifts her into his arms his face breaking into a warm smile, he plants a kiss on her cheek and then lifts her on to his shoulders.

Jose walks towards him "Jason, it's a boy, he was finally born about 3 hours ago" Taylor's face lights up and he hugs Jose with one arm his other secured around Alice's leg.

"How's Sophie?" Taylor asks immediately.

"She's good, tired and sore, as it was a long labour but she did good, he's massive, 9lb 8oz and he looks just like you" Jose smiles at Jason.

"Poor kid," Taylor says ruefully "What are you calling him?"

Jose looks at Taylor and smiles nervously, "There was only one choice, we knew we were having a boy right from the start but we wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else, and there was only ever one choice, we are calling him Jason". Jose places his hand on Taylor's arm as the emotion is clear on Taylor's face.

Jose turns to me, looking at me apologetically, "Listen, Ana, I am so sorry but I have to get back" he says and I nod.

"Of course you do," I say.

Jose turns to Taylor, "I didn't want Alice to miss the party, as she was looking forward to it so can I leave her with you and Gail and I'll pick her up later?"

Taylor nods "She'll be fine with me," he says.

Jose nods, "I'll just go and grab a word with Theo then I'll get back to Sophie" he wanders over to Theo who is talking with his friends.

"Jose!" Theo exclaims when he sees him.

"Hey Champ" Jose says, I smile Jose has always called him that and Theo lets him, it is something they have always done. I see Jose apologising for his late arrival and explaining the reason why. Theo immediately high five's him and then hugs him tightly. Jose hands over a present and card and then he is gone as quickly as he came.

Ethan comes over to me, "Was that Jose?" he asks.

I nod and explain the situation, and Ethan grins, "That's great news!" he sighs and looks across at Mia, and then towards Jonathan who is still shadowing Izzy.

"Mia always stuck to the vow she made about not having any more kids, but I would have loved a couple more," he says sadly.

I nudge him "Of course you would, because you don't have to go through pregnancy, labour and birth" I say but I grin to let him know I am joking.

"What are you talking about you went through it 4 times!" he retorts.

My attention switches to Harry who has reappeared and Phoebe, as she is trying to pull away from him and he is trying to restrain her, I move towards them quickly, and Christian has also spotted the situation and is closing in, along with Gail.

We manoeuvre them both into the other room, "What the hell do you think you are doing?" Christian snaps glaring at them both.

Phoebe shakes her head, "It's nothing dad, we were just having a disagreement."

Gail stares at Harry, "What have you done Harry?" she asks quietly.

"Nothing" he replies sharply, "Why is it assumed to be my fault?" he adds glaring back at Gail fiercely.

This reaction clearly takes Gail by surprise and she reaches out for him "Hey!" he says in a gentler tone.

"I love Phoebe and she has been cheating on me, ok and I was hoping to get the truth from her but she won't speak to me and tell me what the hell is going on!" he blurts out, Christian's eyes widen at this information and he turns and stares at Phoebe in shock.

"He is just a friend" Phoebe protests but the look of guilt on her face tells a different story.

I decide to step in and take charge before things escalate even more, "Ok listen" I say holding up my hands. "Harry, we will sit and discuss this later ok, I'm not taking sides, or fobbing you off but we are in the middle of a party at the moment so it is not the time or the place to be discussing it, but I promise you we will later, but for now just keep away from each other until we have talked things through, because we don't want to spoil Theo's day do we?!" I glare at them both.

"No mom" Phoebe whispers.

"I'm sorry Mrs Grey, you are right of course, we will talk about this later" Harry turns on his heel and walks out of the room.

Isobel ambushes me when I leave "What was all that about?" she hisses.

"Leave it, Izzy," I say giving her a clear warning look.

"What's he done to her?" she says.

"Nothing, it's more like what she's done to him!" I say "so just leave it."

I look at Izzy and am confused by her expression, she doesn't look shocked or surprised, but she looks like I have confirmed what she already knew, so I guess I will have to have words with my younger daughter later as well.

Apart from that hiccup the party appears to be a huge success and Theo is in his element, he is with his friends from University and yet he still has time for his family. It is late when people start to leave, and as the last of the guests disappear, Jose arrives.

"Hi, I've come for Alice" he says as sits down on the sofa.

"You look tired" I say gently and he smiles but he really does look beat.

"I'm ok, I'm pretty much on cloud nine at the moment so that cancels out any negativity" he says.

Christian appears and joins us and offers Jose a drink which he politely declines. Suddenly, he suddenly delves in his pocket and fishes out his phone.

"I have pictures, of Jason" he says.

He proudly shows Christian and me the photos of the baby, when Taylor and Gail wander in with Alice, and Jose rises to his feet and holds his arms open, Alice spot him her face lighting up at the sight of her father and she runs straight into them.

"Daddy" she squeals wrapping her arms around him.

"Hey Munchkin," he says, and then he looks at Taylor and offers his phone to him, "I have pictures of your grandson here," he says.

Taylor takes the phone and gazes at the pictures on the screen, I see his eyes turn glittery with tears, and Gail wraps her arm around him and looks over his shoulder at the pictures.

"He looks like you Jason," she says with a smile.

"Let's hope he grows out of it!" Taylor says with a grin as he hands the phone back to Jose.

Jose sighs, "Well I'd best be getting back, Sophie is coming home first thing tomorrow morning so I have to get things sorted at home."

Gail looks at him, "I'll come with you and give you a hand" she says.

Jose looks grateful "That would be great if you could" he looks at Christian "Is that ok?" he asks.

Christian waves his hand dismissively and Jose grins.

"Thanks," he says.

We watch Jose leave with Alice in his arms and Gail at his side, Taylor watches them go and he looks deep in thought. As he sees me watching him he smiles.

"You can go with them if you want to?" Christian offers but Taylor shakes his head.

"Thank you sir but no" he replies still watching the door that Jose and Gail have just left through.

"Jose is a good man" I say to Taylor and he smiles.

"He is a good man," he agrees grudgingly nodding towards the door which is now closing.

I smile, "I remember when you said that to me about someone else," I say and I glance at Christian.

Taylor smiles and shakes his head as he walks away.

Christian comes over and pulls me into his arms, "well Mrs Grey our first baby is all grown up and officially a man now".

"Does it make you feel old?" I ask teasingly as my arms snake around his waist.

He sighs "Just a bit, especially knowing that he is now the age you were when you first fell into my office and stole my heart."

I gaze into his eyes, "Did I ever tell you that you also stole my heart, I couldn't stop thinking about you after that interview."

"Even though you had asked me if I was gay?" he whispers in my ear.

I blush and slap him "You know full well that was Kate's question."

He throws his head back and laughs loudly, and then he stares at me and runs his fingers down my cheek.

"Little did she know when she brought us together that day she was finding the missing part of my soul" he says quietly but his words are filled with love and it makes me feel emotional.

I swallow and tears well up in my eyes "Oh Christian" is all I can manage to say.

"Shush baby," he says as he covers my mouth with his.

**oooOOOooo**

We are sitting in the lounge, Harry is sitting one side of the sofa, Phoebe is sitting the other, and they are glaring at each other and throwing barbed insults at each other. Christian is pacing the floor like a caged animal and Gail and I are trying to keep a modicum of calm.

So far Phoebe hasn't said a word of explanation and every time Harry puts the evidence to her she either says something rude and sarcastic or says nothing at all. At this particular moment she is sitting looking at her hands and despite our coaxing isn't saying anything.

I have to admit that the evidence is pretty damning. Photographs on Harry's phone show Phoebe walking with this other boy, holding his hand and looking at him the way I look at Christian. There is another showing them in a tight embrace, and the most incriminating of the lot, one showing Phoebe kissing this other boy, quite passionately.

Harry is clearly devastated and just wants the truth, even though it appears to be staring him in the face, but Phoebe is making matters worse by her attitude.

Christian seems to be more upset about the boy in the photograph; he is tall with long jet black hair down to his waist and numerous piercings and tattoos all over his body. I have a feeling that Ryan and Tony are going to get chewed out at some point today.

In the end, I lose patience, "Phoebe, will you tell us what's been going on, it's not fair on Harry if you have been seeing someone else behind his back."

"He's just a friend," she says defiantly.

Harry snorts, "Yeah and I'm the fucking Pope" he stops and looks ashamed, "Sorry Mrs Grey, Mr Grey" he says, he stands "If you are not going to do me the courtesy of being honest, then we're through, it's over".

He goes to walk away, and as he reaches the door he pauses and turns slightly, "I really loved you Phoebe" he says his voice cracking with emotion, and with that he turns, leaves and slams the door.

Gail stands, "Excuse me," she says and after giving Phoebe a hard look she leaves the room to go after him.

Christian turns and places his hands on the back of the sofa I am sitting on, he is leaning forward and glaring at Phoebe.

"Why?" he says simply, and Phoebe looks like she is going to say something.

She stands and with a smirk says simply "Because I can" and walks from the room.

I look at Christian, we are both completely speechless. Christian shakes his head, "she has changed since she started college, and not for the better" he says sadly as he heads towards his office.

I am still reeling from what Phoebe has just said when Isobel comes in looking around.

"Where's dad?" She asks.

"In his office" I reply I look at her "Why?" I ask.

She looks behind her "Where's Pheebs?" she asks whilst avoiding my question.

I shrug, "I have no idea".

I pause and look at her carefully, "what's wrong Izzy?"

I remember I want to talk to her as well as I have a gut feeling that she knew something about this boy and what Phoebe was doing.

She sits beside me, "I was the one who sent Harry those photo's, because I thought he had the right to know, plus the guy she is seeing... he's not a good person" she confirming my suspicions in one go.

I frown at Izzy "How do you know?" I ask.

She sighs, "He used to come to Krav Maga until he was banned," she says.

"What for?" I ask terrified at what she is going to tell me.

"He tried it on…" she lowers her voice "…with me!"

My hand flies to my mouth and I gasp, "Izzy why haven't you said something sooner?"

She shrugs, "because I handled it, we were sparring and he grabbed my tits and tried to shove his hand down my pants, let's just say he regretted it. Dominic - you know the other trainer, he saw what happened and threw him out there and then and he wanted to tell dad, but I begged him not to; because well... you know why, he'd blow a gasket and I'd handled it. It was over, so I couldn't believe it the other day when I saw him with Pheebs. I recognised him straight away and tried to warn her but she wouldn't listen to me so I thought if I outed her to Harry he could perhaps make her see sense".

I look at my daughter, feeling confused, "Why did you ask what Harry had done yesterday, then?"

She smiles at my question, "Covering my tracks, I couldn't really come out and say is Harry pissed off because of the pictures I sent him, could I?"

"What's his name?" A cold voice asks, Izzy and I freeze and look up straight into the icy grey eyes staring at us.

I have no idea how long Christian has been standing there listening but it is clearly a while as he is barely holding on to his self-control. His hands are fisted at his side, and he is trembling with rage. Isobel curses under her breath, which I'm sure Christian also heard, and then she stands and walks over to him confidently.

"Stop it, dad, if you think I am going to tell you who he is and have you go and beat him to a pulp and get yourself arrested you've got another think coming."

Christian glares at her, but she just shakes her head.

"Dad please, you can glare at me all you like, you know that look has no effect on me," she says and she steps towards him and wraps her arms around his waist, that gesture is his undoing, he relaxes and wraps his arms around his daughter and pulls her tightly to him.

"What did he do to you?" he says tightly.

"Dad, honestly I'm fine, he just tried to cop a feel and he soon regretted it," she says flippantly.

Christian stiffens as she says those words and she continues "I may have broken a couple of fingers and maybe his nose as well" she says with a grin.

Christian's face breaks into a reluctant smile, but it disappears as he raises her chin up with his hand and looks at her, "You should have told us before now" he says seriously.

"Ok, I'll give you that," she says raising her hands, "Sorry" she adds "but in my defence I honestly didn't see the point, I'd handled it and as far as I was concerned it was sorted and to be totally honest I'd forgotten about it until I saw him with Pheebs the other day".

Isobel gently releases herself from Christian's hold, she looks up at him "I'm sorry dad but I didn't want you to lose it over someone who really isn't worth it".

She steps away, "I'm going to find Harry and see if he's ok," she says and we watch her leave the room.

"Shit" Christian says as he drops down on the seat beside me he runs his hand through his hair, I shuffle towards him and wrap my arm around him.

"How do we handle this?" I ask.

"I have no idea baby" he replies.

I think for a moment, "Well, she's not going to listen to reason and the more we try and make her see reason the more she will rebel. If we come down heavy and forbid her from seeing him, we will just drive her straight into his arms" I stop and stare at Christian helplessly. "Well I think at least we know now we are forewarned and we can keep a discreet eye on things."

Christian nods, "play it by ear," he says.

"Dad?" Theo's voice makes us both look up.

Christian smiles at Theo, "What's wrong?" he asks.

Theo shakes his head, "Nothing, I was just wondering if it was ok if I went for a drive in my fancy new car?" he asks with a grin, as he swings his car key around.

Christian nods his head, "Sure, but drive carefully, do you hear me?" he says firmly.

Theo looks at him, "Actually I was kind of hoping you'd come with me on my first drive, till I get used to it?" he looks at Christian hopefully.

Christian frowns "You've driven mine, what's the problem?"

"Yeah with you sitting beside me, please dad, just a bit of moral support," he asks.

"Sure, of course, I will" he says as he immediately stands. He looks at me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "I won't be long" he says.

I nod and rise to my feet, "Theo drive carefully" I say giving my son a swift hug.

"Yes Mom," he says with a cheeky grin.

I follow them outside, and watch as Theo eagerly jumps into the driver's seat, I remember the first time I drove my R8 that Christian bought me shortly after we got married, I was just as excited as Theo, Alex comes out and watches Theo roar off up the drive.

"God I'm so jealous!" he says staring at the disappearing car.

I wrap my arm around him, "Never mind Alex, I'm sure your time will come" I say and I wrap my arm around his shoulders and lead him back into the house.

Christian and Theo return an hour or so later, Theo is smiling widely, "Thanks, dad" he says as they walk through the door.

"No problem" Christian says, he comes over to me and plants a kiss on my forehead. "I'm going to work in my study for a while," he says and with that he disappears. A few minutes later I hear raised voices, and I know that Ryan and Wiseman are getting chewed out."

I decide to go and speak to Phoebe; I am worried especially after what Izzy has said about this boy. I decide to tackle things differently; I go upstairs and knock on Phoebe's door.

"Who is it?" she asks somewhat defensively from inside.

"It's me Pheebs, can I come in please" I reply.

There is a silence before she eventually replies "Sure."

As soon as I walk in she scowls at me, "Listen if you are going to give me another lecture..." she starts.

I hold up my hand to silence her, "May I sit down?" I ask.

She nods and shuffles over.

"Do you like this boy?" I ask thinking this is the best place to start.

She smiles, "I do," she says, "he makes me feel free" she adds.

"What do you mean by that?" I ask.

She sighs, "All my life I have been trailed by security, and it's suffocating, always having Chris Ryan or Tony Wiseman shadowing me, constantly there, he makes me forget them."

"Does he respect you and treat you well?" I ask holding my breath.

Phoebe nods but tellingly doesn't physically answer that question.

"You do know you treated Harry badly don't you?" I say.

She nods again, "I know, I didn't mean to hurt him, but Kye is so different," she says.

"Ok," I say "well just be careful and be sensible," I say not knowing what else to say. I put my hand on her shoulder and squeeze gently.

I leave the room and go in search of Christian, he is still in his office, as I walk towards him he lifts his head and I see his eyes soften as he takes me in.

"Well I have a name for you," I say.

Christian frowns at me questioningly.

"Phoebe's new beau," I say.

"Oh," I have Christian's full attention now.

"Kye, only his first name but it's a start," I say.

Christian smiles, "Kye Simpson," he says quietly.

"How did you find that out?" I ask gaping at him.

"I phoned Dominic," he says simply, "he was very forthcoming."

Of course he did, "I imagine he was!" I say "What else did he say?"

Christian frowns, "it seems Kye Simpson is quite an unsavoury character", he says quietly "I have passed his details on to Welch and he is going to do a security check on him, see what we are dealing with".

Just at that moment, Isobel comes bursting in looking agitated and flushed.

"What's wrong?" Christian asks rising to his feet.

"Phoebe she's gone, I've just seen her go, he came for her on his chopper and she went with him".

"Shit" Christian rakes his hand through his hair. Panic is written all over his face. "RYAN, WISEMAN" he bellows, they appear instantly from Taylor's office next door, he turns to Isobel "Do you still have those photographs you took?" he asks sharply.

Izzy fishes her phone out of her pocket and nods.

"Send them to Ryan's phone now" he demands, he turns to Ryan as Izzy quickly does as he asks, "This boy is called Kye Simpson, he is seeing my daughter and she has just disappeared with him, find them and watch them, don't approach them unless you believe she is going to be harmed" he says.

Ryan nods.

Isobel looks towards Ryan "I have a photo of his chopper too" she says "I took it as they were riding way" she adds, "have you got it?" she asks as she peers at her phone screen.

Ryan nods and smiles at her, "You did good Isobel" he says warmly. With that, he turns and is gone closely followed by Tony Wiseman. Isobel takes a shot look at Christian and then me and follows them out and shuts the door.

Christian turns to me, and holds his arms open. I walk into them and he folds his arms around me, I can feel the anxiety and tension rolling off him.

I try to calm him, "She's a sensible girl," I say looking at him.

He nods but doesn't say a word. There is a knock at the door, Christian looks up "Come in" he says, standing in the doorway is Harry, he looks ashen.

"I saw her go with him," he says quietly.

Christian nods, "I know," he says quietly, he gestures to Harry to come forward, Harry walks towards Christian and Christian wraps his arm around Harry's shoulder, "I'm sorry she has treated you so badly," he says.

Isobel comes in again, she stops when she sees Harry, "Dad I can I talk to you... privately?" she asks.

Harry walks towards the door, he stops and touches Isobel's arm. "Thank you for telling me" he says as he passes her.

"No problem, you had the right to know," she says with a shrug.

After Harry has gone, Izzy shuts the office door and walks towards us; her face is etched with worry".

"Dad, promise me you are not going to freak," she says firmly. Christian takes a quick look at me and then returns his attention to Isobel. But he doesn't say anything.

Her worried face and the almost panicked way she is demanding Christian doesn't lose it is sending fear through me and warning flags are not only being raised but waved wildly.

"Isobel, talk to me," Christian says his voice calm but icy.

"No not till you promise," she says stubbornly, folding her arms.

Christian sighs and after rubbing his forehead he waves his hands in the air, "Fine, I promise" he says "Now talk Isobel".

He glares at her waiting for her to speak.

She takes a shot look at me and then fishes in her pocket, and throws a small polythene packet onto the table, "I found this" she says "In Phoebe's room" she adds.

"No!" Christian stares at the packet and his legs give way and he sits with a thump down on his chair. "No no no" he moans both hands grabbing his hair.

I stare at the small packet "What is it?" I ask quietly, I know its drugs of some sort but what it is I don't know as I have never actually seen or been in contact with them before.

"Cannabis," Isobel says quietly.

She walks around the table and wraps her arms around her father's neck, "I'm sorry daddy" she says, "She has been acting so weird lately, sort of paranoid, so I decided to have a nose around after she went out, I had my suspicions but I hate to be proved right."

Christian looks as though he has had the stuffing kicked out of him; I have never seen him looking so broken.

"Daddy?" Isobel says quietly, she too is worried about her father's demeanour.

Christian looks at her and smiles weakly "thank you" he whispers and touches her chin. "Leave me now please," he says.

Isobel unwraps her arms and leaves the room, I hesitate, as he looks at me and nods. I walk towards him and plant a small kiss on his forehead and go to move away, he grabs my arm and gazes at me and he looks like a small vulnerable child.

"Drugs" he says quietly. I sink to my knees and wrap my arms around him.

"We will sort this out," I say with a confidence I don't feel. "We will talk to her when she gets back ok" I add. 

He nods "I want to be alone," he says quietly.

I nod, rise to my feet and kiss him gently again and leave the room, as I close the door, I hear him sobbing uncontrollably. I desperately want to return to him, but I know he doesn't want anyone to see him like that. Isobel is waiting for me when she hears Christian crying and goes towards the door, I grab her arm.

"Don't, just leave him," I say.

She nods and follows me away.

When Christian emerges from his office his eyes are red, but they have a steely glint in them, he comes to me, smiles slightly and kisses me before heading back into his study and closing the door.

I stand and go to Taylor's office, Taylor and Sawyer stand when they see me.

"Mrs Grey," Taylor says and nods.

"Hi, can you keep an eye on the cameras and when you see Phoebe return with her _friend _on his chopper can you let me know please."

They both nod, just at that moment Taylor points to the security feed, "That would be now" he says quietly, I leave by the outside door in their office and make my way over the driveway, as I do so Christian charges past me.

"Christian, NO!" I shout and break into a run to catch up with him. It's almost like slow motion, as Christian grabs Kye from his bike and pins him against the wall with his throat and starts punching him. Phoebe is screaming and security appears from every direction, then running past me is Isobel.

"Dad stop, he's not worth it" she screams, Christian goes to push her away and she grabs his arm, "Dad calm down," she says.

Christian sags as Taylor grabs Kye, who looks at Isobel in shock.

"You!" he gasps then an evil grin sweeps across his face, "I couldn't have you but I got in your sister's panties!" He says jeeringly.

Christian lurches towards him again as Isobel and Sawyer pull him away. Phoebe is looking open-mouthed at Isobel.

"What!?" Phoebe snaps as she tries to hang on to her father's arm.

"I tried to warn you Pheebs", Isobel says sharply, then she turns her attention back to Christian, "Dad, please stop" she pleads.

"You not only put your filthy hands on my both my daughters but you gave one of them drugs" Christian spits, glancing at Phoebe who goes white as she realises we have found her drugs.

Kye's eyes shoot to Christian's, "No I didn't" he says with a righteous indignation which surprises us all.

"I hate drugs I saw what they did to my brother, Yes I tried it on with her" he looks at Isobel, then he looks across to Phoebe "and I've screwed her... several times, but I didn't give her drugs" he says adamantly.

Christian stills and turns to Phoebe who is looking guiltier by the second. She shuffles from one foot to another fidgeting with her sleeve and she can't look at Christian.

"Is this true?" Christian says quietly, too quietly.

Phoebe shrugs "It was only a bit of weed, loosen up dad," she says defiantly.

Kye looks at her in disgust "We're through baby, I don't fuck junkies" he says. Christian punches him once more and then Taylor drags him away, and Christian walks up to Phoebe menacingly.

"My study, now," he says.

Phoebe rolls her eyes and turns with an exaggerated sigh and heads towards the house. Christian looks at Isobel and she lets his arm go, he cups the back of her head in his hand and kisses her gently on the forehead, before turning on his heel and stalking inside after Phoebe.

Isobel comes to me, "I've never seen dad so angry and out of control, he overreacts to things but that was another level", she says and shivers.

"I know," I say, "I think it was the drugs which did it" I add but then stop, as none of the children knows the details about Christian's birth mother. They know that Grace and Carrick adopted him but that is all. All I can think of at this moment is getting to my husband and taking him in my arms, as we walk towards the house, Alex and Theo come running out.

"Mom come quickly," Alex says grabbing my hand.

Theo looks ashen, "What the hell happened? I've never seen dad so angry, he's tearing into Phoebe, and he called her a whore and a filthy junkie, you can hear him all over the house."

"Shit" I start to panic and break into a sprint. I follow the sound of Christian shouting, Gail and Harry are standing in the lounge looking shocked, I head straight to Christians study and without knocking I walk in.

Phoebe is sitting looking shell-shocked on the small sofa while Christian berates her. He is standing behind his desk his hands gripping the back of his chair so tightly the ends of his fingers are turning white. I walk over to him and gently touch his back, he jumps violently and stops shouting, he is panting and his eyes look wild.

"Phoebe go upstairs now," I say.

Phoebe doesn't need telling twice, she is up and gone, closing the door behind her.

"Christian look at me," I say as I touch his face.

He looks at me, he is still breathing heavily.

"Stop, just stop" I whisper and wrap my arms around him, I pull him towards me; he is still gripping his chair, and is rigid.

"Christian, please come back to me, it's ok" I say quietly. At this moment I am scared I want my husband back, the husband I have had for the last 22 years.

"Christian look at me," I say sharply.

He turns his head; the look in his eyes breaks my heart.

"Come on," I say gently touching his hand.

He lets go of his chair and allows me to lead him over to the small sofa, he sits and I sit beside him.

"Christian talk to me," I say with more confidence than I am feeling. He is still silent and just staring at me, but he isn't really even looking at me, he is looking through me.

I have never seen him like this before, and it's scaring me, I decide I need help, I reach for Christians phone which is just lying on his desk, he watches me go through his list of contacts and I find the one I want, and place the call.

"John... hi its Ana Grey, I could really do with your help?" I blurt out without any real preamble.

"Alright calm down and explain what's happened" John says calmly.

I take a deep breath, "It's Christian, he has just discovered Phoebe has been taking drugs and sleeping with a boy and... and... He's not taking it very well and I'm worried, he is behaving really strangely" I wait and glance at Christian once more, but he is just staring into space.

"When you say strange, what do you mean?" John asks.

"He was incandescent with rage, screaming and yelling but now, it's like he isn't here, he is staring into space and not saying anything and when he looks at me, he's not if you get what I mean, he is looking through me rather than at me," I say.

"Ok, that's worrying, keep him calm and I'll be right over," he says kindly.

I take a deep breath and sigh with relief. "Thank you, John I appreciate that".

I sit and gently rock Christian in my arms, "Come on baby come back to me" I keep saying but he doesn't seem to listen to me.

I don't know how long we sit there; but I am pulled from my thoughts by a knock at the door.

"Come in" I call.

The door opens and John Flynn walks in, I breathe a sigh of relief, he smiles at me and looks at Christian and frowns.

"What's happened?" He asks.

I quickly go through the events of the morning from beginning to end, he shakes his head.

"I'm glad you called me Ana, would you mind leaving us for a while" she smiles at me again.

"Sure," I say but I don't want to go, I stand, and the movement provokes a reaction, Christian grips my arm.

"No," he says, "Stay."

I look at John and he nods, I sit down again.

John sits down in front of Christian, "Ok Christian, she's not going anywhere, why don't you tell me what's going on?"

I see something flicker in his eyes, he looks at John, "What are you doing here?" he asks him, he turns to me looking confused. Then he starts to remember and realisation dawns on his face.

"Oh god baby, I'm sorry," he says he looks around "Where's Phoebe, I said some awful, terrible things to her" he stands.

" It's alright," I say "I'll go and find her and explain" I move away from him and out the door, I close the door and lean on it breathing heavily, I see Isobel hanging around she looks worried sick, she comes straight to me.

"Where's Phoebe?" I ask.

"In her room, how's dad?" Isobel asks.

"He's talking to someone, just leave them a while," I say.

I go upstairs and find Phoebe in her room with Theo he has his arm around her, and she is sobbing on his shoulder.

"Theo would you leave us for a moment please," I say.

He nods and leaves the room.

I sit down and touch Phoebe's arm, she flings herself on me I wrap my arms around her.

"Phoebe listen to me, your father didn't mean those things he said, it just took him back to a time which was very painful for him and he couldn't handle it."

Phoebe looks at me questioningly, I decide to tell her.

"Your father's birth mother died when he was small... of a drugs overdose, she was dead and he was with her for a number of days before her body was discovered and he was rescued that is why he was so upset when he found out you had been taking drugs."

Phoebe looks shocked, "Shit," she says quietly, "I am so sorry".

I plough on "That experience he went through left a lot of mental scars and this has brought back all those bad memories, now I'm not blaming you for any of that as you didn't know anything about it, but I want to know exactly what has been going on and who gave you the drugs and what you have been doing.

Phoebe nods and takes a deep breath, "Ok mom, full disclosure".

I wrap my arm tightly around her, "Ok I'm listening" I say.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

I am sitting with Phoebe, I am feeling too scared to breathe, she is going to talk and hopefully tell me what the hell is going on with her. It crosses my mind to march her downstairs and get her to talk to Flynn but he has his hands full with Christian at this moment. So I fold my hands in my lap and I look at her expectantly; Phoebe steels herself and takes a deep shuddering breath and begins to talk.

"It all started when I was about 13/14ish it was then when I realised people didn't want to be my friend because they liked me, but for what they thought I could do for them, because of who I am and who dad is and who my brother is; people used me."

"What do you mean used you?" I ask frowning.

Phoebe starts talking and all her thoughts are coming out in a jumbled rush along with a flood of tears.

"Come on mum it's obvious, I'm Christian Grey's daughter. Think about it Christian Grey, multi billionaire business man who is always in the news and in the papers; people thought that meant they could take from me and they thought dad is loaded so they could sponge off me. I am also Theo's little sister and all the girls love Theo and so they became my friend to try and get closer to Theo they thought they would get him to notice them if they were friends with me, but when they realised that wasn't going to happen they didn't want to know me; then I am Izzy's big sister, and do you know how humiliating it is to have people scared of your little sister? They are in awe of her as well. Then there is the constant security, dad knows exactly where I am because he traces my cell... at least he did until I bought a new one and transferred all the calls to my new cell. Ryan is always around and if he isn't around then Wiseman is around. I know I'm a target purely because of dad and his money, do you have any idea what feels like? Then I started noticing boys but they always had an agenda as well, nobody has ever liked me for being me".

"I do" We turn and see Harry standing watching Phoebe.

I look at Harry and smile, "Harry can you give us a few minutes please?" I ask.

He smiles, "I'm sorry Mrs Grey, it wasn't my intention to listen in but I wanted to know what was going on in Phoebe's head too," he says.

He turns and leaves, I look at Phoebe "That boy loves you for being you" I say quietly. Phoebe stares at me realising I am right.

"Go on," I say.

"Well I got fed up with it so I decided to take just like everyone else, I have... I have used boys... you know for sex, so dad's probably right I am a whore especially if he knew how many boys I've slept with, he'd have a fit."

My mouth drops open, I can't believe she is being so blasé and matter of fact about this, I fight to keep my thoughts to myself and just nod.

Phoebe continues with her sorry tale, "I started getting stressed and one of the boys at school suggested I try a bit of cannabis, to chill out, and it worked it calmed me down".

She shrugs, "but I had no idea about dad and how he would react, I never ever wanted to hurt anyone but I have hurt everyone around me" She stops talking and starts to cry bitterly again.

I look at her "Oh Phoebe" I say, I shake my head, "Listen to me, you must stop the drugs, please, not for anyone other than yourself, before you get in too deep."

She nods "I have started getting really paranoid about things recently and I did some research and that is one of the biggest side effects of it."

"Phoebe I know how you feel about the security, I was just the same when I first started seeing your father. I felt suffocated and trapped, it took me a while to realise it was for my own protection and to learn to work with it, there are times I still feel overwhelmed by it all so I know exactly how you feel, but there _are_ people out there who want to hurt you because of who your father is and it would kill him if anything happened to you because of who he is... it would kill all of us all if anything happened to you." I say hoping I am getting through to her on some level.

I pause cringing about the other things she has divulged, "I have no idea what to say about you being sexually active. I was still a virgin when I met your father; he was my first and only".

I pause, as my mind is unhelpfully drifting back to that first night when he flew me to Seattle and he showed me his playroom and made it clear that he wanted me to be his sub and during the course of that conversation I told him I was a virgin". I shake my head to remove those memories from my mind and return to the matter in hand.

Phoebe is staring at me her mouth hanging open, "You were a virgin!" she stammers and my mind immediately goes straight back to Christian's reaction which was almost identical and I nod at her.

"God mom, how old were you?"

"I was twenty-one when I met him, and he was twenty-seven," I say with a smile at the memory.

"Twenty-one and never been screwed, did you live in a convent or something?!" she scoffs.

"Enough Phoebe!" I snap, "I never gave myself to anyone because nobody ever measured up to be the one I was prepared to give myself to, until your father. I decided I would sooner wait until the right man came along, and he did".

I glare at her "We are not talking about my sexual history we are talking about yours, and I hope you have been safe?" I ask.

Phoebe nods but doesn't say anything, and she refuses to maintain eye contact with me.

"Phoebe," I say a chill of terror running through me," have you been safe?" I ask.

I watch as she shifts in her seat and doesn't answer for a moment but when she does it isn't what I wanted to hear.

"Most of the time," she says lowering her head.

"Oh, Phoebe," I say "it's not only unwanted pregnancy you were risking but diseases too," I say, as my mind immediately starts running riot and I decide to take Phoebe to see Dr Green as soon as I can.

"Did you ever sleep with Harry?" I ask.

Phoebe shakes her head, "No" she says, "he was the only one I never slept with."

"How many, Phoebe?" I ask.

She looks at me blankly "I have no idea" she says.

"Ballpark figure," I say.

She shrugs "30ish," she says then blushes and then lowers her head.

I swallow deeply, to me it sounds horrific but I need to keep calm.

"Ok" I say, my head is spinning, "Right, you are stopping the drugs, from now, I am taking you for an examination with Dr Green tomorrow if she can see us, and I want you to talk to John Flynn."

"Who is he?" she asks.

I pause, "He is a friend of your father, he is a... shrink," I say.

"No way, I'm not crazy" she says adamantly as she leaps to her feet.

I stand and I grab her shoulders, "No sweetheart you're not, but you have to admit you've been doing some pretty crazy things" I look her in the eye and she sighs.

"OK," she says it's almost as though the fight has gone and she is spent, I honestly didn't expect it to be that easy.

"Can I talk to dad?" she says.

"I don't know," I say honestly, I have no idea what state Christian is in and what is happening at this moment. A knock at the door answers that when I hear Christians voice coming through the door.

"Phoebe, Phoebe are you in there, I'm so sorry darling can I come in?"

"Daddy" she whispers and rushes to the door, yanking it open and flinging herself at him. Christian is shocked by her reaction and wraps his arms tightly around her and they both stand and sob, apologising over and over to each other. John Flynn stands a few feet away and I ease past Christian and go to him.

"Thank you so much," I say, "Could you work your magic on Phoebe, I'm very worried about her?" John Flynn looks at me with his kind eyes and leads me away to talk privately, I quickly go through everything Phoebe has said and he nods.

"Yes I think a couple of sessions would be beneficial," he says and then he touches my arm reassuringly.

"Don't worry Ana she is a typical teenage girl but all her feelings and emotions are exacerbated by the fact of who she is, but I can work with her to find some better coping strategies."

"Thank you, John," I say gratefully.

"No problem, now if you will excuse me I have to go," he says. I nod and shake his hand.

"Thank you," I say again, and show him out.

Isobel is pacing around the lounge looking worried sick, she heads towards me "How's dad?" she says.

I smile, "he's fine, he is talking with Phoebe at the moment, so give him a while ok" I give her a hug and I feel her relax at my words.

"You never cease to amaze me, Izzy as there are not many people out there who would take on Christian Grey when he going thermonuclear!" I feel her body shudder as she lets out a small giggle at that description.

"Thermonuclear?" she asks as she pulls away and looks up at me.

I nod, "Yes, it's what I used to say when he used to lose it when we were younger, I have never seen him lose it so spectacularly though, I think there is only one other time which comes close, when someone had hurt me and hurt your Aunt Mia, but I only heard about that and didn't witness it firsthand" I say with a shiver.

"Why was dad so upset about the drugs?" Izzy asks "it's not as if it was something really bad like heroin or cocaine, not that I'm condoning Pheebs using drugs at all, but you know..." she says with a shrug.

I shake my head at her, "Isobel, all drugs are bad no matter what they are," I say sternly.

"Yes I know," she says quickly "and don't worry I'm not stupid enough to take anything, I can't believe Phoebe was!" she says shaking her head.

I look at Izzy, and we sit on the sofa and I decide to tell her. "You know how your father was adopted?" I start, and Izzy nods.

I take a deep breath and grasp her hand, "Well, when your father was about 3 or 4 he was found in an apartment with the body of his birth mother, she had died of a drugs overdose. She had been dead for a few days before she was discovered and the authorities called, and your father had been trapped in there with her dead body."

Izzy gasps in horror and looks completely shocked "Shit" she breathes.

"Quite," I say.

I look up and see Christian coming in the door with Phoebe, I rise to my feet and walk towards him. He reaches for me and pulls me tightly towards him, holding me close to his chest and he clings to me and buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply and I reassure him by running my hand up and down his back.

"Daddy," Isobel says quietly.

I look round and she is hovering beside me, Christian also notices and reluctantly he releases me and smiles at her, as he does so she runs into his arms and grips him tightly.

"Are you, ok dad? She asks anxiously as she looks up at him almost trying to read his expression.

"Yes, darling I am," Christian says stroking her head and then he leans down and presses a small kiss to her head.

I see Harry hovering in the doorway, and I look at Phoebe, and as she meets my eyes I nod towards the door. She smiles at him and walks towards him, Christian swings around as he sees her walk away.

"Where are you going?" he asks sharply.

"I need to talk to Harry, I owe him that much" Phoebe answers calmly.

Christian glances at Harry and then back at Phoebe, "Ok but you are grounded do not leave the house" he says firmly.

"No I won't," Phoebe says as she walks away.

A moment later Theo and Alex poke their heads around the doorway, "is it safe?" Theo asks with a grin.

Christian looks ashamed and beckons his sons towards him; he slaps each of them on the shoulder and gives them both a swift hug.

"I'm sorry you saw me like that it won't happen again" he says adamantly.

Theo slaps Christian on the back "You're ok dad, I just never knew you could shout so loud, it was pretty awesome actually!" he says as he smiles but I know he is trying to make Christian feel better as the smile doesn't reach his eyes. Alex hesitates before wrapping his arms around Christian's waist.

"Remind me never ever to make you that angry," he says solemnly.

Christian ruffles Alex's head "I will," he says with a smile.

**oooOOOooo**

_The next day..._

"Well you are a very lucky young lady" Dr Green is looking hard at Phoebe who is shrinking beneath her hard glare, you are clean, you have not contracted any sexually transmitted diseases.

I sigh and sag with relief as I look at Phoebe who is also looking very relieved to hear that.

"Right then now we had better check for pregnancy" Dr Green says with that trademark to the point attitude, and she hands Phoebe a small cup, "the toilets are just outside," she says pointing to the door.

After what seems like ages Phoebe returns with the small cup and a disgusted expression on her face as she hands it to Dr Green. I am holding my breath as Dr Green takes it from her and then plunges a small white stick into it. I am unable to take my eyes off the stick, and as it turns blue, my heart sinks, and I feel a bit sick. Dr Green's eyebrows rise and she looks at me briefly before she looks at Phoebe.

"Oh dear," she says.

"What?" Phoebe asks staring at the stick, "What does a blue stick mean?"

"It means you are pregnant Phoebe," Dr Green says.

"No," she says, she looks at me pleadingly her face is white "Mom?" she says.

I shake my head, unable to say anything.

Dr Green ushers Phoebe over to the ultrasound, all the memories come flooding back when I first discovered I was pregnant with Theo, only I was with the man I loved, I'm not even sure Phoebe will know who the father of her baby is. I fight back a wave of nausea at that thought and tears well in my eyes I am not sure what to do, or how the hell I am going to break this to Christian. I look at the ultrasound picture, and my heart lurches when I see the familiar little blip in the centre of the screen. 

"I would estimate you are approximately 6 weeks pregnant, it's very early," Dr Green says, she prints off a picture and hands it to Phoebe.

Phoebe's hands are shaking as she stares at the picture.

As we travel back home I look at Phoebe who is still in shock. "Do you know who the father is?" I ask inwardly cringing that I am actually saying this.

She nods "Kye," she says quietly, "I've not slept with anyone else for about 4-5 months" she adds. Well that's something at least I think but I don't say anything and just nod in understanding.

When we arrive home, Christian is at work and I am working from home and Phoebe goes to her room without a word, I know she is in shock about this and I decide the best thing to do is give her some space to understand and come to terms with the ramifications of her behaviour and what she has done. I pace around the house, trying to decide what to do, when I am forced to make my mind up quickly, as my phone rings. I look at the screen and see Christians name, I steel myself, as I really don't want to tell him over the phone.

I take a deep breath "Hi" I say trying to sound upbeat.

"How did it go with Dr Green?" he asks getting to the point.

"I think you'd better come home," I say "I can't talk to you about this over the phone" I add.

"Christ Ana, what's happened, has someone given her a disease?" he is starting to panic and I want to avoid a meltdown.

"Please Christian, just come home," I say.

"Ok baby I'm on my way," he says.

Twenty minutes later he is striding into the house, he looks at me and I grasp his hand, "come and sit down, and please don't overreact" I say "Phoebe come here" I shout.

Phoebe appears and it is obvious she has been crying, her pale face and red shiny eyes, she looks a mess.

"Oh daddy I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she says tears pouring down her cheeks.

Christians stands up and hugs her "Tell me, Phoebe," he says.

"I... I... I'm pregnant" she stutters.

Christian freezes and the colour drains from his face "What?" he whispers, he holds her away from him, "What did you just say?" he asks again.

"I'm going to have a baby" she mutters.

Christian's hands fly to his hair and he makes an unearthly almost feral sound and then falls to his knees.

"Daddy don't, please don't," Phoebe says and kneels down beside him and wraps her arms around him, "please daddy don't be mad at me, please daddy I'm so sorry, please daddy" she is rambling.

Christian pushes her away and stands, and then he turns and leaves the room slamming the door behind him. Phoebe crumples in a heap on the floor and sobs. I don't know what to do, I stare at Phoebe but at this moment I am more concerned about Christian, I touch Phoebe's arm and pull her up and into my arms.

"It will be ok," I say hoping that I am right.

Phoebe nods; she closes her eyes and sobs.

When I have Phoebe settled I go in search of Christian and I find him in his office on the phone.

"Ok thanks" he says and hangs up.

He looks tortured and he has shut down completely, his face has that damned impassive look on it and he looks cool and calm, but I know differently, he is totally destroyed inside.

"Christian," I say.

He looks at me, and for a second, I see a bleak look in his eyes, "She is too young to have a child" he says quietly and I nod because I totally agree with him.

"Did she tell you who the father is, is that boy, Kye?" he asks and I nod again confirming that, and he closes his eyes as if he is in pain.

"Welch just sent me through the information he has on him, he already has 2 children who he has fathered and has nothing to do with and doesn't support."

"How old is he?" I ask.

"Twenty-two" he replies, "he is unemployed and he has a record – twelve months in juvie for assault when he was 14, he's a real catch," Christian says sourly.

Before he can say anything else Phoebe bursts in through the door sobbing, "I've just phoned Kye and told him" she sobs.

"He told me it's not his problem and he said it's up to me what I do, he said it would be best if I just got rid of it" she sobs uncontrollably.

Christian walks towards her his hands on his hips, and he glares down at her. I can see he is torn, part of him wants to console her but there is another part of him which wants to punish her for her stupidity for getting herself into this mess.

Phoebe reaches out and clings to him, "Oh daddy what am I going to do?"

Christian goes rigid he doesn't console her, his eyes are like ice his hand's fist at his side, and he hesitates but when he moves, he pushes her away.

"I don't know, this is a situation which I cannot help, this one is all yours to decide what to do as only you can make that decision. You were old enough to have sex with that boy so you must be old enough to face the consequences" he says coldly.

Phoebe looks at me pleadingly.

"He's right," I say quietly.

Phoebe bursts into tears and runs from the room. Christian sinks to his chair and puts his head in his hands resting his elbows on the table.

"What a mess," he says quietly, then he looks up at me his eyes bleak, "Ana what do I do? I have no idea how to handle this. I have never disciplined my children physically, I've never laid a finger on any of them, I have always tried always to be a good father and I have given all my children an equal chance, and given them very opportunity and advantage I possibly could to succeed but Phoebe has always rebelled, there has always been that difference with her the others take the opportunities and they run with them but she always pushes against me she believes everyone is against her and rebels against that belief. I have no idea what goes through her mind, the way she behaved going right back to when she was a child and now this I'm lost Ana I just don't have any idea what to do".

I sit on the edge of his desk and he pulls me towards him and lays his head on my lap, I gently run my hands through his hair.

"I don't know either," I say quietly and he grips me even tighter.

"I told Phoebe about your birth mother," I say quietly, his head shoots up and he looks at me.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because she couldn't understand your huge reaction to the cannabis, I told Isobel as well because she asked why you had reacted the way you did. If it's any consolation I think it has helped her decide not to take that stuff again... Phoebe that is".

He sighs and rests his head back down on my lap, "I suppose we should have told them all, the story before now and maybe we wouldn't be facing some of the things we are now facing. We have been naive Ana, thinking our children wouldn't do that sort of thing. Phoebe has proven that spectacularly the past few days".

There is a knock at the door, I turn "come in" I call and Christian lifts his head off my lap and rests it in his hands again.

The door opens and Gail pokes her head around it, "Excuse me but I thought you should know that Phoebe is in her room packing".

"Thank you for telling us" I say and before I can move Christian stands and sighs before leaving the room.

I hesitate as I watch him go I should really go after him, but I just don't have the energy. I make the effort and as I walk upstairs I hear Phoebe talking.

"I need some room to think things through, I want to be alone for a while, and so I'm going to Escala for a few days while I get things straight in my head and decide what I am going to do".

I hear Christian answer her "OK, it's probably for the best," he says there is no emotion in his voice. He leaves her room and stops when he sees me, "Phoebe is..." he starts.

I hold my hand up to silence him, "I heard" I say, he nods and walks past me, I watch him go, he stops turns and returns to me, he places a small kiss on my lips.

"I'm going back to work, I have things I need to finish and I'll be home later" he smiles at me but it is weak and forced.

I nod and stroke his arm, I pull him towards me and kiss him and wrap my arms around him He hesitates but then moves towards me and holds me tightly to him.

He is struggling as I am with this, neither of us has any idea how to handle it, do we support her and risk her thinking that this sort of behaviour is being condoned, or do we take a hard line and risk alienating her completely?

I need some advice, my mother would be the obvious choice she had me when she was young, but she is no longer here anymore and at this moment I miss her terribly so I decide to call Ray, he is calm and not likely to overreact and that is what I need right now.

I wait until Christian has left and I go into the library and curl up on the sofa and stare at my phone, I take a deep breath and make the call.

"Hello," Ray says as he answers, his voice has a calming effect on me straight away, tears well up in my eyes, at the sound of his voice."

"Hi daddy," I say.

"Annie, what a lovely surprise, why you phoning your old man at this time of day?" he asks.

"Oh daddy," I say unable to control my emotions.

"Hey, Annie what's wrong," he asks sounding concerned.

"It's Phoebe... she has gone off the rails, we have found out she has been taking drugs and sleeping around, and we have just discovered she... she's pregnant".

The silence draws out between us over the phone line.

"Dad?" I ask not able to bear it anymore.

"I'm still here Annie, I'm just a bit taken back that's all, pregnant, is she sure?" he asks.

"Yes" I reply "I took her to Dr Green and it was confirmed."

"Hell Annie, you know how to knock a man off his feet, and drugs too, Christ Annie!"

"I'm sorry dad, I just wanted to share, and get some advice. Christian and I have no idea what to do or how to handle it, we are floundering and... I need you daddy" I say.

"Do you want me to come over to you?" he asks after a moment's silence.

"Would you?" I ask hopefully.

"Sure, sit tight Annie I'll be with you as soon as I can" he says, and the feeling of relief that goes through me at the thought my dad is coming to help me is huge.

A couple of hours or so later and I am sitting with my father on the sofa, he has his arm wrapped around me, and in his other hand is a mug of tea. He looks shocked by the details of the last few days which I have just relayed to him.

"Whoa Annie, that girl has really gone off the rails," he says shaking his head.

"Tell me about it!" I snort.

"I don't know what to tell you, Annie, you called asking for my opinion so I'm going to give it. As far as I can see there is right and wrong on both sides. If you ask me, you have spoilt that girl. A few spankings would have been in order over the years, and I'm surprised Christian didn't do it a few times" he says and then stops speaking and looks hard at me waiting for my response.

I sigh and shake my head and explain why Christian has always shied away from physical punishment.

"As you know Christian was adopted and before he was adopted he was physically abused by his birth mothers... erm... boyfriend, it left him physically and mentally scarred so he swore he would never use physical punishment on his children and I have always supported that" I say.

I obviously don't mention the fact that Christian had also confided in me once that after using physical punishment in a sexual context he said he couldn't ever bring himself to physically punish our children as to him it would feel wrong.

"Oh I see," Ray says quietly.

"What would you have done dad if it was me?" I ask.

"Jesus Annie I can't answer that, you were such a good girl", he frowns "Well, I would have put you across my knee for the drugs and for the sleeping around, but the baby... Annie, I don't know what to say, she needs to decide what to do for herself there is no other way."

"She is going to stay at Escala for a while by herself to think things through," I say.

"Is that wise Annie, why can't she think here where you can keep an eye on her?"

"That's the whole problem she wants space away from us to think," I say. 

"She wants, but what about what you and Christian want Annie? You are the parents she can't dictate her terms all the while. This is what I am talking about, you pussyfoot around her and pander to her it makes her think she can do as she pleases, and she has done".

He stops and shrugs "I'm sorry Annie but you asked me for my opinion and I'm giving it, you have to toughen up with that girl before she wrecks her life completely" he stops and looks around, Phoebe is standing staring at him and it is clear she has heard every word he said.

He doesn't flinch and he meets her gaze unapologetically.

"Hey Pheebs, you've got yourself into a right mess haven't you," he says with his eyebrows raised.

She nods but doesn't say a word.

Just at that moment voices are heard in the hallway and Isobel and Alex come bursting in, they stop when they see Ray, then Alex runs to him and hugs him and Izzy sits down beside him and kisses him on the cheek.

"Hi Granddad what are you doing here?" she asks then she looks at Phoebe and then back at me and realisation enlightens her face.

"What have you done now Phoebe?" she snarls at her.

Phoebe bursts into tears and runs from the room.

"What's up with her?" Izzy says flippantly.

"She's pregnant" I whisper.

"You are kidding!" Izzy says astounded. She stops "Does dad know?" she asks.

I nod.

"Shit" she says and then glances at my father before returning her attention back to me "Sorry granddad, how did he take it is he ok?" she asks anxiously.

"He's taking it as well as expected," I say.

"That good eh?!" Alex says with a rueful smile.

"Your mom wanted some support and advice from her old man about it so that's why I'm here," Ray says smiling at his two grandchildren.

"I'm fed up with her; you should chuck her out and be done with it!" Izzy says adamantly.

Alex looks shocked, "Izzy she needs help and understanding and doing that will only make things ten times worse, how would you feel if it was you?"

"I wouldn't have been stupid enough to get myself into that situation in the first place" Izzy snaps and stalks out the room slamming the door behind her.

"They have just articulated everything I am feeling and the conflict inside me" I say as I huddle closer to my father, I look up into the kind face of the man who I have thought of as a father all my life, he may not be my biological father but he is the only dad I have ever known and loved.

"Go with your gut Annie, that's about the only thing I can tell you, don't be too soft on her but don't be too hard on her either, be there for her but let her know you are not happy and don't condone what she has done."

"Easier said than done" I mutter.

Ray pulls me close and kisses my forehead, "you'll manage it Annie" he says gruffly.

I don't know how long we have been sitting talking when I hear Christian arrive home.

"Ray what a pleasant surprise," he says as he appears in the doorway. We look up and Christian is walking towards us his hand outstretched. My father shuffles to his feet and shakes Christians hand warmly.

"Hello son, Annie called me for a bit of moral support... she told me about the trouble you are both having with Phoebe."

Christian sighs "It's a bad situation made worse by the fact we are both totally out of our depth."

Ray slaps Christians arm, "You'll work it out son, you have four great kids and one has just lost the plot a little at the moment."

"Thanks, Ray I hope so," Christian says. Ray moves towards the door, and Christian frowns "Don't leave on my account Ray, stay and have some dinner with us?"

Ray smiles "No thanks I think you two have stuff to talk about".

Christian looks at Ray "I'd like you to stay... please I'd like to get your take on this" he says.

Ray stills and realises that Christian is asking for help. "Ok thank you I'll stay for dinner but I must head back afterwards," he says.

Christian smiles widely and shouts Gail, as she comes in looking expectantly he says "Gail, Ray is staying for dinner tonight."

She nods "Not a problem Mr Grey, Chicken pot casserole tonight," she says with a smile, "ready in 10 minutes" she adds.

"Thank you, Gail," Christian says as Gail leaves the room. Then I watch Christian and my father head towards Christian's office to talk in private.

Dinner is a sombre affair, Isobel is glowering at Phoebe and Phoebe is irritating Christian by not eating and just pushing her food around her plate.

Ray looks at her. "Phoebe, you need to eat, it's not just you now," he says kindly.

Christian looks at her "Eat Phoebe" he commands.

I look around the table, my father is looking kindly at Phoebe, Isobel is scowling and trying to hold on to her temper, and Christian just looks devastated. Theo isn't here he has returned to Harvard with Harry and Alex is just sitting eating quietly trying to look inconspicuous. I shake my head sadly and return to my food. I have no appetite whatsoever, but I force the food down me, as I don't want Christian to worry about me not eating. I want to say something but I'm not sure if I should, I remember my father's words about going with my gut and I decide to go for it. 

"Phoebe I don't want you to go to Escala, I want you to stay here where we can keep an eye on you, you have plenty of space to be by yourself here to think things through," I say firmly.

Phoebe glares at me and says nothing. Christian looks up in surprise, but doesn't say a word, so I know he will back me up if she starts kicking off about my decision.

After a moment he sighs and turns to Phoebe, "Phoebe" he says kindly.

She looks up at him with bleak eyes. "I want you to know that whatever you decide to do we will support you, but you have to understand that this... situation is ultimately the result of your actions and I cannot and will not condone the behaviour you have displayed, you should have talked to us".

Phoebe nods, "I've been stupid and now I'm paying for it" she admits.

I want a question answered, that I have been thinking about since all this blew up, "Phoebe how did you manage to do what you did with the amount of security around you?" I ask.

Her main gripe was that she was suffocated by security, so how did she manage to outmanoeuvre them.

Phoebe smiles ruefully, "I worked the system, at college Ryan is around but not too close because of the disruptive effect on the other students, so I got proficient in giving him the slip and it gave me a thrill to do so and things just escalated from there".

"You were in school when you did these things?" I ask I'm shocked.

She nods and shrugs but to her credit she does look ashamed.

After dinner my father heads for home, I hug him tightly and watch him leave, Christian is standing with me, his arm around my waist.

I look up at him and he smiles at me, "Ray has given some perspective on this" he says.

"I was just so hung up on the baby and Phoebe's behaviour, I failed to see the reasons behind why Phoebe has been acting like she has, and he gave me a point of view, which is what I was missing". I look at him and realise he is missing the influence of Carrick just as I was missing my mother and for the first time it makes me think of Grace.

"Does Grace know?" I ask.

Christian shakes his head, "not yet unless Phoebe has called her".

"I'd like to get her take on this, remember what a help she was back when Phoebe lost the plot when she was younger," I say staring at Christian.

He nods and as we move to the sofa he reaches for his phone, "so would I" he says as he dials a number. He takes a deep breath, "Mom... I need your help" he says quietly.

I watch as he explains the situation to Grace, and when he hangs up he looks hopeful. "She's on her way" he says.

When Grace arrives she immediately goes to Phoebe. Christian and I sit and wait downstairs after what seems like an eternity Grace appears. She leans down and kisses Christian on the cheek and sits down.

"She is afraid Christian, she has told me everything she has done, and I won't lie she has shocked me, but you have to look at the reasons why she did these things," Grace says gently.

Christian opens his mouth to speak but Grace raises her hand and he shuts his mouth again.

"Christian, she was hurting, and when Phoebe is hurting she lashes out with unacceptable behaviour, that's how she copes, she felt used by her peers, and she decided to use them but she didn't realise in the process she was losing her dignity and self-respect. She has a very low opinion of herself and the way this boy has treated her has compounded that, she needs you both, so please don't push her away, she understands that you are both upset about this but the way you are reacting to this news is confirming for her that she is worthless".

Grace stops and she puts her hand on Christians arm, "Christian look at me" she says.

Christian raises his head and looks into Grace's face she smiles "I know you are angry and disappointed, darling, you are a father and it is every father's nightmare that something like this is going to happen, and you have reacted with your instincts, but you need to pull Phoebe to you not push her away ok?" she says and I watch as Christian thinks about that and then nods.

"Thanks, mom," he says, "Will you stay here tonight please?" he asks.

"Of course," she says smiling.

Isobel comes in, and Grace looks up at her and smiles "Izzy darling how are you?" she says embracing Izzy and kissing her cheek.

"Hi grandma, I'm good, I am guessing you are here because of Pheebs?" she asks getting to the point.

Grace smiles, "I am but I am also here to see my other grandchildren too," she says.

"She's been so stupid, I have no sympathy for her, she should have kept her legs closed or at least used protection," Izzy states bluntly.

"Oh Isobel, everything is so black and white with you isn't it? Can't you show your sister just a little compassion?" Grace asks gently.

Izzy shakes her head, "No she has been like it all her life, she screws up and expects everyone else to pick up the pieces, she never takes responsibility for her actions, and there are always excuses as to why she's screwed up, she always plays the victim card, but now she has another life to consider, so its time she grew up".

"If only life were that easy Isobel" Grace says kindly, "She is a totally different character to you and where you would shrug things off and ignore it, it gets to Phoebe and wounds her, she needs her family around her at the moment, are you going to keep vilifying her or support her?"

Isobel sighs, "She's my sister and I love her, but she is so stupid sometimes". She shakes her head in obvious exasperation.

Grace pulls her tightly to her, "Well it's a good job she has you to ground her and show her the correct path then isn't it" she says.

"Ok," Isobel says quietly.

That night as we lie in bed I turn to Christian, he wraps his arms around me, "You do realise if Phoebe decides to keep the baby that will make us grandparents" he says.

I nod, "Well if I am as good a grandparent as Grace is and you are as good as Ray is and Carrick was then we won't go far wrong," I say as I snuggle into his side.

"I hope so," he says.


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

_Six weeks later..._

Phoebe is now about 12 weeks pregnant and it's time for her to go for another scan at the hospital, Christian has decided he wants to accompany her and there we all sit in the waiting room in silence.

I am thinking back to the day, a few weeks previously when Phoebe came us and told us she couldn't have an abortion or face the thought of going through the pregnancy only to give the child away at the end of it, so she had decided that she was going to keep the baby, and she asked us if she could count on our support, we had assured she could and since then things have been quieter.

She has made good on her vow never to touch drugs again, whether or not this has anything to do with the life growing inside her I don't know but I am pleased she has come to that conclusion. Christian has come around, talking to Grace and my father seemed to have put everything into perspective for him and although he doesn't like what is going on and what has happened and I'm pretty sure he hates the fact he has no control whatsoever over the situation. He is determined to support Phoebe all the way now.

I think back to the emotional talk I had with Phoebe, I had sat and held her in my arms and rocked her as she had told me all her fears for what the future held and laid herself bare, I promised her I would be there for her, whilst at the same time trying to provide practical advice for her to stand on her own two feet and face the enormity of the decision she had made. Christian had insisted that she go into therapy and so she is seeing Flynn regularly and appears to be making progress.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Dr Green who calls Phoebe's name, we walk into the room and after she has her examination we are led into the ultrasound room and Phoebe silently climbs on to the bed. Christian takes the seat beside her and grasps her hand. As the ultrasound wand is rubbed across Phoebe's stomach a picture appears on the screen which looks distinctly human, so different from the little blip of the earlier internal scan. Phoebe takes a sharp intake of breath and gazes at the little figure on the screen, and tears well up in her eyes.

"Is that really my baby?" she whispers and Dr Green nods and smiles at her.

"Indeed it is Phoebe, and everything looks as it should and I would say this confirms my earlier estimate of your dates, this puts you at 12-13 weeks gestation".

Christian is staring at the little figure on the screen, "Our first grandchild," he says to nobody in particular.

All the way home Phoebe is gripping the small scan photograph and staring at it, she suddenly looks up at me and then towards her father who is driving us home.

"I will try and be the best parent I can, I will try and be like you and dad, I have to be this little one's mother and father and I will do my best".

I smile at her, "Phoebe that's all any of us do, children don't come with an instruction manual, you have to do what you think is best, sometimes you get it right and sometimes you get it wrong" I say with a shrug.

I decide to work from home for the remainder of the day and later on, in the afternoon I am working in the library when my phone rings.

"Ana Grey," I say as I answer it.

"Mrs Grey, Mrs Anastasia Grey?" the polite voice says at the end of the line.

"Yes," I say.

"Mrs Grey, I am Professor Whitmore, based at Harvard University, we seem to have a problem, in the past few days there has been a young man who keeps gaining access to the grounds and who is not a student at this establishment, upon further investigation it appears that he is targeting your son Theodore Grey, not maliciously, he just seems intent on wanting to talk to him. We have had to get security a number of times to remove him from the campus. We have been liaising with your security personnel on this matter.

Panic rushes through me, "Do you know who it is?" I ask.

"Your security man informed us his name is Kye Simpson; I thought you should know that we are doing everything we can to keep this man from getting onto campus."

"Have you informed my husband about this?" I ask.

"No, your son asked me not to inform either of you and insisted that he would tell you himself, but after this boy was seen once again today and appears to be very persistent in his attempts I felt it only prudent to make you aware of the situation, but Mr Grey has not yet been informed as far as I am aware" he says.

"Alright, well, thank you for letting me know, there is no need to call my husband I will tell him about this," I say quietly.

I am wondering why Theo has insisted we weren't told and I wonder if he has asked the same thing of his own security and if he has Christian won't be pleased when he does find out.

When Professor Whitmore hangs up I immediately call Theo.

"Hi mom," he says.

"Theo, why didn't you tell us Kye Simpson has been hanging around?" I say.

There is a sigh at the end of the phone, "Because I don't want him to be involved with any of this and if I had told you, you would have told dad and we all know what would have happened then, who told you?" he asks.

"A Professor Whitmore phoned me" I reply.

Theo sighs again, "Listen, mom I swear I'm ok, I asked my security not to tell dad until I've had a chance to figure this out they have given me 3 days to do so, but right now I have to go, I am on my way to a lecture, but please don't tell dad yet as I want to talk to him first. I am coming home this weekend anyway, and so is Harry, so we will talk then ok?"

"Alright," I say.

"Thanks, mom," he says gratefully then I hear him say something to someone who is with him, when he returns his attention to me and he sounds distracted, "Look I really have to go, bye mom, love you," he says hurriedly and then before I can respond he is gone.

"Bye darling," I say quietly even though I know he has gone and hang up. As I am trying to process my thoughts the library door flies open and Isobel strides in and she obviously has a lot to say.

"Mom that piece of shit Kye Simpson has been hanging around the school, he came up to me asking me to give Pheebs a letter or something, I told him where he could shove it."

"When was this?" I ask sharply.

I watch as she looks sheepishly at me, "two days ago, I've been figuring out whether or not I should tell you, and before you tell dad and he goes ape shit, my security know and I've been fully co-operating with them in return for their silence" she says.

"Not you as well?!" I exclaim and then stop dead realising what I have just said.

"What? Who else has he been harassing?" Isobel looks at me her eyes boring into me, and her stance and the way she is looking at me reminds me so much of Christian.

"He has been to Harvard apparently, and tried to get access to Theo, although I have no idea how he managed to get there, as its the other side of the damn country" I say. "Theo doesn't want your father knowing at the moment either, he is coming home at the weekend to discuss it with him, so will you promise me not to say anything until then?" I look at her.

She gazes back at me "Alright" she says, then shrugs, "after all I didn't want dad to know either" she adds as she pulls her phone from her pocket.

"Who are you calling?" I ask.

She shakes her head but her gaze is fixed to her phone. "No-one, I am texting Theo, telling him to call me ASAP, so I can tell him what has been happening here," she says, she glances at the screen of her phone and then pushes it back into her pocket. She seems to think for a moment and then looks at me. "Does Pheebs know what's going on?" she asks.

I shake my head, "I don't think so, she hasn't said anything".

"I might go and have a chat with her see if he has been trying to contact her," Isobel says and leaves the room. I carry on working and a while later, the door opens and Isobel is back, "he has" she says flatly. I take a moment to catch up with what she means but when I do my heart sinks I turn and stare at her waiting for her to elaborate.

"He has been phoning and texting her saying he wants to be there for her and the baby, that he's changed his mind and wants to be a father and support her, thankfully Pheebs has told him where to go, as she doesn't believe him and she thinks he has an ulterior motive that he wants money or something and thinks if he gets back in with her he'll be set for life, so thankfully she has blocked his number and is ignoring him, which is probably why he is now targeting the rest of us, he is using us to try and get to her instead."

I nod, that very thought had crossed my mind too, and I am relieved that Phoebe isn't falling for it, and I just hope she can stay strong as she has done her best to distance herself from him. Phoebe is going back to college shortly and the last thing I want is for her to be harassed by this boy. I desperately want to talk things over with Christian, but Theo is right, if he gets involved he will overreact and probably make things ten times worse.

**oooOOOooo**

It is Friday evening, and my son has just arrived home, he throws his bags down and embraces me, he towers over me now, he is taller than Christian and the same build. He is strikingly and breathtakingly beautiful, at this moment though he looks tired, Harry is beside him and he looks pensive. I turn to Harry and give him a swift hug as well.

"Hello, Harry how are you?" I ask smiling at him.

"Hi Mrs Grey, I'm tired it was a long flight... how's Phoebe?" he asks.

"She's bearing up, she has decided to keep the baby, and now it seems that Kye has put in reappearance".

Harry nods, "I know, I saw him being dragged off campus a couple of times, and when Theo told me what was going on it worried me he might try other ways to get to her and it seems he has after what Izzy told Theo, about him making a nuisance of himself here, I definitely think he has an agenda, and he's not being genuine".

"I agree" I say, "Listen come on in and get something to eat, Christian will be home soon and we all need to sit and talk about this".

"THEO!" a shout from behind me makes me jump and I turn to see Isobel hurtling towards her brother, Theo picks her up in his arms and swings her around.

"When did you get here?" she asks him, as she hugs him tightly.

"Just, I have to say its handy having dads jet ferry us about!" he says with a grin.

She laughs loudly and wraps her arms around his neck. As he drops her to the ground she walks over and playfully punches Harry on the arm, "Hey dude, how're things with you?" she asks.

Harry grins at her and nods "I'm good, and if you'll excuse me I am going to find Gail" He grabs his bags and moves towards the kitchen in search of his aunt.

A few moments later we hear exclamations of joy coming from Gail. I turn my attention towards Theo, "come on let's sit down we need to talk and compare notes" I say Theo nods grimly and moves towards the sofa. As we sit down, Phoebe walks in she smiles when she sees Theo and runs to him, he stands up and wraps his arms around her.

"Hey sis how are you?" he asks gently, she smiles at him and whispers something in his ear, which nobody else catches.

As we all sit and compare stories, it seems Kye has been trying his hardest to gain access to Phoebe; He has made a nuisance of himself at Harvard, getting himself escorted off the campus on numerous occasions, although none of us can work out how he actually got there.

Phoebe reveals he has been phoning her, texting her and generally harassing her, so much so that she has blocked his number from her phone. Isobel has only encountered him once which doesn't surprise me, he tried and she gave him short shrift and considering how she has behaved towards him in the past, I don't think he wants to risk a repeat of that again.

As we are talking Alex wanders through, with an envelope in his hand, he beams at Theo and hands the envelope to Phoebe. We all still and stare at the envelope.

"Who gave you that?" Isobel snaps.

"Kye" he just asked me to give it to Phoebe, I took it and he left. He seems unconcerned as to what he has done and wanders away until Theo calls him back. 

"When?" I ask alarmed. 

"Just now he was hanging around outside," Alex says.

"Where was your security?" I ask.

"They went to the security office for their briefing," he says looking at each of us with a confused and slightly scared expression, "Why?" he asks.

Theo stands and looks at Alex, "Alex listen bro, if he approaches you again don't take anything else from him, or have anything to do with him ok and you must tell your security and us immediately". Alex just nods in agreement.

"OK," he says.

Theo sighs, "I feel responsible for this because I have practically blackmailed my security to keep quiet I put everyone else at risk," he says but Izzy pats his arm reassuringly.

"Well you're not the only one, I did the same thing, and Pheebs didn't tell anyone he had tried to contact her either," she says.

This brings everyone's attention back to Phoebe, who has opened the note and is reading it, when she has finished she hands it to me.

"This is such bullshit!" she splutters indignantly.

I open it and begin to read;

_Dear Phoebe_

_How are you? I hope you are alright, I have heard you have decided to keep our baby, and I have to say I am pleased. I am sorry for the way I spoke to you that day, when your father confronted me it was just a shock and my mouth ran away with me. _

_It was all a shock and I didn't mean it, any of it but when I realised who your sister was I got scared that you would be angry with me. I am also sorry for the what I said when you called me to tell me you were pregnant, it was wrong, I was in shock and I reacted badly, I hope that you will forgive me. I want to help support you and be a good father to our baby, I am excited at the prospect of becoming a father, and I want to share that with you._

_Please let me know when you go for your hospital appointments and I can meet you there._

_Please forgive me._

_Kye x_

Phoebe looks at me, "what are you thinking?" she asks.

I look at her, "Well, what he says doesn't make any sense and also that words are cheap!" I say, "Is he as eager to be a father to his other children?"

"Other children?" Theo and Isobel say in unison.

I nod, "Your father got Welch to do a security check on him, apparently he is quite something, he has a criminal record – he was in juvie for assault when he was younger, and he has fathered two other children who he has nothing to do with or support".

Phoebe goes white and closes her eyes and Theo wraps his arm around her. Alex looks stunned and Isobel just looks disgusted. Isobel learns towards me and takes the note from me and reads it.

"Bullshit!" she splutters when she has read it, "he is after something, he has to be".

Phoebe nods, "I think he was only interested in me because of who my father is" she says sadly. I hear a car pull into the drive and look out of the window.

I turn and look back at my children, "your father is home" I say.

As Christian enters the room, his face breaks into a huge smile when he sees Theo, who rises from the sofa and walks over to Christian. I watch as Christian pulls him into a hug and greets him affectionately.

"What a pleasant surprise, home for the weekend?" he asks; Theo nods and takes a shot look at Phoebe and Isobel.

Christian notices and immediately stiffens "What's going on?" he asks as he looks at the faces of his two daughters.

I walk over and grasp his hand "Sit down Christian we have something we need to talk about".

He shrugs out of his jacket and throws it on the chair, and sits himself down on the seat and crosses his legs resting his ankle on his knee. Isobel rises and fetches her father a glass of whiskey, as she offers it to him, she smiles as he thanks her and then she returns to her seat.

Theo leans forward towards Christian and takes a deep breath, "Kye has been in touch and is making a nuisance of himself" he starts.

Christian listens as everyone tells him what has been happening, I see him getting angrier and angrier. He tosses back his drink, stands and walks away towards the direction of his study, Theo and Isobel quickly rise to follow him and Isobel is clutching the letter which Kye sent to Phoebe. Phoebe just sits looking at me, and I pull her close.

"Don't worry," I say.

I pull her to her feet and we head towards Christian study to find out what is going on. We walk in to see Christian on the phone to Welch, Theo and Izzy are standing alongside him, he is finishing up his call and puts the phone down as we enter the room.

He looks up at Phoebe "Ok Welsh is organising a restraining order to be put in place".

At that Phoebe sighs with relief and smiles. "Welch is trying to contact the mothers of the other children to get some idea of how they were treated, to see if he ever made any contact like this with them, or whether it is just about you". He pauses, "When you return to college on Monday... security will be tight" he looks at her questioningly.

Phoebe smiles and nods "I understand, that's fine", she touches her stomach, "I can live with that," she says she walks towards Christian, and hugs him, "Thank you, daddy," she says quietly.

I am relieved that he appears to have taken the news so well, but that relief is short lived as a while later I hear him in the security room bellowing at the team, for keeping him in the dark about Kye's reappearance and threatening that if they ever to that again they will all be fired. I also hear Taylor shouting which goes to how serious he takes this matter as Taylor never shouts.

**oooOOOooo**

The weekend passes far too quickly and all too soon Theo is heading back across the country to Massachusetts. Harry has been spending a lot of time with Phoebe over the weekend and they have spent most of the time talking.

I go with Christian to Sea-Tac to see them off, I hug Theo tightly "come home soon", I whisper in his ear and kiss him on the cheek.

"Mom" he complains but there is still a smile on his face.

I pull him to one side and whisper in his ear, "I am planning a party for the beginning of August, we didn't celebrate your fathers 50th birthday properly because of everything that has been going on, and it will be our wedding anniversary then."

Theo nods, "let me know when and I'll fly back" he kisses my cheek and turns to Christian who is standing waiting, he embraces his father tightly and Christian slaps him on the back and then he turns and climbs aboard the GEH jet. Harry is saying goodbye to Gail and Taylor and I smile as I see Taylor embracing Harry before he turns to board the plane. As he leaves Harry turns and waves to me and to Christian and we wave back and watch him disappear into the plane.

When we return home Phoebe is waiting for us, she looks excited about something. I haven't seen her this animated for a while and as she smiles at us it is clear that she has something to say. Christian looks at her questioningly.

"Something on your mind Pheebs?" he asks kindly.

She nods, "I had a long talk with Harry while he was here, he has forgiven me for how I treated him, he told me he still loves me, that he always loved me..."

She takes a deep breath and then she continues, "He said he would take me back and take care of me and the baby" she stops and looks questioningly as us, "would I be using him if I agreed and let him?" she looks at me and then Christian.

Christian leads her to the sofa, "Phoebe, you would only be using him if you didn't love him, and that would be really wrong, so, do you love him?"

Phoebe stares at Christian and thinks about what he said and she slowly nods, "I have always loved him, I regret hurting him and acting stupid, I don't even know why I did it now, I never had real feelings for Kye but it was like an infatuation, almost like I was out of my mind; but Harry, it hurts when I think of how I have hurt him and betrayed him" and she clutches at her chest.

Christian takes her hand "Well there is your answer then," he says.

**oooOOOooo**

The next couple of weeks are a blur of work, anti-natal visits with Phoebe and organising the party for Christian and our anniversary. Everyone has been roped in, Jose and Sophie are coming, Kate and her new husband Geoff are coming, and all the family it's going to be one hell of a party.

Grace has taken over most of the organising for me as I am at work and have a lot of projects coming to a conclusion there as well. Christian thinks it is a party for our wedding anniversary, he has no idea I have planned to incorporate his 50th birthday as well, albeit belatedly.

The day of the party dawns I am beside myself with excitement, Isobel and Grace have been busy all morning, Phoebe has been helping but every time she has gone to lift something heavier than a teacup, Isobel has snarled at her to stop. I am anxiously waiting for everyone to arrive, as I can't wait to see Kate again, because it's been ages.

People start to arrive, Elliot arrives with Ava, Zoe and Noah and he slaps Christian on the back and heads outside, then Jose and Sophie arrive, Alice runs straight to Taylor and Sophie shows off little Jason, who is totally oblivious and is fast asleep in his car seat. Mia and Ethan arrive and Jonathan makes a beeline for Isobel, she high fives him and takes him to fetch a drink then Ray arrives and Theo and Alex greet him enthusiastically, he comes over to me and kisses my cheek.

"Hey, Annie," he says.

"Hi dad," I say, Christian appears at Ray's side and hand him a bottle of beer, Ray smiles as he accepts it.

I look around the room everyone is happy and enjoying themselves, I see Elliot's expression change and he is staring pointedly across the room, I follow his gaze and look to see Kate standing in the doorway, my heart leaps and I rush towards her and embrace her.

"Kate I'm so glad you came," I say.

"Hi Ana, you look well" she turns to the tall man beside her "Ana this is Geoff my husband". He looks familiar but I can't place him, Phoebe comes over and pulls my sleeve. I turn and see she has gone deathly white.

"What's wrong, do you feel ill?" I ask.

Phoebe shakes her head, "That man, he is Kye's uncle, Geoff Simpson, Kye used to talk about him and he had a photo of him."

"What!" I exclaim, and Phoebe nods. I look at Geoff and realise why he seems familiar now, Kye looks like him.

He starts walking towards us, "Mrs Grey, may I call you Ana?" he says smoothly extending his hand to me, I shake it but say nothing. "And you must be Phoebe," he says turning his attention to her.

I feel a hand around my waist "What the hell are you doing here Simpson?" Christian's cold voice is so quiet – too quiet.

Geoff Simpson smiles "I'm escorting my wife she was invited and I am her escort" he sneers "I am also here to see Phoebe; after all, she is carrying my great nephew or niece."

I see Kate watching intently, she is listening to everything that is being said and a horrified look appears on her face.

"What is going on?" she whispers fiercely.

Geoff turns to her "Nothing, go away" he snaps rudely.

"I will not" she hisses she turns to me "Ana?" she asks.

I sigh, "His nephew has made Phoebe pregnant," I say, Kate gapes at Phoebe and Phoebe puts her head down.

Christian steps forward, "and I bought his company and dismantled it and he never forgave me for it," he says calmly.

It is my turn to gape now. "I'm sorry Kate, but I am going to have to ask your husband to leave."

"Ana, I had no idea," she says. Christian is signalling to Taylor and Sawyer, Taylor hands Alice to Gail and walks over.

"Please escort Mr Simpson from the property" Christian says in a cool voice.

"Don't worry, I'm leaving," he says he turns to Kate "are you coming?" he asks.

Kate shakes her head, "You used me" she says bitterly.

Geoff Simpson simply shrugs dismissively and then turns on his heel and leaves accompanied by Sawyer.

Thankfully no-one seems to have noticed, except Isobel, she appears at my side, "What's going on?" she demands.

I turn to her and smile, "It appears Kate's new husband is related to Kye - he's his uncle and he lost his company to your father, so he has a grudge" Isobel gapes at me, then turns to Kate.

"Did you know?" she asks sharply.

Kate shakes her head "I had no idea" she says, "In fact, I am feeling used now, I am feeling he only wanted me to get access to Christian."

I look at Kate, "But you live in New York now" I say, "We hardly ever see you."

"He tried to talk me out of moving to New York," she says bitterly.

Phoebe's lip starts to tremble, "Do you think Kye targeted me?" she asks quietly.

Christian wraps his arm around Phoebe's shoulder, and pulls her close "I'm hoping it's just a coincidence, but I'm guessing when Simpson found out about the situation between you and Kye he decided to exploit it, which would explain Kye's sudden interest in getting back with you and the lengths he went to, to try and contact you" he says gently.

"Phoebe?" Harry is standing looking concerned.

Phoebe bursts into tears and Harry steps forward his arms open, Christian reluctantly releases her and she walks into Harry's arms and he leads her out of the room, Christian watches her go and swallows deeply.

"Come on," I say brightly, "This is a party, not a wake." Kate smiles at me.

I see Elliot hovering in the background he has a determined expression on his face.

"Kate we need to talk, now," he says Kate turns and looks at him and frowns.

"OK," she says, Elliot follows her outside.

"What was that all about?" Christian whispers to me.

I shrug, "I have no idea" I turn to Christian and wrap my arms around him and I kiss him gently on the lips he deepens the kiss and pulls me closer.

"Carry on like this and I will be dragging you upstairs" he whispers seductively in my ear and I giggle.

"Maybe later" I whisper.

I pull away and walk over to Jose and Sophie who are talking with Mia and Ethan, Jose stands and embraces me.

"Hi Ana, everything ok?" he asks, I nod and sit down.

Sophie smiles at me, "How's Phoebe?" she asks.

"Bearing up," I say.

Sophie nods, "It's a huge thing she has decided to do".

The party goes well, but Kate and Elliot have been missing since he demanded that he needed to talk to her, I put it out of my mind and try and enjoy the party, about halfway through the evening I notice that everyone is in the room, including Kate and Elliot although neither of them looks happy and I decide now is the time to surprise Christian.

I look for Isobel and Alex, I spot them, make eye contact with Isobel and nod towards Christian, Isobel's eyes light up and she nods back, then as smoothly as if it had been rehearsed she nods to Grace who goes to stand by the light switch and then grabs Alex's arm and whispers in his ear, he makes a beeline for Christian as Isobel then moves into the kitchen. Alex manoeuvres Christian to the centre of the room, and I walk over, as I do so I take a deep breath.

"Can I have a moment please to say a few words" I shout and the room immediately goes quiet and everyone has their attention firmly focussed on me.

"You are all here to help us celebrate our wedding anniversary, and I would like to thank you all for coming" I pause and wrap my arm around Christians waist, "I would also like to take this opportunity to wish my wonderful husband a belated happy 50th birthday, due to things going on the past few months we didn't get to celebrate in the style I would have liked, so better late than never we are going to do it now".

I watch as the door opens and Isobel walks in with a huge cake in the shape of a number 50 lit with 50 candles, Grace snaps the light out and everyone breaks into a rousing chorus of 'Happy birthday'. Christian looks stunned; he blows out his candles and Grace turns the lights back on. He turns towards me and yanking me into his arms he kisses me soundly.

"Get a room" Elliot calls, but there is something distinctly forced about his jovial remark and I wonder again what is going on there.

It is a wonderful party, I see Sophie talking with Phoebe. Phoebe is holding little Jason in her arms he is oblivious to everything going on around him. I see Harry hovering; he hasn't left Phoebe's side all night since the unpleasantness with Geoff Simpson.

I see Isobel dancing and her little shadow Jonathan is not too far away, I turn and see Elliot and Kate, they are once again in deep conversation and now Zoe is with them and is shaking her head and she looks upset. Ava is talking with Theo a few feet away and that looks pretty intense too and Theo has his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Grace and Ray are chatting happily on the sofa, for two people from such different backgrounds they are comfortable and happy in each other's company, and always have been.

Jose comes up to me, "Great party" he says.

"Thanks" I reply but I can't help wondering what is going on in certain parts of the room.

Christian joins us and shakes Jose's hand and thanks him for coming, and Jose grins as he turns to us "I have an announcement of my own" he says.

"I got promoted, you are now looking at the head of the Creative Advertising Department" he grins at me.

"Jose, that is fantastic, well done!" I squeal and fling my arms around him. He nods.

"But it also means we are moving" he adds his face growing serious.

"Oh," I say "Where to?"

"The head office, in Chicago" he replies.

"Oh," I say again.

Christian slaps him on the shoulder, "you deserve it well done, have you told Taylor?" he asks.

Jose nods, "he is pleased for us of course, but I'm still convinced he thinks I'm not good enough for Sophie and is worried because we are moving away, but I have assured him that we will phone, email and Skype him regularly, and Chicago isn't the other side of the world, and we will come and visit, and he can come to us" he says and Christian nods in agreement.

"Excuse me" a voice butts in, we turn and see Harry standing near, Phoebe comes up and joins him and grabs his hand.

Jose moves away and we turn to Harry. Christian is staring at Phoebe's linked hand with Harry.

Harry takes a deep breath, "Mr Grey, Mrs Grey" he says then stops, "I was wondering... what I mean is... would you... erm" he pauses and Phoebe jumps in.

"Daddy he's asked me to marry him," she says.

Christian's mouth drops open and I reach for his arm and feel him stiffen, I know this could go either way, so I hold my breath praying he doesn't overreact.

Harry nods enthusiastically "I have, and I would like your permission and blessing, sir," he says rapidly. Christian is lost for words.

"You are both so young," I say quickly before Christian can react.

Harry nods, "I know, Phoebe is only 19, well nearly 20 but I love her, and I want to protect her and the baby, you gave me a chance in life Mr Grey a chance which I would never have experienced otherwise, and you have transformed my life completely, and living with Aunt Gail and Jason has made me realise it's not the person who donates the sperm who is the father but the person who loves and takes care of that baby. I have been extremely lucky and if I am as good a father as Jason has been to me, and also... you sir, as I look on you as a kind of surrogate father, I know that sounds all kinds of weird when I'm asking you if I can marry your daughter but I am hoping you get what I am trying to say." He waits and he looks a little bit flustered now.

I smile I know that he is rambling because he is nervous and afraid of what Christian's reaction is going to be.

After a moment Christian smiles, "I know exactly what you are trying to say, I was adopted and I agree wholeheartedly with that, however, I am concerned Phoebe is only 19," he says. I am impressed at how calmly he is taking this and my grip on his arm relaxes a little.

Harry raises his hand, "I totally understand that sir, and I am not prepared yet to take the plunge I want to wait until I graduate and Phoebe turns 21 before we actually make it official. I just want your permission to do so when the time comes, and I promise you I will take care of her and raise the child as my own, I want to get engaged to your daughter for the time being, I want her to feel secure in the knowledge she will have a husband and father for her baby, because I love her, I have always loved her". He stops and gazes at Phoebe as he says those final words.

Christian looks at Phoebe, "Is this what you want?" he asks.

Phoebe nods enthusiastically, "It is daddy," she says firmly.

Christian takes a moment and then nods his head, "Alright," he says quietly, "You have my blessing". I hug Harry tightly.

Phoebe releases Harry's hand and hugs Christian, "Thank you daddy" she whispers.

As Phoebe and Harry walk away Kate wanders over and grasps my arm, "Ana" she says quietly, I take a moment to really look at her and she looks like death.

"What on earth is the matter?" I say as I lead her from the room.

"Can I impose on you and Christian for a while?" she asks.

"What's wrong Kate?" Christian has appeared beside me and is looking at her.

Kate is shaking; I have never seen her like this there is an eerie calm about her as though.

"I have just discovered my husband," she spits those words out as though they are something dirty "has been sexually assaulting Ava" she stops.

"What!" Christian and I say in unison horrified at what we have just heard.

She nods, "Ava told Elliot, I should have seen the signs I am a terrible mother, I didn't know... she has been asking me if she can go and live with Elliot for a couple of months and I didn't think anything of it, my poor baby" she stops again.

"What did he do to her," I ask, afraid of what she is going to say.

"He touched her and he forced her to touch him, she assures me he didn't go any further, thank god but it was only a matter of time." Elliot appears, he stares at Kate and then at us.

"She has told you then," he says bitterly.

"Elliot I am so sorry" Kate whispers.

Elliot raises his hand waves it dismissively, "you are not to blame, he covered his tracks carefully" he says, "But I swear to god if I ever see him again I will kill him" he says.

Christian quickly takes charge, "He cannot be allowed to get away with this, Elliot phone the police and get him arrested and off the streets, Kate my jet is taking Theo and Harry back to Harvard tomorrow, you have it at your disposal. Go with Theo and Harry and it will take you back to New York to clear your apartment and do what you have to do and Taylor will accompany you" he says and then stops waiting for a response.

Kate nods and smiles at him, "Thank you, Christian, I take it I can stay here then until I get myself sorted out?"

"You can stay with me," Elliot says quietly, Kate looks startled and then smiles.

"Thank you, Elliot," she says sincerely.

"No problem," he says as he fishes out his phone "Now to get that fucking scum off the streets," he adds ominously.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

_One month later..._

I am sitting in my office, quickly going through manuscripts of wannabe authors; I am cringing at some of the quality of the writing. There are some good pieces, and some have potential but some I despair at.

As I am engrossed in what I am doing, there is a knock at the door, and Hannah pokes her head around the door, "Excuse me, Ana, Phoebe is here in reception".

I stand immediately, "Phoebe?" panic courses through me as I head towards reception. She stands as I head towards her.

"Phoebe, darling? What's happened, are you alright?" I look down at the small increasingly noticeable bump, and Phoebe gasps my arm.

"I'm fine mom, but I had to come and see you, as the police came today to see me at college."

I pull her towards my office, "The police? Why?" I ask.

She takes a deep breath, "To tell me the restraining order is no longer needed because Kye is dead."

"What?" I gasp, at that moment my phone starts to buzz I look and see it is Christian, "This is your father, so I'm guessing he has also been told" I say. Phoebe holds her hand out for my phone and I give it to her.

"Hi Dad, it's me, Phoebe, I'm with mom, are you ringing about Kye?" She turns to me and nods, confirming that this is indeed Christian's reason for ringing. She listens and then smiles and says simply "ok dad, thanks" and hands the phone to me.

"Christian," I say.

"Ana, I won't stay on long; does Phoebe know how it happened the police officer who came to see me didn't say?" 

"I don't know, you called just as she arrived she hasn't had the chance yet to talk properly about it" I turn to Phoebe, "Were you told what had happened?" I ask her gently.

She nods, "Road accident, he was hit by a van and knocked off his chopper, he was found to have high levels of alcohol in his blood," she says.

"Did you catch that?" I say to Christian.

"I did," he says quietly. "Listen, I have to go, we will talk later," he says.

"Ok, bye," I say.

"Bye baby," he says and hangs up.

"Do you want a drink or anything?" I say to Phoebe, but she shakes her head and follows me to my office where she sits down.

"I wanted him out of my life and now he is, permanently," she says quietly. Then she looks down and she touches her stomach, "not totally though, he will never be completely out of it" she says as she strokes her hand over her small bump. I walk around the table and crouch down and wrap my arms around her. She pulls away and looks up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Am I a monster mom?" she asks suddenly.

I pull away and stare at her, "of course not why would you think such a thing?"

"Because all I can think is happy thoughts, the fact that he is no longer in the background waiting to destroy my life or my baby's, he can no longer come between me and Harry and there is now no longer that threat, me looking over my shoulder and having his shadow hanging over us," she stops and looks at me.

"No Phoebe that's not being a monster, that's being relieved, does Harry know?" I ask.

She nods, "I phoned him as soon as the police left, he wanted to come home but I told him not to, he really loves me, mom," she says. She stands "I'd better get back to college, I just wanted to see you, tell you in person, rather than over the phone, you don't mind do you?" she asks.

"Of course I don't," I say "How are you getting back to college?"

She smiles "Ryan brought me he is waiting outside". With that she turns and leaves, I watch her go and sink into my seat, I push the manuscripts to one side, and grasp my mug of tea and think about everything that has happened recently, culminating in the events of today.

This past month has been a whirlwind of activity after it all came out at the party about what had happened to Ava, Geoff Simpson, was arrested on counts of child abuse he denied it of course and is now awaiting trial.

Kate, is now back in Seattle as she gave up her dream job and has moved back with the girls. She sold the apartment in New York and filed for divorce, and she is still staying with Elliot and they appear to be getting close. She has managed to get a job with her previous employer who was eager to have her back on board. Harry and Phoebe are now officially engaged after asking Christian, and Harry went out and bought Phoebe a beautiful ring. I have my suspicions that Taylor chipped in and Christian also contributed towards it as there is no way he would have been able to afford it otherwise.

Harry has a part-time job at a fast food restaurant near to the university campus but that only pays minimum wage plus tips.

Now we have this, my feelings of relief are huge, as I had feared that Kye would always be looming in the background.

**oooOOOooo**

The rest of the day passes without incident and as I am travelling home my phone rings.

"Mrs Grey, it's me, Harry," the voice says as I answer it.

"Hello, Harry what can I do for you?" I ask.

"I really want to come home to Phoebe, Theo isn't coming he has too much to do, but I need to be with her, do you think it would be alright if I asked Mr Grey if I could use his plane, I don't want to impose, I am prepared to take a regular flight, but obviously it would take longer if I did that?" he stops and waits.

"Harry you need to phone Christian and ask him, not me," I say kindly.

"I know, I just wanted to run it past you to see if you thought it was a bad idea to do so, I don't want to take advantage," he says.

I smile, "Harry, just call him," I say.

"Ok," he says, "Thank you" he hangs up.

We pull into the driveway, and Sawyer opens my door and I smile at him, "Thank you Luke" I say.

"Ma'am" he replies.

I am met by Isobel and Alex arguing and shouting at each other and as I walk in they stop as soon as they see me.

"What the hell is going on?" I say putting my briefcase down and throwing my jacket on the chair.

"Nothing," they both say in unison, and then vanish. I shake my head and walk through to the kitchen Gail is standing at the hob stirring a huge pot, the smell is delicious and makes my mouth water, it is then I realise that I haven't eaten all day and now I am starving.

"That smells delicious Gail," I say as I head to the fridge and pour myself a glass of wine.

"Bolognaise sauce, shouldn't be too long now, as soon as Mr Grey comes home I'll cook the pasta and it will be ready for you" she smiles.

I watch Gail as she bustles around the Kitchen and I feel the need to discuss Harry and Phoebe.

"Gail, how do you feel about Harry and Phoebe?" I ask suddenly.

She pauses and looks at me carefully, "Honestly?" she says, "I wasn't too happy to start with, Phoebe is so young, and Harry well I know they have always been close and how that developed over time, but he explained his reasons to me and he does love her so very much, he talked me around and I couldn't be happier for them" she says, but something about the way she says it doesn't sound too convincing.

"But?" I say. 

"But, I can't help thinking that Kye is going to put in an appearance at some stage and try to destroy what they have," she says.

I sigh, "That's never going to happen I assure you," I say firmly, Gail looks at me questioningly.

"How can you be so sure?" she asks.

"Because Kye is dead, he was killed in a traffic accident; Phoebe came to me today and told me, the police went to her at college to tell her, because of the restraining order against him".

I watch Gail physically relax. "It seems awful that such a terrible thing has made me so relieved," she says quietly.

"I know, we are all feeling like that, in fact, Phoebe asked me if she was a monster because she was so relieved that he was no longer a threat" I say.

Before Gail can answer the kitchen door opens and Christian strides in, he heads to the fridge and pours a glass of wine, then he comes to sit beside me, and as he bends he kisses my hair.

"Hi," he says smiling at me.

"Hi" I reply.

He turns to Gail, "That smells delicious" he says.

"Thank you" she replies with a bright smile, "It will be ready in about 10 minutes" she adds and Christian nods in acceptance.

"Dad" a small voice hisses and Christian turns and sees Isobel in the doorway, I turn to look and see her ferociously beckoning him to go to her, she stops when she sees me.

"Erm dad can I have a word with you alone," she says, I am growing increasingly suspicious, what is she up to, then it dawns on me that my birthday is coming up shortly and I smile wondering if that is what is the cause of all this sudden cloak and dagger behaviour. I shake my head and smile to myself.

I head out to the lounge and see Christian in deep conversation with Phoebe, Isobel and Alex and as soon as I walk in, they all head to Christians study. After what seemed like ages, Christian saunters in and sits down beside me.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says casually.

"Ok, oh by the way, did Harry call you?" I ask.

Christian nods, "He asked for use of my plane, he wants to come home to Phoebe, in light of recent events" he stops, "I have agreed, of course, and he should be back…" he glances at his watch, "tomorrow morning".

I nod. I am a little disappointed that Theo won't be coming home as well, but if he has too much to do, then so be it.

**oooOOOooo**

I am drinking my first cup of tea of the day when Harry arrives looking dishevelled and tired, I am getting ready for work and I smile at him.

"Hello Harry, good flight?" I ask.

He nods, "I tried to sleep for most of the journey, but those sofas are not the most comfortable to try and sleep on."

"You should have used the bedroom," I say shaking my head.

Harry looks at me "I didn't like to" he says. He looks around, "Is Phoebe still asleep?" he asks.

I shake my head, "She's awake, and I think she must be getting ready for college" just as I am saying this Phoebe walks into the kitchen, she stops dead when she sees Harry, and then runs and throws herself into his arms.

"What are you doing here?" she asks staring at him. 

"Oh that's nice, I travel through the night to come back to you because I think you might need me and I am met with what are you doing here!"

Phoebe grins, "I told you I was fine, but I'm glad you came," she says, she plants a chaste kiss on his lips and he immediately deepens it grasping her head and pulling her to him.

I discreetly cough, and they pull apart, embarrassed.

Phoebe's face lights up, "I'm going for a hospital appointment today, do you want to come with me, I think we can find out what the sex of the baby is today?"

Harry's face lights up at this; he has only seen still scan pictures to actually see the baby first hand on the screen would bring them closer. Christian wanders in looking every inch the cool CEO he smiles at Harry as he grabs a mug of coffee.

Harry gently untangles himself from Phoebe and walks over to Christian his hand outstretched. "Thank you so much for allowing me to use your plane to come home," he says politely.

Christian takes his hand and pulls him into a hug, and whispers something in his ear which no-one else hears, Harry looks up and nods tears in his eyes, "Thank you sir" he says emotionally.

Harry and Phoebe leave the room, "what did you say?" I ask.

Christian shrugs "I just told him that he is family and as such, it is there at his disposal anytime," he says flippantly.

"And you have no idea what that means to him do you?" I say shaking my head.

He looks at me and smiles, "Oh, I think I do baby," he says.

"Were you planning on going with Phoebe today?" I ask as he sits beside me and he nods.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because Harry is here and she has asked him to go with her to find out the sex of the baby," I say.

Christian nods, "Well, in that case, no I'm not," he says, but I can tell he is disappointed about it.

Phoebe comes into the room, "Dad are you coming with us to the hospital today?" she asks. Harry is hovering at the door.

Christian looks at her, "Do you want me to?" he asks carefully.

Harry steps forward, and slips his hand around Phoebe's waist and places his hand protectively on her bump. "Mr Grey, we are going to find out the baby's sex today, we would be honoured if you and Mrs Grey were there to find out with us".

"Then I am," Christian says now beaming widely, he glances up to see Gail bustling in, "Good morning Gail," he says as she nearly drops the towels she is carrying when she sees Harry.

"Harry! What are you doing here?" she asks.

Harry laughs and shakes his head, "Everyone is so pleased to see me, that's the second time someone has said that, I came home to be with Phoebe after the news she received yesterday about Kye" he explains.

"How did you get here so quickly?" Gail asks confused.

"Mr Grey sent his plane for me," he says, "and today I am going to find out the sex of our baby" he adds looking at Phoebe.

"Oh," Gail says at a loss, then she composes herself, "what would you like for breakfast?" she asks as she turns towards Christian.

"Omelette please" he turns to Harry, "have you eaten yet?"

Harry shakes his head, Christian gestures to a seat, "Please join us then" he says.

Harry hesitates, looking at Gail and sits down, "I could murder a bacon sandwich" he says smiling sweetly at his aunt, Gail smiles and Phoebe sits down beside him and looks towards Gail.

"If you could make that two bacon sandwiches please?" she asks hopefully.

We have just finished breakfast, and I am getting ready to go to work, I am a little concerned about Alex he has been so distant the past few weeks so quiet and withdrawn, at breakfast he didn't say a word, I try and dismiss the anxiety I am feeling telling myself I am overreacting and he is just displaying normal moody teenager behaviour.

He wanders in and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge. I hug him tightly and kiss his cheek.

He jumps violently and pushes me roughly away, "Mom!" he complains "What the hell are you doing?!"

I am a little shocked at the reaction, "I'm sorry" I stammer "I didn't mean to embarrass you".

I watch as he relaxes and sighs, "No I'm sorry mom, you just took me by surprise that's all" he smiles at me and plants a swift kiss on my cheek, "laters!" he shouts as he leaves the room.

I shake my head and smile. We have arranged to meet Harry and Phoebe at the hospital. I am about to leave when Isobel comes charging towards me looking murderous.

"Isobel shouldn't you be on your way to school?" I ask trying to ignore the fact she is losing control of her temper.

"Never mind school, when were you going to tell me what that fucking scumbag did to Ava?" she snarls.

"Isobel, it is none of your business who told you? And watch your mouth" I say sharply.

"Ava did, she phoned me because she wants me to teach her self-defence" her eyes are flashing dangerously.

"Isobel calm down, please," I say, "the best way you can help is not by going on a rampage, but support Ava, and just do as she has asked, she has the trial coming up she will need all the support she can get."

"Trial!" she splutters "that piece of shit is denying he did anything".

Christian comes up behind Isobel and rests his hands on her shoulders, "Isobel calm down, your mother is right, we need to do this the correct way, or he will walk and another young girl may not be as lucky as Ava has been."

Isobel spins around, "Lucky, he felt her up and made her touch him, he had his hands all over her, how can that be considered lucky?"

"Because he didn't rape her" Christian snaps.

Isobel stops, "Well no, but he shouldn't have done anything, the sick bastard."

Christian pulls her into his arms, "I feel exactly the same way as you do, and Uncle Elliot and Aunt Kate do as well you can trust me on that fact, but he has to be convicted in a court of law and justice has to be done, that way he can't get away because if he does the next young girl he assaults may have a worse outcome and this way he will have to register on the sex offenders register."

Isobel nods, "Ok, but I still want to castrate the bastard."

Christian smiles, "Maybe so, but it's time for you to go to school now," he says quietly.

Isobel sighs and I can see she is still wound up as she stands on tiptoe and reaches up and kisses Christians cheek, "Bye dad, see you later" she says with a clipped tone, then she turns and plants a small kiss on my cheek "bye mom" she says and disappears out of the door.

We watch her go, "God help anyone who hurts her children when she has them" Christian murmurs.

Mid-morning we are sitting in the hospital waiting room, Phoebe appears with Harry at her side, holding her hand, Christian stands and gestures to his seat as there isn't another one free, Phoebe sits down but suddenly she looks up at Harry, he responds and is beside her in a second.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She shakes her head and reaches for his hand, and places it on the small bump, "can you feel that?" she whispers.

Harry frowns, "no," he says with disappointment.

"It feels like a butterfly fluttering around in my stomach," she says smiling at him.

I smile at her, "Give it a couple of months and it will feel like an elephant stomping around".

"Phoebe Grey" A voice calls and we look up and see Dr Green and she looks surprised to see so many people waiting.

"Dr Green, this is Harry Weston he is my fiancé it's ok if he comes in with us isn't it?"

"Of course, the more the merrier," She says smiling.

"So are you the baby's father?" she enquires politely.

Harry shakes his head, "Not the biological father but I am the baby's dad" he says proudly.

Phoebe's examination is quickly done and all the necessary checks are done, everything appears to be progressing well and then we go into the ultrasound room and Phoebe climbs up on the bed and Harry sits beside her, his eyes fixed on her bump.

"Dr Green we are hoping to find out the sex of the baby today, would that be possible?" Phoebe asks.

Dr Green looks at her notes, "Hmm should be, as you are 20 weeks so as long as baby cooperates I should be able to see."

She runs the ultrasound over Phoebes tiny bump, and Harry lifts his gaze from the bump to the screen and watches intently, his face lights up as the small figure appears on the screen, he grasps Phoebe's hand tightly and stares transfixed at the small moving figure, the baby turns suddenly and Dr Green freezes the screen, and points "I would say that was conclusive evidence that, that is a little boy" she says smiling.

Harry turns to Christian, "your first grandson" he says with a smile, and Christian responds by placing his hand on Harry's shoulder and squeezing.

I stare at Christian and see the tears in his eyes.

As we leave Taylor is outside waiting to take Christian back to work, and Harry lets go of Phoebe's hand and runs to him clutching the small scan picture. "Jason it's a boy, I am going to have a son" he says proudly. Taylor smiles and embraces Harry while staring at the picture. Harry pulls out his phone and takes a quick photograph of the scan picture and sends it to Gail with the words it's a boy.

I climb into the back of the SUV with Christian as Phoebe and Harry walk towards Ryan who is waiting for them. As we are heading back to work, Christians phone rings he delves into his pocket and answers I watch as he suddenly sits bolt upright.

"You are kidding!" he exclaims, "Where's Ava and Zoe? Ok keep me posted".

He pushes his phone back in his pocket and looks grim, I touch his hand. "Christian, what's happened?" I ask.

"That was Elliot, Simpson made bail, don't ask me how but he has done."

"Where are the girls are they safe?" I ask panicking.

"Ava has enrolled at the same college as Phoebe and Zoe is at school – the same one as Izzy and Alex" Christian looks down at the phone in his hand and then makes a call.

"Ryan, make sure you keep alert, Geoff Simpson has been bailed, please keep Phoebe safe and if you could locate Ava Grey and keep her under surveillance as well I'd be grateful... that's right, thanks."

He hangs up and makes another call, "Wiseman, quick heads up, Geoff Simpson has made bail, keep a close watch on Alex, Zoe and Isobel, especially Isobel because if she lays eyes on Simpson it won't be pretty" he hangs up and rubs his forehead.

As Taylor pulls up outside work I turn to Christian and kiss him, I stare at him and he smiles at me and runs his fingers down my face.

"God I love you so much," he says quietly and then he grasps my head and pulls me towards him and kisses me soundly.

I gasp as he pulls away from me, "I love you too but I have to get back to work" I smile and place my hand on his heart, he takes a sharp breath in and then lifts my hand and kisses it gently.

"Go on then get back to work" he orders.

Taylor opens my door and I climb out "Thanks, Taylor" I say and head inside.

The rest of the day passes quickly. When I arrive home I see Elliot's car parked on the drive and as I walk into the lounge I see a self-defence class in progress, Izzy is teaching Ava and Zoe some basic moves, while Elliot sits watching with a smile on his face. He turns and smiles at me.

"Hi, Elliot," I say "Are you staying for dinner?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "I am taking my daughters and ex-wife out for dinner tonight" he says, and I see the hopeful look on his face and in his tone of voice and I pat his shoulder.

"Well, take it steady, Kate is vulnerable at the moment, she feels she has been used, don't make that worse by making her think you are taking advantage of the situation to get back with her."

He shakes his head, "No, I just want to help her get over it" he says, "I know I lost Kate a long while ago, through my own stupidity, I have to live with that, but I just want to be there for her now".

I smile and touch his hand "good for you" I say.

"Thanks, Ana," he says and pulls me into a hug.

"Hello, what's going on here then!" we look up and see Christian with an amused look on his face, and he is staring at Elliot with his eyebrows raised. Elliot pulls away from me and laughs.

"Don't get jealous little bro!" he taunts.

"I'm not, I trust my wife completely, but it's you I don't trust" he counters with a grin.

Isobel launches herself at Christian, "Hi dad" she says and plants a kiss on his cheek.

"Hi baby girl," he says "What are you doing?" he asks looking down smiling indulgently at her.

"I'm teaching Ava and Zoe self-defence in case that asshole comes anywhere near again.

Christian nods approvingly. Elliot rises to his feet, "Well I think that's all for tonight girls, time to go" he says.

Ava looks unhappy about leaving, "Can I stay here dad, please, I am just starting to get the hang of this?" Elliot looks at Christian who shrugs.

"Fine by me," he says.

"Zoe, what about you?" Elliot asks.

Zoe shrugs, "I'll come with you," she says.

Zoe hasn't suffered at the hands of Simpson, so she isn't as bothered about the self-defence training as Ava and it shows. As Elliot and Zoe leave, Ava is determinedly trying to throw Izzy.

After dinner, Izzy and Ava head out to the meadow, the cool chill of autumn is in the air, but it's still light and surprisingly sunny. Christian and I settle on the sofa with a glass of wine. We are disturbed by Taylor and Sawyer who come bursting in, Christian looks up frowning.

"Excuse me Sir, but Geoff Simpson is on the premises, we have spotted him on the security feed.

"The girls," I say and Christian leaps to his feet and we head out to the meadow, as we approach we see three figures, one cowering in the grass and sobbing, and the other two locked in combat, as we move closer we see Isobel her eyes fixed and determined, her face grim as she methodically beats the crap out of Simpson, every time he tries to retaliate, she blocks him, Taylor and Sawyer charge towards them and start circling around them but neither of them is willing to intervene, as Izzy is handling the situation well. I am standing with Christian, who has crouched beside Ava and is comforting the sobbing girl, and rocking her gently.

Suddenly there is an agonised scream and a sickening snapping sound, we all turn to see Simpson is on the floor, his arm clearly broken, but Isobel is relentless, she refuses to stop.

"Get her the fuck off me" Simpson pleads.

Taylor eventually moves forward and pulls Isobel off, "Come on Izzy that's enough," he says quietly to her.

She stops, and Sawyer bends and pulls Simpson roughly to his feet, he straightens up and as he does so, Izzy turns and gives him one final swift hard kick in the groin, I watch Sawyer, Taylor and Christian all wince as she does it and Simpson sinks to his knees groaning in pain.

Izzy shakes free of Taylor and moves towards Ava, she pulls her towards her, "Ava, you need to take back control, don't let him make you a victim any longer, he can't hurt you again, let him know what he did to you, and make him feel as bad as he made you feel."

Ava is trembling as she steps towards Simpson who is still cowering on the ground. She looks at him with contempt.

"Look at you, you are scum" she spits. "Don't you ever come near me again, I hate you, you made me touch you, and you touched me, you hurt me" she stops tears pouring down her cheeks. "You will never ever touch me again" she screams.

Izzy wraps her arm around her cousin and pulls her close but she is still glaring menacingly at Simpson. Taylor pulls him to his feet and he groans in pain, he looks a complete mess, he is limping, his arm is obviously broken, and his face is battered and bloody.

The police arrive and take statements, Simpson has clearly violated his bail conditions, and as he is led away, Ava shouts "Rot in hell you bastard".

Elliot and Kate arrive as Simpson is being bundled into the car, they stare at the battered and bloody man, and Kate runs to Ava.

"Ava, are you alright?" she gasps.

Ava nods and tells them the events of the evening, and they stare at Izzy in disbelief.

"You put him that state?" Elliot says.

Isobel nods and shrugs. Elliot looks at Christian "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" he says with a smile. I look at Christian and realise Elliot is referring to Christians brawling teen years.

Ava hugs Isobel tightly, "Thank you," she says, and then she looks up at her cousin and continues "Will you teach me to fight like that?"

Isobel nods "Sure," she says nonchalantly.

As we all walk to the house, I turn to Christian, "How did he know Ava was here?" I ask.

Isobel shakes her head, "he wasn't looking for Ava, he was looking for Pheebs, but when he saw Ava he decided to approach us because he knew he could frighten her because of what he's done to her... but he didn't factor in that I was there to protect her". She glances at Ava who is now tucked between Elliot and Kate, and smiles.

I look at Christian with concern; if he was after Phoebe then we still have the shadow of the Simpson family hanging over us.

Elliot, Kate and Ava leave and we head inside, Phoebe and Harry are waiting for us, "What's going on?" Phoebe asks.

We sit down and tell her what has happened; Harry grips Phoebe's hand tightly.

"Don't worry Phoebe, he won't be let out on bail again after this," I say.

She nods and as she stands to leave, Isobel stands and grabs her arm, "It's ok sis, I won't let him come near you or the baby" she says.

Harry wraps his arm around Phoebe, "and neither will I," he says.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

A week later I awaken with Christian gently kissing my ear and neck. I open my eyes and stretch and roll towards him. He smiles at me.

"Good morning and happy birthday Mrs Grey," he says, and then in one swift move, he is on top of me.

An hour later I am lying in his arms sated and calm, and he is running his fingers rhythmically up and down my arm.

I look up at him "It's been a while since you woke me up like that" I say wistfully.

"I know" he replies with almost a hint of regret, "we should do it more often like we used to," he adds, gently kissing my neck once more.

I glance at the clock and panic fills me, "Shit Christian it's 8:45 we are going to be late for work" I try to push him off and get out of bed, and he holds me down refusing to let me move.

"Relax baby, I have arranged everything, we are not going to work today, Hannah has everything under control for you and Andrea and Ros are handling everything for me, today you are my priority and I am going to spend the day spoiling you."

I relax in his arms, "I really like the sound of this," I murmur.

"Ok then, I have everything planned the whole day has been taken care of and you just need to go with the flow and enjoy every moment of it," he says grinning at me.

I smile back and nod, "Ok, so what's first on the agenda?" I ask.

Christian thrusts his hips suggestively, "First on the agenda is this, I am going to make love to you again, then we are going to shower, then we are going to have some breakfast and then..." he waves his hand dismissively in the air "We will go with the flow" I look at him and realise that whatever he has planned which he is not going to tell me.

I grin at him and he grabs me and rolls us over so I am on top of him straddling him, "Well ok then" I say, "Shall we start with item one on the agenda!?"

"Oh yes" he replies.

Later we are eating breakfast and Harry walks in, I look up at him in surprise and he looks uncomfortable when he sees me. "Harry I thought you were going back to Harvard today?" I ask.

"I am, later" he replies, he glances at Christian, "Happy Birthday Mrs Grey," he says.

I smile at him "Thank you Harry" I say.

After breakfast Christian gives me a small box and I know exactly what it is, every birthday he gives me a new charm for the bracelet he bought me on the first birthday we were married, I open the box and gasp when I see the charm, it is a tiny new moon, I look at it and look questioningly at Christian.

He shrugs, "Well it's getting harder every year to find a new first, so this year I am going with how I feel about you instead as after all these years together I still love you to the moon and back."

I feel tears welling in my eyes and I fling my arms around him. He holds me tightly and buries his nose in my hair.

"So what are we going to do now, seeing as we have this day totally to ourselves?" I ask.

"You'll see," he says evasively, then he quickly stands and pulls me upstairs, he opens the closet door and hanging up is a clothes bag. "Open it" he whispers to me.

I open the bag and find a beautiful sundress" I frown and turn to him "Christian it's September" I say.

"I know but the place we are flying to today is going to be warm enough for you to wear that, so be a good girl and get dressed," he winks at me and slaps my ass playfully.

Feeling excited I quickly dress and pull on the shoes he hands me to go with it. I am just brushing my hair when he comes in and he glances at his watch, "ready?" he asks.

I nod and he holds his hand out to me, I take it and he leads me downstairs and to his R8, he opens the door for me and I climb in. Climbing into the driver's seat he buckles in and starts the engine. In moments we are roaring off down the driveway.

We arrive at Sea-Tac and he drives on to the tarmac where Ryan is waiting to collect the R8. I see the GEH jet waiting, and I quickly climb up the steps. I am greeted by Stephan and Beighley who both wish me a happy birthday and I make my way in and sit down; Natalia comes over and offers me a drink.

"Thank you," I say smiling at her as she places a mug of tea in front of me.

Christian joins me and takes the seat next to me. He reaches over and clasps my hand and kisses my knuckles.

"Just you and me" he whispers.

His phone buzzes and he frowns he pulls it out and quickly answers it.

He listens carefully and smiles, "yes" he says, he quickly glances at me "yes... excellent ok then thanks, bye" he hangs up and I watch him switch off his phone, my mouth drops open, he has never ever done this before, even on our honeymoon he had his phone constantly on, the only time he switches his phone off is when we are doing school-related functions and then it is only for a short amount of time".

I notice we are now moving "Where are you taking me?" I ask intrigued.

He smiles and says nothing, when we can move about; he stands and leads me into the bedroom at the back of the plane.

A while later I am awakened from my post-coital induced sleep, "Come on baby wake up" Christian is gently rousing me, "We are here".

I lift myself up and stretch, I take Christians outstretched hand and rise to my feet, he hands me my shoes and resting my hand on his arm to steady myself I sip them on.

"Ready?" he asks.

I nod enthusiastically, "Yes" I whisper.

He smiles "Come," he says gently pulling me by the hand.

"I have done, numerous times," I say with a grin.

His head snaps around and his eyebrows are raised but his amusement is obvious, "So crude Mrs Grey, I do believe you are making my palm twitch," he says with mock sternness, but I just laugh.

He gestures me to go through the door, and as I walk past him he slaps my behind, hard.

We buckle up and the plane lands smoothly. I am still clueless as to where we are, but it can't be too far away as we haven't been flying for that long.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"California" he replies and plants a small kiss on my lips. He leads me from the plane and I see Taylor waiting beside a hire car, he opens the door and I climb in, Christian follows and grasps my hand. We are driving along a coast road and the view out of the window is breathtaking.

We eventually arrive at our destination, it is a beautiful little house almost on the beach, I gasp as we walk inside as it is simple and understated.

"It's lovely," I say.

He leads me into the bedroom and I see two small suitcases, he has arranged everything.

I sit on the bed, "Well now you have me here, what are you going to do with me?" I run my fingers along the edge of the bed.

He smiles at me, "whatever you want to do, we are just going to chill out and enjoy each other's company and shut the rest of the world out for the day.

We spend a lovely day together, and I can't believe in all the years we have been together that we have never ever done this before, where it is literally just us. His phone is off so no work interruptions and no children although they are hardly children now, it's just me and my man and I am revelling in every moment it.

That evening he leads me out to the car, "we are going out for dinner" he says, smiling at me.

I nod and follow him he has given me a wonderful day and at this moment I will willingly follow him anywhere. We pull up outside an exclusive looking little restaurant, and Taylor whispers something to Christian and he nods. As he leads me inside, my mouth drops open, he has booked the whole restaurant just for us, as there are no other diners. I look around wondering how much he has paid to do this.

The manager leads us to a candlelit table and gives Christian the wine list.

"Served by the manager, you do know how to spoil a girl" I whisper.

After a delicious meal I sit back, and see Christian signal to someone, I look surprised as a door opens and out walks Phoebe, Harry, Theo, Isobel and Alex. Phoebe is carrying a huge cake, and they are all singing happy birthday. I jump to my feet and as Phoebe places the cake on the table. I open my arms and embrace everyone in one giant hug.

"Hi guys" I squeal delighted to see my children, today has been lovely just myself and Christian but deep down I have missed not having my children around me. Christian must have realised that this would be the case and arranged for them to join us tonight, because he knows me so well.

I look at Isobel and Alex suspiciously "Would tonight have something to do with the argument I walked in on last week?" I ask.

Alex smiles and nods, I shake my head.

Theo steps forward "happy birthday mom," he says and kisses my cheek, he places a small box in my hand, I open it and gasp, inside is an exquisitely beautiful pair of earrings, Gold studs in the shape of a rose with tiny red rubies in the centre. "Thank you, Theo, they are beautiful," I say and kiss his cheek.

Phoebe walks forward and hands me another box, "This is from me and Harry, happy birthday!" she says I open it and inside is a matching bracelet to go with the earrings finally Isobel and Alex step forward, Isobel grins "this is what we were arguing about, we clubbed together our allowance money and got you this and I thought Alex had lost it, because we couldn't find it."

"But I hadn't" he puts in quickly.

I smile, "Well thank you both," I say and open it and it is a matching necklace. I am overwhelmed my family have all worked and schemed together and made my birthday perfect.

"There is just one more thing," Christian says reaching into his inside pocket, he hands me a large envelope I take it frowning at him.

He just responds with a wide grin, "happy birthday baby" he whispers in my ear.

I open it and find the deeds to the beach cottage we have spent the day at and I gasp in shock.

"You are now the owner of our very own get away from it all cottage, and we will come here whenever you want to" he says with an emphatic swipe of his hand.

My mouth drops open as I stare at the deeds, in my name, I am speechless.

"You can renovate and decorate it as you want to" he continues and grasps my hand.

He is looking for my reaction, I feel his anxiety he is worried about this, that is confirmed for my by what he says next.

"Do you like it baby?" he asks.

I nod and wrap my arms around him, even after all these years my husband never ceases to amaze me.

"Thank you I love it but I really don't know what to say" I mutter eventually, "I grasp his hand tightly and whisper "I love you" to him.

As the evening draws to a close I kiss my children goodnight as they are all staying at a nearby hotel, and we return to the beach house.

I look around not quite believing that this is all mine, Christian comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. "Happy baby?" he asks.

I turn to face him and wrap my arms around him, "Always" I whisper. "Thank you for the best birthday ever" I whisper, "I have loved having you totally to myself with no distractions at all".

"So have I, we will have to do it more often," he covers my mouth with his and pulls me tightly to him, and we sink down on to the bed and into each other.

**oooOOOooo**

I am sitting at my desk at work I have come back to reality with a bump after a wonderful two days at our cottage on the beach. My mind keeps drifting to our little beach cottage and the fact it was just me and Christian and nobody and nothing to disturb us, I sigh and return to the matter in hand, I am working on a couple of manuscripts when my phone rings.

"Ana Grey," I say lazily down the line.

"Mom it's me" Phoebe's voice comes down the line to me, she sounds anxious.

"Phoebe, what's wrong?" I ask immediately on alert.

"Mom, Izzy has phoned me asking my advice about something and she thinks you should know about it and I'm not sure, but you should know, but if you tell dad..." she finally pauses for breath and I quickly interrupt her.

"Phoebe stop, take a breath," I say firmly "You are rambling, calm down and talk slowly."

I hear a sigh, "I can't talk about it over the phone, can I meet you for lunch? I'll bring Izzy with me" she says in a calmer tone.

"Ok," I say, "about 12ish?" I add.

"Yes, thank you," Phoebe says the relief in her voice evident.

At 12 o clock, Hannah pokes her head around my door, "Phoebe and Isobel are here to see you" I glance at the clock and smile.

"Thank you, Hannah," I say "I am taking my daughters out to lunch" I add as I stand and grab my purse.

I walk into reception and they both stand, I walk towards them and kiss them both on the cheek and we make our way out to a small deli, we grab a table and order.

When our food arrives I sigh and look at them "Ok then what's going on?" I ask them both and Phoebe looks at Izzy.

Izzy fidgets with her fork and then looks at me, "Alex..." she stops almost as if she is debating something before she continues "appears to have a... erm... girlfriend".

The way she says girlfriend sets me on edge as though as if it's a dirty disgusting thing.

I can't understand this overreaction so I smile and look at her kindly "and that isn't any business of yours" I say, I am also slightly irritated, by the way, Phoebe had been so agitated I assumed something terrible had happened.

Isobel shakes her head and glances at Phoebe, and much to my surprise Phoebe looks worried she leans towards me and takes my hand.

"Mom it's not as simple as that" she says, she still looks anxious, they are not telling me something, there is more to this than they are telling me.

I look from Phoebe to Izzy and back again.

Isobel sighs "It's his English teacher," she whispers eventually.

I go cold, "What?" I say.

"It's his English teacher – Miss Hailes," Isobel says, "I saw them, in the locker room they thought nobody was there, she was sitting on his lap and they were..." she stops and closes her eyes and shakes her head, and to my horror a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Oh my god" I whisper, I feel the room spinning, a 15-year-old boy being seduced by an older woman, it's like déjà-vous and I feel sick and I grasp the table.

"Are you ok mom?" Phoebe asks with concern.

I nod, but I feel anything but ok. My mind is racing, Christian has to know, but the question is how far he is going to overreact when I tell him. Isobel looks at me, more tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry mom, I was as shocked as you," all my instincts told me to go in there and pull her off him, but I realised that wouldn't be the best idea."

I smile at her, "You have nothing to be sorry about Izzy" I say, "and you have done the right thing by telling me".

I pull out my phone, "What are you doing?" Isobel and Phoebe ask in unison.

"I'm phoning your father," I say ignoring the panicked looks on their faces.

"Ana" Christian purrs as he answers the phone.

"Christian, we have a problem, a huge one," I say "Can you meet me at my office in say... 30 minutes?" I say briskly as I glance at my watch.

"Sure baby, what's wrong?" he asks the concern evident in his voice.

"Trust me this is not something I want to discuss with you on the phone," I say.

"Ok baby I'm on my way," he says and hangs up.

I look at the girls "He's on his way, come on let's get back to my office" we stand and walk in silence back to Grey Publishing.

We are all sitting in my office as Christian arrives and bursts through the door; he stops when he sees his daughters sitting here, and his eyes widen in surprise and he quickly closes the door behind him.

"Sit down Christian," I say firmly.

He looks at me and takes a seat beside Phoebe, he leans over and kisses her cheek and then reaches towards Isobel and kisses her.

"What's going on Ana?" he asks.

I pause, and then I look helplessly at my daughters. Isobel sighs in a resigned way as she turns to her father grasping his hand, then she closes her eyes, "I saw Alex's English teacher and Alex fucking," she says quickly and bluntly.

Christian freezes "What?" he gasps, all colour draining from his face. He looks from Isobel to Phoebe and from Phoebe to me.

Phoebe grasps Christians other hand, "Izzy called me after she had seen them at school as she was so upset about it, so I called mom and we came over together to tell her" she shakes her head, "I can't believe he could be so stupid," she adds.

Christian stiffens and a determined look appears on his face, "Ok" he says. He looks at his watch, "Isobel you need to get back to school and you need to go back to college Phoebe, Isobel, do not say anything to Alex, don't let him know we know" he says.

Izzy nods and stands "Ok dad" I can see the relief on both our daughters faces at the lack of thermonuclear meltdown on Christian's part. Phoebe looks a little astonished at Christians reaction and quite frankly I am more than a little surprised to say the very least.

"Taylor will take you both, he is just outside" Christian adds and as he watches them go to leave he grasps Isobel's arm, "Izzy are you ok?" he asks.

She stops, her face crumples and tears roll down her cheeks and she shakes her head violently, we have never seen her so distressed, and Christian, pulls her to him gently rocking her and she clings to him and just sobs.

"It was horrible daddy; it was disgusting and just awful. I saw and heard everything, the worst bit is Alex didn't want to be there and he didn't want to do it, but having said that he appears to have some feelings for her, so I think he's confused," she blurts out and then stops.

I see Christian's demeanour change instantly and Isobel feels it and holds him tightly.

"Come on Izzy, time to get back to school, but will you be ok to do so? Do you think you can manage to get through the rest of the day?" he asks gently as he holds her by the shoulders and looks into her face.

I watch as she takes a big sniff and nods her head, "yeah I'll be fine" she says and she even manages to give Christian a smile.

Christian hugs her once more and then she turns and leaves. We watch them leave and Christian closes the door then he turns to me. I raise my eyebrows.

"How would you feel if it was your son, Christian?" I say speaking the words I had spoken to him so long ago which had popped into my head as soon as I had been told what was going on, when he had been trying to excuse his relationship with Elena.

He closes his eyes and shakes his head, "Don't Ana," he says stiffly, and he sounds crushed. He drops on to the seat; I stand and walk around the table to him. "What can I do, what can I say to him without sounding a complete hypocrite?" he says helplessly.

I pull him to his feet, and shake my head, "No Christian you are not a hypocrite you are in the perfect place to talk to him because you have been there, you were exactly where he is right now, you fell in love with an older woman who took advantage of you." I say earnestly.

His eyes flash dangerously, "I was not in love with her, the only woman I have ever loved is you," he spits.

I sigh "That's just semantics Christian, you admitted yourself that you thought you loved her at that time, and that you would have done anything for her and you thought she was good for you at the time, so you will know exactly how he feels, you heard what Izzy said, he is confused, he has feelings for her but he also knows it's wrong," I say.

"Well he has more sense than I had then, it took me years to realise what I was doing was wrong," Christian says bitterly.

I can't help it I roll my eyes and then glare at him, "Christian you need to tell him what happened to you, confide in him and let him confide in you" I say.

"I am not discussing my fucked up relationship with Elena with my son," he snarls.

I sigh in frustration, "You don't have to, you don't need to tell him everything in detail, you just tell him you know how he feels because you had a relationship with an older woman at his age".

Christian looks at me, "Shit" he says, "I have finally realised now how wrong our relationship was, I have known for years it wasn't right ever since we had the children, and that night when we confronted her about it before she died put it right in my mind but this makes me think even deeper about it," he lowers his head, "She took advantage of me didn't she?" he whispers.

"Yes baby she did, but she has been dead for years, and this is not about your relationship with her it's about Alex and this teacher and right now we have to help our son," I say pulling his head up to look at me.

Christian nods and grasps hold of me as if I am a life raft.

**oooOOOooo**

Later we are sitting at home waiting for Alex to arrive, when I think about it I have noticed a change in him it has happened so gradually so I didn't really notice, until now I think about, he takes far more care with his appearance and grooming, he spends longer on his phone texting, all the signs were there, he has been distant and withdrawn, I had a feeling that it was possible he had a girlfriend, but never in a million years did I anticipate anything like this, all the signs were there but I ignored them, I remember Grace's words and how guilt ridden she was about ignoring the signs.

The door opens, "Hi mom" Alex says airily then he pauses as he glances in surprise at Christian, "Hi dad, you're home early!" he says with a smile and I look at Christian.

"Alex darling, come and sit down a moment," I say.

Alex stops and looks at us both, "Sure, what's up?" he asks as he takes a seat on the sofa next to Christian.

"A little bird tells me you have an... erm... girlfriend" Christian says putting his arm around Alex. Alex freezes, with panic written all over his face.

"Who told you that?!" he asks defensively.

"It doesn't matter who told me, Alex, is it true?" Christian says a clear bite in his tone.

Alex looks down at his fingers, "You wouldn't understand," he says quietly.

"Try me," Christian says gently.

Alex shakes his head, "I'm not doing anything wrong," he says defensively.

I lean forward and grasp his hand, "No sweetheart you're not, but she is, because you are 15 years old, you are a minor, how old is she, apart from old enough to know better?" I say.

"Listen, Alex, I understand far more than you could ever imagine," Christian says carefully.

Alex looks at him incredulously "I don't think so dad, mom is younger than you" he says.

Christian nods, "yes she is, I met your mother when I was 27 and she was 21, we were both consenting adults, but before I met your mother... I..." he pauses and looks at me then he takes a deep breath and swallows deeply.

"I had a relationship with an older woman, I thought I loved her, I thought she helped me and understood me but the truth is she abused me Alex, she abused me for years. I was your age when it started and I was 21 when it ended. So I _do_ understand your situation, more than you could possibly imagine and I can categorically tell you that this woman is taking advantage of you". Christian stops.

I am shocked he has said so much, but my shock is nowhere near as great as Alex's he is sitting open mouthed staring at Christian in silence. He recovers eventually "But she says she loves me" he moans, confusion written on his face.

I sigh with frustration, and lean forward and grasp his hand "Alex, if all this came out, she would get fired from her job and probably end up in prison, has she told you not to tell anyone? Has she ever been affectionate towards you in public or is it always been behind closed doors in secret? Does she dominate you Alex? Does she get you to do what she wants?" I stop as a feeling of nausea rises in my throat.

Alex looks up at me his face bleak and nods, "She has done all of those things".

"She is using you, son," Christian says gently and it's illegal, you have to report her".

Alex shakes his head, "I love her dad" he says tears in his eyes.

Christian swallows deeply "I know son, I've been there, but she doesn't love you."

"Has she ever forced you into doing anything you didn't want to do?" I ask quietly as I remember what Izzy had said earlier.

Alex shakes his head, then pauses, "The first time she touched me was a bit of a shock, we were in the classroom just the two of us, she was helping me with something, she put her arm around the back of the chair, and leaned towards me, then she slid her other hand on my lap, and..." he pauses and glances at me, too embarrassed to continue.

"Do you want me to go Alex so you can talk to your father in private?" I ask.

He nods and Christian stands, "Come on Alex, we will go into my office and talk," he says and with that he leads our son away. I watch them go then god help me I follow and listen at the door.

"You were saying," I hear Christians disembodied voice coming through the door.

"She leaned towards me and touched me here, then she opened my fly and slipped her hand inside" Alex replies his voice trembling.

"Did you at any point ever say no or stop?" Christian asks.

"Yes, I did, several times but she carried on and then I started to enjoy it, it felt nice, she made me come dad, she made me enjoy it and then she kissed me and told me it was our little secret," there is a pause and I can visualise Christian hugging Alex.

I hear Alex's trembling voice again coming through the door "Every time we were together that is what happened, until one day, she took me to a store cupboard, we went inside and she locked the door, then she told me she was going to turn me into a man, she undressed me and herself and she put a condom on me and she... we have been doing it ever since then, she told me when I leave school we will be together, she said she loved me and she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me, but she acts differently the rest of the time, she ignores me when I see her when everyone else is around, and she is nasty to me in lessons, she picks on me, but then she tells me she is sorry and doesn't mean it when we are alone. I'm so confused, I love her dad, but talking like this and telling you everything that has happened, it does feel kind of wrong and seedy."

Tears are pouring down my cheeks and I want to kill this woman who has put her filthy hands on my son, I know exactly how Grace felt now when she found out about Christian and Elena. Isobel comes up beside me and puts her arm around me.

"Dad took it very well," she says quietly.

I nod, "he did," I say simply.

"Are they talking?" she asks and puts her ear to the door.

I pull her away, "come on let's leave them to talk."

I look at Isobel, I am seeing her differently now after today, "you know Izzy I have never fully understood the extent of your passion and violence when anyone hurts us, but I think I do now, at this moment I want to kill that woman" I say quietly.

Isobel wraps her arms around me "I did too mom when I saw them, Alex was totally dominated by her it wasn't an equal display of love, she was... it was horrible" she says closing her eyes. "I wanted to storm in there and pull her off him and rip her limb from limb".

After what seems like ages Christian and Alex appear Alex is pale and trembling and his eyes are red and Christian has his arm around him.

Alex looks up at Isobel, and she embraces him tightly, "I'm sorry Alex, it was me who told them, I saw you both in the locker room, be thankful it was me who saw you in there, but I had to say something, what she was doing, it was wrong."

Alex nods sadly.

"What happens now?" Isobel looks up at Christian.

"I will make her stop," he says grimly.


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25

We are waiting to go to the school and my heart is pounding out of my chest with anxiety. Christian is on the phone to Welch who is emailing through everything he has found on Miss Hailes, aka Mrs Hailes, aka Mrs Hales. It seems as though she has a track record, she has been moving from state to state, and preying on young boys for a considerable time. If the boys have blown the whistle she has turned everything around on to them and with the lack of evidence available it has been hushed up and she has moved on.

Christian is determined that this isn't going to happen in this case and he has got Welch to send him everything so we are fully prepared for this visit. We have our plan of action, we are going in to complain about her bullying and picking on Alex in the classroom, and then we are going to hit her with the rest when we are there, we have all the evidence we need to confront her with her past and we don't want to give her a heads up and chance to be prepared.

Alex looks petrified and Christian is looking determined there is a strange controlled calm about him, which is worrying me and Isobel is looking as though she ready to go into battle. She had spent most of the morning arguing with Christian because she wanted to come to the meeting and have her say. Christian had said no until Izzy had practically dragged him into his office and said or done something, and they had come out with Christian looking pale and agreeing Isobel will participate on the condition she will not lay a finger on Miss Hailes. Isobel has reluctantly agreed to the conditions. She too can see her father means business and she doesn't want to do anything which will jeopardise the case against her by allowing her to press any counter charges for assault. I have no idea what made Christian completely u-turn on letting Isobel have her say but whatever it was, it concerns me.

Christian called the school and had spoken to the principal, and was granted a meeting near enough straight away. After driving to the school in silence, we are waiting outside the Principals office, everyone seems to be falling over themselves to be helpful and accommodating, a secretary has been to us, wringing her hands offering us drinks. Christian has shut down into Mr cool and collected he is a vision of self-control and impassiveness. As I watch him he is staring at his phone and frowning.

"What's wrong?" I ask quietly unable to stand the silence any longer.

"Welch has sent more information about Miss Hailes" he spits.

Just at that moment the Principal's door opens he comes out looking nervous, he plasters a huge smile on his face, and offers Christian his hand, "Mr & Mrs Grey, please come in" he says.

Alex looks as though he is going to faint, and Christian wraps his arm around his son and gently squeezes offering him silent reassurance as he leads him into the room, and once inside he whispers something in his ear, Alex looks up and smiles weakly at Christian and then nods. We all sit down, and the Principal leans on the table his hands clasped.

"What seems to be the problem," he asks politely.

Christian sits in his chair looking relaxed, he has his legs crossed and his foot resting on his knee, he is leaning back with his arm casually draped over the back of Alex's chair. But I know differently his eyes are the colour of a stormy sky, and his free hand is fisted on his lap, I know he is radiating controlled anger whilst looking to the casual observer as nonchalant and relaxed. As the Principal speaks, Christian moves slightly, leaning forward and clasps his hands in front of him.

He stares directly at the Principal, "Shouldn't Miss Hailes be here to listen to the accusations being put to her?" he asks politely but in a sharp clipped tone.

The principal shuffles uncomfortably, "Miss Hailes will be with us shortly" he has hardly got the words out of his mouth when there is a sharp rap at the door.

"Come in" The Principal calls.

The door opens and Miss Hailes breezes in confidently clutching a large folder, she is a petite young woman I put her at about 28 years of age, she has blonde hair flowing around her slim shoulder and is dressed in a slightly too tight top which highlights her ample bosom.

"Mr Grey, Mrs Grey," she says, and she is staring at Christian in a way that is almost indecent, and she makes it clear by the look she is giving him that she is not just into young boys.

Christian nods but doesn't say a word, she sits down lifting her skirt slightly to show her thighs and she crosses her legs. I shake my head in disgust, this woman is a complete slut; she is throwing herself at Christian. He is looking impassively at her and with exaggerated disinterest turns to the Principal, but as he goes to open his mouth, she butts in.

"So, we are here to discuss Alex's attainment in his English lessons," she says briskly, opening her folder, "Alex has been having a few problems concentrating in class and I have had to mention it a few times to him."

She smiles at Alex who turns his gaze to the ground, a hurt and confused expression on his face. Christian leans forward and fixing her with an icy stare he responds.

"Perhaps the reason he has been distracted in lessons is probably because his teacher has been sexually abusing him" he spits.

The atmosphere in the room plummets immediately. The principal's jaw drops open and Miss Hailes goes bright red, but she doesn't say a word.

"Mr Grey, these are very serious allegations" the Principal splutters eventually when he has pulled himself together.

Christian's head swivels back to the Principal who visibly shrinks under his gaze. "Indeed they are serious, my son has been the victim of this woman's unwanted attention for a number of weeks now and things came to an impasse yesterday when she was seen in the locker room having sexual intercourse with him by my daughter who immediately brought the matter to our attention. My son has told us exactly what has happened and how this woman has groomed him, taking him aside for private tuition, and gradually becoming more and more inappropriate".

The Principal stares at Alex, "Can you tell us what has happened Alex?" he asks gently.

Christian grabs Alex's hand and squeezes, I reach out and grab his other hand, Alex takes a deep breath and then he closes his eyes and starts talking, he sings like the proverbial canary, telling every last dirty detail. When he has finished he opens his eyes and tears are rolling down his cheeks, I can't stand to see my son in such pain and I crouch down in front of him and take him in my arms, rocking him and comforting him.

"Miss Hailes, do you have any response to these allegations?" The Principal says staring at the woman who is looking more and more uncomfortable by the moment.

"Are you seriously going to take the word of a boy who is an attention seeker and a disruptive influence in my classroom, I am..." she stops as Christian raises his hand.

He looks at Alex and down to me; I am still on my knees comforting him.

"Ana," he says quietly, I look up and he holds out his hand, "the papers Welch sent," he demands.

I reach for my bag and pull out the folder and hand it to Christian, he throws it to the Principal, you may want to check Miss Hailes employment record from Ohio, Michigan, Minnesota and Illinois and the seemingly insignificant alterations to her name which could be dismissed as errors.

Miss Hailes blanches and stares wide-eyed at the folder. The principal opens the folder and pulls out the wad of papers as he does this Christian reaches for his phone and dials a number.

"Isobel, it's your turn, but remember what I said," he says quietly before he ends the call he then calls up the further information Welch sent and passes his phone to the principal.

"This is the latest information my security chief sent, it arrived only a few moments ago so I haven't had a chance to print it off," he says as the Principal reads whatever is on the screen of Christian's phone.

At that moment Isobel bursts in through the doors, glaring at Miss Hailes viciously. The Principal looks up at her in surprise.

"Isobel," Christian says a clear warning in his voice. "Tell the good principal what you saw yesterday."

Isobel looks straight at the principal, "I was in the girls locker room I had left my jacket in there and I was collecting it, when I heard Miss Hailes come in, I hid because I heard she had someone with her, that and the stuff she was saying it was disgusting, she kept saying she was desperate to fuck him and that she knew he wanted it as much as she did, then I heard my brothers voice, he sounded scared, he didn't want to do it and he was afraid that someone would catch them, she locked the door, which also meant I couldn't get out so I waited where I was hiding, I saw and heard things no-one should ever hear" she stops and looks at Alex, "you didn't want to do it did you?" she asks.

Alex bursts into floods of tears and shakes his head, Isobel moves towards him, "Forgive me for what I am going to do next but I had to do it to get the evidence to prove what she did to you, I could tell you didn't want to do it," Alex looks up at her and nods.

Christian nods at her and I gape at her in shock she had never mentioned the fact she had actually been in the room at the time. She had made light of the ordeal she had personally been through, to get the best possible outcome for her brother.

Izzy delves into her pocket and retrieves her phone, she glances at Alex regret written all over her face, she scrolls down and starts a video and throws her phone on the table, then she bends down and puts her hands over her brothers ears and holds him tightly, and presses her forehead to his, tears coursing down her cheeks. I look at Christian and realise this was what had changed his mind about her attending the meeting. I stare at Isobel in shock and awe, she had established the fact her brother was in distress and an unwilling party and she had put aside her own revulsion to get the evidence that was required and looking at them both now it was clear she had been affected by what she had witnessed as much as Alex who was personally involved.

The video makes for uncomfortable viewing and I am glad I cannot see what is happening because what I am hearing is making me feel physically sick. The Principal reaches for the phone and stops the video, he looks disgusted and ill, Christian is shaking with rage, but Miss Hailes just looks resigned. The principal lifts the phone and calls the police and child protection services. I am overcome with emotion I cannot control myself, I have sat and listened to what this woman has done to my son, I move past Izzy, who tries to grab my arm.

"Mom," she says.

I yank my arm out of her reach.

"Ana," Christian says but I put my hand up to silence him.

I walk up to Miss Hailes, "Stand up" I snarl; she glances at me but cowers into her seat.

"I said stand the fuck up," I snarl and I grab her arm and with all my strength I pull, Isobel walks towards me takes one look at me and grabs the woman's other arm and between us, we pull her unwillingly to her feet.

"My mom told you to stand up, so you stand the fuck up" she hisses, she fists her hands.

"Isobel, language" Christian warns and he reaches for her and pulls her away.

"Mrs Grey please" the principal pleads, I glare at him and he stops and swallows whatever he was going to say next.

"You hurt my son" I whisper.

"He loved it" she sneers.

My arm is raised and I slap her with all the strength I can muster, I slap her so hard she staggers sideways. She turns to hit me back but Christian grabs her arm.

"You hurt my son," I say again, I take a step towards her, "and so now I am going to hurt you" I slap her again and she topples against Christian who immediately pushes her down on to the chair as if she has burnt him. I step forward my hand raised to slap her again.

"Mom no" Isobel grabs me, "Mom she's not worth it" she whispers.

Alex touches my arm "Mom, Izzy is right, don't lower yourself to her level" he says sadly.

The fight leaves me, I turn to Alex and pull him into my arms and we stand and cry on each other.

Alex pulls away from me, and he makes his way over to the table and silently starts to look through the paperwork which Welch sent, he turns to Miss Hailes a hurt expression on his face.

"Why?" he says quietly.

She shrugs, and doesn't say a word, we can all see her indifference is ripping him apart, he straightens and takes a deep breath and turns to his father.

"Dad, will you make sure, all this" he gestures towards the paperwork and then to himself and finally to Miss Hailes "gets in the media, make sure everyone in the United States knows about what she did, so those people who she hurt before can come forward and get their justice as well".

Christian nods "If that is what you want," he says.

"It is," Alex replies quietly.

There is a knock at the door, and we are informed that the police have arrived, Christian immediately steps forward, and he gathers up all the paperwork and puts it in the arms of the officer, then he collects his phone and hands Isobel her phone.

Christian outlines the nature of the allegations; Miss Hailes is arrested and escorted away. A kind-faced policewoman takes Isobel and Alex to make their statements along with someone from Child Protection Services. Other Child Protection Officers are talking to Christian and the Principal.

After she has been interviewed Isobel returns, and she walks towards me and slips her arms around me.

"I need a hug" she whispers.

I turn and wrap my arms around her, "You are such a brave girl" I say stroking her hair out of her face."

"I had to do it, but it was horrible and I felt so low, but I had to be sure I got him saying no and saying he didn't want to, which I did. I knew she would probably try and turn it around on Alex, say he hounded her or make out it was lies so I had to get the evidence to prove it was all her" she says.

"Izzy it's ok," I say gripping her arms and pushing her away from me so I can look her straight in the eye "you were looking out for your brother, you didn't do what you did to get your kicks or to be malicious, you did it to protect your brother.

"Izzy" Alex has now also returned and is hovering, Isobel turns and looks at her brother. "Thank you, Izzy," he says and he opens his arms to her.

She smiles at him, and walks into him hugging him tightly "No problem" she pauses "but just remember I'm not always going to be there to pick up the pieces".

**oooOOOooo**

The next few months are a whirlwind of activity, there has been a media feeding frenzy, the youngest son of _the_ Christian Grey groomed and sexually abused by his teacher. Miss Hailes became public enemy number one, as soon as the news hit it went viral and had the desired effect that all her previous victims also came forward and finally got their own justice as well. I also had my suspicions that Welch had a hand in locating the victims and persuading them to give evidence. Plus the fact no doubt because of Christian's influence it was dealt with in a quicker manner than the usual timeline of events.

The extent of the evidence was such that it almost seemed as though it was an open and shut case, and thanks to Izzy's actions the defence's case crumbled. I was so proud of her the day she stood in the courtroom and described in detail what she had seen, the video she took on her phone was played to the court, Alex sat with Christian and as the video was played, Christian wrapped his arms around his sons head and pulled him towards him as though he was trying to shield him from it. When the video had finished there was an eerie silence. We got the verdict we wanted though and Miss Hailes was jailed and rightly so.

Since then Isobel and Alex have been seeing Flynn regularly to talk through their experiences, Isobel quickly dispatched all the negativity of what she had witnessed and returned to her usual self. Alex tried to put on a brave face but we could tell he had been seriously scarred by his ordeal, especially as he couldn't seem to come to terms with the confusion of his feelings for his teacher.

Ava had been a tower of strength for him; they had grown close and were a support for each other with their shared experiences. He had been talking to Christian more as well, I would often see them just walking and talking together around the garden, I didn't pry or interfere I just hoped that whatever was said between them would have a positive effect on both of them.

**oooOOOooo**

It is Christmas Eve now, and the house is buzzing with activity. Theo and Harry have come home, Theo graduates next year but Harry has a long way to go. Phoebe is now nearly eight months pregnant and is getting increasingly frustrated at Harry and Christian's overbearing concern.

I am in the kitchen going through the menu for Christmas day with Gail. I am aware that Gail works so hard and Christmas should be a time where she can kick back and relax. So I always make sure everything is prepared in advance and we organise it together. Gail and Taylor are joining us for Christmas dinner this year, Harry is spending the day with Phoebe and Jose and Sophie are also coming to stay. They are due to arrive shortly from Chicago. Kate is coming with the girls and we are all getting increasingly hopeful that a reconciliation is on the cards for Elliot and Kate as she is still staying with Elliot despite having the means to find a place of her own. Simpson has been jailed for his crimes and is out of our lives, for now.

As we sit and go through everything, Isobel bursts in through the door.

"Mom will you tell Phoebe," she says.

I smile "Tell Phoebe what?" I ask although I have a fairly good idea.

"She should be resting but she is putting up the Christmas decorations."

"Phoebe is pregnant she is not ill so if she feels she can safely do something then who are we to argue with her," I say as look at Isobel.

"You haven't seen what she's doing!" she retorts and pulls my arm.

I sigh and get up to follow Izzy out and I take in a sharp breath when I see her, there in the hallway is Phoebe balancing precariously on a chair stretching up to decorate the top of the tree. My mouth drops open, and Harry is circling the chair pleading with her to get down.

"Phoebe will you please get down," I ask and move quickly towards her.

She sighs, "Mom I am not made of glass," she says irritably.

I help her down, "I know you're not darling, but you have to realise that your balance isn't as good when you are as pregnant as you are, what would you do if you toppled over and fell?"

She nods "Ok mom, but I just need to be doing something, I feel so restless," she says.

I smile at her, "have you been cleaning and tidying more than normal?" I ask.

She nods, at me and I know immediately what the problem is.

"You are nesting sweetheart, that doesn't normally happen until the last few weeks of pregnancy, so you are a bit early but that's what you are doing."

"I don't understand," she says.

"You are preparing, and getting everything ready for your baby, it's a natural instinct, that's why you feel so restless."

The door opens and Christian and my father walk towards me looking windswept and I beam at them.

"Hi did you two have a good time?" I ask they have been out on the sound in Christian's boat as the weather has been abnormally good recently.

My father kisses my cheek. "Hey Annie, we had a fantastic time," he says.

"We sure did," Christian says with a smile, he disappears into the kitchen and returns with two bottles of beer and hands one to Ray. They clink bottles and head towards the sofa.

Grace appears and Christian turns and smiles at his mother, "Did you have a good sleep mom?" he asks.

Grace moves towards him "yes thank you, darling, I'm sorry about that, I had a terrible headache, but that sleep has done the trick, I feel much better now".

She turns to me, "Ana darling is there anything I can do to help?" I shake my head.

"Everything is under control, and there is nothing left to be done, we are just waiting for the others to arrive and then Christmas Eve can get into full swing".

When Elliot and Kate arrive, Ava immediately goes to Alex and they sit in a corner talking. Zoe wanders over to Phoebe and hugs her, then Ethan and Mia arrive and Jonathan charges to Isobel, who swings him around in her arms.

"Hey little dude," she says smiling at him.

We are just waiting for Jose and Sophie to arrive. I look around the room, the atmosphere is light and cheery and I go into the kitchen for some more wine. As I am in there I hear activity and make my way back out, to see that Jose and Sophie have arrived, Sophie is chatting with Harry and Jose is trying to persuade Alice to take off her coat. In the end, he gives up and Taylor bends down and within seconds has relieved Alice of her coat. Jose shakes his head and laughs, and then he spots me watching and walks towards me.

"Hey Ana, Merry Christmas, how are you?" he looks around and lowers his voice, "how's Alex, we saw the coverage, on the news, it shocked us to the core, we were quite surprised though as we thought Christian would've buried the coverage, and it was like a feeding frenzy for a while there".

I shake my head, "Christian wanted to keep it under wraps but Alex wanted it to go viral, so her other victims could come forward and get their own justice".

Jose's mouth drops open "wow," he says.

Christian appears and warmly greets Jose and Sophie, he hands Jose a beer, which Jose eagerly accepts and takes a long drink.

"Cheers," he says with a grin.

Sophie looks at Jose carefully, "Jose, have you asked them yet?" she asks.

"Oh, shit no" Jose turns to us, "Erm we are having Jason and Alice baptised in the New Year and I was wondering, I mean we were wondering if you two would be godparents?"

Christian beams at Jose, "We would be honoured" he says.

As the evening wears on the men all wander outside and I find myself with Kate, I nudge her gently and I whisper in her ear, as I do so she turns and smiles.

"Merry Christmas" I say.

"Right back at you," she says with a grin and she gives me a warm affectionate hug.

"Sooo," I ask "How are things going with you and Elliot?" I inwardly cringe at my lack of tact and rather forthright question, but in my defence, I really want to know.

She nods "Good, we are taking it one day at a time, but it's working well for us at the moment".

I place my hand on her arm, "I am so pleased for you, and you deserve it".

She nods, "Susannah has been supportive too, she got married you know, Noah is spending Christmas day with her this year, and Elliot is having him for New Year".

I nod, we make our way over to the sofa, and Phoebe is sitting there and she is very quiet.

"Are you ok?" I ask quietly.

She nods, "I'm just tired," she says.

I smile, "Then go to bed," I say gently.

She looks at me longingly, "would you mind?" she asks.

"Phoebe you are eight months pregnant, you are tired, so go to bed," I say.

Phoebe struggles to her feet and I stand and kiss her goodnight. A few moments later the men come wandering in.

"It's turned cold out there," Christian says with a shiver.

Harry looks around, "Where's Phoebe?" he asks.

"She's gone to bed, she's tired," I say.

He nods and disappears upstairs after her. The atmosphere is light and cheery everyone appears to be having a good time, I go and stand with Christian and wrap my arms around him, and he turns and smiles at me. I pull him slightly to the left, and then I glance upward, he follows my gaze and spots the mistletoe I have attached above his head, he understands immediately my intentions and he grins at me.

"Oh I see," he says as he turns to me, then he grabs my head in his hands and plants a very loud wet kiss on my lips, I don't hesitate and I grab his hair and deepen the kiss, and he can't help but respond with a groan. We are soon oblivious to everyone around us until we hear Elliot.

"Will you two get a room" he taunts, then he spots the mistletoe he glances at Kate and with a grin walks towards us.

"Move over little bro," he says shoving Christian with his elbow.

He looks directly at Kate, beseeching her to step towards him, I pull Christian away and we watch holding our breath as she starts to walk towards him. When she reaches him, she places her hand on his shoulder, tenderly he wraps his arm around her and pulls her towards him, and he places a chaste gentle kiss on her lips, he looks her in the eye and then quite deliberately he drops to his knees, everyone gasps as he struggles into his pocket and pulls out a ring box.

"Kate, I was a terrible husband and because of my stupidity I lost you, it was all my fault and I swear to you in front of all these people here, if you agree to re-marry me and give me another chance I will never ever hurt you again. I want you back Kate, you are my world and my world fell apart when you left me and made me realise what an idiot I had been, please Kate, be my wife again, will you marry me?" he stops and looks at her.

You can hear a pin drop, everyone is holding their breath, slowly she smiles, "ok" she whispers.

"What did you say?" Elliot says not quite believing what she has said.

Kate laughs "I said ok," she says a little louder.

Elliot stands and flings his arms around her, "Thank you, he says kissing her repeatedly on the cheek and mouth. He stops and pulls the ring out and slips it on her finger.

"You won't regret this" he says "I swear I will be the best husband ever" he boasts.

The applause is deafening, everyone was stunned into silence but as soon as the ring went on Kate's finger the whole room erupted. Christian walks over with a case of Cristal and proceeds to open it and Gail appears with champagne glasses.

I walk over and look at him, "Did you know he was going to do this?" I ask quietly, Christian looks at me and nods.

"He was going to do it later, but after our little show, he decided to seize the moment" he whispers.

The clock in the hallway starts chiming; I glance at my watch.

"Merry Christmas," I say to Christian, he looks at his watch and smiles.

"Merry Christmas baby" he answers and kisses me.

He turns "Does everyone have a glass of champagne?" he asks.

"No" Jonathan shouts and everyone laughs, Christian opens a bottle of lemonade and pours it into a champagne flute, "Here you are Jonathan," he says.

"Thank you, Uncle Christian," Jonathan says with a smile.

"Merry Christmas everyone," he says raising his glass in the air.

"Merry Christmas" is the unanimous chorus.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Christmas has passed in a blur before we knew it, it was all over and it was gone and people were leaving. We were so happy for Kate and Elliot. I had taken Elliot aside and threatened him not to blow it again this time, and he had looked at me seriously and solemnly promised that he had learnt his lesson.

I noticed Christian talking to him as well and assumed he had done the same thing. I was sorry to see Jose and Sophie leave, as was Taylor, but we would be seeing them again soon for the christening.

It is New Year's Day, I am walking around my relatively quiet house, it's the children, and of course Christian and I. Gail and Taylor have gone away for New Year just the two of them so Harry is also around somewhere but he seems to spend most of his time with Phoebe. I am wandering into the lounge area when Sawyer comes in towards me.

"Miss Kavanagh is here to see you," he says.

I look surprised, Kate is here? Negative thoughts fill my mind all along the lines of 'oh no what's happened now?'

"Thank you, Luke," I say quietly, and as she enters the room I run to her, "Kate what's wrong?" I ask looking at her carefully.

She smiles at me "Nothing, Elliot is spending quality time with Noah today, and he is going to tell him about us remarrying, so I wanted to keep out of the way while he did it, we are all going out for a meal later with the girls after he has told him, so I thought I'd come round and see my best friend".

I smile relieved that Elliot hasn't done something stupid already.

We sit on the sofa and chat happily, we talk about her wedding plans, Christmas, Jose and Sophie and their forthcoming Christening, it's nice just sitting and chatting until we are interrupted suddenly.

"Mom" I turn and see Phoebe standing looking at me and she has a panicked expression on her face and she has one hand on her back and the other on her bump.

"Phoebe, what's wrong?" I ask.

"My waters have just broken," she whispers, I glance down and see the increasingly wet patch spreading across her pants.

"Ok sweetheart," I walk towards her and sit her down, "Are you having contractions?" I ask.

She nods, "they are about 15 minutes apart," I've been having pains on and off all morning though but they seem to be getting be more regular since my waters broke" she says and I can hear the fear and pain in her voice as it quivers and breaks.

"I'll find Harry and Christian" Kate says immediately as she leaves the room, and then moments later the room is full. Isobel is standing staring wide-eyed at her sister and Alex is pacing around looking anxious. Theo, Christian and Harry burst through the door and Harry is beside Phoebe in seconds and he grasps her hand, Christian is hovering raking his hands through his hair and Theo just smiles at Phoebe.

"This is it then?" he says and Phoebe manages to smile back at him.

"It would appear so," she says trying to make light of it but it is all a façade as I can see the fear in her eyes, she is absolutely terrified. Theo knows this and steps towards her, and hugs her.

"I'm looking forward to meeting my new nephew," he whispers to her and she nods.

Christian is radiating worry which isn't helping matters and so I turn towards him, and touch his arm, he turns to look at me and I smile reassuringly at him.

"Calm down" I say quietly "Go and phone the hospital, tell them her waters have broken and her contractions are coming regularly and are about 15 minutes apart."

He nods, "Hospital, yes good" he mutters distractedly and then he disappears; I sigh as I watch him go and next I turn my attention to Harry who is also displaying a case of severe anxiety.

"Harry, go and get an overnight bag ready for Phoebe, and don't forget to put some baby things in it" I say calmly, he listens to me and then nods and after a slight hesitation he reluctantly leaves Phoebe's side. I crouch down beside her, and she looks embarrassed now, as she has become the centre of attention for everyone in the room.

"Thanks, mom," she says gratefully, she grasps my hand as she gets another contraction, I talk her through her breathing and as we sit I am timing her contractions and they are steadily becoming stronger and closer together.

Christian reappears with his coat on, and Harry also returns with a small bag.

Harry touches my arm and he looks worried, "It's too soon" he whispers to me.

"Don't worry, everything will be fine" I say trying to calm him, but he is right as the same thoughts are going through my mind, it is too soon.

We head to the hospital and Dr Green is waiting for us when we arrive. We are taken to delivery and Dr Green is her usual no-nonsense self as Phoebe is taken inside. I pull Christians arm to hold him back, as they are taken in.

"Christian, it's not our place to be in there," I say to him carefully.

He glares at me furiously, "My daughter is about to give birth prematurely." he hisses and gesticulates wildly at the door.

"Yes she is, and she is in the best hands and it is Harry's place to be with her, he has taken on the role of father to the baby so it is their time" I say trying to calm him.

Another reason I don't want us to go in there is because Christian's anxiety is the last thing Phoebe needs at this moment. He nods and almost sags in my arms as he relaxes, but just then the door opens, and Harry pokes his head around and looks at us questioningly.

"If you want to see this baby born you had better get a move on, she is ready to give birth and she is asking for you both," he says and disappears inside.

Christian doesn't need telling twice and charges towards the door.

Harry is sitting holding Phoebe's hand and he looks up at me, "It's all happening so quickly, I expected it to take hours" he says. He is afraid and worried that something is going to go wrong.

I smile at him "every birth is different," I say then I turn my attention to Phoebe, who is looking very distressed.

"Mom," she says holding out her free hand, "Mom it hurts, I can't do this," she says sobbing.

"Yes you can sweetheart," I say encouragingly, I stroke her head, and glance at Harry who looks very pale and seems at a loss to know what to do.

"Calm down Phoebe, and stop crying you are wasting your energy doing that, you need to calm down and focus on getting this baby out" I grasp her hand tightly, "Phoebe look at me and focus and breathe with the contractions, don't fight them" I say firmly.

Phoebe stops crying and slowly her breathing becomes more controlled, she breathes through the contraction gripping my hand and Harry's hand.

Christian is pacing around at the end of the bed, and Dr Green looks at him.

"Please sit down Mr Grey, you are not helping" she says firmly.

Christian glares at her "Can't you give her some pain relief?" he says.

Dr Green smiles at him politely, "Phoebe is about to give birth, the baby will be here before the epidural has chance to work, this is a very quick labour especially considering it is her first but I believe that Phoebe has been in labour for some time and not realised it until her waters broke and now this little man is just anxious to be here".

She turns to Phoebe, "Listen to me Phoebe, you are now fully dilated and the next contraction you have I want you to push hard".

Phoebe nods, and then she pushes, her face turns red and she gasps.

"Good girl Phoebe. That was excellent, a couple more like that and we will soon have this baby here" Dr Green says encouragingly.

Phoebe pushes again; Harry glances down and looks quite ill, "Are you ok?" I whisper to him, as I am worried he is going to faint.

He nods and whispers encouragement in Phoebe's ear, Dr Green is issuing instructions but all I can think of is when I gave birth to her and the completely different scenario that was, with the calm and ordered elective caesarean. Phoebe pushes again a few more times and then screams in pain.

"Ok Phoebe the head is out now, one more push and we will have a baby" Dr Green says firmly.

"Come on Phoebe you can do this" Christian says encouragingly, he has moved to stand behind me and he is stroking Phoebe's head with a damp cold cloth. Phoebe looks up at Christian, then to me and finally to Harry and then she pushes again and then she lets out a massive scream of pain.

Harry glances down once more and his jaw drops as Dr Green announces that the baby's head is now out. I focus on Phoebe and help her to regulate her breathing once more so she can finish delivering her son.

"Well done Phoebe, your son is here," Dr Green says a moment later, and we all hear an angry cry as Phoebe's son announces his displeasure at being born. I see Harry move and he cuts the cord with shaking hands and then he drops back to his seat, wrapping his arm around Phoebe and kissing her on the forehead.

"Well done Phoebe" he whispers to her.

Phoebe glances down at the wriggling little scrap between her legs and tears roll down her cheeks. Dr Green rubs the baby with a towel and wraps him and places him on Phoebe's chest. Harry is crying and Christian has tears in his eyes.

"My baby" Phoebe says as she stares down at her son, then she looks at Harry, "Our baby" she corrects herself.

"Well done Phoebe," Christian says his voice thick with emotion "he's beautiful, just like his mother!"

Harry gently takes the baby from Phoebe's arms, staring at him, as Phoebe is cleaned up and the placenta is delivered.

Harry is overcome with emotion, "Hello, I'm your daddy" he says quietly to the baby in his arms. "I'm going to take care of you and your mom for the rest of my life," he vows and then he kisses the baby gently on his forehead.

The baby is gently removed from his arms by Dr Green and he is weighed and checked. Both Christian and Harry follow her and hover over her as she completes the necessary checks.

"Is he ok?" Christian asks anxiously, as he stands with Dr Green "after all he is quite early".

Dr Green nods, "he is absolutely fine, he is a little small at 5lbs but he just wanted to be born, he is breathing well and all his vital signs are good and strong. We will keep an eye on him today just to make sure, but I can't see any problems". She smiles at Phoebe "Do you have a name for him?" She asks.

Phoebe nods, she glances at Harry who also nods – "Damien, Damien Matthew Weston-Grey" she says.

"Matthew" I whisper and tears immediately fill my eyes once more as I think about my lost baby, even after all these years it is hard but I fight to suppress them as this isn't the time or place.

Phoebe nods, and she looks at me carefully as I think she realises what I am thinking about. "I wanted him to have his uncle's name," she says, we both liked Damien and I thought Matthew went well with it, you don't mind do you mom?" she asks.

"Of course not, it's a lovely gesture," I say and I give her a genuine smile.

"A beautiful name for a beautiful boy," Christian says quietly, we look around and see him standing cradling Damien in his arms, he looks at me and I walk towards him and wrap my arm around his waist and gaze down at our first grandchild.

I smile up at Christian and nudge him gently, "Hello Granddad," I say teasingly.

Christian looks at me with almost a look of surprise as that realisation dawns on him.

"I am a grandfather" he says and smiles.

**oooOOOooo**

_Three weeks later..._

Phoebe has taken to motherhood like a duck to water; she is calm and methodical and dotes on baby Damien. Harry is a proud father and treats Damien as if he was his own.

Theo and Isobel are keen to hold and cuddle their new nephew at every possible opportunity but Alex is a bit distant, but I felt it has nothing to do with the baby, but more about Alex. Since the court case and despite regular visits to Flynn Alex is becoming more and more withdrawn. We are all worried about him, but the only person he has really opened up is Christian and he is trying his hardest to bring our son back to us.

I am thinking about everything that has happened over the past few months, as I go for my regular visit to Matthews grave, I perform my usual ritual I place fresh flowers on it and I clean the headstone. I tell him all about his new nephew and how he has his name as his middle name and how his older sister is a brilliant mom. I tell him how his brother is struggling to come to terms with what has happened to him. Eventually I turn to leave and return to back to the car where Sawyer is waiting, and he smiles kindly at me.

"Ready Mrs Grey?" he asks gently.

I nod, "Thank you Luke" I reply, "if you could take me to the office now please."

Sawyer nods and closes the door and walks round to the driver's side. As the car moves away, I turn to see an old man standing looking closely at Matthew's grave.

"Luke, look" I say pointing.

Sawyer slows down and watches the old man, he is leaning heavily on a stick and he just stands staring, reading the inscription on the headstone before turning to leave. I look at him and he somehow looks familiar, but I can't place him, and I know that I certainly don't know him, I've never seen him before in my life.

"Don't worry Mrs Grey" Sawyer says kindly, "He was probably just looking for a grave" he doesn't seem concerned and I have far more important things to think about, namely getting ready to leave for Chicago in a couple of days for the Christening of Jose and Sophie's children.

I put the strange old man out of my mind and concentrate on the matters to hand, when I arrive at work I plough through my day and get everything in order before I leave for Chicago, I am happy about going as I have full trust and confidence in my team to take care of everything while I am gone.

That evening I check and double check that everything is sorted, Christian comes up to me as I am double checking our case, and he puts his arms around me and pulls me to him. He nuzzles my neck, making my insides melt.

"Will you stop it," I say playfully and I try and elbow him out of the way, and he lets out a small snort of laughter and feigns being mortally wounded.

I know he is playing as I feel his smile against my neck so I turn and wrap my arms around him. "I'm not going to get this done if you don't stop distracting me," I say.

"Gail will do it" he replies flippantly.

I shake my head, "No she won't, Gail and Taylor are sorting their own things out don't forget its Taylor's grandchildren who are being christened".

Christian nods, "I see your point," he says and looks down at the case. "Can I help?" he asks.

I shake my head, "No its ok, I'm nearly done now" I say.

Just then there is a knock at the door, "Come in" I call and the door opens and Alex wanders in.

"Hello," I say smiling at him and he returns my smile.

"Mom, can I come to the christening?" he asks.

"Of course you can" I reply, I hadn't expected this considering how distant and withdrawn he has been recently and I had made up my mind not to force him to attend.

"Are Pheebs and Izzy going?" he asks hopefully.

"Izzy is, but Phoebe is staying here with Damien, as she isn't keen on him flying so soon" I say. "Theo is coming but he is meeting us there, he is catching a scheduled flight out from Massachusetts, and we are all going from here in your father's plane."

Alex nods, "mom can I talk to you?" he asks, he hesitates and glances at Christian, who tactfully removes himself from the room.

He sits on the bed and I sit beside him and wait for him to speak. I wait for what seems like ages before he opens his mouth.

"Mom, are you ashamed of me, because of what I did?" he asks.

My mouth drops open, "Alex sweetheart whatever gave you that idea? Of course I'm not; you were not to blame at all". I am shocked by his question and I wonder what I have done to give him that impression and I wrap my arms around him.

"I don't know, I'm just so confused, I thought I loved her, but I knew it was wrong what she was doing, and yet I enjoyed it but then another part of me was ashamed and ..." he stops and shakes his head sadly.

"Alex, listen to me, you were not to blame. Do you understand me, you were a fifteen-year-old boy who was seduced and abused by someone who should have known better; she was in the wrong Alex not you".

I stare at him willing him to believe me. "Why did you think I was ashamed of you?" I ask.

"It was just the look on your face when you heard and saw that video Izzy recorded when it was played in the courtroom," he says quietly.

"Alex, that wasn't shame darling, that was anger at her and pain for you for what you went through, and I was disgusted that someone did those things to my son, I could never ever be ashamed of you," I say firmly.

"Dad's been really helpful and so has Dr Flynn, dad went through something similar didn't he? He hasn't gone into detail, but some of the things he has said to me, it made me realise he went through the same sort of thing - someone sexually abused him when he was my age?"

I nod but don't say anything, Alex smiles up at me, "Thanks, mom" he says he looks more relaxed now and he hugs me tightly.

"Anytime sweetheart, you know you can always talk to me or your dad about anything, and never ever think we are ashamed of you because we couldn't be prouder of you," I say hugging him back with tears in my eyes.

**oooOOOooo**

We are driving to Sea-Tac, as we pull into the airport grounds my attention is caught on a man getting out of a taxi and going into the airport, it is the old man I saw at Matthews grave, my breath catches and I look at Luke, who I realise has also seen him.

"What's wrong baby?" Christian asks, "What are you looking at?" he adds as he follows my gaze towards the man.

"That man, just there the one with the walking stick" I say quietly and I point, Christian looks over to where I am pointing and he stares at the man for a moment and watches him as he disappears.

"And?" he asks eventually with a confused look on his face.

I explain how I saw him at Matthew's grave after I had been there, and now he was in the airport. Christian shrugs and he seems unconcerned. "He was probably just looking for a grave, and now coincidentally is going somewhere, don't worry about it baby" he says dismissively and he kisses my cheek.

I do wonder if I am making more out of this than is necessary after all if Christian isn't concerned then maybe I am just being paranoid. But I can't help the feeling that I know the man from somewhere, and I am getting an odd feeling about that. I decide to let it go and I push it from my mind and concentrate on the journey I am about to take to go and see my friend in Chicago.

When we arrive in Chicago, Jose is at the airport to meet us, and he has Alice with him who excitedly runs straight to Taylor and he sweeps her up in his arms, and she flings her small arms around his neck.

Jose shakes Christians hand and gives both Gail and me a swift peck on the cheek. It is good to see him again, and I have to admit I am quite excited as this is the first time we have been to Chicago to see him. Sophie is waiting to meet us at the house, and when we get there Taylor immediately embraces her and kisses her and she gently places baby Jason into his arms, Alice once again comes over. Taylor notices and crouches down to her, he wraps one arm around his granddaughter whilst holding his grandson securely in his other arm. I smile at the sight as it is something special, seeing him holding his two grandchildren and seeing the love he is so openly displaying, he looks so proud of both of them. Jose carries all the bags inside, and Christian helps him as he is aware that this trip is as much for Taylor and Gail as it is for us.

We decide to do a bit of sightseeing around Chicago in the afternoon and Jose takes us to his workplace. Christian is welcomed enthusiastically by the directors of the company and his presence seems to cause a bit of a stir. I watch my husband effortlessly command the room and he has everyone eating out of his hand. It is hardly surprising as he is one of the most influential businessmen not only in the United States but the world.

We have a lovely afternoon; Alex and Izzy wander off together taking in the city and doing some sightseeing. Eventually we leave and head back to Jose's place as we are doing so Christian's phone rings and he smiles as he looks at the screen.

"Theo," he says as he answers it and the love he has for his eldest son is evident in his voice.

I watch as he listens and nods, and as he is pushing his phone back into his pocket he turns to Jose.

"I don't suppose we could swing past the airport, as Theo has just landed?" he asks and I smile as normally Christian would just demand and expect it to be done.

Jose smiles, "Sure," he says.

**oooOOOooo**

Sophie has made a beautiful meal for us all and as we all sit around the table and I am so pleased to see Jose so happy, they really do make a wonderful couple and they are clearly deeply in love. As we are eating there is a knock at the door and Jose stops Sophie from getting up and rises to answer it.

"Dad, Ray" he exclaims, and I look up as they enter the room, "I wasn't expecting you both until tomorrow" Jose says as he follows them in.

I am also surprised, I stand and run to my stepfather, "Daddy" I say.

"Hey, Annie," he says with a grin and kisses my cheek. Then he glances at the table. "I'm sorry we have disturbed your meal" he says apologetically.

Jose shakes his head "Nonsense and please join us, there is plenty if you would like some?" he says.

Places are quickly set for my dad and Mr Rodriguez along with plates and cutlery. They both apologise profusely for gate crashing but are quickly silenced by both Jose and Sophie.

Christian rises to his feet and shakes Ray's and Mr Rodriguez hand as they take their places at the table but he also frowns at them.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming, you could have flown here with us?" he says.

My dad smiles, "I know son, and thank you but I wanted to surprise Annie."

Christian smiles, "Well you did that, but you should still have come with us," he says.

As we are lying in bed that evening I turn to Christian, "Are you awake?" I murmur.

"Hmmm," he replies sleepily.

"Christian, can we go somewhere, before we head home after the christening?" I ask warily.

He turns and looks at me, "Sure baby, where do you want to go?"

"Detroit," I ask gingerly.

Christian visibly stiffens at the mention of that place, "Why?" he asks warily.

I place my hand on his arm which immediately makes him relax a little.

"I want to visit your mother's grave it's been a long time since we last went and the children haven't ever been, she was their grandmother whether you like that fact or not so its time they did" I say.

Christian shakes his head and sighs deeply, "If it makes you happy then we will go, but I can't think why you would want to, you dragged me there years ago when you made me admit that I loved her, I employ someone to tend the grave and..."

"You don't have to come if you really don't want to," I say quietly interrupting him mid-sentence. "It's just while we are in this part of the country, I thought I'd like to go and take the children with me".

He nods and smiles "Ok baby," he says.

**oooOOOooo**

The christening is a huge success, and Alice stole the show with her chatter and asking questions. Baby Jason was as good as gold and only grizzled a little when the water was poured on him. All too soon we were leaving and I was sorry to go. I made this obvious as I hugged Jose fiercely as we left. Taylor and Gail waved us off as they were taking the opportunity to spend a few more days with Jose and Sophie. The plan was that we would head to Detroit and then on to Massachusetts to despatch Theo back at Uni and then on the way back we would stop and pick up Gail and Taylor in Chicago before returning home to Seattle.

We touch down in Detroit later that day and Sawyer has arranged a hire car for us. Christian seems to want to get this over with as quickly as possible and so I go along with his plan to go straight to the cemetery from the airport. We stop off at a florist where I had buy some flowers to place on Ella's grace and then Luke drives us to the cemetery. It is a silent journey I had told the children where we are going but they can see this is affecting Christian and so are staying quiet.

When we get there I look around and get my bearings, trying to recall where Ella's grave is situated but Christian clearly remembers and starts walking. As we approach the area where Ella is buried I can see someone in the distance, and as we get closer I can see they are standing at Ella's grave, as it now has a proper headstone rather than just a simple plaque on the ground.

As we get closer, the figure comes into clearer focus and I go cold as I recognise him and I just stop dead as I see the man laying flowers on Christians mother's grave.

"Baby, what is it?" Christian asks me as I stand frozen to the spot.

I grip Christians arm and point, "Look it's him again," I whisper, "it's him, the old man I saw in Seattle at Matthew's grave and then again at the airport". I look at Sawyer for confirmation that I'm not paranoid or seeing things and he nods in agreement.

"It certainly looks like him ma'am," he agrees.

"Who is he and what is he doing?" I ask.

Luke shrugs but is now on full alert. I glance at Christian who is just watching the man closely, it seems nobody is going to make the first move so I decide to find out who he is and I start to walk over to the old man.

"Ana" Christian says sharply and he reaches for me to pull me back.

I shrug his hand away and ignore him as I keep walking and after cursing under his breath Christian follows me.

"Hello," I say nervously, the man turns and looks at me, then his eyes immediately move to Christian and he swallows deeply.

"Hello" he replies gruffly, and he looks at the flowers in my hand and then steps aside so I can lay them down. The silence is uncomfortable; he can't take his eyes off of Christian, it's as if he is drinking him in and I can't place the look on his face and in his eyes, pride? love? disbelief? I see them all and I wonder who this man is.

"Excuse me, Mr Grey, Mr Christian Grey?" he asks eventually.

Christian looks at him "yes" he says impassively. Luke is now bristling and edging closer, but something tells me this man means us no harm.

The old man swallows again, and glances at me and then he slowly looks at Theo, Alex and Izzy who are hovering in the background.

"Was… was Ella your biological mother?" he asks Christian, and I see Christian stiffen noticeably and he nods once but does not say a word.

The old man's eyes well with tears and he reaches out his hand to Christian, who immediately steps back to avoid the touch. Izzy immediately steps forward and glares at the old man, and Luke also steps forward with more than a slight hint of menace. Christian puts his hand on her arm and halts her and turning to Luke he holds up his other hand and then he looks at me. As he does so realisation is slowly dawning in my mind. As I see the old man standing with Christian I can see the striking similarities in their looks, but it's his eyes which confirm it for me and my hand rushes to my throat and I gasp, Christian immediately puts his arm around me, and looks at me questioningly. He looks confused as he doesn't see it and I reach for him and grip his hand.

"Christian" I whisper, "I think this man is biologically related to you," I say quietly.

The old man just bursts into tears and nods, "I am your father" he says.

Christian goes deathly white and shakes his head; he pulls away from me and takes a step back.

"No, no no no" he says, and his hand goes to his hair and grabs at it.

I reach for him as he is staring around wildly and Izzy looks shocked to see her father so distressed. Theo and Alex who up to this point have been watching from a discreet distance quickly come forward and they also reach out towards him.

"Dad?" Theo says, but Christian doesn't seem to hear him.

I quickly take charge and pull him close, "Christian it's ok" I say as I am trying to calm him. I spot a bench and lead him to it, the old man follows he is watching Christian's reaction closely and he looks concerned. Christian sits down and puts his head in his hands, and the man sits beside him but he doesn't get too close. I am grateful that he is giving Christian the space he needs. I look at Izzy who is getting more and more agitated by the second, whilst Theo and Alex are just both standing with their mouths hanging open, unable to comprehend what is happening.

"What is your name and how do you think this?" I ask the old man gently.

He sighs, "My name Andrew Christian Chalmers, Ella and I were childhood sweethearts and we loved the bones of each other. We were head over heels in love and sometimes love makes you do stupid things like having a physical relationship without any contraception. Both our families were horrified they tried to separate us and force Ella to get rid of you so we ran away together. With hindsight we were too young and too naive to have a child, but we loved you dearly and we did our best for you, but after you were born Ella started suffering with post partum depression, at first we all thought it was just the baby blues and she would get over it but she didn't and she got worse until she went off the rails completely, we didn't live in the best area and she started taking drugs and got deeper and deeper into the bad crowd she had become involved with, then one day I came home from work and was gone, she had taken you and just left me" he stops and swallows hard as he shakes his head remembering that time.

"I searched and searched for her, but I couldn't find either of you it was as if you had both disappeared off the face of the earth. I finally discovered by chance she had run off with one of the guys who had been feeding her drugs and he had taken her to Detroit. So I came to Detroit to look for her and to take you both home, but I was too late as by the time I found out where she was I also found out she had died and that you had been adopted, that was where I hit brick wall after brick wall as nobody would tell me where you had gone and who had you. Then I saw you both many years ago, when you came to visit Ella's grave. I didn't approach you then as I was too scared, I saw and heard you both talking and knew, I just knew you were my boy but I also recognised you from the media and I realised who you were now and so I didn't want to say anything in case you thought I was just some kind of con artist who was after your money".

"So why now?" Christian asks after a moment, "Why have you suddenly taken it upon yourself to fly to Seattle recently?" he asks coldly.

The man looks startled but quickly recovers and answers.

"I am dying and I just wanted to see my son once in person before I died, and apologise for the lost years and try and explain that I never forgot you and that I always loved you, but I had no idea how to go about it, I mean I couldn't just come to your home and knock on the door and say hello son I'm your dad, but I needed to see you, so yes I even flew to Seattle recently – I watched you as you came and went to your work place and I visited your son's grave, I saw your wife laying flowers there and after you had gone I went over" he stops and waits for Christian to respond.

"Where are you from originally? Christian asks.

"Cleveland" he replies.

"So I was born in Cleveland, not Detroit?" Christian asks.

The old man nods. "Look I know this is all kinds of weird but I am telling you the truth, I searched and searched for you, please believe me, I hunted for you but then when I finally realised who you were, well… my courage left me. I have been following you over the years through the media, and keeping updated of your life getting what snippets I could".

"I have something which you might like to see," he says reaching into his inside pocket, Luke steps forward and reaches for his gun but I put my hand out to stop him.

The old man freezes and looks wide-eyed at the weapon. "I'm not going to hurt him, I just wanted to show him a photograph," he says stunned at Luke's reaction.

He slowly pulls out his hand and clutched in it are two small faded crumpled pictures, and he offers them to Christian. Christian takes them and gasps.

I look at the photographs and I see a picture of the woman from Christian's notice board but she looks healthy and happy in this picture and she is cradling a baby in her arms, a baby with a shock of copper hair and grey eyes.

"Mom" Christian murmurs, he looks at the other one which is one of the baby alone.

"That's you," the old man says proudly.

Christian stares at the photographs in his hand and then looks up, "What was my name?" he asks suddenly, "Was I called Christian or was that the name Grace and Carrick gave me?" he asks.

"Andrew – Andrew Junior, and we called you AJ, your middle name was Christian, Andrew Christian Chalmers, just like me."

Christian looks at the old man, as he hands the photographs back, "would you return to Seattle with us, and would you mind doing some paternity tests to confirm everything you have told me?" he asks as he now seems to have pulled himself together .

Andrew nods and smiles, "Of course I will, now I have finally found you I want you to believe I am who I say I am" he reaches out to Christian who stiffens noticeably and shrinks back; the old man notices and immediately retracts his hand.

"I'm sorry" he says.

Christian shakes his head, "No it's me, I..." he stops.

"Don't worry AJ I understand" he says gently.

Christian snorts, "Believe me when I say I don't think you do".

The flight back to Seattle is a sombre affair. We have collected Taylor and Gail and Taylor along with Sawyer are in a room at the back of the plane, with Christian. Theo has been deposited back at Uni and Alex and Izzy are sitting with me. Andrew is in awe of his surroundings as we head back and he looks a little uncomfortable with them. Christian spoke to Welch before we took off and I am assuming he is doing some digging to try and verify Andrew's claims. Christian also called Grace who is going to meet us at the airport, when we land.

As we leave the plane, Grace is waiting on the tarmac with Phoebe who is holding Damien, I walk towards them and I see Grace looks worried. As soon as Christian emerges she runs to him and wraps her arms around him and kisses him. She is staring at Andrew as he comes to stand next to Christian, and he holds his hand out to her as Christian introduces them.

"Mrs Grey, I believe I owe you a debt of thanks for taking care of my son for all these years" he says quietly.

Christian frowns "This woman is my mother the only real mother I have ever known" he says in a clipped tone.

Andrew blushes, "I'm sorry I... I... I didn't mean to imply... I " he stammers.

Grace smiles at him kindly "don't worry, no offence taken" she says.

We drive Andrew to the Fairmont and Christian gets him put up in a room there. Andrew offers Christian his hand as we leave him to get settled in. Christian hesitates and then takes it.

"Wow," Izzy says suddenly as we are driving home, "You can't accuse this family of being boring" she adds with a grin. She turns to Christian "Do you think he's for real dad?" she asks.

Christian shrugs, "I don't know, but his story is certainly compelling" he says.

"He looks a bit like you, or should I say you look like him," Alex says, and I nod in agreement.


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

The next few days are a blur of activity; the DNA paternity tests are done. We are sitting in the office of a doctor at the hospital who is going to give us the results. I am sitting with Christian who looks lost and vulnerable whilst Andrew looks calm and collected.

The doctor appears and smiles at us. "Sorry to keep you waiting," he says with a smile and offers his hand to Christian, myself and then Andrew. He sits down and opens an envelope.

His eyebrows raise and he gives the papers to Christian, "Mr Chalmers is indeed your biological father," he says.

Christian looks at the papers and then looks towards Andrew, who has tears in his eyes. Christian swallows deeply and looks at me, he looks so vulnerable I feel my heart twisting for him; I touch his arm gently and put my hand out for the papers. He hands them to me and wraps his arm around me pulling me to him and clinging to me.

Christian invites Andrew back to our home to talk. As we walk in we see Phoebe sitting feeding Damien and I smile at her.

"Phoebe, its official this is your grandfather" I say gesturing towards Andrew, he sits down on the sofa, looking around the room, he looks uncomfortable and overwhelmed. Phoebe finishes up feeding Damien and burps him and places him in Andrew's arms.

"In which case this is Damien, your great-grandson," she says with a smile. Andrew smiles and cradles the baby in his arms. Christian sits down beside him and looks as though he means business.

"You said you were dying, what's wrong with you?" he asks getting straight to the point.

Andrew sighs, "It's not important," he says as he hands Damien back to Phoebe and watches her discreetly leave the room.

"I will be the judge of that" Christian replies firmly.

"Heart disease" Andrew replies shortly.

Christian looks at him, "Surely you could just have a bypass operation?" he asks.

Andrew looks uncomfortable, I realise he probably hasn't got any insurance to pay for such a procedure, the look on Christian's face tells me he realises that this might be the case as well.

Andrew looks at Christian, and Christian says "I will arrange for you to be assessed."

"No you won't, I am not going to spend my remaining time on this earth sponging off you," Andrew says adamantly.

Christian frowns, "I have just discovered the only biological family member I have aside from my children and I have the means to help that person stay alive longer than he otherwise would, and you would deny me that?" he says shortly his eyes flashing dangerously.

Andrew swallows deeply, he still looks uncomfortable, but Christian won't take no for an answer and in the end, he agrees to see a specialist.

Christian walks away to phone the hospital and I move towards Andrew. "I should tell you something, he wants to do this, but he needs to do this too" I stop and Andrew looks at me questioningly.

"Christian's mother, Ella died and he was 4 years old, he was alone with the body for a number of days before the body was discovered, by his mothers pimp, he called the authorities and left. It damaged Christian profoundly, he felt he was unable to help his mother even though he was only a small child, and as a result he is incredibly overprotective of me and our children, he has to have control in all things, but he isn't as bad as he used to be. Now he has found you he will want to do everything in his power to help you, so please let him" I say and I pat Andrew's hand.

Andrew's mouth is hanging open, "I had no idea," he says quietly.

"There is much more to the story but I will leave that to Christian to decide whether or not he tells you, but suffice to say he was very badly scarred by his early years" I say. Emotionally and physically I think to myself.

Andrew nods, the pain written all over his face. "How did Ella die?" he asks.

I shake my head, "I'm not sure, but from what Christian has said it appeared to be a drugs overdose."

Andrew shakes his head sadly. "I did look for them, I searched and searched, I never lost hope I would find him". He pulls out his wallet, and produces the battered old photographs again and hands them to me, and again I see the one of Christian as a baby in the arms of his mother, and now his copper hair and grey eyes are instantly recognisable. The second picture of Christian on his own lying on a carpet with a teddy makes me smile.

"So, that really is me then?" Christian is standing behind us staring at the photo of the baby lying on the carpet, he reaches for the other one and swallows deeply when he sees his mother, the distress on his face is evident he rakes his hand through his hair, I stand swiftly and go to him and wrap my arms around him.

"Come and sit down, and talk," I say to him.

He hesitates and then allows me to lead him to the sofa, he takes the photographs of him with his mother and he stares at it, "she looks like she loves me in this photo" he says quietly.

"Of course she did" Andrew replies "Why would you think otherwise?" he asks.

Christian snorts bitterly, "The memories I have of my biological mother are not pleasant ones, I didn't even know what my own name was as she barely spoke to me at all and when she did she called me 'maggot' which I suppose was better than the name her pimp gave me".

"Which was?" Andrew asks nervously.

"Little Shit" Christian stakes coldly.

"Oh A…Christian" Andrew says, quickly correcting himself. "I'm certain your mother loved you, she was so proud when you were born" he says earnestly.

Christian snorts again and shakes his head "I cannot be certain of that assumption" he says coldly.

"Why?" Andrew asks.

Christian lifts his head up and stares straight into the eyes of the old man in front of us, then he unbuttons his shirt and takes it off, he gestures to the scars on his chest and then turns and points over his shoulder at the ones on his back. "Because she let her pimp do this to me among other things," he says bitterly.

Phoebe is in the doorway, I don't know how long she has been standing there but the horrified look on her face tells me she has heard everything. She looks at her father who quickly pulls his shirt back on and buttons it up.

"Oh daddy," she says and runs to him he stands and catches her in his arms, "It's ok Phoebe it was a long while ago," he says.

She nods, "I'll go check on Damien," she says. As she has only just come down from putting Damien down, I am assuming she is just tactfully removing herself from the room. I look at Andrew who looks crushed; he watches the evident love between Christian and his daughter and doesn't say a word.

I stand to leave too, Christian reaches out and grips my hand, "Don't go baby" he pleads, "I need you" he whispers. I sit down again and grasp his hand tightly.

I decide to step in at this point, "Christian has suffered nightmares throughout his life because of the way he was treated as a young child, and I was the first person he allowed to touch him", I purposely ignore the fact Elena could also touch him.

"He suffers from a phobia of anyone touching him, because the only touch he knew for so long was harsh and cruel and it took us a long while for him to trust me to allow me to touch his body, and even now the only people who can touch him on certain parts of his body to this day are me, our children, his sister and his mother. It left him unable to mix with other children and it became intolerable during his teen years he got into fights – bad ones, he did it just to get some kind of physical contact with other people, and it lead to him being taken advantage of and abused by an older woman who sexually abused him for a number of years" I say then stop as Andrew gasps in shock.

Christian has his head down and I wrap my arms around him, he clings to me without saying a word. Andrew looks as though I have given him a beating. He looks lost and hurt; he hesitates then puts his hands out to Christian.

"AJ...I mean Christian," he says and stops, he holds his hands out but doesn't make any attempt to touch Christian.

Christian looks at him and then looks at me, in front of me is the small frightened and bewildered boy I remember from the photographs Welch found years ago, not the proud strong 50-year-old captain of industry and hotshot CEO I have adored all these years. Christian reaches across and gingerly touches Andrew's hand, he lets go of me and reaches out to his father with his other arm, as Andrews' arms slowly wrap around his son, Christian freezes and an unearthly noise escapes his throat like a wounded animal.

Andrew holds Christian to him gently stroking his arm and whispering in his ear, soothing words. "It's ok I won't hurt you, son," he says. I see Christian gradually relax and bury his head in Andrews shoulder and sob, Andrew wraps his hand around Christians head and just rocks him gently.

Just at that moment Izzy and Alex walk in and see Christian in the most vulnerable state they have ever seen and Izzy immediately freezes.

"Dad?" she says and steps towards him.

Christian raises his head, Andrew immediately releases him and Christian stands he holds out his arms to Izzy and she steps into them.

"Izzy, we got the results and this is your grandfather" he says. Izzy glares at the old man in front of her. Alex comes round and offers his hand to Andrew before Christian can say anything.

"Hello grandfather," he says, Andrew takes Alex's hand smiles at him as he greets him.

Izzy just continues to glare at him, "Izzy, please," Christian says gently.

"So you are for real?" she spits, and she is still radiating mistrust and downright hostility.

"Izzy," Christian says sharply.

Andrew raises his hand, "No it's ok, I understand" he says calmly.

Izzy turns to her father and looks up at him and he simply nods. I smile as I see the silent conversation taking place. There are no words being spoken between them and yet each knows exactly what is going on. Eventually she nods seemingly satisfied but doesn't say anything, then she releases herself from her father's arms and wanders away without another word.

Christian looks at Andrew, "Please forgive my daughter, she is a little like me and doesn't like anyone who she perceives as hurting her family, she will come around but you just need to give her some time."

Andrew nods, "I followed the trial of that teacher who abused Alex and Isobel was portrayed as the heroine for gathering all the evidence to put her away - I assumed it was exaggerated but now having met her, I am thinking maybe it's not" he smiles.

I smile, "Izzy is one of a kind," I say.

Dinner is a little uncomfortable, Christian has introduced Andrew to the staff, Taylor nods and disappears as does Sawyer, Wiseman and Prescott look stunned. Gail has been her usual friendly self, and I can see Andrew has warmed to her. Grace has joined us for dinner, I am sure she wants to talk to Andrew and explain some of what happened to Christian from her point of view, after all, she was the doctor who examined him when he was first found. Izzy is still giving off hostile vibes, but Phoebe and Alex are more accepting.

We explain about Christian's family, about Mia and Elliot and all the nieces and nephews, Christian and Grace both have tears in their eyes when they talk about Carrick and Grace digs a photograph out of her purse and shows it to Andrew.

As the evening wears on things become a little more relaxed and Andrew shows Grace his treasured photographs of Christian as a baby. Grace's hand flies to her throat and tears pour down her cheeks.

"Oh Christian darling you were a beautiful baby," she says. She turns to Andrew, "May I ask what you called him?" she asks carefully.

"Andrew Junior, but we called him AJ for short, Andrew Christian Chalmers," Andrew says with a smile, "I keep having to stop myself from calling him AJ now as in my head he has always been AJ, why did you call him Christian?" he asks.

Grace smiles sadly, "We were given the copy of his Birth Certificate when we adopted him and it was badly damaged so much so that his first name was illegible but we could just about make out the name Christian on it so we called him that," Grace says simply.

**oooOOOooo**

Christian and Andrew are spending a lot of time together, and getting to know each other and learning about each other and slowly but surely he has become a permanent fixture within our family. The road hasn't been easy, as both Andrew and Christian have a lifetime of issues to overcome and accept about each other but the fact that they are both willing to give it their best shot is half the battle.

Christian, in his usual well-meaning but slightly high-handed and domineering way arranged for all his father's belongings to be brought to Seattle from Detroit and he gave him Escala to live in, Andrew was reluctant at first and totally overwhelmed but eventually he accepted Christian's gesture with good will.

He has also become incredibly close to Grace in the short amount of time they have known each other and they had shared stories, Andrew telling Grace what AJ was like as a baby, and Grace talking about the child that was Christian who had grown up with her and Carrick. It seems amazing that so much has happened in such a short space of time, but once Christian gets the bit between his teeth, things happen and happen quickly.

The best news was what we discovered only this week after Christian took his father to see the top heart specialist in Seattle, it appears that the heart disease Andrew is suffering from isn't as terminal as first thought, and after a bypass operation, he will be good to go for a few more years yet. Naturally Christian has moved quickly and arranged and paid for his father to have the life-extending surgery.

That is where Christian is at this moment, he is at the hospital and he has barely been home the past few days since his father went in for his operation. He has been an emotional wreck during the operation and has spent hours sitting by his father's bedside afterwards.

Just as I am thinking about him, the door to the lounge opens and Christian walks in, he looks tired, I immediately stand and walk towards him, he throws his jacket on the chair and wraps his arms around me, burying his face in my hair and inhaling deeply.

"How's your dad?" I ask as I gently caress his back.

"He's doing well, his progress has been astounding considering his age" the relief is evident in Christian's voice.

"He has something to live for now," I say quietly and pull him closer to me.

Andrew's progress and recovery continue and he is soon well enough to be discharged into our care. He didn't go to Escala immediately as Christian adamantly insisted that he stayed with us here until he is fully recovered and able to take care of himself. He has very quickly become a permanent part of our family and I think it's also nice how Grace has also welcomed and accepted him as part of the family, Christian's biological and adoptive family coming together, she has been making regular visits to see Andrew since he left the hospital.

Talking seems to be the thing Christian and Andrew do most, it makes me smile when I remember back to how getting anything at all out of Christian was like getting blood from a stone, but he has opened up and talked openly with his father of his past and about what he remembers of the time with his mother. I often walk in and they are talking together, one such occasion I hear Christian asking his father a question.

"Dad, why didn't you ever remarry?" I hold my breath listening, and debating whether or not to go in.

I hear the disembodied voice of Andrew coming through the door "Ella was the love of my life, the way you are with Ana reminds me of what we had, before it all went wrong. You have to realise I have spent my life searching for you both and there was never any question of giving up and moving on because there wasn't room for anyone else. While she was out there somewhere and then when I discovered that she was dead and you had been adopted, my search then continued for you. I have spent my life searching and that single minded dedication paid off in the end because I eventually found you. I will never forget the day I first saw you, all grown up. You were stood by her grave, something had told me to go there that day. Something had willed me to go I can't explain it and I saw you. Ana leading you by the hand and finding the grave, I saw her hold you so tenderly, I had no idea life had been so rough for you with Ella, and you had so many issues about her... Ana looked as though she was pregnant?"

I hear Christian speak again, "She was – with Theo, I had behaved so badly when she told me she was pregnant but thankfully she forgave me and we had worked it all out, but I realised… no that's not right, Ana made me realise that I had to forgive my mother before I could be any sort of father. Ana knew that visiting her grave would help with that but it took her a while to persuade me to go, she is a wonderful woman and I don't know what I would have become if I had never met her, she saved me."

I swallow deeply from the other side of the door and walk away, this is far too private a conversation to interrupt. I head to the kitchen, Gail is busy preparing dinner, I smile at her and sit down at the table.

"Dinner will be ready in about half an hour Mrs Grey," Gail says cheerfully.

I nod, "Thank you, Gail," I say, I decide to broach a subject which has been bothering me for a while, and I have been putting off.

"Gail, what are your thoughts on Harry taking on Phoebe and the baby?" I ask, Gail stills and looks at me, "Honestly" I add.

Gail sighs, "I don't know, I feel responsible for him, after all, I'm his Aunt, and his only family and I don't want to see him get hurt, Phoebe went off the rails for a while, but she seems settled now and everyone deserves a second chance, she has taken to motherhood so I am hoping they can make a go of it, but I have a feeling in the back of my mind that something is going to go wrong. I am hoping I am wrong, but it's something which I can't shake".

I nod, "I feel exactly the same way, I know its an awful thing to say about my own daughter, but she hurt him once before so it's hard not to have concerns she will do it again, but as you say motherhood has suited her and calmed her down plus she loves Damien and wants what's best for him and she does seem to have genuine feelings for Harry". I pause and shrug "I guess we will both have to just wait and see," I say with a sigh.

"It's all we can do," Gail says.

We are gathered around the dinner table, Grace has joined us again. Alex is talking about his day at school; both he and Izzy have changed schools since the court case with Miss Hailes. The infamy was just too much and with the story of the abuse being the top news across the States for months, the school had been under siege from the paps trying to get a glimpse of Alex. So after some discussion, it was decided that it was the only sensible thing to do for everyone concerned.

Isobel is getting ready to graduate High School and is debating what she wants to do with her life. Her attitude is finally thawing towards Andrew and she is beginning to accept her new grandfather. As we are sitting chatting and eating, Christian's phone rings, he sighs and reaches into his pocket and frowns as he looks at the screen.

"Theo" he says as he answers, I see him smile as he listens, "Sure I'll send the plane... yes... ok, see you then son, bye" he puts his phone back in his pocket and turns to me, "Theo and Harry want to come home for the weekend, and it appears our son has a girlfriend and he wants us to meet her" I see the amusement is evident on Christians face.

**oooOOOooo**

Christian and I go to the airport to meet Theo and Gail and Taylor go to meet Harry. Harry emerges from the plane first closely followed by Ryan who is looking around and always on alert. Harry runs down the steps of the plane and straight into Gail's arms, he kisses her soundly on the cheek, Taylor slaps Harry affectionately on the back and they embrace each other.

"Where's Phoebe?" Harry asks, looking around.

I look over towards him, "She is at home; she was up all night with Damien so I didn't have the heart to wake her" I explain.

Harry nods and then turns towards the car and climbs in. I look towards the plane and see our eldest son walking down the steps with a tall slim girl with blonde hair down to her waist and perfect grooming and makeup. Theo is beaming as he leads his girlfriend towards us, he kisses my cheek gently and after embracing me warmly he turns and hugs his father. He then turns to the girl beside him and pulls her forward, "Mom, Dad, this is Jennifer, Jennifer Harris, Jen this is my mom and dad."

Jennifer is staring at Christian, and smiles widely "I'm so pleased to meet you" she gushes "fancy me meeting _the_ Christian Grey".

She has ignored me completely, but I expected as much, Christian still makes women's heads turn it amuses me now the effect my husband has on women, but something is making me edgy about this girl, call it a mothers instinct but warning bells are sounding in my mind about her, I can't decide what it is but something isn't right.

Back at home, Theo is enthusiastically introducing Jen to everyone, Alex is friendly, but I notice Izzy is more than a little reserved. Phoebe is polite but she is just delighted to see Harry and isn't really interested in anyone else.

I can't shake the negative vibes I am still getting and so I wander over to Izzy who, by her demeanour appears to be having the same issues so I pull her to one side.

"You don't like her do you?" I whisper.

Izzy shakes her head, "she doesn't give a shit about Theo and she has gold digger written all over her" she says.

"What makes you say that?" I ask intrigued to know what Izzy has noticed.

"For starters she is more interested in dad than Theo; look at her she is practically falling over herself to get him to notice her. Then when she isn't trying to get dad to notice her, she isn't interested in Theo at all, she is looking all over the place, look she's doing it now," she stops and nods, and I follow her gaze and take a moment to watch her and sure enough Jen's eyes are everywhere, everywhere except Theo and she hasn't given him as much as a glance.

"Theo can't take his eyes off her, he's in love with her, but she doesn't give a damn about him, she hasn't made eye contact with him once. She's more interested in dad and the stuff in the room than she is of him," Izzy says bitterly.

I give my daughter a brief hug, "thank you, you have confirmed all my fears" I say sadly.

I sigh; this is what I had feared when my children started seeing people that they would be used by people for their wealth and their name. It happened early with Phoebe and now it is happening with Theo.

I watch as Theo and Jen disappear, I look around and notice Christian has also vanished. I go in search of him and I find him on the phone in his office. He turns to look at me when I enter.

"Ok Welch, thanks" he throws his phone on the table. I walk towards him.

"Are you getting Welch to do a background check on Jen?" I ask.

Christian nods, "There is something about her which I don't like or trust," he says quietly.

I nod, "Same here and for the record Izzy doesn't like her either, she thinks she's a gold digger" I wrap my arms around Christians waist. "We can't let Theo know how we feel, we will only push him quicker into her arms, so we have to accept her and be friendly and welcoming to her despite what we think and hope she shows her true colours quickly and that Theo comes to his senses".

Christian nods in agreement.

**oooOOOooo**

_Five months later..._

We are heading towards the summer, five months have passed and we are looking towards Theo's graduation, we are all preparing for the flight to Harvard to see the ceremony, Christian is bursting with pride, his son is this year's valedictorian, and he will be giving the closing speech at the graduation ceremony.

Everyone is going to be there, Grace, Andrew, Ray, Phoebe and little Damien, Isobel and Alex. Elliot and Kate are also coming as is Mia. Ethan cannot get time off work to come and Jonathan is staying in Seattle with him and Ava and Zoe are also staying behind. Noah is away with his mother Susannah on holiday, but the rest of the family is turning out in force to see our eldest son graduate.

Theo's future is secure, as he will be working for Christian. To his credit he has done what he said he was going to do and he has taken an entry level position and he is determined that he is going to learn the business from the ground up. He said wants his father's life work to be in good hands when the day comes that he will take over the running of GEH. Harry is meeting us at Harvard he won't be graduating yet his degree course is much longer for Law than the business one which Theo studied.

Isobel has been looking at options for when she leaves school, she graduates soon and has been thinking seriously about her future. She has been considering law enforcement which terrifies me or the military which terrifies me even more. Alex is much more settled now and he is responding to his therapy with Flynn. It's taking time but he is gradually believing that he did nothing wrong. He still sees a lot of Ava and as a result he has been getting close to Elliot, who has given him little bits to do on his construction sites and Alex seems to enjoy it. Elliot pays him for doing what he does, it is mainly simple tasks and donkey work, but he is earning his own money and seems keen to go into the construction business when he leaves school. Elliot has promised him a position within Grey Construction, if he still feels the same way when he leaves school.

Today is about Theo though, as we all board Christian's plane I am excited to see my son again. What I am not so keen on is seeing Jen again, Theo seems head over heels in love with her, but everyone else can see she is a gold digger. We are trying to be supportive but at the same time trying to discreetly and tactfully warn Theo about her.

It's an early start and a long flight so I make my way into the cabin at the back of the plane and try to get some sleep. When I awaken I feel Christian lying behind me, he is rhythmically running his hand up and down my arm. I roll over and face him and he smiles at me and kisses me on the lips, immediately the kiss deepens and before we know it we are in the throes of passion.

"God, I love you so much Mrs Grey" Christian mutters in my ear.

"I love you too," I say staring up at him and running my fingers through his hair.

"Won't we be missed, everyone is out there?" I suddenly feel dreadfully exposed at what we have just been doing.

Christian smiles, "Everyone has the same idea as you did, they were all fast asleep when I came in here" he murmurs kissing my neck gently.

When we land Theo is waiting for us and he is alone, I am immediately ashamed of the fact my heart leaps when I see this.

"Hello darling," I say as I embrace him and kiss his cheek, "Where's Jen?" I ask warily.

I watch as his face darkens at the mention of her name, "We broke up," Theo says shortly.

I can see the pain in his eyes, and so I don't push him. Christian wraps his arm around his son's shoulder and offers him comfort.

"She was cheating on me," he says suddenly, "Ryan caught her in a compromising situation in a bar and he told me. She didn't even deny it when I confronted her" he stops and shakes his head.

**oooOOOooo**

The graduation ceremony is a huge success, Theo's speech goes down well and he gets a standing ovation, I glance at Christian who is radiating pride as he stands to give his son a round of applause.

Afterwards, we are all having drinks and food and a lot of people are gravitating towards Christian to talk to him, so I wander off. I can't help thinking back to my own graduation and how the relationship with Christian was then, at that point he still wanted me as his sub and things were difficult, to say the least between us but I smile at the memory.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Izzy who comes and pulls my arm.

"Mom," she says I turn to smile at her.

"Yes darling," I say, reaching out to her.

"Phoebe wants you," she mutters a look of clear disapproval on her face. I walk over to Phoebe who is standing with Harry who is holding Damien in his arms, he is blowing raspberries on his tummy and Damien is squealing and giggling with delight.

"Mom, would you mind taking care of Damien for us so we can spend a bit of time together?" Phoebe asks.

"Sure," I say and I take Damien from Harry's arms.

"Thanks, mom," Phoebe says and with that, they wander away.

"Left holding the baby," Izzy says sarcastically as she comes over, Damien holds his hand out to Izzy and she absently gives him her finger to grab.

"She deserves a break," I say quietly, and she will be fine with Harry.

Christian wanders over and takes Damien from my arms, "Come here little man" he says "Come to your granddad."

As he takes him, photographers appear from everywhere wanting a shot of grandfather and grandson, Christian watches them carefully and agrees to pose and allows a few photographs, but when he says enough they know better than to push him and they thank him and then melt away.

Theo comes over to me to speak to me, he looks so handsome in his gown and cap and Izzy takes a photograph of us. Theo towers over me now, he is taller than Christian and then Christian comes over and we all pose for a series of photographs. Harry and Phoebe re-appear briefly and Ryan takes a photograph of the whole family.

As we are milling around, a voice makes me bristle, "Theo" they say carefully.

We all turn and see Jen standing looking at Theo and my heart sinks.

"What do you want Jen?" Theo asks staring at her coldly.

She glances at all of us staring at her and she fiddles with her gown, "Can I talk to you privately, I want to apologise" she says.

Theo sighs and walks away with her. I shake my head I don't know if he will forgive her and if she will hurt him again. But I feel he has to learn from his own mistakes, I can't be there to protect him from everything, I can only just to be there to advise him and pick up the pieces.

As I am thinking this, I am distracted by a man who comes up to me, I have no idea who he is.

"Mrs Grey," he says smoothly.

I frown, "Hello, I'm sorry, do I know you?" I ask.

He shakes his head, "No you don't but I know you, I have been following you for years, you are a very beautiful woman, and you are far too good for him" he glances towards Christian.

Then without any warning he reaches towards me and grabs my arm, fear streaks through me, I try to pull away, I reach up to slap him with my free hand and he grabs it. I look desperately towards Christian, who is charging towards me along with Izzy who is looking ferocious.

"Get your hands off my wife" Christian spits at the man.

He grins at Christian, "make me" he says with a sneer.

Before Christian can move Isobel has stepped in so fast and with such intensity, I don't even see what she does. All I know is I am free and the man is groaning on the floor and security are running towards us.

Christian is holding me tightly in his arms checking my arms "Are you ok baby?" he says breathlessly.

I nod, "Who is he?" I ask. I am shocked everything happened so fast.

Christian shrugs, "no idea," he says, and everyone has gathered around us, Grace looks shocked. I watch as the man is led away.

We later discover that the man was mentally ill, he had been obsessed with me since I had married Christian and felt I should be with him instead, he had managed to get into the graduation ceremony as he had a niece who was graduating at the same time as Theo.

To him it had been the perfect opportunity for him to stake his claim. I felt sick when I heard that and in that moment I was glad for Christians over protectiveness and his constant security fears. Christian didn't leave my side for the rest of the day and he escorted me to the bathroom and waited for me to re-emerge. I think it had shaken him more than he chose to admit. In recent years we have both become a little complacent as far as security is concerned, we are sure of each other and although we still had our team around us, things have become more relaxed in recent times. This was a wake-up call that we couldn't ignore and made me realise that being married to Christian Grey was not something you could ever totally forget.

**oooOOOooo**

That night in the hotel we all had dinner, in a private dining room in the hotel we were staying at and everyone is a little shaken by the events that transpired at the graduation.

Andrew is shocked more than anyone else; it is the first time he has come into contact with anything like what happened today. Another person who has been quiet and 'off' is Theo, although I suspected there are other reasons behind that. He came up to me as we were making our way to the dining room.

"Are you ok mom?" he asks catching hold of my arm, and I see the concern is evident in his eyes.

"Yes thank you darling" I nod, and look at him closely "how about you?" I ask vaguely hoping he will offer me something about his conversation earlier with Jen.

Theo sighs and shrugs, and then starts to speak, "she wanted to apologise for cheating, and she wanted me to give her another chance but I said no. She didn't love me enough if she was prepared to go off with someone else at the drop of a hat, in fact I don't think she really loved me at all, she just loved my name and that was all" he says sadly.

I wrap my arms around my son, "You are a smart boy Theo, you will find someone who loves you for you". I kiss him on the forehead and he smiles at me.

"Come on let's sit down," I say gesturing to the table and I move forward and take my seat.

Christian is sat at the head of the table; "I just want to say a few words" he says as he looks around.

"We have everyone here and aside from the unpleasant episode after the graduation ceremony, today has been a wonderful day, our eldest son has graduated from Harvard university – Theo, I am so very proud of you, and I know GEH will be in safe hands when I decide that I want to retire, Phoebe, you are now a mother and have taken to the job fantastically you and Harry make a wonderful couple and you have a beautiful family. Harry, you are an inspiration to everyone you have overcome adversity and become a solid young man. Izzy, what can I say, thank you for today, you are remarkable young woman and I am so proud of you. Alex my baby son, you too have suffered and you have overcome, you are an inspiration to me every day".

He stops and then turns towards all the rest of the family around the table.

"Elliot, my dear brother", he stops and smiles "you have finally got your act together and I am so proud of you for that. Mia, you will always be my baby sister but you are and always will be very special to me. Kate, we haven't always seen eye to eye, but you are strong woman and I am proud to count you as a friend and as family. Mom, I want to take this opportunity to thank you and Carrick – god rest his soul for giving me the life you did, you have no idea what that has meant to me all these years" he pauses again and swallows deeply, "Andrew... dad, we have only been father and son for a short time, but I am so glad we finally found each other. Ray, you allowed me to marry your daughter, I won't say stepdaughter as you are more than a stepfather to Ana and for that I will be eternally grateful, and I consider myself blessed and extremely lucky to have a father in law like you, thank you" he stops and then he looks at me, I watch as his gaze immediately heats with the love he feels for me.

His face shines with love and affection as he turns to face me; he reaches over and grasps my hand, pulling me towards him. "Ana, my darling Ana what can I say to you, that I haven't said already? You are my life, I loved you from the moment you fell into my office all those years ago, you saw a part of me which I didn't even see myself and you loved me and despite my many faults you wanted me anyway. You have loved me to the point of putting your own life in danger, you are my everything Ana. I love you isn't enough to describe how I feel about you" he stops and gazes at me. The whole table is silent, and slowly a round of applause trickles out.

Grace is in tears, "That was so beautiful darling, I have never heard you talk with so much emotion and feeling so publicly before, I am so proud of you" she stops and sniffs into her tissue.

I swallow deeply "I'd just like to echo what Christian has said, and thank everyone for coming and celebrating our sons graduation. I would also like to mention Ethan who can't be here due to work commitments and Jonathan, Ava, Zoe and Noah who are all back home in Seattle".

I pause "and of course, there are people who should be here to share this but even though they are no longer with us they will always be remembered, they are of course, my mother Carla and Carrick."

Isobel looks choked up as does everyone else, she raises her glass "To family, all family those around this table and those who have left us but are still in our hearts... to family" she says.

"To family" is the resounding chorus.


	28. Chapter 28

EPILOGUE

It's been three years now since my mom and dad died, _the_ Christian Grey died at the good age of 87, peacefully in his sleep. My mom died just a week later aged 81. We all say it was a broken heart as they were soul mates, one just could not live without the other and they were joined by love in a way which nobody could ever understand or explain. Their love was solid and nobody had ever come between them, and they were more than husband and wife, it was a bond of love which seemed to be stronger than life itself.

I look at the neat graves in our family plot. Mom, dad, Granddad Carrick and Grandma Grace, and Granddad Andrew, who finally was reunited with his son after years of searching, Granddad Ray and of course my twin brother, Matthew, I look at his grave and wonder what he would have done with his life if he'd only had the chance to live it, then I look at the grave of my sister Phoebe who threw her life away.

My mind wanders to the rest of my family, and the other graves in the plot, I think of Aunt Kate and Uncle Elliot, they remarried and lived in peace until Uncle Elliot died of natural causes. Aunt Kate is still alive but doesn't know anybody now, dementia is such a cruel disease. Aunt Mia is still alive and an old lady now, but still very much the same person she was when she was younger. She is also a widow, after Uncle Ethan died suddenly from a massive stroke. It was a shock but everyone rallied around, my dad was a great tower of strength to her when it happened. Ava and Zoe are both married now and I talk to Ava regularly. She and I have this bond from what happened to us when we were kids, and they are both great moms to their kids. Ava is shrink and a damn good one and Zoe is in the teaching profession as a mathematics teacher.

Noah is a television producer he works for one of the big networks, Jonathan – Aunty Mia's son is a police commissioner now living in California. He went through the ranks and worked his way up, probably due to the influence from his cousin Isobel, I smile as I think about my big sis who has always looked out for us all and protected us with a fierce intensity. We don't see her much now, she is 57 and a big shot in the FBI but I know that if I needed her she would be there. She never married, too married to her job and to getting justice for people.

This leads me on to thoughts of my eldest brother Theo, he's 61 now and he followed in dad's footsteps and he how runs Grey Enterprise Holdings. He reminds me of dad so much, he is a ruthless businessman but kind-hearted and generous to his family. He has been married twice; his first wife Susan was a gold digger of epic proportions only after his money and the status his name gave her. Thankfully the prenup allowed him to get away from her reasonably intact. But when he met Helena we all knew she was a keeper, she wasn't interested in his money and refused to accept anything from him, in fact she reminded me a lot of mom as she has a kind heart and plenty of love to give. They have a son - Christian, I knew Theo would name his son after our dad. He is going to be the new Christian Grey of GEH soon, after following in his grandfathers and fathers footsteps.

Then there's Pheebs what can I say about her, if there is such a thing as the proverbial black sheep in a family and if indeed there has to be one, it seems Phoebe was ours. Harry doted on her and he gave her everything. He became a rich and powerful lawyer, my brother Theo uses his services for any legal matters and he is good, really good. He gave Phoebe everything she wanted, but for Phoebe it just wasn't enough, Harry and Damien were heartbroken when she just left one day without a word, it seemingly came out of the blue, we all knew that she had been suffering from depression after the miscarriage of a second child, and everyone had tried to support her and help her, she blamed Harry but he was just as devastated with the loss as she was, but Phoebe just pushed everyone away and started doing stupid things. She started complaining she was being suffocated and needed to go out and enjoy herself, Harry indulged her as he felt he had no other option but to do so, but the next thing we knew she had just gone, left her husband and son and just vanished. We later learnt that Phoebe had got into a bad crowd and started using drugs again, but this time she didn't stop at cannabis, she got in too deep with hard drugs and got hooked on crack. I went with Harry to identify her body when we eventually managed to track her down. She had been found dead in a seedy apartment and she had died of an overdose, and we had discovered she had been prostituting herself to pay for the drugs.

Harry was gutted, but to his credit, he has been there for Damien, and has been a rock of stability for him. Harry's 63 now and retired from the law but still does a little to keep his hand in as a favour for people, Damien is 41 and followed his stepfather into law. I glance over at Phoebe's grave once more and I shake my head, such a waste of a life.

Finally there's me, little Alexander Grey the youngest son of Christian and Ana, the miracle who survived when his twin brother died. I'm 55 now, I went to work for Uncle Elliot in the construction industry, and now I own Grey Construction, after Uncle Elliot left it to me and named me as his successor in his will. I have a wife, Dee who I am totally and completely in love with she is beautiful, clever and wonderful woman who is the love of my life. She works for an advertising company and we have a 16-year-old daughter and I am very happy. None of us are poor, our father made sure we would be more than well provided for in his will.

"Dad" A voice pulls me from my thoughts I turn and see my 16-year-old daughter walking towards me.

"Hello Ana darling," I say and wrap my arm around her, she has her grandmother's name and her looks.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Oh just visiting," I say quietly, "Why did you come here to find me?" I ask.

"There is no-one home, mom's still at work and I called the construction site and Doug said you were coming here on your way home, so I thought I'd come and find you".

She smiles at me, "Come on dad lets go home" she pulls at my hand.

"I'm coming baby" I turn towards the graves once more, and with a small smile, I whisper a single word.

"Laters!"

**THE END**


End file.
